Jump to content



- - - - -

Chuck responds to fact generator...


  • Please log in to reply
26 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Apossum_*

Guest_Apossum_*

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:32 AM

AND THE LORD SAID....buy my book

http://www.chucknorr...tml/events.aspx

IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET

I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris



#2 bobo2k4

bobo2k4

    OooSplendiforous

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:34 AM

I love the way he plugs in his books.
Posted Image
Props to Ozzkev for the sig.

#3 2poor

2poor

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:37 AM

He knows he loves the publicity.

#4 Dr Mario Kart

Dr Mario Kart

    SD/2D Defense Force

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:42 AM

Whats the internet? Buy my book

#5 Blade

Blade

    Adolescent Genetically Altered Shinobi Terrapin

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:49 AM

I once heard that Chuck Norris gave up professional acting because he just flipped out and killed everyone on the set of Walker Texas Ranger because the black guy brought him a raspberry-filled donut when he specifically asked for strawberry.

I suppose when you orgasm everytime you kick like he does, it gives you a big incentive to keep kicking.
Earn $10 instantly with Groupon!

We as a community feel that it would be best if you didn't trade on here anymore. Despite your 350 positive transactions, I'm deactivating your account on 99Gamers because you offend me. I'm unrelatable, give poor customer service, and am now taking away your invested time and money because I don't like you.

Best,
Brandon, Owner of 99Gamers.com


#6 Zenithian Legend

Zenithian Legend

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:50 AM

Whats the internet? Buy my book


:rofl:

Like Isiah Thomas and his candybars, or more recently his crazy trades.

Chuck Norris, what a gem. Soon he'll be using the publicity to pimp out his total gym.
Posted Image

#7 Blade

Blade

    Adolescent Genetically Altered Shinobi Terrapin

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:53 AM

Chuck Norris, what a gem. Soon he'll be using the publicity to pimp out his total gym.


He can't. He's in hiding. Chuck Norris is wanted by the CIA for crimes against humanity, and all of his Total Gym commercials are indirectly broadcasted through a satellite on Wayne Knight's back (he's that fat). They superimpose Christie Brinkley's face on Eric Robert's body, whom Chuck is holding hostage.
Earn $10 instantly with Groupon!

We as a community feel that it would be best if you didn't trade on here anymore. Despite your 350 positive transactions, I'm deactivating your account on 99Gamers because you offend me. I'm unrelatable, give poor customer service, and am now taking away your invested time and money because I don't like you.

Best,
Brandon, Owner of 99Gamers.com


#8 Jaket

Jaket

    Ask me about my Halo 3 stats

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:54 AM

Chuck Norris doesn't respond to facts... facts respond to him
still alive

#9 Xevious

Xevious

    Most Damned CAG Evar

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 24 February 2006 - 05:34 AM

I never heard about these "Random facts". I guess I've been living in the wild west too.

Damn you xevious...

Damn you Xevious... damn you to hell.....

Damn you Xevious be quiet.

So you know EBM? Damn you Xevious...




#10 Blade

Blade

    Adolescent Genetically Altered Shinobi Terrapin

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 24 February 2006 - 05:47 AM

http://www.4q.cc/ind...ct&person=chuck

"Chuck Norris was born with testicles of such great size that when they dropped they made the crater that destroyed the dinosaurs. Today that crater is known as the Atlantic Ocean."
Earn $10 instantly with Groupon!

We as a community feel that it would be best if you didn't trade on here anymore. Despite your 350 positive transactions, I'm deactivating your account on 99Gamers because you offend me. I'm unrelatable, give poor customer service, and am now taking away your invested time and money because I don't like you.

Best,
Brandon, Owner of 99Gamers.com


#11 The Dord

The Dord

    Game Center CX fan

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 24 February 2006 - 02:43 PM

www.chucknorrisfacts.com

Original site, plus now you can buy shirts with chuck norris quotes on them.. for the WIN! :lol:


Posted Image
Bing rewards. Earn Points for free Microsoft Points!


#12 The Dord

The Dord

    Game Center CX fan

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 25 February 2006 - 09:59 AM

And the site is down.. Wonder what happened?


Posted Image
Bing rewards. Earn Points for free Microsoft Points!


#13 Sleepkyng

Sleepkyng

    doesn't even exist anymor

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 25 February 2006 - 10:05 AM

my all time favorite is - Chuck norris can make a woman orgasm just by pointing at her and saying "booyah"

#14 wubb

wubb

    CAGiversary!

