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Question about a WILL{Long Read} any feedback would be appreciated


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#1 Video-Gamer

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Posted 06 October 2012 - 04:21 AM

Turning to you my fellow cag'ers out there on this mater.
I'll try to make this as simple and short as possible.
Here is the thing - I have a step dad, he is in his 80'S. He never had a wife{besides my mother obviously}, never had kids, basically he was a lone wolf. He was an army person and was very commanding and had a very "army" type personality, meaning you must have followed his rules{Such as not placing the bread in 1 specific shelf or else all hell would break lose, yes - thats how bad he was/is}.
One specific time{as many times as before but not as bad as this specific incident}, I was on my way out to work from the house while he was in the kitchen with a knife on his hand and cutting some food - he saw me and stopped me right before I was about to open the door and leave - and asked me why did I put the spare tire{my car's tire} in the backyard storage room{which thats what that room was there for - for tools and such}, and I replied back and told him - "is that such a big deal for you???"
I've had it up with my neck with him and his random bites in that 1 year that I lived with him and my mom and I couldnt understand how my mom lived with him for 8 years up until that time. Any how - his response to me asking him if it was such a big deal if I put the tire in there was "no you cant fucking put that shit in there - its my fucking house and my fucking propery" and I said to myself "oh wow - so now right before Im about to leave to work{with my uniform on} he gonna start an argument about this{Me putting my spare tire in the storage room in the backyard}, so after his response I responded back and said "is that such a big fucking deal for you - you always have something to complain about - even when I buy food for the house from my own pocket and fill up the fridge - even that bothers you, Every damn thing bothers you? What kind of a person you are??? So as soon as I said that - he turned his body all the way towards me and was holding his steak knife and basically voices like "ugggh ugghhh and was literally trying to scare me with his knife and was throwing shots at me with that knife, its just like if some one trying to stab you and you are dodging his stabs - and I was about 2-3 meters away from him - and mind you I was stabbed when I was 18, so when I saw that knife - I got scared and I called the police because I had a trauma from before and when I saw that knife I thought he might try to kill me when I'll come home from work and while I sleep. The police came, took him in handcuffs, and he was released that same night I believe a few hours later. I went to work after the police finished questioning me of what happened, and came back home after midnight. Needless to say - he threw away all my stuff outside the house - my mom was overseas, and I didnt have no place to stay/sleep from that night on. Luckily - I knew the neighbhoors which were happen to be very friendly asian family with an american husband, they knew me and I knew their kids which were my age, they welcomed me with open hands to their house and let me sleep there for about a week before I found a new place to live.
To make this whole thing shorter, judgment day came - he was afraid that if the judge will find him guilty of him trying to stab me/kill me or attempt of assaulted battery or whatever you wanna call it - he might have lose his government job{he was working in an army base} and he might have not received any kind of money from that job if he would have been guilty. Weeks before the judgment came - my mom begged me to go to the judge and tell the judge that I forgive him, I didnt want to because I hated him for the way he was treating my mom for all those 8+ years, as far as my self I didnt mind it because I am much younger than my mom and I could handle all the words and yellings he threw at me{althought I think I did lose a lot of hair due to all the stress that I had in that house in that 1 year plus}, but bottom line - I wanted him to pay for all his fucked up actions when it came to my mom, and also the way he treated me didnt help for my feelings towards him.
So as the judgement day coming closer - my mom was beginning me to go to the court date and tell the judge that I forgive him, my aunts from overseas begged me, my brother and sister, every one, but mainly my mom was the person who I cared about the most - no one else, and even though I really hated him - I forced my self to go to the court even though I didnt have to, I showed up in the morning, saw him{Step dad} with his defense lawyer, his lawyer spoke in his defense as well as him and only thing they said were that the client{step dad} had a high blood pressure that day, it was a hot day, and he takes full responsibility and accepts what he did and asked for forgivness from the judge. The judge then turned to me and asked me if I have anything to say/add - and for the sake of my mom - I told the judge that I accept his apology.
The judge then noted that doesnt matter even if I accept his apology, this is a serious crime trying to threat some one with a knife, especially when it comes from a one family member to another{I considered him a real father not just step dad - I used to buy him cigars because I knew thats what he liked}, and this shouldnt be taken lightly - but at the end he just gave him 12 months of probation and 6 months of anger management.
After all of this said and done - I thought he really did realize that he mad a mistake - but nothing changed after that day at the court, he still was acting the same way towards me, hating me and always mentioning my name in vein to my that "your son called the police on me", and since then he has been hating me - even though I bailed him and saved him from losing his governmental job.
This is the main story about my step dad and my self, but now here is the story about the Will.
One day last year - he had a bad car accident. He was hospitalized for 6 months{I visited him more than a dozen of times while in hospital, my mom was there every day}, he got out of the hospital and was placed in rehab for another 3-4 months, I was visiting him there as well bringing him food, changing turns with my mom watching him. About 4 months after, just 3 months ago he was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors said he got anywhere between 1-3 months to live. This was a surprise to me and my mom because we both knew how hard of a person he is - always had energy to fight/argue and raise his voice like a captain - literally.
Here is the thing about the Will. My mom asked me to print up the 4 pages of the Will that the lawyer sent through email just 3 days ago, I printed the pages, I saw him put the name of my mother as his Attorney-In-Fact and Agent in his name and his benefit for:
1 - General Grant of Power
A - Power of Collection and Payments
B - Power to Acquire and sell
C - Management Powers
D - Banking Power
E - Power to Borrow and Give Security
F - Motor Vehicles
G - Business Interest
H - Legal Actions
I - Tax Powers
J - Safe Deposit Boxes
K - Other Specified Powers

