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Worst Video Game Article


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#31 R. Kasahara

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Posted 31 December 2012 - 02:19 AM

Yeah, see, there's a reason why Spokker's on my ignore list :-P
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#32 moon_knight

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Posted 31 December 2012 - 02:22 AM

Yay the good ol' video games are sexist discussion.



#33 iamsmart

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Posted 31 December 2012 - 02:50 AM

Yay the good ol' video games are sexist discussion.


Well, the original topic was fun while it lasted...

#34 The Crotch

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Posted 31 December 2012 - 03:01 AM

I'm a pretty ignorant human being, Mr. Terminator. I can't do much to guide you in life. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that you should abandon this conversation.

The Good Lord, see, has provided us with a multitude of mysteries with regards to the hearts and minds of our fellow men. We are possessed of great virtue and harsh devilry and all possible permutations and combinations thereof. Oftentimes you can look at a man and, out the corner of your eye, see that he is imbued with some ineffable purpose, y'know? Maybe there's a song the world just needs him to write. Maybe there's a disease he's been put here to cure. Sometimes there's a man he's just got to kill. I couldn't tell you the reason the Lord saw fit to make His people this way, but it is not mine to reason why.

I say all this because: sometimes - and I posit to you that we have run in to just such a case right here - God puts a man on this Earth of ours with the sole purpose of being Wrong on the Internet.

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#35 Spokker

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Posted 31 December 2012 - 05:10 AM

I love to post.

#36 sdoxas

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Posted 31 December 2012 - 05:51 AM

I imagine you're familiar the fox news segment on Mass Effect.

#37 Algertman

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Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:52 PM

Mass Effect 3 chaos. It really showed just how much of a PR mouth piece the gaming press is for publishers and developers.

Any article about feminism and videogames was horrible.

#38 metaphysicalstyles

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Posted 31 December 2012 - 02:17 PM

+1 for any article appearing on Kotaku.
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#39 camoor

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Posted 31 December 2012 - 04:42 PM

Yay the good ol' video games are sexist discussion.


Yeah, when someone has a political axe to grind that's a whole different discussion.

I was really just asking for articles about videogames written by a reviewer who is clueless about videogames. To me, those articles are hilarious.

Stuff like this article about the top ten videogames of 2012 - where the winners include "Draw Something" and "Watch Dogs" (which isn't even out yet)

#40 R. Kasahara

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Posted 31 December 2012 - 09:43 PM

I was really just asking for articles about videogames written by a reviewer who is clueless about videogames. To me, those articles are hilarious.

Stuff like this article about the top ten videogames of 2012 - where the winners include "Draw Something" and "Watch Dogs" (which isn't even out yet)

I believe that particular article is supposed to be funny, given that it's on Cracked.com.

As for genuinely bad articles, I'm sure I could dig some up, but I don't pay too much attention to them. Just shake my head and try to forget about them. Good articles on the other hand... I have a folder full of bookmarks just for those.
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#41 Rodimus

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Posted 01 January 2013 - 09:41 PM

I imagine you're familiar the fox news segment on Mass Effect.


Do you mean Star Wars meets Debbie does Dallas

#42 Ryuukishi

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:56 PM

Do you mean Star Wars meets Debbie does Dallas

I think he means that Virtual Orgasmic Rape simulator.

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#43 Mr Unoriginal

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 04:04 PM

I think he means that Virtual Orgasmic Rape simulator.


I love RapeLay.

Its too bad you're still a prick with a stupid gimmick.


#44 Ryuukishi

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 04:38 PM

Any and every review written by Jim Sterling over on Destructoid.


I like Sterling. He knows he's a cartoon character and he plays it up for entertainment. I'd rather read a hundred articles like this than the drunken dorm-room philosophizing that Kotaku tries to spin into serious statements about the human condition, like a Very Special Episode of some brain-dead '80s sitcom.

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#45 leveskikesko

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 01:43 AM

Pretty much this. People forget that it is still a business, not a charity.

