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Vin Deisel Random Fact Generator


#1 ZForce915   Group hug! CAGiversary!   6406 Posts   Joined 11.5 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 01:50 PM

http://www.4q.cc/vin/

Just keep refreshing. Hiliarious.
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#2 Doylerulez   Lord CAGiversary!   1311 Posts   Joined 11.3 Years Ago  

Doylerulez

Posted 28 April 2005 - 03:08 PM

WTF :lol:

Vin Diesel has a penis at the end of his toenail


AC:WW Drew - Skypiea 2749-5069-0420
Jump Ultimate Stars: 2792 7016 9554
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#3 dcfox   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   21317 Posts   Joined 11.2 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 03:15 PM

:rofl: When Vin Diesel drinks beer, everyone around him gets drunk.;

One time Vin Diesel was eating at a diner, and when this kid dropped a spoon he killed everyone in the town.

Vin Diesel caught herpes from a Hispanic dodo but got rid of them using only duct tape and an illegitimate African child named Dan.

Vin Diesel plays counter strike and goes by the name "myg0t_ViN+DieSeL=GoDLiKe".


#4 heavy liquid   tastes like burning CAGiversary!   797 Posts   Joined 11.0 Years Ago  

heavy liquid

Posted 28 April 2005 - 03:16 PM

" Vin Diesel actually runs on gasoline. Originally he was called Vin V8, but the vegetable juice people sued him."

#5 KrazyKefka   The Lurking Horror CAGiversary!   1080 Posts   Joined 11.3 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 03:26 PM

"Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist who was first baptized by Vin Diesel. Purposefully holding him underwater, Diesel didn't relent until John acknowledged the suppression of the Sacred Feminine in Hebrew mysticism. He then crashed the Garden of Eden where he ghosted Adam and wore the Serpent as a retro-cool pimp belt. Afterwards, he renamed all the animals species using only anagrams of the letters G, A and R. He later pitched to Jesus a remake of "Guys and Dolls" with the Archangel Michael as Nathan Detroit and Satan as Big Jule. Vin Diesel and Jesus composed the song "Convoy" to pad out the third act".
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Simply OTM, L.L.C.

#6 David Hibiki   Well then... CAGiversary!   9232 Posts   Joined 11.8 Years Ago  

David Hibiki

Posted 28 April 2005 - 05:02 PM

... wow

#7 psiufoxx2   Pouty CAGiversary!   1798 Posts   Joined 9.9 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 05:21 PM

"Vin Diesel once had to choose between saving a baby or the baby's mother from a burning house. Since it wouldn't have been fair to choose, he instead cooked a BLT and peppered the sandwich with their ashes."

omfg

#8 Javery   Drug-Dealer-Keeper-Awayer CAGiversary!   22392 Posts   Joined 11.3 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 05:51 PM

All Vin Diesel's NES games have vowels in their level passwords

--- Bella's Arcade --- Donkey Kong + ---
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#9 Javery   Drug-Dealer-Keeper-Awayer CAGiversary!   22392 Posts   Joined 11.3 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 05:54 PM

Vin Diesel once bet Satan a quarter that he could win a best 2 out of 3 Paper-Rock-Scissors match against the Prince of Darkness. After decisively winning the first two rounds, Vin was forced to give Satan a purple-nurple before he would cough up the 25 cents.

--- Bella's Arcade --- Donkey Kong + ---
___________________



#10 modium   No! Not the Crackslam! CAGiversary!   1653 Posts   Joined 11.8 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 06:50 PM

Vin Diesel doesn't actually have bones or internal organs. Underneath his skin is another slightly smaller Vin Diesel and underneath that is yet another even smaller Vin Diesel. After the third layer his body is filled with rich, creamy nougat.

:drool:

Edit: Had to share this one- "Vin Diesel whizzed on the electric fence."

#11 Ozzkev55   Admitted Primus Fan CAGiversary!   3821 Posts   Joined 10.1 Years Ago  

Ozzkev55

Posted 28 April 2005 - 06:56 PM

vin diesel ironically drinks "unleaded"

#12 the3rdkey   Foot Cheap Ass CAGiversary!   1870 Posts   Joined 11.3 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 07:10 PM

In the movie 'When Harry met Sally', Vin Diesel plays the heavy set older woman who after hearing Meg Ryan perform her own little orgasm says, "I'll have what she's having."
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#13 guessed   Newbie CAGiversary!   7930 Posts   Joined 11.5 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 07:13 PM

...and now a random fact about Vin Diesel:

Google searches Vin Diesel. EDIT: That's not 100% correct. 97 of Google's 132 primary clusters are subcutaneously implanted under Vin's left nipple. However, after the Paris Hilton sidekick fiasco, it was discovered that Vin Diesel lacked sufficient power density and bandwidth to keep Google running smoothly under heavy load, so 35 of the primary search clusters were removed from the actual Vin Diesel, and implanted in his Doppelganger from the Bizarro universe. Bizarro Vin Diesel is a scrawny japanese-american accountant who resides in Murfreesboro, Tennesee.


I am only quoting this because I'm pretty sure I know that accountant.

#14 guessed   Newbie CAGiversary!   7930 Posts   Joined 11.5 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 07:14 PM

In the movie 'When Harry met Sally', Vin Diesel plays the heavy set older woman who after hearing Meg Ryan perform her own little orgasm says, "I'll have what she's having."



Vin Diesel is Rob Reiner's mom?

#15 karsh   Allons-y! CAGiversary!   6433 Posts   Joined 11.2 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 07:23 PM

There are sockets in Vin Diesel's arms and feet for the heads of four smaller Vin Diesels to connect into. Together they merge and become Vin-Diesel-Cator. To date, this has only happened once.