And the list goes on.. However, I saw something very dis-pleasant, I saw him put the name of my cousin{2 years younger than me which he knows that me and him dont talk or communicate due to personal jealousy reasons that he had with me}, and I know that the reason he wrote his name because he{step dad} wanted revenge on me and him getting back with me because of the whole police situation with the knife years ago, I know his reasoning to do so and I know he did this because he wants me to feel pain or feel upset or angry why I wasnt included in the Will.
The thing that bothers is me not why I am not included in the will - but the fact that I am not so sure about the future of his assents which he passed to my mom because this cousin has his own mom, which his mom never got a long with my mom, my older sister and brother{jealousy reasons}, always had fights with every one in my family, she took a lot of money from my mom in an un-moral/ unfair way, and now with this whole thing with the Will - I dont know what to think of my mom's future's safety of her assets.
This is what him{step dad} wrote on the bottom of the first page of the Will:
"If my wife ________, ceases to act as my agent due to any reasons be - I appoint my wife's nephew________, as a successor agent"
On the 2nd page of the Will - he then mentioned once again the following:
A - "I appoint my wife________, as an executor of this my last Will and Testament. If for any reason my wife_________ shall cease to serve as an executor, then I appoint my wife's daughter______, to serve as an executor in her place and stead", keep reading - this gets better - "If for any reason my wife's daughter_____ ceases to act as an executor - I appoint my wife's nephew_________ to serve as executor in her place and stead".
Not done yet, he adds:
B - " I appoint my wife and her daughter as trustees of any trust created herunder, if for any reason both my wife and my wife's daughter cease to serve as trustee, then I appoint my wife's nephew to serve as a trustee in their place.
C - " I direct that no bond or other security shall be required of my executor, trustee or guardian or any successors thereto, in any jurisdiction in which they may qualify to act"