Go buy 100 copies of Mirror's Edge at full price and make sure you get 100 more people to do the same if you want things to change. Vote with your wallet, not your whining on the interwebz.

For the record, I own and enjoyed both Bayonetta and Mirror's Edge (which was far too short IMO).


I don't understand why it's okay to whine about graphical or writing issues, but not something as serious as the dehumanization of women in media. If I simply insist on not purchasing a game, the game company won't magically know that I'm doing it because it's sexist, thus awareness campaigns or sexism articles are essential in addition to voting with your wallet.

I honestly would've bought Bayonetta new, if the game had a much less obnoxiously designed main character. I bought Mirror's Edge new at a high price, partly because it was a positive portrayal of women in games.

Nor is the video game industry sexist against women. Both industries have a target demographic and market their products in such a way that will be attractive to that demographic.


The average "hardcore" gamer is probably an adult male in his early 30s, not a teenage boy, so why shouldn't the industry reflect this? Speaking as an adult "harcore" male gamer, I don't enjoy or support games that dehumanize women. Even if you have no concern for the self-esteem of women, the male gaze placed in so many games is patronizing and distracting to the straight and bisexual men who care mostly about gameplay. It's also just embarrassing to play certain games around your partner, wife, sister, female friend, mother, or other women.

They complain about these things on tumblr but no one really listens.


http://www.forbes.co...eds-the-trolls/

http://www.gamasutra...men_or_boys.php

http://www.themarysu...r-announcement/

http://www.gamepolit...ou-lifetime-ban

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Edited by leveskikesko, 03 January 2013 - 07:41 AM.

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#46 The Crotch

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 01:53 AM

Don't you try and stop a man from doing God's work, Leves.

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#47 Rozz

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 02:52 AM

I don't understand why it's okay to whine about graphical or writing issues, but not something as serious as the dehumanization of women in media. If I simply insist on not purchasing a game, the game company won't magically know that I'm doing it because it's sexist, thus awareness campaigns or sexism articles are essential in addition to voting with your wallet.


It's not just that, these wannabe modern internet feminists whine about everything. Anita Sarkeesian even bitched and whined about Christmas-themed music (such as Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You") being sexist. :roll: Pretty hard to take them seriously when they pull shit like that.

And the reason I posted the Bayonetta video is because the video was such a piece of poorly-researched shit that even she took it down. She has an excellent presentation to her videos (and I wouldn't mind boning her) but other than that the actual content makes my head hurt.

#48 roundhouse

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:00 PM

Pretty sure this Borderlands 2 review from the Wall Street Journal is the worst video game article ever written.

http://blogs.wsj.com...s-to-cross-ove/

My favorite part is where he says that he had to go on Wikipedia so he could remember all of the "intricate twists and turns" of the Borderlands plot. I guess the fact that a game that had a nonexistent plot was too confusing for him explains a lot. And also this:

Borderlands 2’s single-player campaign mode isn’t as good as what you’ll find in games like COD: Black Ops or the Medal of Honor series.

As a $30 impulse buy, priced about the same as games like “NASCAR Unleashed,” I wouldn’t have a problem recommending Borderlands 2 as a fun diversion. At twice that price, though, I think it’s fair for players to demand the whole magilla –


At first it made me so angry that this guy gets paid to write this crap, and that there are undoubtably people out there that think he knows what he's talking about, but then I couldn't stop laughing at how out of touch he is with gaming. The best part of all is that the review has nearly 5000 comments from people ripping this idiot apart.
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#49 bardockkun

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Posted 07 January 2013 - 07:06 AM

Pretty sure this Borderlands 2 review from the Wall Street Journal is the worst video game article ever written.

http://blogs.wsj.com...s-to-cross-ove/

First time I actually went through and read it. Wow, that review really is as bad as everyone says it is.
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#50 Ryuukishi

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Posted 07 January 2013 - 12:26 PM

Holy cow, that is bad. The multiplayer mode is "extremely limited," at least in comparison to what he "read" about Black Ops 2. Wow.

