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I failed this summer.

Posted by 200STM, 27 July 2011 · 231 views

[Note: I am freaking mad as heck as I typed this down, I'm sure we all have had one of those WTF Rage moments I had mine before I typed this so this is what the result was of that rage]

I didn't get my license like I have hoped to do, though I can now drive a car decently the fact that I didn't get my license makes it a fail.

I didn't get a job part time or full time. I applied to many places and was hoping to get a job at a local shell gas station calls went no where like other calls it too was a failure.

I did beat more games and got some cool games for my video game collection but as a gamer what keeps me from enjoying this is that once again I failed on what I wanted to do for this summer.

I did get to spend time with my family and went on good trips to Disneyland, Salinas, Sequoias National Forest and a few family barbeques. Though I showed a smile and I talked with my family I felt a terrible gut feeling inside my stomach as I failed to do my goals for the summer.

I came to the realization today as I showered and suffering from sun burns I realized I am loser and well I am pretty much bottom of the barrel of my family and I'm one of the family members who were seen most likely to succeed in their lives. My ego and self esteem and I think my mind took a big hit today, I am going to just keep my distance and tell my aunt and uncle I am going to move out back to mc farland. I failed here in Bakersfield 3 years and not once a fucking job.

Thanks for listening sound off! smallest violin in the world!




[Note: I am freaking mad as heck as I typed this down, I'm sure we all have had one of those WTF Rage moments I had mine before I typed this so this is what the result was of that rage]

I didn't get my license like I have hoped to do, though I can now drive a car decently the fact that I didn't get my license makes it a fail.

I didn't get a job part time or full time. I applied to many places and was hoping to get a job at a local shell gas station calls went no where like other calls it too was a failure.

I did beat more games and got some cool games for my video game collection but as a gamer what keeps me from enjoying this is that once again I failed on what I wanted to do for this summer.

I did get to spend time with my family and went on good trips to Disneyland, Salinas, Sequoias National Forest and a few family barbeques. Though I showed a smile and I talked with my family I felt a terrible gut feeling inside my stomach as I failed to do my goals for the summer.

I came to the realization today as I showered and suffering from sun burns I realized I am loser and well I am pretty much bottom of the barrel of my family and I'm one of the family members who were seen most likely to succeed in their lives. My ego and self esteem and I think my mind took a big hit today, I am going to just keep my distance and tell my aunt and uncle I am going to move out back to mc farland. I failed here in Bakersfield 3 years and not once a fucking job.

Thanks for listening sound off! smallest violin in the world!
LOL unless you have failed 5 times and this is your 6th you shouldnt sweat it so much if youre comfortable driving you should pass. just drive confidently and dont break any laws :) stop red lights ... go at the right speed not too fast not too slow either... cant you just take the test again? not everyone can pass in 1 go if you live in a high populated area theyll be stricter since they dont want shaky drivers on the road when theres so many cars. your college does not have any job opportunities? good way to start
I haven't taken the test yet, and its going too late since I have babysitting duties coming up soon and college classes. I am just a little piss off at myself and from reading the blog its just me ventilating off from a major rage session (which had me punch a bunch of bags of potting soil and throwing a rock at the fence. I wish I could have broken something but I don't want to upset my aunt and uncle
You are going to look back at this blog one day and laugh at how insignificant these problems are compared to your future endeavors.

Don't let it get you down and move forward.
I hope so CAGs I hope so, it just feels awful being un-employed I have told myself not to go becoming suicidal, alcoholic or a drug user to calm my nerves. I play video games and listen to music or play on my bass guitar its only minimal though since I get really upset a while later.
Eh, maybe it would help to take a walk every now and then. Whenever I'm stressing out about stuff, I find it helps to clear my mind and center my focus. Just keep your chin up and you'll do fine.
U need to burn one son
maybe you should just kill yourself, what a horrible life you live!
Damn dude, if I was near a computer when I felt the same way you did I would have been the one to post a rage blog! xD I used to live in Bakersfield but got my family to move away asap when I was in high school. Been living about 40 miles north of Salinas, weather is MUCH better but.. the unemployment rate in my county is one of the highest in the state and I can't get a f***ing job either lol. I've had 2 before so I have experience, done volunteer work, etc. but yeah.. OH WELL. Just gotta keep trying.

EDIT: If you do drink every now and then, make SURE to think optimistically! When I drink with my friends, I get so pumped just telling myself, "Tomorrow I'm gonna clean myself up, wear some proper attire and look for a job in person!" Yeah, the job hasn't come up but at least it makes you not give up! =)
how old are u?U should enjoy your friends and family as much as possible. Yeah, jobs are hard these days, but keep trying. U will land one. May I ask, what part of your driving test did u fail?
"The only trick to success is that you have to be willing to fail a thousand times to get there"

Or something like that. Yes I'm playing 9Doors, 9Persons, 9Hours.
Ask your friends/relatives to see if they can help you out by working where they do.
Hey 200STM (you know who I am lol).

I am very sorry to hear many things didn't go the way you wanted to this summer. I definitely understand about wanting to feel bad all the time for not reaching your goals (I feel the same daily with my current situation).

Please, do not let any of this get to you. Be very thankful you have family and friends (like I'm one of them) who care very much and will support you no matter what happens. Just keep shooting for your goals, where one day they'll come. If you feel the need to break from gaming due to feeling bad, just take a break and talk to people, maybe helping you feel better.

Anyway, I really wish you good luck and hope you eventually get your license, find a job, etc. It took me a while to get it all accomplished (longer than you actually, and while I felt down, I continued trying).
This reminds me of my summer of '09. I was substitute teaching at the time, and while my wife's job paid well, I still wanted to contribute during the summer months. I put in nearly 20 applications, only 3 called me back, and out of those calls only led to one interview. I go to the interview, and am informed that I'm too qualified. So, for that summer I played video games, watched movies, and wrote a good bit. While that sounds awesome, it drove me nuts that nobody would hire me and that I wasn't contributing to my household.

If you get a chance to take your driving test, good luck! Also, keep in mind that you'll be back into your normal groove soon when classes start back up.