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How to handle a breakup ?


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#31 EdRyder

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:56 PM

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Love this. Thats the best advice you're gonna get. All the extra effort you were putting in the relationship: Put it back into you

#32 Yamato

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 06:49 PM

Every time I see your name, I think you're this dude.





HAHAHAHA who are these guys? this is hilarious

#33 HumanSnatcher

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:19 PM

Pretty much echo what everyone else is saying about throwing yourself into some form of activity. I myself am kind of on the verge of a break up with my "boyfriend". I use quotation marks in that I have no idea what the hell we are. Its been 5 years since we last seen each other, all his profiles say "single", and in one instance saying that "friends with benefits arrangements welcome". After putting my life on hold for 5 years waiting for him, I'm not expecting things to get any better anytime soon and just putting distance between me and him. Ironically, around the time I started giving all this serious consideration (about a month ago), I finally started talking to a guy that I've been interested in for a long time but could never get the nerve. I'm hoping that that may turn into something.

As one guy said, be glad it was seven months and not seven years. Honestly, I've learned over the years that if its only been a few months then its not worth getting so overly upset over. If its years and you pour your heart into the relationship, then yeah, its gonna hurt. And hurt bad. Believe me, been there, done that, got the T shirt...

When I was in High School a friend got a 100% on a D.A.R.E. test and they gave him a D.A.R.E. duffel bag. Two years later, a drug dealer that was a friend of ours at the time asked to borrow something to transport 2kg of cocaine in and he handed over his D.A.R.E. bag. He brought it back to him with an oz of weed in it as a thank you.



#34 HumanSnatcher

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:26 PM

I will say a couple things you shouldn't do.
Do not

  • Listen to The Cure
  • Try to talk to her for a while unless necessary
  • Oversleep
  • Get down on yourself.
  • Get inebriated by yourself
Just be yourself and try to better yourself. Working out helps a lot and will help you quit smoking too. Also, try to get laid. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so dangle your worm out and see who bites. You'll feel a million times better if you do, and if you don't, well the attention you'll get from women will make you feel better too.


Stay VERY far away from their album Disintegration!

When I was in High School a friend got a 100% on a D.A.R.E. test and they gave him a D.A.R.E. duffel bag. Two years later, a drug dealer that was a friend of ours at the time asked to borrow something to transport 2kg of cocaine in and he handed over his D.A.R.E. bag. He brought it back to him with an oz of weed in it as a thank you.



#35 tylerh1701

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:26 PM

I know this question may sound somewhat odd....but she was really into Sons of Anarchy and she got me hooked. Would watching that without her be hard on me ? Or just varies by person.

and yes that was a serious question.


Pretty much echo what most others have said her, the only bad thing to do is NOTHING. Don't sit, dwell, worry, or think about what you could have done. Literally do ANYTHING else, it will help get your mind off of her and that "I wish she was here doing this with me" feeling will eventually wear off.

As for your question about Sons of Anarchy, don't do that to yourself. If there's a special park, or super special restaurant that you two shared good times at, that's understandable. But don't turn every TV show, movie, game, book, or [INSERT NOUN HERE] into a battle scar. If you like Sons of Anarchy, watch it and enjoy it, and use it to forget about her instead of remember her. (as an aside, when my brother broke up with his g/f for good, he refused to go to the south end of the valley "because that's where she lives" and it was "just too hard for him". Please don't do things like that, or if you do, keep them secret. Those are the types of things that make people go from sympathizing you to start thinking that you're acting pathetic).

As for work, that's up to you. I'd definitely recommend looking for a new job before quitting this one, don't just up-and-quit. Also, don't date people you work with on a day to day basis. (I know this is hindsight now, but I can't stress how important this is for future relationships).

Finally, remember that your friends and family are there to sympathize with you and will be there for you. For a while. For a 7 month relationship, I'd say they'll give you a good 1-2 months of sympathy and help. But after a while, if you keep leaning on them, crying and venting to them, they will get tired of it. And it will certainly alienate your relationships with them. Make sure to show them signs that you're working on getting better, if you don't show that attitude to them, they will start getting frustrated and annoyed with you.

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#36 Calipso

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:15 AM

I recommend going on 4chan, posting your thread on /b/ and await helpful and caring responses.
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#37 Kendro

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 03:44 AM

You'll get over it. Unfortunately the only thing that heals the pain is time. Fortunately for you, nothing stops father time so eventually you will get over it.

No amount of convincing yourself that you don't need her or keeping yourself preoccupied will really help all that much. If you wanna cry, cry. If you get depressed, let yourself be sad. It will blow over though.

#38 urmomlikesme

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 04:22 AM

never listen to Joe Rogan..ever.


A little off topic but why? If you don't mind me asking. I rather enjoy his podcast.