Also several comments about the "gratuitous cussing" and how Claptrap is so "profane." This guy's head would explode if he actually tried playing COD and Medal of Honor instead of just reading about how many teams they have in multiplayer.

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#51 R. Kasahara

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Posted 07 January 2013 - 02:58 PM

I honestly would've bought Bayonetta new, if the game had a much less obnoxiously designed main character.

A feminist acquaintance of mine loved Bayonetta. I did, too-- so much so that I imported the soundtrack and have the English version of the artbook on preorder.

Bayonetta is a perfect counterpart to one of the creator's previous characters (Dante from Devil May Cry), plus the game itself is oozing with fun and Sega love. On top of that, it's impossible for Bayonetta to be anything other than female (thanks to her actions, style, and personality), which can't be said for so many other women heroes in games. That in itself is really cool.

And here I link a good article about the game. It's by Leigh Alexander, who's normally hit or miss with me, but this is one of the hits - http://web.archive.o...r-exploitative/
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#52 Spokker

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Posted 08 January 2013 - 01:15 AM

The average "hardcore" gamer is probably an adult male in his early 30s, not a teenage boy, so why shouldn't the industry reflect this?


It does. This is why games feature a lot of military (all eras) themes, vehicle themes, complex interfaces where you can get under the hood and tinker and see how things work. This is why there is a lot of killing and mayhem. That games are marketed mostly to men does not only mean they are filled with sex appeal, but also a lot of other themes men like, like violence, political intrigue, and sometimes spreadsheets filled with numbers and statistics. Last I checked, Forza did not have any people in it so there are no women to dehumanize. Yet the demographic for that type of game is still massively disproportionately male. Is there something wrong with saying this? Is there something wrong with saying that these types of games should refrain from trying to appeal to women because it would fundamentally change what actually makes them attractive to the men who play them?

Speaking as an adult "harcore" male gamer, I don't enjoy or support games that dehumanize women.

With such hyperbole displayed here, I wonder what kind of vocabulary is left to use for when the actual dehumanizing starts.

Even if you have no concern for the self-esteem of women, the male gaze placed in so many games is patronizing and distracting to the straight and bisexual men who care mostly about gameplay.

You don't care mostly about gameplay. You paid a premium for Mirror's Edge, a first-person platformer (quite a shitty combination) because you're an activist first and a gamer second. And how can you call yourself a Cheap Ass Gamer when you pay a premium for any reason? I got that game for free when EA screwed up their Origin sale.

It's also just embarrassing to play certain games around your partner, wife, sister, female friend, mother, or other women.

This says more about your self-esteem than theirs. But then again, didn't you say you choose not to play those games? How could they embarrass you? Are you still playing Mortal Kombat 9 in front of, gasp, your mother, even though it contradicts your principles? Also, if you truly care about the gameplay, then some tits shouldn't bother you in a game that is otherwise fun to play.

#53 leveskikesko

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Posted 09 January 2013 - 05:59 AM

Bayonetta is a perfect counterpart to one of the creator's previous characters (Dante from Devil May Cry), plus the game itself is oozing with fun and Sega love. On top of that, it's impossible for Bayonetta to be anything other than female (thanks to her actions, style, and personality), which can't be said for so many other women heroes in games. That in itself is really cool.

It's not her feminine and posh style that I take issue with, but rather that everything else about her was designed completely with the male gaze in mind, to a degree that even exceeded a character like Lara Croft. If the game's team allowed for us to witness her own first-person gaze towards a certain male character and allowed that certain male character to reciprocate a decent amount of fanservice, I might have found the game much less exploitative.

Is there something wrong with saying this? Is there something wrong with saying that these types of games should refrain from trying to appeal to women because it would fundamentally change what actually makes them attractive to the men who play them?