And take notice please that the nephew{my cousin} that he is talking about never even came to visit him in the hospital, or the rehab for all those months/close to year when he has been laying in the hospital or the rehab center, Im not sure if even a phone call was made. Only reason as I mentioned that he put my cousin's name in there is because he wants me to feel angry or pissed of, which Im not - only reason Im sharing this with you guys here because I consider cag' as my family, and to be honest I was thinking about talking about this with the lawyer who made this will for my step dad - but I dont feel 100% full trusted towards that lawyer.
Basically - after talking about this with with close friend - he advised me to read the whole will{4 pages long} and try to understand the whole thing, which I didnt do because its way to damn long, but the most important points were mentioned in here by me which is when it comes to the names.
I would just like to know one thing - since my mom is the main successor of her husband - will she be able to make new will for her own self when time comes and have all properties{2 houses} and all the funds that her husband left for her be given to any person of her choice?
I really dont care about myself honestly when it comes to this whole issue, I'm sure my mom cares about me and she will leave me something but honestly not about that, this is about my mom's future as far as her husband's assets. I myself am a hard working person, a Im a cag'er just like you guys, I survive by my self, provide food for myself, provide for my gaming needs myself, I dont ask any one for anything when it comes to money, Im just trying to ensure my own family's{Mother, blood brother and blood sister} future safety and well being just like any normal caring family member would do.
I apologize for the long message, but I had to share this with you guys because just seeing the name of my cousin, and know him and his mother - Im not so sure what to think of this.
Maybe I'm over-reacting or not really understanding what I read on the Will especially since I am a lawyer myself - but just seeing my cousin's name in there gives me an orange/red flag.
I would really appreciate it if any one who has some experience in legal matters such as this wouldnt mind shedding some light/info on this situation.

Edited by Video-Gamer, 06 October 2012 - 09:12 AM.


#2 Rosterking

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Posted 06 October 2012 - 05:48 AM

Wow, I enjoyed the story, hope everything falls through for you.

#3 Video-Gamer

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Posted 06 October 2012 - 07:02 AM

Wow, I enjoyed the story, hope everything falls through for you.


Thanks a lot I really appreciate it. I hope more people will respond back.

#4 SolidSnake86

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Posted 06 October 2012 - 08:03 AM

I'm glad to see that you stayed strong through dealing with this guy. If I was in your position, I, on the other hand, would not have been so forgiving, and would have made sure he suffered to the utmost degree in his final months. He truly sounds like a miserable bastard.

Good for you though, pulling through it all.


#5 Salamando3000

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Posted 06 October 2012 - 08:37 AM

standard "I am not a lawyer" disclaimer applies here. The executor of the will is simply the person who carries out the terms of the will. They take care of things like remaining debts, taxes, and paperwork. What you should be interested in are the distribution of assets and who the beneficiaries are. I'd imagine most of the stuff was owned jointly between him and your mom, so she should get it all. Once the terms of the will have been carried out and his estate closed, the assets belong to who they belong to. If you mom got both houses, its up to her what to do with it in her will. Again, I am not a lawyer.


#6 Video-Gamer

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Posted 06 October 2012 - 08:54 AM

I'm glad to see that you stayed strong through dealing with this guy. If I was in your position, I, on the other hand, would not have been so forgiving, and would have made sure he suffered to the utmost degree in his final months. He truly sounds like a miserable bastard.

Good for you though, pulling through it all.



Thank you for the positive words, I did lose a lot of nerves because of him, but my mother is the one who I care about in here the most - not my self, and she is the one that really needs a medal of honor for putting up with him and his crazy crap for 12+ years.

#7 Video-Gamer

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Posted 06 October 2012 - 09:04 AM

standard "I am not a lawyer" disclaimer applies here. The executor of the will is simply the person who carries out the terms of the will. They take care of things like remaining debts, taxes, and paperwork. What you should be interested in are the distribution of assets and who the beneficiaries are. I'd imagine most of the stuff was owned jointly between him and your mom, so she should get it all. Once the terms of the will have been carried out and his estate closed, the assets belong to who they belong to. If you mom got both houses, its up to her what to do with it in her will. Again, I am not a lawyer.


