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Official NHL 14 Discussion/CAG Team Thread - The Flying Vegans Cometh! Game Out Now!


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#1141 moojuice

moojuice

Posted 12 February 2014 - 07:05 PM

I'll probably pass on Nba. I personally can't stand the sport.

I guess it's the Internet being the Internet,but I don't get the hate for certain youtubers. Just don't watch it or ignore it if it annoys you so much. It's the Internet, there plenty of other stuff you can watch.

#1142 n8rockerasu

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Posted 12 February 2014 - 10:12 PM

Finally playing Woodcutter Simulator. Seems very straightforward. Apparently, "The National Chainsaw Chamipionship is nigh" and I need to train for it. So, I'm given tasks of running (or driving once I have enough money to buy vehicles) to different forests and cutting down a certain number of trees. You don't actually control the chainsaw. You just run up the tree, hit the space bar and it does the rest. Not exactly an enthralling game, but it's kind of enjoyable in a quirky, laid back way...I guess.



#1143 Matt Young

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Posted 12 February 2014 - 11:04 PM

I'll probably pass on Nba. I personally can't stand the sport.


Oh Alan... You're like Pierce Hawthorne with your hilarious racism. ;-)

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#1144 moojuice

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Posted 12 February 2014 - 11:14 PM

Oh Alan... You're like Pierce Hawthorne with your hilarious racism. ;-)

Name a sport, i'll give you ten reasons why it's better than basketball.



#1145 n8rockerasu

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Posted 12 February 2014 - 11:23 PM

Name a sport, i'll give you ten reasons why it's better than basketball.

Oh, this will be fun! :D

 

Badminton



#1146 jza1218

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Posted 12 February 2014 - 11:59 PM

Croquet.



#1147 Matt Young

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 12:06 AM

Curling.

And in case it didn't come across in the text, I was not the slightest bit serious about the racist thing.

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#1148 moojuice

moojuice

Posted 13 February 2014 - 12:17 AM

Oh, this will be fun! :D

 

Badminton

1.) The thing you hit is a called a Shuttlecock.

2.) A dude once smashed a shuttlecock at 493km/hr, or 306mph.

3.) You smash your shuttlecock at other people with the intent to kill them. In Basketball, you shoot a stupid ball at a metal hole that doesn't even have a "goalie"

4.) Everything in basketball is a foul. In Badminton, the only foul is if you can't hit the shuttlecock over the net when you're serving, because hey, dont be a wuss, hit that thing over the net like a man.

5.) Basketball was invented by a dude who worked for the YMCA and was bored. Badminton was invented by military dudes who were bored.

6.) Badminton is played to 21 points, which means points mean something. Why even give points if you can score over 100 of them in a game?

7.) In basketball, there's a timer for having to bring the ball out of your own half of the court. You know why? Because people were stalling in their own zone, trying to burn time off the clock. And they were burning time off because they realized "Hey, this sport sucks, I don't really want to play more basketball." Then some douche bag had to go and make a timer for it, so people had to actually play basketball. There's no timer in badminton because people actually want to play badminton.

8.) Badminton has one set of rules, and one set of rules only. That's because it's a good game. People got so bored of basketball that they invented things like Slamball (Basketball with trampolines), 21- HORSE, and Knockout, just to make it somewhat bearable to watch/play.

9.) You can play badminton on just about any surface, such as a nice beach or grassy field. Try playing basketball on any of those surfaces.

10.) You are always playing in badminton. In basketball, you first off stand around while you're waiting for the other team to bring the ball out of their zone, and even after than, you might run around for 30 seconds (because there's also a shot clock timer; again, to make people actually have to play the game properly), yet you have numerous substitutions because players are "tired." Tired of playing basketball is more like it.



#1149 Matt Young

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 12:21 AM

Lmao... This is brilliant. I love you, Alan.

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#1150 moojuice

moojuice

Posted 13 February 2014 - 12:43 AM

Croquet.

1.) Croquet inspired mini-golf. Minigolf is awesome.

2.) You can drink a beer and play croquet at the same time and not spill.

3.) You can modify a croquet court to make it more challenging. Apparently running back and forth and shooting at a stationary target is a challenge

4.) You can hit your ball into other people's balls without penalty. If you throw a basketball at someone else's balls, you're probably getting suspended.

5.) Croquet was an Olympic sport in 1900. Basketball in 1936.

6.) In croquet, the hoop is just barely bigger than the ball, meaning it's a lot harder to putt a croquet ball thru a hoop than shooting a basketball at a hoop.

7.) Men and women can play against each other in croquet tournaments, because croquet promotes gender equality.

