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Japanese Nintendo DS Manual: What you shouldn't do with your DS!


#1 CheapyD   Head Cheap Ass Administrators   17095 Posts   Joined 12.3 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 03:28 PM

As I mentioned on one of the CAGcasts, the Japanese Nintendo DS manual sure has a lot of warnings...9 pages of them to be exact.
Since I can't read Japanese too well, I figured I'd just give it my best guess:



Posted ImageWhile a fire looks like a good place to store your Nintendo DS, you may want to consider one of the officially licensed Nintendo cases.


Posted Image If you see this, you have awoken the Genie of the DS!
He's probably pissed off that we made him manufacture these in China for 10 cents an hour. Run away!



Posted ImageThe DS's power cord is too short to be used as effective nunchucks. Instead, Nintendo recommends attaching the DS the the handle of a katana.



Posted ImageIf you DS gets thirsty, be sure to use a straw. He's a sloppy motherfucker.



Posted Image Playing the DS while driving is distracting.
You may find yourself doing odd things like driving on the wrong side of the car.



Posted Image Be sure to keep your DS in close reach of your children.
You wouldn't want your kids straining themselves when they want to play Animal Crossing or take a piss on your DS.



Posted ImageBe sure to use 2 DSs' when attempting to rollerskate.
Using one is just stupid.



Posted Image If your are going to throw your DS out the window, make sure pick a suitable target like your friends' head.
Pretty much anything other than the sidewalk will do.



Posted ImageWhile the DS stylus is tasty, its a much better fit up your nose, or even better, inside your eyelid.



Posted ImageDon't try to bed the DS without taking it out for an expensive meal. Its not a slut like the PSP.



Posted ImagePutting only one DS in your back pocket will make your ass look really weird. Go with two for that Jennifer Lopez look.



Posted Image Posted ImagePushing your fingers through the DS will likely give you some kind of super-human powers ala Electro.
Do not do so unless you can handle the responsibility.

#2 Jaket   Ask me about my Halo 3 stats CAGiversary!   4805 Posts   Joined 11.2 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 03:32 PM

BWAHAHAH classic
still alive

#3 doodle777_98   Trade me your nes games. CAGiversary!   3847 Posts   Joined 10.7 Years Ago  

doodle777_98

Posted 08 December 2005 - 03:33 PM

ha, great comments.

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#4 mykevermin   Queen of Scotland CAGiversary!   36465 Posts   Joined 11.1 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 03:37 PM

Let this be a lesson to those who point the fingers at the United States for being unnecessarily redundant (such as putting "Warning: Hot" notices on coffee cups).

9 pages of redundant, even.
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#5 Ecofreak   That's Ah Bingo!!! CAGiversary!   4101 Posts   Joined 11.3 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 06:19 PM

And I thought America had too many warning lables...
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#6 Vinny   Bang, bang... pew... CAGiversary!   20034 Posts   Joined 11.0 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 06:37 PM

And I thought America had too many warning lables...


Exactly what I was thinking..

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#7 the3rdkey   Foot Cheap Ass CAGiversary!   1870 Posts   Joined 11.7 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 06:48 PM

Something tells me Cheapy put a little of his own cheapy magic into this thread.
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#8 PenguinoMF   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   3411 Posts   Joined 11.5 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 06:50 PM

HAHAHA that is awesome. :rofl:

#9 Quillion   Not Proprietary CAGiversary!   2832 Posts   Joined 10.8 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 07:30 PM

Joystiq'd!

http://www.joystiq.c...34000280071605/

#10 salmonaxxx   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   220 Posts   Joined 11.8 Years Ago  

salmonaxxx

Posted 08 December 2005 - 07:46 PM

Lawl!

#11 dastly75   Resident Squirrel CAGiversary!   3561 Posts   Joined 11.0 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 07:49 PM

funny captions

Cheap Ass Giraffes Grifball Team Captain

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#12 AdamInPlaidum   Wii will rock you. CAGiversary!   3148 Posts   Joined 11.4 Years Ago  

AdamInPlaidum

Posted 08 December 2005 - 07:54 PM

Posted ImageDon't try to bed the DS without taking it out for an expensive meal. Its not a slut like the PSP.

Posted Image Posted ImagePushing your fingers through the DS will likely give you some kind of super-human powers ala Electro.
Do not do so unless you can handle the responsibility.