If this is true what you said in here - then this is quite the relief for both me{not because I will be glad to know that I will be getting anything because I really dont care about his money when it comes to myself, I been providing for myself for the past 10 years and never asked a penny from him or my mom for that matter and I know no one knows me here in person but this is the truth and really I could care less if I dont get anything because Im the type of a person who is enough with whatever I have and what ever I make, I never ask for too much, I never "hoard" when it comes to games/buying stuff online, Im just happy with what I got and do my best to provide for myself}, but what I do care about is my mom and making sure she gets everything, and I mean - Everything - because she really does deserve everything for all these years that she put up with him.
I am wondering if any one could take the time to read the 4 PDF files of the Will that the laywer sent us and let me know what does it means exactly, I would be really greatful and would be even willing to send a game for the PS3/ Xbox 360 of your choice.

#8 dohdough

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Posted 06 October 2012 - 02:13 PM

I second what Salamando3000 said about looking at the distribution of assets. That's where you'll really see if he's screwing your mom or not, but it sounds like she was given power-of-attorney with everything that isn't being signed over to anyone else. Is the will in legalese?

*Not a lawyer.

#9 Video-Gamer

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Posted 06 October 2012 - 06:50 PM

I second what Salamando3000 said about looking at the distribution of assets. That's where you'll really see if he's screwing your mom or not, but it sounds like she was given power-of-attorney with everything that isn't being signed over to anyone else. Is the will in legalese?

*Not a lawyer.



Im sorry but Im not sure what "legalese" means?

#10 Collectorguy00

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Posted 07 October 2012 - 01:48 PM

He made a joke. He's asking if the will is in all legal mumbo jumbo. I hope everything works out for you too! I would of just shown up to court that day and said I hope he gets the maximum sentence!
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#11 camoor

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Posted 07 October 2012 - 02:18 PM

He doesn't want your help. He said so very plainly in the will. I wouldn't help him if I were you.

#12 Video-Gamer

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 08:00 AM

He made a joke. He's asking if the will is in all legal mumbo jumbo. I hope everything works out for you too! I would of just shown up to court that day and said I hope he gets the maximum sentence!



Yes its all legalized through a lawyer.
Thanks again regardless.

#13 AvengedBacklog

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 11:03 AM

I agree with what others have said, distribution of assets is where you really ought to be interested to see what your mom will receive. But it sounds like her and her daughter (assuming shes your sister here) will really be handling most of the responsibilities from the will. Hope it all works out for you, kudos for handling a rough situation really well!

#14 dohdough

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Posted 09 October 2012 - 01:42 AM

It wasn't really a joke.;)

What I was asking is if it was written in a way that only lawyers would be able to understand. If it wasn't, then I strongly recommend that you attempt to read and understand it yourself as four pages doesn't sound that overwhelming. If you can't, I also strongly recommend that you find a lawyer on your own to help explain it.

I hope things work out for you.

#15 Video-Gamer

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 07:29 AM

I agree with what others have said, distribution of assets is where you really ought to be interested to see what your mom will receive. But it sounds like her and her daughter (assuming shes your sister here) will really be handling most of the responsibilities from the will. Hope it all works out for you, kudos for handling a rough situation really well!



Thanks again for the positive words.

#16 blindinglights

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 01:33 PM

Not sure if I understand what happened because your story isn't that clear, but did he hand write on a printed will? Depending on the state laws, he might have screwed up.

Long story short:

My Grandfather had a will drafted up by an attorney years before his death. He was a hateful old man, and when it was close to his time he decided to hand write changes on the will to make sure my Grandmother got nothing of his. Well, just so happens that the law says you can either have a hand written will or a printed will, but if you write changes on the printed document it becomes invalid. My Grandmother became the the sole beneficiary of all his possessions by default since there was no valid will.
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#17 kill3r7

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 02:13 PM

Your Mom is the executor. Once the Will is probated the assets will be distributed as per the instructions in the Will. If the Will is found to be invalid then you need to look at state distribution laws. There is nothing you can do to change things. So just sit back and relax. P.S. your mom can hire an attorney of her choosing to probate the will.

#18 kill3r7

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 02:19 PM

Not sure if I understand what happened because your story isn't that clear, but did he hand write on a printed will? Depending on the state laws, he might have screwed up.

