You have to remember that Amazon's margin is around 3%. Which means that if they have to float the bill for one bad sale, they have to sell 30 of those items to get back to even. Thus, the scorched earth policy. It's well known that Amazon will ban your account if they find out a banned user is using your account. Thus, I can't say I feel too badly for you. If anything, be mad at your potential wife for not telling you she had a banned account.
The scorched policy is tough, but fair. They give rock bottom prices to the consumers. Could they give you a second, third, fourth chance? I'm sure they could. But as others alluded, that would require them to raise their prices on their own goods because instead of an automated email they would have to have a bigger customer service staff, better IT tracking software for customer complaints, and more manager oversight to rule on the process. It's just not worth it to them. And they are going gangbusters as noted by their Christmas sales. So as sad as it may be that you won't be able to buy items from them, they'll make it up.
Yes, Amazon leans heavily towards the customer. But other bad sellers get on the site. I stopped buying "new" items from the marketplace unless the price was good enough for a used item because I've gotten clearly used items from that before. And these are sellers with 95+%. It's also really impossible to prove the seller was correct which is why they go in the buyer's favor. I mean, I could find a picture on the internet of anything in perfect condition, and send it to them. Same thing with the buyer, they could find a picture of an item broken into 1,000 pieces. There is just no way to prove who is actually telling the truth other than if the buyer says they didn't receive anything and you had delivery confirmation. But even then, they could say you send them a pen, and there is no real way to prove you sent them a game.
Amazon floats the bill? No they don't. They either take it out of your disbursement or charge the card you have to put on file. Whatever they do have to foot gets written off.
The scorched earth policy is ANYTHING but fair. My account got banned because a person bought a used printer that worked and the idiot couldn't figure out how to set it up. He complained. 2 people bought blockbuster DVD's that were marked as rentals. The left 0 out of 5 and complained eventhough they were clearly stated as rentals. Nothing about it is fair.
With your last statement, you are basically saying, what the hell is the point of selling online. Sellers can be dishonest, buyers can be dishonest. Ridiculous. There is a way to tell. Look at the sellers history, compared to some random buyer making a claim.