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#16 psiufoxx2   Pouty CAGiversary!   1798 Posts   Joined 9.9 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 07:32 PM

Vin Diesel spelt backwards is "Awesome".

Vin Diesel created Earth as an expansion pack to Command and Conquer.

Vin Diesel coded Diablo by himself, but is not responsible for the console versions.

#17 snotnose_colossal   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   1132 Posts   Joined 10.9 Years Ago  

snotnose_colossal

Posted 28 April 2005 - 07:32 PM

Vin Diesel invented Snapple

When dating girls of Chinese origin, he serenades them by parking his 83 Toyota Tracel under their window and turning his tricked out system as loud as it will go to the song "I'm in love wit chu" by Da Brat...ironically all his Chinese girls have had the last name Chu.

Vin Diesel was circumcised at birth. His foreskin is now a professional golfer that goes by the name Tiger Woods.

#18 Admiral Ackbar   It's a trap! CAGiversary!   15815 Posts   Joined 10.9 Years Ago  

Admiral Ackbar

Posted 28 April 2005 - 07:36 PM

"It is believed by most that Vin Diesel does not feel the need to eat, but does so out of habit. His favourite dishes include the despair of the innocent, the last breath of the dying, and spaghetti bolognaise. "

"Vin Diesel's tears function as autonomous beings, which can also shed tears."

The 2014 E3 Theme: "Coming in 2015."


#19 CoffeeEdge   Resident Communaut CAGiversary!   8535 Posts   Joined 11.4 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 07:36 PM

Vin Diesel is harmful to radiation.

Vin Diesel cannot hear the word Onomatopoeia uttered in his presence. If it is he will stamp his foot three times and then dissolve into a pool of locusts that will devour New Hampshire.
Hi...

DID SOMEBODY SAY "TOOT"?!?
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Posted Image I WILL MOTHERF--KING BAN THE F--KING SHIT OUT OF YOU Posted Image

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#20 Admiral Ackbar   It's a trap! CAGiversary!   15815 Posts   Joined 10.9 Years Ago  

Admiral Ackbar

Posted 28 April 2005 - 07:41 PM

THE BEST!

"HE once challenged the bones of Bruce Lee to a fist fight. And lost."

GO BRUCE LEE!

The 2014 E3 Theme: "Coming in 2015."


#21 Javery   Drug-Dealer-Keeper-Awayer CAGiversary!   22392 Posts   Joined 11.3 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 07:55 PM

It is not laughter that is the best medicine, but Vin Diesel.

Vin Diesel lives his life in "bullet-time".

Vin Diesel came before the chicken AND the egg.

Vin Diesel is, in fact, the real son of God. He didn't need the extra attention, so he found a drugged out hippie named Jesus to take his place. Thousands of years later, Vin found out about Jesus' crusifixion. He simply laughed.

--- Bella's Arcade --- Donkey Kong + ---
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#22 jaykrue   Professor Of Pimpology CAGiversary!   8592 Posts   Joined 11.0 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 07:57 PM

Well, since we're throw absurd stuff here's stupid funny vin diesel-ly stuff:

http://www.reubengat...uriousComic.htm
My new fave anime: Lucky Star

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Prostitution is a combination of sex & free enterprise. Which of those are you opposed to? -SensibleErection

I don't date women with more than zero children -jaykrue

#23 snotnose_colossal   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   1132 Posts   Joined 10.9 Years Ago  

snotnose_colossal

Posted 28 April 2005 - 07:59 PM

In Soviet Russia, Vin Diesel is you

#24 humidore   Pasha CAGiversary!   1880 Posts   Joined 10.4 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 08:01 PM

"It used to be called Vinezuela." :applause:

EDIT: Oh, and the smartass in me first though of just replying "Random Fact #1: It's actually spelled 'Diesel' ", but then i started reading these and it's just hilarious! so who cares...


#25 evilmregg   drinks your milk shake. CAGiversary!   3519 Posts   Joined 11.0 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 09:55 PM

"Vin Diesel has been the creative directer of every Olympic opening and closing ceremony since the St Moritz Winter Games in 1928. However, he refuses to have any involvement in Beijing 2008 as a show of solidarity towards Taiwanese separatists, who supply all of Vin Diesel's cybernetic enhancements. When called by Chinese Olympic officials asking him to reconsider his position on the issue, Vin Diesel simply hung up the phone because he does not speak Chinese."


#26 Ugamer_X   You can trust me CAGiversary!   7616 Posts   Joined 11.2 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 10:09 PM

Vin Diesel in the only person that has beaten Battletoads without dying.

#27 Trakan   Mark IV Style Motherfucker! Super Moderators   18085 Posts   Joined 10.8 Years Ago  

Posted 28 April 2005 - 10:12 PM

Vin Diesel had a colonic once; the result was the Statue of Liberty. I tasted this liberty, and it was good.

#28 RaekwonThaChef   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   723 Posts   Joined 11.2 Years Ago  

RaekwonThaChef

Posted 28 April 2005 - 10:18 PM

These were all a hell of a lot funnier in context on the SomethingAwful.com thread they came from.
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#29 AlbinoNinja   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   2607 Posts   Joined 10.6 Years Ago  

AlbinoNinja

Posted 28 April 2005 - 10:24 PM

Vin Diesel once pitched an idea to Blizzard Entertainment's CEO: "Get this, it's like WarCraft, but in space..."

#30 RaekwonThaChef   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   723 Posts   Joined 11.2 Years Ago  

RaekwonThaChef

Posted 28 April 2005 - 10:24 PM

It's actually pretty lame that they don't give Something Awful or Scoots Magoo any credit anywhere on that site :(
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