Engagement Rings (HELP!)

Sith

Sith

CAG Veteran
Hey fellas. Need some serious help with this so I'll try to cut straight to the point:

I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years now and I think it's time to make things a tad more official.

Question #1: Is a pre-engagement ring a good idea or waste of money?

Question #2: How do you present this pre-engagement ring without making it feel like you're asking to get engaged lol? I mean do you get down on one knee still?

THE REASON I don't want to get an engagement ring yet is because I still have a year of college left and I don't want to get married until I have a steady job. HOWEVER, I do want to provide her with that form of security because I do love her and she's that type of girl that likes those things. I'll be going to Disney with her on December and we'll spend not only our anniversary there but new years as well, I mean, come on this is too perfect not to make something out of it.


NOW, ring prices. I have no idea what a decent ring looks like, I mean I don't want to buy a cheap ass looking ring neither a too expensive one. Something along the range $50 to $100 would be perfect. What qualities does a decent ring possess just so I know what to look for?

Thank you so much.
 
So you're asking about a promise ring? Pick something cheap online and just stop thinking about it. A promise ring is slightly more official than dating, but just step it up and get engaged man.
 
So you want to get her a ring to let her know that you'll eventually get her the ring that means you guys will eventually get married?

Either Hallmark has everybody bamboozled or I'm not ever getting married.
 
$50-$100? LOL. Save some cash and spend at least $500 for a decent ring.

Otherwise just buy a copy of New Super Mario Bros U and put that on her finger.
 
Skip the promise ring and get engaged. You've been dating 6 years now. I think she knows at this point that you're the one (and vice versa) I hope.

Price wise, what's your budget? I paid about $3900 for my fiancees engagement ring.
 
Skip the promise ring. I was in the same situation to you almost exactly. 5.5 years together, 1 year of school left. We got engaged and set the date for 2 years from then. 1 year to finish school, 1 year to get married after.
 
I agree, go ahead and get engaged. You've certainly been dating long enough, and just because you get engaged doesn't mean you have to get married right away. You can wait another 3 years if you want. Getting a promise ring after 6 years seems a little tacky, and the lead up to presenting it to her might throw her off given the circumstances, and could eventually cause a problem. So either spring for THE ring, or just give her something else in the aforementioned price range.

I finally proposed to my(now) wife last year after 5 years of dating, we're now married, and what do you know, it's not so bad. ;)
 
Yeah skip the promise ring and go for the engagement ring....although you might want to be old fashion and ask the parents permission first. You don't have to these days BUT you get shit loads of bonus points for asking their permission.
I was with my GF for 2 years before I asked her parents permission.. We got engaged in January of this year and got married in August...so within a year's time frame...any longer it's pushing it. Believe me there are plenty of rings to buy out there for under $1k so you don't need to break the bank.
I say the tricky part is her ring size................if she doesn't wear rings it could be hard........trying to get that sized is hard without setting off any alarms.

Good luck.
 
[quote name='perdition(troy']I agree with ITDEFX, you don't need to break the bank on a ring.[/QUOTE]


Oh yeah..forgot to mention, get the INSURANCE!
Believe me it's worth it!
 
Just get engaged. Promise rings are for high-school virgins with delusions of grandeur.

If you're serious about this girl, just get engaged. Hell, it's been six years, she could probably wait another year until you're done with school if you can't get an engagement ring by Christmas or whenever.
 
I think the pre-engagement ring might be confusing. She'll be excited about getting engaged, but then you'll have to tell her it's just a pre-engagement.
 
If I learned anything from the Simpsons it's that an onion ring is a sufficent engagement ring.

Promise ring? LOL.
 
If she's the girl that loves stuff you gotta spend much more than a hundred. Go for the engAgement and mAke it romantic as hell. Both are going to be equally important to her. I hope you guys have discussed marriage already. good luck and congrats.
 
When getting the engagement ring, if you don't know what she'd like best on her finger long-term, or don't have the cash now to put what she DESERVES on her finger now, some of the chain retailers offer a trade-up program on their diamonds.

One of them I can think of has a trade-in guarantee that they will give you 100% of your purchase price towards a bigger ring, as long as what you buy is at least twice as much.
 
Definitely skip the promise ring. That's for high schoolers or born again virgins. And I don't mean to say that in a demeaning way, but if you are out of high school and over the age of 18 you should be thinking engagement ring and that's it.

Put your money towards an engagement ring fund and get to saving. That way when you get that steady job (hopefully within a year right after your graduate) you can pop the question and get to planning/saving for a wedding.
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']Oh yeah..forgot to mention, get the INSURANCE!
Believe me it's worth it![/QUOTE]

Do this immediately. I carry a separate policy now for the ring. Runs me about $32 a year.
 
[quote name='CheapLikeAFox']Definitely skip the promise ring. That's for high schoolers or born again virgins. And I don't mean to say that in a demeaning way, but if you are out of high school and over the age of 18 you should be thinking engagement ring and that's it.