8.) In 2012, 1800 people participated in a Croquet tournament at Oxford University, and was the largest sporting event in campus history. Which means it's more fun to play than basketball.

9.) There's no stupid rules in croquet. Just hit your ball thru the hole. No stupid rules like shot clock violation, double dribble, 3 second violation, lane violation. Just put the ball thru the damn hole.

10.) Croquets are delicious.

 

800px-Febo_kalfsvleeskroket.jpg



#1151 Vulcan2422

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 12:44 AM

Curling is awesome to watch. 

 

Oh, here you go Alan

 

Sailing

 

 

Ha ha ha 

 

3.) You smash your shuttlecock at other people with the intent to kill them. In Basketball, you shoot a stupid ball at a metal hole that doesn't even have a "goalie"


Vulcan7905.png
Real Life Ice Hockey Stats: Goals - 20 Assists - 23 Penalty Minutes - 8


Granted I only played the demo of Chime, but how the heck do you get shit on by Chime?


#1152 moojuice

moojuice

Posted 13 February 2014 - 12:56 AM

Curling.

And in case it didn't come across in the text, I was not the slightest bit serious about the racist thing.

1.) You're playing on ice. Ice is dangerous to play on because you can slip and fall. Sometimes people play on frozen ponds, which is even more dangerous.

2.) Was also an Olympic sport before basketball

3.) Curling pants are way cooler than basketball pants

4.) Female Curlers are way hotter than female basketball players

 

Whoops, accidentally submitted post, will add more via edit

 

5.) You can curl in a wheelchair. You can also play basketball on a wheelchair, but remember, you're on ice, which is dangerous. Also:

pict--wheelchair-curling-wheelchair-curl

 

6.) You use brooms, which can double for cleaning and broom hockey. Your basketball is only good for basketball.

7.) Unicycle curling is infinitley better than Unicycle basketball

8.) Points are way too easy to get in basketball. In curling, they actually use measuring sticks to see who is closest to the center, because it's actually challenging.

9.) The curling "drawing board" is way cooler:

anigif_enhanced-buzz-18211-1382987534-0.

 

10.) Curling is like billiards on ice. There's no ice variant of bbasketball. Because basketball sucks.



#1153 moojuice

moojuice

Posted 13 February 2014 - 01:28 AM

Curling is awesome to watch. 

 

Oh, here you go Alan

 

Sailing

 

 

Ha ha ha 

 

3.) You smash your shuttlecock at other people with the intent to kill them. In Basketball, you shoot a stupid ball at a metal hole that doesn't even have a "goalie"

1.) Sailing isnt just a sport, it's a form of transportation. "I sailed to work today" sounds way cooler than "I basketballed to work today"

2.) People die from sailing because of things like drowning. People don't die in basketball. Oh wait, one guy did once. From being so bored watching basketball that he shot himself. That counts I guess.

3.) Sailing involves wind. There was a race in San Francisco last year where boats couldn't even finish the race because the wind was so strong it broke their boats. Point is, they still tried, even though they might drown or get eaten by a shark. A basketball player gets a leg cramp, and has to get carried off by two people.

 

LBJ-cramps-619-306x346.jpg

4.) You're more likley to see hot chicks in bikinis at a sailing event than a basketball game.

5.) Sailing was an Olympic sport before basketball (1896)

6.) You can sail across the world. You cant basketball across the world. Or maybe you can, but no one would even care because it's basketball.

7.) You can pee off the side of your boat when you sail. You cant pee off the side of a basketball court without being labeled a sex offender.

8.) People got all up in arms when a 14-year old girl was going to sail around  the world solo because it's dangerous. No one bats and eye if a 14 year old girl plays basketball by herself.

9.) You have to wear a life jacket because it will save your life if you fall off the boat. If you fall in basketball because you are a dirty, dirty flopper.

10.) Also, the only floppers in sailing are when fish somehow land in your boat.



#1154 n8rockerasu

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 01:47 AM

I am reasonably certain we are witnessing Alan's finest work ever. This must have been what Michael Jordan's teammates felt like. Whoops...basketball reference. I mean...this must have been what Christopher Columbus's shipmates felt like.

 

Some of my personal favorites:

 

3.) You smash your shuttlecock at other people with the intent to kill them. In Basketball, you shoot a stupid ball at a metal hole that doesn't even have a "goalie"

4.) You can hit your ball into other people's balls without penalty. If you throw a basketball at someone else's balls, you're probably getting suspended.

5.) You can curl in a wheelchair. You can also play basketball on a wheelchair, but remember, you're on ice, which is dangerous. Also:

pict--wheelchair-curling-wheelchair-curl

1.) Sailing isnt just a sport, it's a form of transportation. "I sailed to work today" sounds way cooler than "I basketballed to work today"

 

7.) You can pee off the side of your boat when you sail. You cant pee off the side of a basketball court without being labeled a sex offender.