There's nothing wrong with games that happen to appeal more to a certain gender. However, I see no harm in making traditionally female games more attractive to men and traditionally male titles more attractive to women. Gears of War's inclusion of war-torn female characters and Style Savvy's inclusion of fashionable male characters did not worsen the overall direction of those series. All of this paranoia is unwarranted.

You don't care mostly about gameplay. You paid a premium for Mirror's Edge, a first-person platformer (quite a shitty combination) because you're an activist first and a gamer second.

I'm willing to admit that I found Half-Life 2's gameplay so incredibly boring that I would never recommend it to anyone, despite the positive female character in Alyx Vance. Would this opinion qualify me for the coveted gamer first, activist second title?
Spoiler

And how can you call yourself a Cheap Ass Gamer when you pay a premium for any reason? I got that game for free when EA screwed up their Origin sale.

Sometimes I'm not a cheapassgamer, especially when a game's demo impresses me as much as Mirror's Edge's demo. I'm sorry?

This says more about your self-esteem than theirs. But then again, didn't you say you choose not to play those games? How could they embarrass you? Are you still playing Mortal Kombat 9 in front of, gasp, your mother, even though it contradicts your principles?

It did say something about my self-esteem during those moments: that I was concerned about gaming being seen as a lesser form of entertainment deserving of scorn by the rest of society. As for how these situations happened in the first place, I was once much more apathetic about social issues in gaming, particularly in my teen years. Given your confused response, it seems necessary for me to note that there were several times when a girlfriend, female friend or female family member would verbally make it known that they were uncomfortable with me playing certain fighting and open world games that had objectified female characters around them, whereas game series like Burnout, F-Zero and Virtua Fighter never bothered them.

Also, if you truly care about the gameplay, then some tits shouldn't bother you in a game that is otherwise fun to play.

Again, I wouldn't go out of my way to buy a game if it only had socially progressive values going for it, but does that indicate that I don't care about social progress? No, it means that I care about both social issues and gameplay. When I overhear some gamers dismiss game series like DOA and Bayonetta as little more than goofy soft porn titles, it suggests to me that the fanservice is distracting from the gameplay. That said, I'm not so rigid that I would blacklist every mainstream "hardcore" game series riddled with the sexist cliches; I still manage to enjoy the Mass Effect series for the many things it got right.
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#54 panzerfaust

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Posted 09 January 2013 - 06:54 AM

Bayonetta is an obvious parody of everything you hate, you Fuck. Go support it. Or just continue to praise the horribly written female Gears characters because they're "war torn!" Jesus.

White knighting is so fucking annoying.

#55 leveskikesko

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Posted 09 January 2013 - 07:01 AM

Bayonetta is an obvious parody of everything you hate, you Fuck. Go support it. Or just continue to praise the horribly written female Gears characters because they're "war torn!" Jesus.

White knighting is so fucking annoying.


Bayonetta happens to be Kamiya's "ideal woman" and the game appeals to men with its various camera angles. Very convenient. http://www.destructo...n--148356.phtml

Below is a parody:

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#56 panzerfaust

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Posted 09 January 2013 - 07:25 AM

You would really enjoy Spec Ops: The Line.

#57 R. Kasahara

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Posted 09 January 2013 - 03:42 PM

You did not just drag Kate Beaton into this.

Anyway, derail-- I mean, back to the original topic. I remembered that I used to post bad articles concerning Final Fantasy VII on my old blog (for example, every FFVII-related piece by Ben Dutka, like this one, where he thinks an ad for the Square Enix-centric mook Cloud, vol. 2 is a hint at a new Compilation of FFVII game).

Went back there and took a quick look, finding this article with a particularly bad second paragraph: http://news.softpedi...yed-98938.shtml

OH OH, and then there's this one: http://pr-gb.com/ind...=25315&Itemid=9

Edited by blueshinra, 09 January 2013 - 05:45 PM.

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#58 Ryuukishi

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Posted 09 January 2013 - 05:34 PM

The Final Fantasy series "features a variety of fictional characters." Wow! That is some insightful, illuminating reporting right there. :)

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