As for the OP I can't really help. I am TERRIBLE at relationships. When I am in them, I either think I can do better or she's cheating on me. My longest relationship was about three to five months. I have one about every two years. Don't get me wrong I've banged plenty of women (more then 5!) and have had random hookups. But as others were saying, keep yourself busy. I think the best advice is "Nothing get's you over the last one like the next one". I find this so true even if you're not dating the new one just thinking about how you're going to conquer her will get you over what's her face ;)
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#39 gareman

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 04:40 AM

Reevaluate yourself. Discover who you are without another person in your life. I broke up with the love of my life after 5 years, and I had a delayed heartbreak after I realized she was the one. I have only dated one girl since her and have been single a vast majority of the time, and while it has been the most difficult and depressing time in my life I have taken the time to learn who I was and what I wanted and how to appreciate love when it comes back into my life. Take this as a chance to improve yourself for yourself and for the next women that comes along.
I also recorded an album and buried myself in music. That has helped a lot not only with understanding myself, but also giving me confidence. So like others suggested get into a new hobby.
As far as things you did together, Im not sure. I can watch some shows no problem, but other shows or certain episodes can make me a weeping baby and want to flip it off.
Like someone else said, if you really loved her another thing you need to do is accept that you will never stop thinking about her. Like I said its been over 2 and half years, and I still think about her. Although, I have learned to control it and thru all of this just know that you will become a better person for it. Never let it beat you, but it is ok to be sad and depressed.

#40 usickenme

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 04:45 AM

eh, just never liked him (except maybe on newsradio in small doses)

I'm curious what is the facebook etiquette these days on break up? All mine were in the stone ages.

Like someone else said, if you really loved her another thing you need to do is accept that you will never stop thinking about her. Like I said its been over 2 and half years, and I still think about her. Although, I have learned to control it and thru all of this just know that you will become a better person for it. Never let it beat you, but it is ok to be sad and depressed.


Hell yes. Remember, there are just some doors you gotta walk through alone

#41 StryderOmega

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:55 AM

Well I still watch shows I have watched with exes, but that all depends on you if it affects you. No need to deprive yourself of something you had enjoyed just because someone broke your heart.

Get the ball rolling, and live your life! You just need to get in the mindset of "Screw her! I need to do me!"

I am currently in a relationship right now, but yeah curiosity brings me back to see what the exes are up to. But you know what? The new relationship is much better than the ones I had, and me looking up to see how it's going in their lives just makes me feel better. (Admittedly that I have a more accomplishing life than they do, haha)

I know evil, but once you get into the mindset, it becomes a lot easier to move on.

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#42 seanr1221

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 07:10 AM

7 months is nothing, and I mean this in the nicest way, it's a little pathetic it has you down.

Enjoy the single life. Take up a new hobby, go meet new people, do things. You'll forget about her quickly.

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#43 humancondition

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 07:31 AM

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lol or read this. It'll help

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#44 humancondition

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 07:36 AM

On a serious note. Yeah it sucks, but you'll get over her eventually. Easiest way is to find someone else. You kinda have to be pissed, forget her. The more you ignore her the more power you'll have. By all means do not contact her or wallow and listen to sad music.

Just try and suck it up, toughen up, move on and try to get back on the happy track. You may surprise yourself how fast you can move on, I was in a ten year relationship I was surprised how quickly I got over it (about 5 months...the first 2 sucked ass), I just realized I had to stop being such a puss (sounds harsh, but its true), threw crap that reminded me of her out, and tried something new (tried Krav Maga, Catch Wrestling and Thai Kickboxing which really helped gave me back my confidence). Forget her, have a beer, hang with friends, find a hobby, treat yourself right and eventually you'll meet someone else. There are over 3 1/2 billion women on the planet, she's just one. Your chances are good on meeting someone else.

Edited by humancondition, 07 December 2012 - 07:52 AM.


#45 fatmanforlife99

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:30 PM

Improve your pussy eating skills?


Like this?

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There are those who said this day would never come. What are they to say now?

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#46 Logg

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:49 PM

Booze and GlassJAw

Always the right choice

#47 slidecage

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:40 PM

From a mod? Now that's just uncalled for. You can't even call him a cool guy

EDIT - Hey, my post got changed! That's not what I said! I said you can't call him a hilarious dude

EDIT 2 - Casey, stop! Seriously man!

;)


just shows how far this site has fallen...

i say go out with your friends to bars and nightclubs dont be afraid to put yourself out their thinking your going to get hurt again cause you probally will... just do your best to try to move on
WOOOO I STINK

#48 irideabike

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:25 PM

It was only 7 months amigo, you'll get over her quickly. I haven't had a breakup since high school so my only advice is don't hang out by her locker anymore and you should probably eat at a different lunch table. Oh, and if one of her friends calls to ask about how you are doing and what you think about her (either herself or your ex) it is probably a three way call so be careful with what you say.

There are no shortcuts. No do-overs. What happened, happened. Trust me. I know. All of this matters.

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#49 Javery

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:34 PM

7 months? Damn. That is such a small part of your life - unless you are a baby. You're not a baby are you? No, that's silly, babies can't type... or can they? Maybe you are a really gifted typing baby? OMG. I'm locking my door.

Dude, I dated some girl for 3 years way back and she dumped me out of the blue and I can barely remember anything about her. I'm pretty sure she was a bitch though. This was before the internet and social networking and the realization that there a TONS of girls out there. TONS. Stop crying about it, think of all the ass out there waiting for you and go get some.

