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How to handle a breakup ?


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#1 iKilledChewbacca

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:25 PM

I know it may seem crazy that I am asking a lot of gamers this question, but I am just looking for any help.

My girlfriend of 7 months just ended it with me 2 nights ago, every since I am have been so freaking depressed and just dont know what I am doing. I am having trouble sleeping, just very easily put in a down mood.

Not only has that happened, but I also chose to quit smoking 3 days before we broke up and it just hasnt been easy on me.

What are some ways that I can handle this ? Oh and btw me and her work at the same place and are constantly in the same room and stuff. Should I put in my 2 weeks notice ? It hurts me just seeing her.

It wasnt a terribly bad breakup, she just didnt think that it could work out. (she said that she kept trying to imagine a future in her head, and it just never appeared), she wasnt happy with our relationship and I am thankful in some way that she let me know that.

PLEASE ANYTHING THAT CAN HELP, THROW IT AT ME :

#2 MisterModest

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:29 PM

Improve your pussy eating skills?

#3 KillerSmokey24

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:30 PM

I know what your going through me and my ex were dating for 3 years and it just suddenly ended. To be honest I found out the best thing for me to do is keep myself occupied and busy a lot of the time. I hangout with my family and friends as much as I can. Sure some times I will get sad thinking about it but I have had plenty of girls flirting with me and talking to me so it puts me at ease with the whole she was the only one view on things. Hope I helped some how good luck!

#4 iKilledChewbacca

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:32 PM

Improve your pussy eating skills?


Dude, please...dont be like that.

#5 jr233270

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:43 PM

I was with someone for 7 years and it came to an abrupt end. I found that keeping myself busy, as KillerSmokey24 said, helped a lot. Also, find a new hobby. Doing things that you did when you were with her will not help. Maybe take an interest in cooking, or going to museums. Just getting out of your house and doing something different will help. And who knows? Maybe you'll meet some new friends trying out some new activities.

Good luck, OP.


Edit: One last thing: ignore people like "MisterModest" - that's a real dick move by him

#6 iKilledChewbacca

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:01 PM

Thank you KillerSmokey24, and jr233270. I suppose I can find a new hobby. I've always wanted to get into fishing haha, I just dont know if that would help. Maybe though

#7 4thHorseman

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:08 PM

Thank you KillerSmokey24, and jr233270. I suppose I can find a new hobby. I've always wanted to get into fishing haha, I just dont know if that would help. Maybe though


I would say no to fishing unless you have friends with you. While I enjoy fishing, its also a hobby where if the fish arent biting, and nobody to talk to, theres a lot of thinking time. And there is probably one thing that will find its way into your mind...

Really, there are only three things to do especially since you work together. You can quit or get back together, but those probably arent the best things to do. As hard as it is, just hang in there until you get over her. But its always easier if you can get in another relationship that you like, because once you do, theres a chance you wont care because you moved on.

#8 dmaul1114

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:29 PM

Yep, just keep busy. Hang out with family and friends, make more time for hobbies you enjoy. Just need to keep your mind off of things until you get over it.

If you live away from friends/family, then look into social things to do locally. Meetup.com groups for hobbies you enjoy etc.

#9 Strell

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:40 PM

Obtain Kitkat bar.
Walk into place crowded with hunnies.
Offer them to break off a piece of your Kitkat bar.
First taker = new girlfriend.

Otherwise, as others mention, keep yourself busy. Fill all of your available time with activities. Preferably, make them productive. Learn a new skill. Hopefully it's something that interests you so it doesn't end up boring. It's also really helpful to do physically demanding stuff, since you can generally release endorphins and cheer yourself up naturally.

7 months is nothing in relationship time. I say this not out of malice but out of "it's not as bad as you might think it is, and you'll look back on it and laugh/shrug really soon."


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#10 CaseyRyback

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:46 PM

Did you ever stick it in her pooper?

#11 n8rockerasu

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:53 PM

Did you ever stick it in her pooper?