#1155 n8rockerasu

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 01:50 AM

This is also going in my signature so as many people can read it as possible, haha.



#1156 Vulcan2422

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 02:19 AM

Ha ha, This needs to be on reddit. Just awesome. 

 

Saw Oculus Rift is getting sued over their name as well. 


Vulcan7905.png
Real Life Ice Hockey Stats: Goals - 20 Assists - 23 Penalty Minutes - 8


Granted I only played the demo of Chime, but how the heck do you get shit on by Chime?


#1157 moojuice

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 02:20 AM

<3



#1158 DarkTower80

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 02:20 AM

Lol damn Alan.

#1159 n8rockerasu

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 02:35 AM

Ha ha, This needs to be on reddit. Just awesome. 

 

Saw Oculus Rift is getting sued over their name as well. 

Wow...that lawsuit is a freaking joke. Total ploy just to get some publicity of their own and/or profit off someone elses success. This Oculu company is trying to claim that it's a trademark violation because Oculus intends to "stream audio and video by means of the internet"...which is what they do, and that will confuse customers.

 

http://arstechnica.c...demark-concern/

 

If that doesn't get thrown out, I'll be amazed. To begin with...it's not the same name. And secondly, the only thing you could possibly construe into "streaming audio and video by means of the internet" is a statement Oculus made about hopefully designing their own games someday (which I guess would include audio and video...and could be downloaded over the internet...FFS). What a slimy ass company. Here's their website.

 

http://www.oculu.com/



#1160 Matt Young

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 02:37 AM

Allow me to reiterate: Alan, I love you.

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#1161 jza1218

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 02:39 AM

Here's a challenge for Alan. Hockey, as done by EA.



#1162 Vulcan2422

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 03:26 AM

http://www.reddit.co...es_oculus_over/

 

 

 

Not to sure why they are slimey though. 


Vulcan7905.png
Real Life Ice Hockey Stats: Goals - 20 Assists - 23 Penalty Minutes - 8


Granted I only played the demo of Chime, but how the heck do you get shit on by Chime?


#1163 moojuice

moojuice

Posted 13 February 2014 - 03:43 AM

Allow me to reiterate: Alan, I love you.

<3 you too

 

Here's a challenge for Alan. Hockey, as done by EA.

Challenge? Pfft, too easy.

 

1.)  Although EA NHL refs suck, we know they ARE NOT betting on games to make money. Although we know NBA refs suck, the sometimes ARE making bets on games to make money.

2.) No EASHL player is attempting to build a relationship with a certain North Korean Dictator.

3.) The penalty shot, hockey's version of a free throw, at least has variability with the goalie, so there is an excuse if you don't score. In most professional sports, an athlete is expected to make routine plays where there is little variability (such as an open net shot in hockey when the goalie is pulled, a routine flyball in baseball, a PAT in football, etc). In basketball, they have to keep track of free throw %; an uncontested, un-timed shot, at a stationary target that never changes height or depth, with no variability in wind or temperature or the coriolis effect, because holy shit, why are you missing this easy shot when you're paid to do this?

4.) There's at least 100 bench spots in an EASHL locker room, so more of your friends can feel like part of the team. An NBA locker room has like what...20 spots?

5.) Even though EA NHL goalies suck, they at least make saves sometimes. In basketball, you cant even have a goalie because you get a foul for goal tending. And goal tending fouls exist because basketball would be boring as hell to watch if no one scored, so they had to make it easy to get points so people would actually watch basketball.

6.) You can send XBL messages to other EA NHL players about inappropriate sexual acts conducted with other people's mothers without getting a 2 minute penalty. Mutombo waves his index finger at someone and gets a freaking technical foul.

7.) The below video is the best EA NHL movie ever made. The best basketball movie ever involves a retired basketball player becoming a baseball player, who decides to save a rabbit, duck, martian, Tasmanian devil, and other cartoon individuals from alien slavery.

8.) You can kneel in front of a person in EA NHL when they're skating to trip them, and it's funny. You can do that in basketball too, but that just makes you a dick.

9.) EA NHL has the creepy Russian trainer in the tracksuit, but he's totally cool and chill. You run into a Russian dude with a track suit on a basketball court, he's not there to play basketball; he's there to break your legs with a bat and maybe dribble the ball on your face.

10.) Playoffs are every two weeks, and subsequently, there are a lot of different champions; hundreds of champions since September. The NBA has had 8 champions in 25 years. Probably because the other 22 teams realized they're playing a terrible game and stopped trying as hard.