Put your money towards an engagement ring fund and get to saving. That way when you get that steady job (hopefully within a year right after your graduate) you can pop the question and get to planning/saving for a wedding.[/QUOTE]

I'm not so sure I'd endorse those as the only qualifications for engagement vs. promise ring(or whatever), most people around that age think they're ready to get married only to not be with the same person 6 months down the road. Not saying there's anything wrong with anyone who may have done this(It most certainly can work out, it varies by person), but if you're that young I HIGHLY suggest waiting another couple of years at least before taking any steps like that.

I just assumed the OP was older since it's been 6 years and they're going on vacation together. If you're still a teenager, I retract my previous advice.
 
With a year left in college, you must be at least 20. Ain't gonna lie: I'd date around before sealing off things. Let us say you're 20, you've been with your girlfriend since you were 14, and never had a chance to date around or explore opportunities. A lasting marriage is rare, these days, and I've rarely seen marriages work for those who do so when they're young. But hey, what the heck do I know, you two must be pretty compatible if you've been together for that long.

But yeah, skip the promise ring, junior. Ya have a job, right? Just buy an engagement ring and be done with it. It's not like it forces you straight into marriage and kids. It's just an engagement.
 
yeah man, skip the promise ring. they're cool in high school I guess but thats it. After 6 years together, its time to go for engagement if shes the one you want.
 
[quote name='mtxbass1']Do this immediately. I carry a separate policy now for the ring. Runs me about $32 a year.[/QUOTE]

Really? Rings at Zales carry a lifetime warranty that covers theft or losing it.
 
[quote name='ajh2298']Forget the ring and stick it in her pooper.[/QUOTE]

After seeing this, I'm actually quite surprised this didn't come up sooner. Over a whole page of serious responses... Well done, CAG, well done! :applause:
 
If at all possible, avoid Zales/Kay/Ben Bridge/etc. In other words, don't buy your ring at the mall. I went directly to the diamond district in LA and spent 1/3 of retail value by buying direct from the jeweler. Picked out the stone, picked out the band, and she loved it. I spent $1500, appraised at $4700...and insured for that amount as well.

If you can save some cash on the engagement ring, by all means. Lord knows you'll need it for the wedding.
 
Skip the promise ring and just do the engagement ring. I don't know how old you are but if you feel it is the right time start saving up for it, just don't rush into things. Of course I definitely don't rush. I've been dating my gf for about 9 years now.
 
If you were going to go with a promise ring, you probably aren't ready for an engagement.

A lot of shit can happen over the next year and the economy is still in the tank so depending on what field you want to go into, the land may still be barren when it comes to jobs. All that adds to stress on relationships and can cause things to go sour, even after 6, 7, 8 etc. years. Sadly very few things are "forever" even if you want them to be. But I hope you crazy kids make it.

Best of luck to you though.
 
[quote name='Chase']With a year left in college, you must be at least 20. Ain't gonna lie: I'd date around before sealing off things. Let us say you're 20, you've been with your girlfriend since you were 14, and never had a chance to date around or explore opportunities. A lasting marriage is rare, these days, and I've rarely seen marriages work for those who do so when they're young. But hey, what the heck do I know, you two must be pretty compatible if you've been together for that long.
[/QUOTE]

Agree with that. I got engaged to my high school sweetheart in college. Thankfully never got married before breaking up when I was in my first semester of grad school after 8 years of dating.

Everyone's different, but pretty much all the high school sweetheart couples I know that got married ended up divorced, as did a lot of couples that got together in college.

Just hard to settle down in your early, or even mid, twenties these days with career's starting later due to needing more degrees and various other things.

I dated around a good bit after breaking up with that first serious ex, then dated another girl for 6 years through grad school and a year or two after. It's not easy to find someone you can be really sure you want to spend your life with. I feel pretty confident that I'll marry my current girlfriend though as with her everything just works, we communicate well, we share almost everything in terms of values, beliefs, goals interests etc. as well as just having a ton of fun together, great sex etc. So definitely don't settle if you have less than that. And if you have all that, then maybe you're one of the lucky ones who can get married early and make it work.


As for rings, as with everyone else skip that promise ring nonsense and go straight for engagement if you're really ready for it.
 
Just go for an engagement ring. There's no rule that says you have to marry the chick you're engaged to. Besides, promise rings are for high school. I've known people who remained engaged for years before officially tying the knot. Some of which never married. In a way, it almost sounds like you truly have no desire to actually eventually marry this girl.

Also, where's the gratuitous "stick it in her pooper" post?!
 
[quote name='sgand']Forget the ring, and ask her to go steady next time you're at The Max.[/QUOTE]

:lol:......:applause:

Get that magician dude to pull it out of his fake flowers or something!
 
[quote name='sgand']Really? Rings at Zales carry a lifetime warranty that covers theft or losing it.[/QUOTE]

Zales is also one of the worst places to buy a ring.

Zales Lifetime Jewelry Protection Plan covers all jewelry bought at Zales, excluding watches. This service is non-transferable, and does not cover theft, mysterious disappearance, loss or damage other than that incurred in normal wear.

You also have to bring the ring in for cleaning and inspection regularly.
 
[quote name='mtxbass1']Zales is also one of the worst places to buy a ring.