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 25 February 2006 - 02:02 PM

Pretty sure that's more a response from Chuck's publicist than from the man himself. Too bad they didn't get creative and fashion some sort of response in the vein of a Chuck Norris fact or two. Could've been classic.

Heck, Jaket's line would have been great.

Chuck Norris doesn't respond to facts... facts respond to him


And the site is down.. Wonder what happened?


Wow, I wonder what's the story with that? Think the owner let his domain registration lapse? Actually I don't think that's it, but if you do a whois lookup:

Registrar: DOTSTER
Domain Name: CHUCKNORRISFACTS.COM
Created on: 20-DEC-05
Expires on: 20-DEC-06
Last Updated on: 24-FEB-06

So something was updated yesterday? Maybe it's moving servers or something, I'm not too up on what that would mean.

#15 The Dord

The Dord

    Game Center CX fan

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 25 February 2006 - 09:24 PM

It's back up again.. whew!! :lol:


Posted Image
Bing rewards. Earn Points for free Microsoft Points!


#16 dudecool320

dudecool320

    COOKIES YAY!

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 26 February 2006 - 12:52 AM

Chuck Norris had son. His name is GOD:booty:
"I can eat a box of cookies for dinner if I wanted too. What, can you do that? No. Cause Your a fart face kid." Will FerrellPosted Image Posted Image



#17 Rocko

Rocko

Posted 26 February 2006 - 01:25 AM

I'm so sick of these.

#18 humidore

humidore

Posted 26 February 2006 - 02:12 AM

There's a really personal and sad story under "trivia" for him on imdb.com.


#19 Blade

Blade

    Adolescent Genetically Altered Shinobi Terrapin

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 26 February 2006 - 03:55 AM

Everybody knows there's no such thing as the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, or the Tooth Fairy...Chuck Norris took care of that.
Earn $10 instantly with Groupon!

We as a community feel that it would be best if you didn't trade on here anymore. Despite your 350 positive transactions, I'm deactivating your account on 99Gamers because you offend me. I'm unrelatable, give poor customer service, and am now taking away your invested time and money because I don't like you.

Best,
Brandon, Owner of 99Gamers.com


#20 Admiral Ackbar

Admiral Ackbar

    It's a trap!

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 26 February 2006 - 03:58 AM

"Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match."

The 2014 E3 Theme: "Coming in 2015."


#21 ph33r m3

ph33r m3

    C.A.G. Legend

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 26 February 2006 - 03:58 AM

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush
Posted Image

#22 Blade

Blade

    Adolescent Genetically Altered Shinobi Terrapin

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 26 February 2006 - 11:51 PM

Chuck Norris once made a pronounciation mistake on aspergers disease. The disease was so ashamed that it went into recession, and nobody has had it since.
Earn $10 instantly with Groupon!

We as a community feel that it would be best if you didn't trade on here anymore. Despite your 350 positive transactions, I'm deactivating your account on 99Gamers because you offend me. I'm unrelatable, give poor customer service, and am now taking away your invested time and money because I don't like you.

Best,
Brandon, Owner of 99Gamers.com


#23 The Dord

The Dord

    Game Center CX fan

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 11 March 2006 - 11:32 PM

Found the "ONE" weakness of Chuck Norris

Posted Image


Posted Image
Bing rewards. Earn Points for free Microsoft Points!


#24 Fire

Fire

    Burn! Burn!

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 11 March 2006 - 11:44 PM

I love these Chuck Norris "facts" . There awesome!

#25 Fire

Fire

    Burn! Burn!

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 11 March 2006 - 11:46 PM

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

#26 Demolition Man

Demolition Man

    REV-OH-LU-TION!

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 March 2006 - 02:26 AM

Jack Bauer doesn't respond to facts... facts respond to him


Please... get your facts straight as we all know Jack Bauer > Chuck Norris. :D

New sig coming soon.


#27 Blade

Blade

    Adolescent Genetically Altered Shinobi Terrapin

  • CAGiversary!

Posted 12 March 2006 - 04:15 AM

Found the "ONE" weakness of Chuck Norris

Posted Image


This is merely a stunt double placed in Chuck's standzone to make people assume he isn't invincible.

Chuck Norris can make anyone look like him.
Earn $10 instantly with Groupon!

We as a community feel that it would be best if you didn't trade on here anymore. Despite your 350 positive transactions, I'm deactivating your account on 99Gamers because you offend me. I'm unrelatable, give poor customer service, and am now taking away your invested time and money because I don't like you.

Best,
Brandon, Owner of 99Gamers.com