#1164 moojuice

moojuice

Posted 13 February 2014 - 03:51 AM

Wow...that lawsuit is a freaking joke. Total ploy just to get some publicity of their own and/or profit off someone elses success. This Oculu company is trying to claim that it's a trademark violation because Oculus intends to "stream audio and video by means of the internet"...which is what they do, and that will confuse customers.

 

http://arstechnica.c...demark-concern/

 

If that doesn't get thrown out, I'll be amazed. To begin with...it's not the same name. And secondly, the only thing you could possibly construe into "streaming audio and video by means of the internet" is a statement Oculus made about hopefully designing their own games someday (which I guess would include audio and video...and could be downloaded over the internet...FFS). What a slimy ass company. Here's their website.

 

http://www.oculu.com/

It's been a while since I was in a media law class, but IIRC, Oculu is filing trademark infringement, which is more for the name of the product company itself, than for what the product does, which is patent infringement. The article itself mentions "streaming audio and video by means of the internet," but that quote doesnt seem to be from Oculu themselves, it's just the writer using those quotes. THe actual quote from Oculu strictly talks about the name being used. If that's the case, I think they actually might have a case to make, because the names are awfully similar. If Oculu has documentation the Oculus approached them for a name buyout, that actually would be strong evidence against Oculus for trademark infringement.



#1165 Vulcan2422

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 04:42 AM

How about just stuff in general? Say, Candy Crush or Farmville?

Vulcan7905.png
Real Life Ice Hockey Stats: Goals - 20 Assists - 23 Penalty Minutes - 8


Granted I only played the demo of Chime, but how the heck do you get shit on by Chime?


#1166 jza1218

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 04:50 AM

Bravo, Alan.



#1167 n8rockerasu

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Posted 13 February 2014 - 04:59 AM

It's been a while since I was in a media law class, but IIRC, Oculu is filing trademark infringement, which is more for the name of the product company itself, than for what the product does, which is patent infringement. The article itself mentions "streaming audio and video by means of the internet," but that quote doesnt seem to be from Oculu themselves, it's just the writer using those quotes. THe actual quote from Oculu strictly talks about the name being used. If that's the case, I think they actually might have a case to make, because the names are awfully similar. If Oculu has documentation the Oculus approached them for a name buyout, that actually would be strong evidence against Oculus for trademark infringement.

 

Oh yeah, if they actually have documentation of that, that would be huge. From what I could tell, Oculu doesn't have any kind of logo that Oculus could have stolen. I get that they want to say "Oh, they just added an "s" to make it different. But what seems more way likely to me is that Oculus had never heard of Oculu...and came up with a name based around vision (ocular) that just happened to be similar to another company that is in a completely different field.

 

That's like Raid insect repellent suing the Oakland Raiders because they both stink (hiyo). "But but...they just added 'ers'" Or Samson musical instruments suing Samsonite the luggage company. Companies have similar names. It happens all the time. I guess it bears similarities to the WWF...World Wildlife Federation case...but that was based more around the logo and using the WWF acronym. This is two completely different words. 

 

But yeah...the name being "similar" seems to be what they've built the entirety of their case on. Unless they have some hard evidence against Oculus, their claim should be laughable. And allegedly, some of the stuff in that Ars Technica article is from the actual court filing.

 

Here's a RockPaperShotgun article that basically makes the same point.

http://www.rockpaper...st-oculus-rift/



#1168 jza1218

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Posted 14 February 2014 - 04:08 AM

Any of you guys (besides Alan, who already has it) get Typing of the Dead from GreenManGaming? $6.79 right now.



#1169 Vulcan2422

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Posted 14 February 2014 - 05:36 AM

 

The only reason to get it, lol


Vulcan7905.png
Real Life Ice Hockey Stats: Goals - 20 Assists - 23 Penalty Minutes - 8


Granted I only played the demo of Chime, but how the heck do you get shit on by Chime?


#1170 n8rockerasu

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Posted 14 February 2014 - 07:05 AM

Oh my God, that is amazing, lol. I almost lost it when Daffy Duck slammed the ball with authority. And then the ally oop to Bugs Bunny. I wonder if there's a mod like that for 13. I got that for like $7 last year...and the only reason I'd really consider upgrading is for OTP. That mod is the shit though. Nice find, Gary! :)

 

EDIT - Just checked and there IS a 2K13 version of it. And is it just me or do the Looney Tunes characters look shorter in this one?

 

 

It looks better that way...but I wonder if it really throws off the balance with being able to play defense. I'm assuming their jumping is still maxed out...but maybe boxing out and getting position is harder. Anyway, downloading and installing, haha.