The 2012 CAG VS Almanac

nasum

CAGiversary!
Was this done last year?

You have to make some predictions.
1.) Joke
2.) Serious
3.) The Mayans Were Rightight (your apocalypse theory)
4.) Election
5.) Personal
6.) Completely Random

1.) Severe drought despite relatively cool temps in the upper midwest. Farmers use Gatorade instead of water because it has "electrolytes".
As a complete aside, that's the Sara Rue that I would have absolutely destroyed given the opportunity. The current one is about 15-20lbs. too low and I think measures her thetons or whatever it is those creeps do.

2.) Gas will hit $4.75 because Iran will sink a tanker in the Strait of Hormuz. The fallout of which could easily mess with my #3 & 4.

3.) Israel, Egypt or Saudi Arabia will launch a nuke on Iran because of #2, with the blessing of the US, though it will be shown as a "strong stand against" nuclear aggression. The ensuing air and ground war a la~ Gulf War I will lead to #4.

4.) The Romney/Pawlenty ticket is so milquetoast that, despite my 2 and 3, Obama wins in a landslide. Sarah Palin will attempt an October surprise but will be laughed at in the not so mainstream media that is, apparently, the mainstream media.
Gay marriage will pass in the MN deal but Voter ID will pass too.

5.) I will get married and get another DUI. Probably in that order. I will also at some point say fuck It and buy a Mesa Boogie Mark V despite not having the spare cash to do so.
This of course unless my medical issues kill me before September.
Either way, I'm pretty sure I've got another DUI coming.

6.) Mass Effect 3 wins GOTY despite being released 9 months before the end of the year and not being the best selling game of the year and terrible PS3 sales.
'Taker goes 19-1. There, I said it. I don't like it, but it happens.
 
1. Chris Dodd passes out while peeing in the middle of the night and hits his head on the bathtub, getting a concussion.* While knocked out cold, he has a vision of burnin bleezies with Richard Stallman and William Burroughs. Upon revival, he immediately resigns at the MPAA and joins the EFF board as an honorary member. In November of 2012 he is sued by every major motion picture company when it is learned that he is aXXo.

2. Keynesian theory isn't always right, but Hayekian theory is always wrong in a recession. Nobody learns that lesson.

3. North Korean starvation begins apace as soon as the first snow falls in October. The new kid decides he needs to rattle the sabre to prove his mettle. South Korea doesn't approve and limits aid transfers. North Korea sinks a South Korean ship and everyone shits the bed.

4. Republicans gain everywhere but the presidency. 2013 is one big clusterfuck.

5. I spend a month sobbing in the fetal position after I get a vasectomy when my 2nd and last kid is born. I finally get around to playing Dead Space 1/2.

6. The summer that never ended in 2011 never ends in 2012.

*That actually happened to me.
 
1. Mexico and India declare war on each other over which country is better equipped to outsource cheap labor jobs.

2. I'll come back to this one. It definitely involves drug legalization becoming an actual political issue.

3. Israel/Saudi's strike against Iran. Dominoes fall as Cuba/Venezuela counter attack American allies in South America (by associating the Saudi’s and Israeli’s attacks as America attacking Iran) and we get sucked into another war, one on multiple continents. North Korea is the wild card in the whole mess.

4. Scott Walker wins his recall election in Wisconsin. Presidential race is very very close despite the GOP offering a terrible candidate to run against Obama.

5. I will get back into gaming this year. This will lead me back to flipping games, and I'll get sick of that this summer. I'll also spend a lot of time working on my motorcycle before saying screw it and selling it on craigslist.

6. My twin nieces are going to drive me up the wall and I'm going to get sick of taking care of them. New xbox is announced at some point, and anti used game sales momentum grows (mainly in the developers eyes) and people will throw a fit about it. It won't change anything though.
 
[quote name='perdition(troy']just post in here guys. you can suck on each others dicks and call knoell/bob stupid later on, just take 30 seconds and post in here.[/QUOTE]
L.O.L.:roll:

1.) Obama shoves a new amendment down everyone's throat that allows foreign born people to become president as predicted in Demolition Man. He then reveals that he really IS a socialestist Kenyan commie usurper anti-christ that hates Christmas and kicks puppies for fun. As icing on the cake, he declares a war on Christmas and promises to hunt down Santa Clause, charge him in a military tribunal for b&e, and register him as a sex offender.

2.) Obama will continue a corporatist administration and push us further along the road of neo-feudalism.

3.) Zombie Apocalypse. The red states will have the only survivors because zombies only like to eat brains. Those of us in the blue states are fucked. Purple states will have some sort of equilibrium at first, but the zombies will eventually immigrate to Canada.

4.) Obama wins in a not-quite-a-landslide and Elizabeth Warren unseats Scott Brown in a close race. Republicans will still end up with enough seats to remain obstructionists.

5.) First gun or first kid. Fun times either way and both are money sink holes.

6.) DmC has shitty sales and Capcom announces DMC5 shortly after revealing that Platinum games will be developing it after completeing MGS:Revengance.
 
[quote name='perdition(troy']just post in here guys. you can suck on each others dicks and call knoell/bob stupid later on, just take 30 seconds and post in here.[/QUOTE]
Richard Pryor told me that if you post again you can suck his dick.
 
[quote name='perdition(troy']just post in here guys. you can suck on each others dicks and call knoell/bob stupid later on, just take 30 seconds and post in here.[/QUOTE]
Get Bob in here and the rest will flood in.
 
bread's done
Back
Top