From a mod? Now that's just uncalled for. You can't even call him a cool guy

EDIT - Hey, my post got changed! That's not what I said! I said you can't call him a hilarious dude

EDIT 2 - Casey, stop! Seriously man!

;)

#12 CaseyRyback

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:20 PM

From a mod? Now that's just uncalled for. You can't even call him a cool guy

EDIT - Hey, my post got changed! That's not what I said! I said you can't call him a hilarious dude

EDIT 2 - Casey, stop! Seriously man!

;)


I've been highly disappointed that no one gets asked that anymore. Figured someone needed to bring it back.

#13 Mixer23

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:26 PM

Did you ever stick it in her pooper?


Opened up this thread to specifically see if someone had said this... CAG never fails to disappoint.

As others have mentioned, keep yourself busy and most importantly, try to spend lots of time with friends. You'll probably get over this sooner than you may think, and I recommend not leaving your job as that could be seen as running away from your problems. Just try to grin and bear it, as it may actually benefit you to go through it this way. Like they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

At any rate, good luck OP!

The articles I read seem to conjure up these images of Capcom executives sitting in a dark room with a cauldron and cackling about how no one will be able to buy this game used.


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#14 finalrodzilla

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:49 PM

Since you're on CAG I'm sure you have a backlog! Start there... Myself I would look to God and realize that losing this girl is not the end bro, work on yourself quit the smoking and then hit the streets for a better chick!

#15 mrspicytacoman

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:53 PM




Not exactly the end of the world is it?
get a new one and get over it

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#16 Lieutenant Dan

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:21 AM

Did you ever stick it in her pooper?


Glad to see someone already asked the most pertinent question. Inquiring minds want to know! :)

#17 keithp

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 03:24 AM

Hit the gym harder. Physical exercise will help, and it'll get you ready for the next girl.

#18 Kylearan

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 04:25 AM

Some good advice already here, OP - I may repeat a lot of it, but that'll (hopefully) reinforce what others have said.

First off, if quitting smoking at the same time is too much, put that on hold for a little while. A man needs some vices. I don't condone or recommend smoking, but sometimes too much is too much, and it's good to recognize when that is.

Of course, if you ditch the smoking now and stick with it...hell, talk about some kickass willpower. Can be proud of that. Nothing like personal power to overcome rejection.

You're single now, so it's time to concentrate on numero uno: you. And the best way to do that is to do the things you enjoy doing, whatever those things are. Or most especially to do the things you stopped doing or wanted to but didn't do, because you were with her. (Try as we all might to keep this from happening, it happens.)

Exercise is a fantastic option.

Anything artistic is, too, whether it's writing, drawing, singing, it doesn't matter.

Getting out every day is advisable - the more isolated you are, the more isolated and alone you'll feel and become.

Take a book, your computer or tablet to a nearby coffee shop or diner and plump yourself down for an hour or two, even if you're by yourself. Doesn't matter - you're out! And you'll have opportunities to interact with people. (Leave the headphones at home, or at least don't wear them the entire time.)

Invite your friends out and/or visit them. Same with family.

Then, take some well-earned alone time when you need it.

Your mind will stray to her, especially if you see her every day. But if you're concentrating on yourself and your needs, you'll be better grounded to handle seeing her. Accept that you're going to see her. Accept her decision. You don't have to like it or agree with it, but accept it, breath and get on with your life.

Above all, for your own sense of pride, don't go all sad-puppy-face when you see her, on your insides or out. Keep firm. She made her decision. You might even say she lacks imagination. Too bad for her. You're a good catch, right? She's giving you a gift, letting you go. Find someone better for YOU. (Obviously it's not her.)

If you decide to leave your job, make sure you secure another one before leaving.

And word of advice: don't date anyone at work again. While there are exceptions, it's generally a no-no for the very situation you're in now.

Good luck! It'll pass eventually.

#19 KtMack23

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 04:27 AM

I echo the gym sentiment. Hit the gym, put on some kickass tunes, and I guarantee you'll feel better.