:rofl: Those two are my favorite. The Spider-Man reference is great.
Currently playing: Viewtiful Joe (DS), Trace Memory (DS), Pokemon Emerald (GBA), Astro Boy (GBA)

#13 PenguinMaster   Sacrilicious CAGiversary!   3636 Posts   Joined 10.9 Years Ago  

PenguinMaster

Posted 08 December 2005 - 08:16 PM

I remember all the warning labels my GBA had when I imported it, do Japanese people actually do all the things pictured?

Digital distribution is the death of the preservation of the arts.

 

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#14 evanft   Wombat needs Nutrisystem. CAGiversary!   6948 Posts   Joined 10.5 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 08:23 PM

Roffle!

#15 The Successful Dropout   eye we tall did CAGiversary!   9551 Posts   Joined 11.3 Years Ago  

The Successful Dropout

Posted 08 December 2005 - 08:30 PM

:lol: :applause:
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#16 froinlaven   Mario Mario! CAGiversary!   145 Posts   Joined 11.6 Years Ago  

froinlaven

Posted 08 December 2005 - 08:53 PM

Awesome. I remember when I got my first PS, there was a similar "do not do" list that had a anthropomorphic PS doing things like taking a shower or shooting electricity at kids(I think).

#17 scdoanintendo   Nintendo = Gaming CAGiversary!   2208 Posts   Joined 11.9 Years Ago  

scdoanintendo

Posted 08 December 2005 - 09:04 PM

A little OT but do you have a DS yet Cheapy?

#18 corrosivefrost   I created this world and you can't keep me here. CAGiversary!   39443 Posts   Joined 10.1 Years Ago  

corrosivefrost

Posted 08 December 2005 - 09:08 PM

Thanks Cheapy, I needed a good laugh. :D

#19 jkam   Smash It Up CAGiversary!   10239 Posts   Joined 11.6 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 09:12 PM

:applause: Sweet Captions!

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#20 mcgavin27   twomanjobs.com CAGiversary!   3977 Posts   Joined 10.5 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 09:37 PM

:rofl:

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#21 Negative   Leave my wallet alone CAGiversary!   1339 Posts   Joined 11.7 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 10:11 PM

I though you said you couldn't read Japanese? Knowing the Japanese, those are dead-on right guesses.

#22 Prepster   The Bulls are Back!!! CAGiversary!   2608 Posts   Joined 10.0 Years Ago  

Posted 08 December 2005 - 10:14 PM

lmfao



Chi-Town Forever baby!




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#23 CheapyD   Head Cheap Ass Administrators   17095 Posts   Joined 12.3 Years Ago  

Posted 09 December 2005 - 12:31 AM

A little OT but do you have a DS yet Cheapy?

Yup, a Graphite one.
Thats how I found the the over the top safety warnings.

#24 sblymnlcrymnl   married ... with children CAGiversary!   30090 Posts   Joined 11.7 Years Ago  

sblymnlcrymnl

Posted 09 December 2005 - 02:31 AM

:rofl:

#25 Graystone   ` CAGiversary!   15662 Posts   Joined 11.1 Years Ago  

Posted 09 December 2005 - 04:01 AM

Now that I think about all nintendo stuff comes with warning. Stuff that should keep parents from buying stuff at all. They have warning seizures on everything. Nothing as funny as cheapy's stuff.

#26 Dkellar   D I Y CAGiversary!   4455 Posts   Joined 10.4 Years Ago  

Posted 09 December 2005 - 04:27 AM

This makes me want to import a DS!

#27 Timothyx   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   54 Posts   Joined 10.5 Years Ago  

Timothyx

Posted 09 December 2005 - 04:58 AM

haha...nice Cheapy. Keep these stories from Japan coming, I check everyday!
that monkey stole my snowcone.

#28 2poor   Luckless CAGiversary!   5678 Posts   Joined 10.8 Years Ago  

Posted 09 December 2005 - 05:58 AM

LOL
classic

#29 Over easy   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   1606 Posts   Joined 11.1 Years Ago  

Posted 12 December 2005 - 06:48 PM

So I decide to dig up my Japanese DS manual since I didn't read the manual at all when I got my DS from Hong Kong (why would I read the manual if I don't understand Japanese?).

Yep, haha it's there. Good find Cheapy!
Posted Image

#30 Javery   Drug-Dealer-Keeper-Awayer CAGiversary!   22393 Posts   Joined 11.7 Years Ago  

Posted 12 December 2005 - 07:30 PM

I finally listened to that CAGcast this morning and I was thinking it would be cool if you posted the pics... very funny stuff...

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