Zales Lifetime Jewelry Protection Plan covers all jewelry bought at Zales, excluding watches. This service is non-transferable, and does not cover theft, mysterious disappearance, loss or damage other than that incurred in normal wear.

You also have to bring the ring in for cleaning and inspection regularly.[/QUOTE]

Every 6 months isn't bad. Only problem I have with them is that they send it out and it takes like 2 weeks since none of the repair people work in the store :(.
 
Just keep saving up money to buy her a real engagement ring when ready because for $50-100 your choice is a silver ring or electroplated gold one. However if you want to give your girl a ring before then you can easily make a 90% silver ring with some effort on your part. The technique can be found online to turn a U.S. silver quarter into a ring. The quarter must be dated 1964 or earlier as the composition turned to clad in 1965. The rings actually come out quite nice if you take your time making it and she'll feel special knowing you made it. I made my wife one from a quarter and my 5,4 year old daughters one from mercury dimes for the hell of it. Here's a picture of the work in progress on my wife's ring. I basically beat the quarters edge with a spoon for like a week straight and then drilled the middle out. This picture is shortly after drilling out the middle before I polished it and sanded down and smoothed the inside so that it fit my wife's finger. The words liberty, the date, United States of America and most of In god we trust are visible on the inside of the ring. My wife actually shows other women that when they ask about the ring because many don't believe it was made from a quarter. In fact my wife likes it so much she stopped wearing her $2500 engagement ring and just wears this one and her wedding ring. Although she still won't let me sell the dam engagement ring and make some money back off the gold content and diamonds lol. In fact if I had known she'd like this coin ring so much I would have never bought an engagement ring and saved myself the cash as silver quarters are like 6/7 dollars each currently.
SilverRing.jpg
 
Like every single other person in this thread said, don't do the promise ring thing. It's for...well...children.

Either go for the engagement ring, or, start saving for one.
 
Get on your knee. Tell her you want her forever. Tell her you want to get her a ring and that you will as soon as it is feasible. Tell her that you couldn't wait until that day to commit yourself to her. She will love it and understand.
 
[quote name='blissskr']Here's a picture of the work in progress on my wife's ring.[/QUOTE]

Wow! I'd never seen this before and instantly wanted to give it a try. I did a bit of research and digging around in the box of coins I inherited from my dad. (whoa shit I've got a lot of valuable coins?!?) and pulled out a '62 quarter and started beating it with a spoon. It's coming along nicely and my wife is super excited about it! She's already wanting me to make one for my daughter too. Thanks for posting this!

*edit* Oh - to make an on-topic comment - I agree with everyone else on foregoing the promise ring and either do the engagement ring or just wait. Most importantly - talk about engagement - a lot - and make sure you two are on the same page. I also agree with folks talking about insurance. I can also suggest going through an individual jeweler and not a chain - better quality stone and better deal all around in my opinion.
 
I just got engaged last year while I was in Brugge, Belgium. I bought a crappy $14 ring off amazon to do it. (Granted she got to pick her own ring when she got back) If money is tight there is no reason why the price of the ring should matter. If the other person won't be committed to you based on that, you're probably better off not being with them.

It never ceases to amaze me how much some women (ok, and probably men) care about a stupid stone of artificial worth. The price is diamonds is under control by the cartels and has no real reflection of the supply of diamonds in the world.
 
[quote name='Zoglog']I just got engaged last year while I was in Brugge, Belgium. I bought a crappy $14 ring off amazon to do it. (Granted she got to pick her own ring when she got back) If money is tight there is no reason why the price of the ring should matter. If the other person won't be committed to you based on that, you're probably better off not being with them.

It never ceases to amaze me how much some women (ok, and probably men) care about a stupid stone of artificial worth. The price is diamonds is under control by the cartels and has no real reflection of the supply of diamonds in the world.[/QUOTE]

This is a good idea. I did the same thing. She loved the idea of picking her own, and was happy i didn't spend a ton of money on a ring she hated!
 
[quote name='ajh2298']Forget the ring and stick it in her pooper.[/QUOTE]

This is probably the best advice in the entire thread.
 
I love these threads, I'd hate for people here to know what I spent on my wife's ring, there would be a revolt.

I agree though, skip a per-engagement ring. No point.

But I would echo most thoughts here. You are really young. That usually spells disaster.
 
I would skip the promise ring and go for a proper engagement too.

Also girls are pretty picky about accessories, so unless it is a ring with a pretty decent rock on it, (meaning the value of the rock surpasses the design) then it probably would be better to hold on to that money and get her an engagement ring later.
Sure it is superficial and shallow to worry about the price tag on a piece of carbon or whatever stone you choose, but at least it should be something she likes.
 
What is the purpose of calling a thread Engagement rings if you don't plan to get engaged?

Like others stated, don't bother with a promise ring.

If you were planning on wanting to marry her, why not go all in now. Who says you can't have a long engagement. Just because you are engaged doesn't mean you have to get married right away. Most girls expect 2x-3x a paycheck salary on the ring. You being in college right now, you can't be making all that much, which makes your ring that much cheaper without the girl expecting more. Granted in the long run, you might have to upgrade it. Just a thought...
 
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