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To Cheapy: Mass Effect Book "Dump Calculations"


#1 Simon D I   www.GamerClash.com CAGiversary!   479 Posts   Joined 7.4 Years Ago  

Simon D I

Posted 06 February 2008 - 02:25 AM

Hey, Cheapy. You mentioned that the two things in your bathroom late last year were your Nintendo DS and the Mass Effect Book.

Anyways, I recently bought the book, and I also only read it while on the "throne." What I've been doing is reading one chapter per dump. Bringing me to Chapter 15 as of 3:55pm today (central time).

So my question is; how many dumps did it take YOU to finish this excellent crap-expelling book?

#2 WhipSmartBanky   Bring on the free hooch! CAGiversary!   15292 Posts   Joined 11.8 Years Ago   Has been playing Saints Row: Gat Out of Hell
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WhipSmartBanky

Posted 06 February 2008 - 03:28 AM

Hey, Cheapy. You mentioned that the two things in your bathroom late last year were your Nintendo DS and the Mass Effect Book.

Anyways, I recently bought the book, and I also only read it while on the "throne." What I've been doing is reading one chapter per dump. Bringing me to Chapter 15 as of 3:55pm today (central time).

So my question is; how many dumps did it take YOU to finish this excellent crap-expelling book?

Man, I stopped reading/gaming in the shitter after reading some horror stories about anal fissures and hemorrhoids.

Though, I do throw those free GFW and EGM in there from time to time.

Now that, my friend, is a shared moment.

about.me/wsb


#3 Simon D I   www.GamerClash.com CAGiversary!   479 Posts   Joined 7.4 Years Ago  

Simon D I

Posted 06 February 2008 - 04:04 AM

Hahahah, yeah man EGM is an awesome mag, but even better in the shitter!!!

But holy crap, dude, I've heard of hemorrhoids,..but ANAL FISSURES!?!?!

...now that you mention it,...I think some Biotic in the Mass Effect Book had the "Anal Fissure" tech... :o

#4 Quintessence   The Darkness Consumes CAGiversary!   1410 Posts   Joined 8.8 Years Ago  

Quintessence

Posted 06 February 2008 - 08:17 AM

Man, I stopped reading/gaming in the shitter after reading some horror stories about anal fissures and hemorrhoids.


WTF?!?! What is this all about?

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#5 CheapyD   Head Cheap Ass Administrators   17041 Posts   Joined 12.0 Years Ago   Has been playing Grand Theft Auto V
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Posted 07 February 2008 - 10:26 AM

I think I too probably averaged at least one chapter per dump.

#6 fatbeer   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   2116 Posts   Joined 10.3 Years Ago  

Posted 07 February 2008 - 10:37 AM

Ass wash + Awesome book= Win for Cheapyd
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#7 ma   Rattled By The Rush CAGiversary!   825 Posts   Joined 10.3 Years Ago  

Posted 07 February 2008 - 03:14 PM

Man, I stopped reading/gaming in the shitter after reading some horror stories about anal fissures and hemorrhoids.

Though, I do throw those free GFW and EGM in there from time to time.


The trick is to stop pushing after all the poop is out.

#8 vanilla_shakin_it   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   387 Posts   Joined 7.3 Years Ago  

vanilla_shakin_it

Posted 07 February 2008 - 06:41 PM

Jesus, I hate being in the bathroom. I never understood why people love to spend hours on the can after the initial five minutes or so of pooping and then staying there anyways.

#9 Simon D I   www.GamerClash.com CAGiversary!   479 Posts   Joined 7.4 Years Ago  

Simon D I

Posted 07 February 2008 - 08:13 PM

Damn...fatbeer is right...I forgot about the asswash...

Now THAT would be some fun reading! Having a delightful cascade of sparkling water crash against your cheeks while immersing yourself into a story would be nothing short of spectacular! Shit...in the intense parts of the book, I'd hit the Vag-Wash and make things REAL intense!!

Holy crap (no punk intended), what an idea!


and on a side note, I think the next DumpNovel I will experience is the "Darth Bane" novel by Drew Karpashyan (sp?), the same dude that wrote the Mass Effect book/most of the game/other Star Wars books.

I wish I knew about this reading tactic back when I had to read Shakespeare and other unexciting literature for school!

#10 ratzombie   aka yunkie CAGiversary!   12862 Posts   Joined 9.7 Years Ago  

Posted 08 February 2008 - 01:47 PM

Strange... I'm currently reading Mass Effect on the can as well. I think I average 2 chapters a dump, so either I read really fast or I shit really slowly.

#11 Simon D I   www.GamerClash.com CAGiversary!   479 Posts   Joined 7.4 Years Ago  

Simon D I

Posted 10 February 2008 - 05:40 AM

so either I read really fast or I shit really slowly


Daaaaaamn... That's deep, man!! It's a good book though, right? All that action just tends to..."push" things out!

#12 ratzombie   aka yunkie CAGiversary!   12862 Posts   Joined 9.7 Years Ago  

Posted 11 February 2008 - 06:56 AM

Yup, I'm really enjoying it.

#13 OneWingedAngeI   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   158 Posts   Joined 11.3 Years Ago  

OneWingedAngeI

Posted 18 February 2008 - 05:58 PM

i hope you guys realize that staying on the pooper makes you smell like a mixture of... well poop, and toilet water. you dont notice it yourself because you get used to the smell, but trust me, is no good :(

#14 ratzombie   aka yunkie CAGiversary!   12862 Posts   Joined 9.7 Years Ago  

Posted 18 February 2008 - 07:45 PM

That's not a problem for me, I take a shower after a dump.

Not a big deal as I go only once every day, and coincidentally I shower that often as well.

#15 Simon D I   www.GamerClash.com CAGiversary!   479 Posts   Joined 7.4 Years Ago  

Simon D I

Posted 18 February 2008 - 08:16 PM

That's not a problem for me, I take a shower after a dump.


I pretty much always do that as well! Unless I'm at work, but that's okay because my books stay at home, thus making me take short, to-the-point dumps @ work.


OH! and quick update (I may have to make a thread for Dump Books....)
Since I finished REVELATION, which was AWESOME, I am now reading WILLIAM GIBSON's "NEUROMANCER" ...on the "throne"