From this outlandish opening the film returns to the Mexican-American border, with Machete – the federale-turned-labourer-turned-superhuman killing machine – re-teaming with Jessica Alba’s immigration officer to bring down a military operation selling weapons to a drug cartel. Cue our hero electrocuting one bad guy and – in trademark fashion – splitting another down the middle with his very large knife.
Following an early twist and turn – the first of many in a somewhat over-complicated plot – Machete is summoned to the White House where the President requests his help.
A Mexican revolutionary has lost his mind, turned terrorist, and has a missile aimed directly at Washington. For somewhat ridiculous reasons, Machete is the only man who can save the so-called land-of-the-free, and so accepts the mission.
He’s therefore soon parachuting into Acapulco, shooting up half of Mexico, reuniting with friends old, murdering foes new, and discovering that there’s a guy behind the guy behind the guy in a plot that features corrupt cops, super-soldiers, bloodthirsty prostitutes, global conspiracy, and a dash of space violence.It’s all hugely tongue-in-cheek, the humour as broad as the kills are extreme. And many of the laughs derive from the casting, with countless stars working dramatically against type and clearly having a blast in the process.
The aforementioned President is played by Charlie Sheen – here billed as Carlos Eztevez – and having America’s favourite bad-boy show up as the country’s Commander-in-Chief is stunt casting that shouldn’t work but does, with Sheen playing the part straighter than you’d expect.
Which is not an accusation that can be levelled at Lady Gaga, who looks like she’s just walked off the set of a Russ Meyer movie as a man-eating assassin, with crazy cascading from her every line delivery.
Mel Gibson also injects a fair amount of mad into proceedings, his character an eccentric billionaire determined to turn science fiction into fact, no matter what the cost. Indeed, Gibson pokes a fair amount of fun at himself here, which might be a sensible choice at this point in his career.
Walt Goggins, Antonio Banderas and Cuba Gooding Jr. infuse the film with testosterone, though to say much more about their characters would be to spoil the plot.
More-often-than-not it’s the women who dominate proceedings however, the director once again creating female roles that are as strong as they are sexy for the likes of Vanessa Hudgens and Alexa Vega.
Amber Heard steams up the screen as Miss San Antonio, a beauty pageant queen who doubles as the handler – in more ways than one – of Government agents. Imagine a sexed up combination of Bond’s Q and M, in high heels, a killer dress, and push-up bra and you’re half-way there.And Sofia Vergara gives what may be the most over-the-top performance of the year as Madame Desdamona, owner of the Desdamona Bordello and architect of ‘Peso Pussy Tuesday’. A bitch with balls and weaponry emerging from her every private part, she’s the most outrageous character in a film filled the eccentric and bizarre.
But as with the first Machete, the film belongs to Danny Trejo, an actor so badass that he played the title character in a film called Badass. As ever he’s a man of few words, but Trejo doesn’t need dialogue to convey his meaning; his eyes hugely expressive – most notably during a scene in which he’s hanging from a noose – and his actions oftentimes speaking louder than words for this larger-than-life character.
The tone does veer all over-the-place, the schizophrenic flick changing from action to comedy to buddy movie to sci-fi to psychedelic sex flick, sometimes in the space of a scene. But if you can keep up, Rodriguez’s direction is endlessly inventive, the combination of low-fi and hi-tech making for a truly unique viewing experience.
Unfortunately the film runs out of steam in the final third, coinciding with a dramatic genre change which is brave, but not entirely successful. Indeed at times it feels like Rodriguez and screenwriter Kyle Ward had an hour of great material that they stretched out to fill a feature.
Yet as the movie nears its conclusion, and predictably starts setting things up for another sequel, you’ll find yourself craving more Machete. That’s largely due to the character being so damn likeable, but also because an idea that started as a joke is now one of Hollywood’s most interesting and unpredictable franchises, and the mind boggles at what lunacy Rodriguez and his team might concoct next.