#20 iKilledChewbacca

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 04:49 AM

No I never stuck it in the pooper...attempted but just couldnt. Now lets go on....

I went over to my brothers house today (I dont see him that often), I told him about everything and he just said "I got something just for you bro"...He headed upstairs and I followed. He had just bought a brand new workout machine that had a few nicks and nacks missing (yardsale) and he gave it to me :D

We spent the next 4 hours pumping weights, man was it treacherous. BUT now I feel very lifted in a sence....maybe because I haven't touched a dumbbell in over 3 years...haha.

I really do want to thank EVERYONE who has given positive thoughts, It really does mean a lot that other people care about completely random others who are having trouble.

I know I still got a while to go before I can even start getting over her, but I believe it will happen.

#21 advanced

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 04:49 AM

I wouldn't quit your job unless you have a new one right away, especially in this economy.

As for how to deal with it, get active and try to hang out with other people. Being alone after a break up isn't a good idea, so try to fill your time with something. At the end of the day though, be thankful that this happened at 7 months and not at 7 years.

#22 Hybrid5006

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:38 AM

Listen to "The Joe Rogan Experience" podcasts + kettlebells.

#23 usickenme

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 06:04 AM

never listen to Joe Rogan..ever.

But working out is a great idea. I got back into running after a breakup.

When I got the ol' heave ho, I watched a lot of simpsons. Even in the depths, they always made me laugh. Find something that will do that for you.

#24 Predator21281

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 07:00 AM

I will say a couple things you shouldn't do.
Do not
  • Listen to The Cure
  • Try to talk to her for a while unless necessary
  • Oversleep
  • Get down on yourself.
  • Get inebriated by yourself
Just be yourself and try to better yourself. Working out helps a lot and will help you quit smoking too. Also, try to get laid. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so dangle your worm out and see who bites. You'll feel a million times better if you do, and if you don't, well the attention you'll get from women will make you feel better too.
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#25 StryderOmega

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 07:06 AM

What I have done:

Wallow in misery for 2 days then start going to parties.

Get shit faced

Experience new shit

Get laid a lot lol

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#26 iKilledChewbacca

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 08:17 AM

I know this question may sound somewhat odd....but she was really into Sons of Anarchy and she got me hooked. Would watching that without her be hard on me ? Or just varies by person.

and yes that was a serious question.

#27 Friend of Sonic

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 08:41 AM

I was with my first girlfriend for five years, but then it ended. It was tough. The first year was rough, with a ton of ups and downs, and I was often deeply depressed. I finally got my mind on other things, like trying to buy a house, and working out (which clinically speaking, is probably a good natural way to stave off the blues with the endorphins and what not) and I feel pretty good.

If you loved her, and she was your first love, then your thoughts on it will never go away completely. You'll just be able to function like a human being, which does entail dating and such-- hopefully fairly quickly, as it was seven months.

EDIT: Just saw your other post. Watching Star Trek: TNG was impossible for me for at least a year. I got her hooked on the show. During the down times, it just made me feel more down and exacerbated my pain because it reminded me of the good times I had with her. But I'm back to watching it. I think that sort of thing just depends on the mood, so you just have to progress normally- when the oven feels hot, don't touch it. Get rid of all evidence of her in your life, including Sons of Anarchy, and when you feel resolved, it'll be a lot easier to be around that stuff.
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#28 MisterModest

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 08:42 AM

Dude, please...dont be like that.

No seriously, if you were good at eating her pussy, and I mean real good at eating her pussy, she wouldn't have dumped you.

#29 Arakias

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:46 PM

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#30 The Great Muta

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:45 PM

I ...



Every time I see your name, I think you're this dude.




Oh, and Chewbacca, it's a lot more difficult when your lives are more intertwined. Just be glad that it's seven months and not seven years. People change. It happens. No sense in dwelling on the past. Choosing to feel depressed will only make you feel worse. Find something to do in the meanwhile, and get back on the horse. Everyone, at some point in their life, steps in shit. You either stop and feel sorry for yourself, or shake it off and continue your stride.