Shitfaced Mario Kart 64 Review

If people need excitement and the races aren't competitive enough already, just start betting.

I don't see how booze adds anything to the karting experience. If everyone's just sitting around watching movies or talking, and the overall intent is not to watch or talk but to drink to your god of the harvest, then yes, invent arcane rules and giggle through a case of Natty Light with the bros at the frat house.

But this is karting, dammit. This is REAL LIFE happening. People want to be *less* functional for that, like it's somehow acceptable -- let alone "fun" -- to slide off Choco like a punk? That's fucked up. If you kart, you kart to win goddammit.

As substance abuse in karting goes, I would think it goes the other way, where people would ingest large amounts of stimulants to hone their reflexes and improve lap times. I'm really surprised we don't see more on this. I'll admit to getting stim'd up before some of the bigger cups I've karted. It was a long time ago, everyone was doing it. It started with Peach of all people. Next thing you know Bowser's juicing to jack his acceleration rate, and after that we all fell in line. Like I said, you kart to win. Serious business.
 
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