Long story short:

My Grandfather had a will drafted up by an attorney years before his death. He was a hateful old man, and when it was close to his time he decided to hand write changes on the will to make sure my Grandmother got nothing of his. Well, just so happens that the law says you can either have a hand written will or a printed will, but if you write changes on the printed document it becomes invalid. My Grandmother became the the sole beneficiary of all his possessions by default since there was no valid will.


The problem with your Grandfather's Will was that he altered the will post "perfection". That's a big no no. You cannot simply correct a Will. In such a case you need to draw up a new Will. I know logically it sounds ass backwards but in practice it works really well for many reasons.

#19 camoor

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 02:45 PM

Not sure if I understand what happened because your story isn't that clear, but did he hand write on a printed will? Depending on the state laws, he might have screwed up.

Long story short:

My Grandfather had a will drafted up by an attorney years before his death. He was a hateful old man, and when it was close to his time he decided to hand write changes on the will to make sure my Grandmother got nothing of his. Well, just so happens that the law says you can either have a hand written will or a printed will, but if you write changes on the printed document it becomes invalid. My Grandmother became the the sole beneficiary of all his possessions by default since there was no valid will.


Ahahaha that's awesome.

#20 KCS13

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 02:57 PM

The problem with your Grandfather's Will was that he altered the will post "perfection". That's a big no no. You cannot simply correct a Will. In such a case you need to draw up a new Will. I know logically it sounds ass backwards but in practice it works really well for many reasons.


Some states, i.e. PA, would have possibly allowed the Grandfather's handwritten changes to be probated, particularly if he just struckthrough specific words or phrases.

#21 kill3r7

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 03:01 PM

Some states, i.e. PA, would have possibly allowed the Grandfather's handwritten changes to be probated, particularly if he just struckthrough specific words or phrases.


Do the changes need to be witnessed? I'm only familiar with NY law (or at least what i remember of it from law school).

#22 Clak

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 03:46 PM

Yeah I'd think there would need to be a witness or something, otherwise what's to stop someone from changing it after the person dies?
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#23 KCS13

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 04:22 PM

Do the changes need to be witnessed? I'm only familiar with NY law (or at least what i remember of it from law school).


I'm in law school right now in PA and in Estates and Trusts. It's my understanding that PA is one of the loosest states in regards to interpreting wills. A will does not even need to be witnessed by anyone if signed by the testator, though it is typical procedure to do so. Changes to a will need not be witnessed either, however; the will must be re-executed (signing by the changes suffices, iirc) if there is a cancellation and then a subsequent addition. Specifically, the case of In re: Crist's Estate was mentioned in class (and is what I referenced earlier), where the decedent struckthrough certain provisions and even added some writing (in one section a legacy of $4000 was made and decedent wrote above the "$4000" $1000 and the court determined that it was meant to be an additional $1000 to the $4000 legacy).

On a side note, our professor told us a story that somewhere in PA a desk was probated because a person etched their last will and testament into it and signed at the bottom LOL

#24 kill3r7

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 04:48 PM

I'm in law school right now in PA and in Estates and Trusts. It's my understanding that PA is one of the loosest states in regards to interpreting wills. A will does not even need to be witnessed by anyone if signed by the testator, though it is typical procedure to do so. Changes to a will need not be witnessed either, however; the will must be re-executed (signing by the changes suffices, iirc) if there is a cancellation and then a subsequent addition. Specifically, the case of In re: Crist's Estate was mentioned in class (and is what I referenced earlier), where the decedent struckthrough certain provisions and even added some writing (in one section a legacy of $4000 was made and decedent wrote above the "$4000" $1000 and the court determined that it was meant to be an additional $1000 to the $4000 legacy).

On a side note, our professor told us a story that somewhere in PA a desk was probated because a person etched their last will and testament into it and signed at the bottom LOL


It never seizes to amaze me how quirky the law is from state to state. Either way, that's a great story.

#25 KCS13

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 05:00 PM

It never seizes to amaze me how quirky the law is from state to state. Either way, that's a great story.