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#50 iKilledChewbacca

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 07:55 PM

Well guys so far so good, I got my job to change up my schedule, I will only be working with her one day a week instead of seven.

I am still doing the workouts, and they seem to help.

I also hate to admit this....but I finally got my GED and I believe I am going to put myself through a community college so hopefully more jobs will become available.

I am noticing all the people saying "It was only 7 months, grow a pair" and I am actually somewhat understanding that, I am only 20, yeah she might have been my first love and I know I wont ever truly forget her....But I need to just grow the Fuck up. Get over it.

I dont know if its because we are seperated now or what, but my thoughts are bring back so many flaws in the relationship....She hated me on my xbox for even more than 30 minutes, what the hell is 30 minutes doing something I really enjoy going to really bother her ? Fuck that, she hated when I would drink occasionally (understandable because I am only 20 I guess ?) but I was NEVER an angry drunk, it actually put me in a great laughing mood that I guess she couldnt realize, and I also hit the bongs occasionally and she definitely hated that.

I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT NOW !!!

#51 gareman

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:04 PM

Call some friends, grab some beer, hit the bong. Sounds like your only problem now is finding a good multi-player game.

#52 metaphysicalstyles

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    Boo this man.

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:28 PM

Beat up some new poon. It will rebuild your confidence. If you have trouble finding new poon, your community college plan will give it to you hand over fist.
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#53 Gurren Lagann

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 09:31 PM

You put on some Brooke and Dunn- Neon Moon and you make you some whiskey and diet coke drink
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#54 AvengedBacklog

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 11:11 PM

Well guys so far so good, I got my job to change up my schedule, I will only be working with her one day a week instead of seven.

I am still doing the workouts, and they seem to help.

I also hate to admit this....but I finally got my GED and I believe I am going to put myself through a community college so hopefully more jobs will become available.

I am noticing all the people saying "It was only 7 months, grow a pair" and I am actually somewhat understanding that, I am only 20, yeah she might have been my first love and I know I wont ever truly forget her....But I need to just grow the Fuck up. Get over it.

I dont know if its because we are seperated now or what, but my thoughts are bring back so many flaws in the relationship....She hated me on my xbox for even more than 30 minutes, what the hell is 30 minutes doing something I really enjoy going to really bother her ? Fuck that, she hated when I would drink occasionally (understandable because I am only 20 I guess ?) but I was NEVER an angry drunk, it actually put me in a great laughing mood that I guess she couldnt realize, and I also hit the bongs occasionally and she definitely hated that.

I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT NOW !!!


Glad to hear you're doing better man. I'm 22 and your story reminds of my ex when I was 18....she was my first love too but we really weren't compatible at all. I've now been in a relationship for almost 2 years and we have such a better connection....you'll find one too. If you're planning on community college then definitely talk to some of the girls in classes, they may actually surprise you :)

#55 Angie7F

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Posted 08 December 2012 - 01:11 PM

I say go out looking for a rebound.
Only new love can overwrite a broken heart.

#56 dmaul1114

dmaul1114

Posted 08 December 2012 - 03:01 PM

You're only 20. You got a lot of living and learning to do before thinking about settling down long term anyway.

Enjoy friends, date around, experience things.

#57 StryderOmega

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Posted 08 December 2012 - 03:12 PM

I say go out looking for a rebound.
Only new love can overwrite a broken heart.


On this note, don't date every vagina you see. It is dumb to do that and isn't worth the time. Sometimes sex is just sex.

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#58 Confucius

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Posted 08 December 2012 - 03:41 PM

Did you ever stick it in her pooper?


Came in just to see how long it took for this question.

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Also, did she break up with you because you're in trading time out?

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#59 Jodou

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Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:39 PM

I am noticing all the people saying "It was only 7 months, grow a pair" and I am actually somewhat understanding that, I am only 20, yeah she might have been my first love and I know I wont ever truly forget her....But I need to just grow the Fuck up. Get over it.

I dont know if its because we are seperated now or what, but my thoughts are bring back so many flaws in the relationship....She hated me on my xbox for even more than 30 minutes, what the hell is 30 minutes doing something I really enjoy going to really bother her ? Fuck that, she hated when I would drink occasionally (understandable because I am only 20 I guess ?) but I was NEVER an angry drunk, it actually put me in a great laughing mood that I guess she couldnt realize, and I also hit the bongs occasionally and she definitely hated that.

I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT NOW !!!

Eh, don't sweat it. Everyone feels like a bitch coming out of a relationship, because it's rough and time is the only medicine. It's also much harder to cope when you're younger because of inexperience. I would also never date a girl that doesn't like to drink, regardless of age. As long as you don't drink to get drunk, drinking is quite possibly one of the best ways to unwind with the opposite sex (well, other than sex ;)).

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#60 Hybrid5006

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Posted 08 December 2012 - 04:51 PM

eh, just never liked him (except maybe on newsradio in small doses)


Lol... that's the worst reason possible