I totally agree. As much as I understand the desire/need for state's rights, it would be so much easier for everybody involved to have one set of laws that govern all citizens regardless of what state they live in even if it involves a state law question.

#26 brewtownska

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 06:18 PM

I'm just a regular joe, the info I mention below is just based on things that came up during my parents executing the wills of both sets of grandparents. They didn't run into any problems, but they talked a lot about "had this happened, here's what would have needed to be done". And of course, things they learned from their lawyer while drafting up their own wills.

As everyone else mentioned, the distribution of assets is the important thing. If he specifically leaves certain items or amounts of money to people, the executer is there to enforce that happens as requested. I think the will can also explicitly say DON'T give anything to specific people.

So at this point, while it may not specifically leave you anything, it's a win for you if he hasn't specifically said DO NOT GIVE YOU ANYTHING. I doubt he'd do that, as your mom would know and she'd probably hassle him about it. You know the saying...happy wife, happy life :)

Once the will is executed, if your mom wanted to pass anything left to her on to you, there's no reason she can't...at that point it's her money/assets.

The reason they commonly mention multiple alternates as executer is if there's a major accident and multiple people on the will die at the same time. So if your mom and step dad died in the same car accident (unlikely if he's in the hospital), then the alternate would execute the will.

If that were to happen, here's where a law person would need to clarify what would happen. My understanding is blood trumps marriage. So if they both died and he had planned to leave everything to your mom and did not list alternate people after her, I'm not sure if the estate goes to YOU (blood relative of mom), or if they have to track down if HE has any blood relatives left (brother/sister)? I've heard horror stories about the state stepping in and holding funds until someone can stake claim to them, which is why a lawyer will always force you to be VERY SPECIFIC in your will on where assets go and covering all possibilities.

#27 Clak

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 06:49 PM

I'm in law school right now in PA and in Estates and Trusts. It's my understanding that PA is one of the loosest states in regards to interpreting wills. A will does not even need to be witnessed by anyone if signed by the testator, though it is typical procedure to do so. Changes to a will need not be witnessed either, however; the will must be re-executed (signing by the changes suffices, iirc) if there is a cancellation and then a subsequent addition. Specifically, the case of In re: Crist's Estate was mentioned in class (and is what I referenced earlier), where the decedent struckthrough certain provisions and even added some writing (in one section a legacy of $4000 was made and decedent wrote above the "$4000" $1000 and the court determined that it was meant to be an additional $1000 to the $4000 legacy).

On a side note, our professor told us a story that somewhere in PA a desk was probated because a person etched their last will and testament into it and signed at the bottom LOL

So what would stop , say someone's kids, from changing a parent's will after they've died? How would you prove it had been changed by someone other than the now dead parent? That seems like it would leave things open to all sorts of shady practices.

Although the idea of inscribing my will on giant granite tablet is rather interesting...lol.
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#28 KCS13

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 07:14 PM

So what would stop , say someone's kids, from changing a parent's will after they've died? How would you prove it had been changed by someone other than the now dead parent? That seems like it would leave things open to all sorts of shady practices.

Although the idea of inscribing my will on giant granite tablet is rather interesting...lol.


It is a very weird system and as of right now I'm not exactly sure what measures are implemented to ensure that the testator is actually the one making the cancellations as opposed to some other interested party.

#29 kill3r7

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 07:22 PM

So what would stop , say someone's kids, from changing a parent's will after they've died? How would you prove it had been changed by someone other than the now dead parent? That seems like it would leave things open to all sorts of shady practices.

Although the idea of inscribing my will on giant granite tablet is rather interesting...lol.


I am assuming that any word or portion that's struck through must be initialed and dated. Again, this is why voiding the Will is a better solution.

#30 Salamando3000

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 09:13 PM

My curiosity's piqued...Assuming two people are married, what type of scenario is needed so that one can write their spouse out of the will so they get nothing? Is just having your name on bank accounts or any property enough? Also sounds like it could help OP if he knows his stepfather just can't give everything away to a nephew or the Army.