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Chuck responds to fact generator...


#1 Guest_Apossum_*

Guest_Apossum_*

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:32 AM

AND THE LORD SAID....buy my book

http://www.chucknorr...tml/events.aspx

IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET

I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris



#2 bobo2k4   OooSplendiforous CAGiversary!   3182 Posts   Joined 11.6 Years Ago  

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:34 AM

I love the way he plugs in his books.
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Props to Ozzkev for the sig.

#3 2poor   Luckless CAGiversary!   5678 Posts   Joined 10.9 Years Ago  

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:37 AM

He knows he loves the publicity.

#4 Dr Mario Kart   SD/2D Defense Force CAGiversary!   10945 Posts   Joined 11.7 Years Ago  

Dr Mario Kart

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:42 AM

Whats the internet? Buy my book

#5 Blade   Xenaphobic, Warrior Princess CAGiversary!   10529 Posts   Joined 10.2 Years Ago  

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:49 AM

I once heard that Chuck Norris gave up professional acting because he just flipped out and killed everyone on the set of Walker Texas Ranger because the black guy brought him a raspberry-filled donut when he specifically asked for strawberry.

I suppose when you orgasm everytime you kick like he does, it gives you a big incentive to keep kicking.

#6 Zenithian Legend   Banned Banned   13122 Posts   Joined 11.3 Years Ago  

Zenithian Legend

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:50 AM

Whats the internet? Buy my book


:rofl:

Like Isiah Thomas and his candybars, or more recently his crazy trades.

Chuck Norris, what a gem. Soon he'll be using the publicity to pimp out his total gym.
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#7 Blade   Xenaphobic, Warrior Princess CAGiversary!   10529 Posts   Joined 10.2 Years Ago  

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:53 AM

Chuck Norris, what a gem. Soon he'll be using the publicity to pimp out his total gym.


He can't. He's in hiding. Chuck Norris is wanted by the CIA for crimes against humanity, and all of his Total Gym commercials are indirectly broadcasted through a satellite on Wayne Knight's back (he's that fat). They superimpose Christie Brinkley's face on Eric Robert's body, whom Chuck is holding hostage.

#8 Jaket   Ask me about my Halo 3 stats CAGiversary!   4805 Posts   Joined 11.3 Years Ago  

Posted 24 February 2006 - 04:54 AM

Chuck Norris doesn't respond to facts... facts respond to him
still alive

#9 Xevious   Most Damned CAG Evar CAGiversary!   8902 Posts   Joined 11.2 Years Ago  

Posted 24 February 2006 - 05:34 AM

I never heard about these "Random facts". I guess I've been living in the wild west too.

Damn you xevious...

Damn you Xevious... damn you to hell.....

Damn you Xevious be quiet.

So you know EBM? Damn you Xevious...




#10 Blade   Xenaphobic, Warrior Princess CAGiversary!   10529 Posts   Joined 10.2 Years Ago  

Posted 24 February 2006 - 05:47 AM

http://www.4q.cc/ind...ct&person=chuck

"Chuck Norris was born with testicles of such great size that when they dropped they made the crater that destroyed the dinosaurs. Today that crater is known as the Atlantic Ocean."

#11 The Dord   Game Center CX fan CAGiversary!   728 Posts   Joined 10.7 Years Ago  

Posted 24 February 2006 - 02:43 PM

www.chucknorrisfacts.com

Original site, plus now you can buy shirts with chuck norris quotes on them.. for the WIN! :lol:


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#12 The Dord   Game Center CX fan CAGiversary!   728 Posts   Joined 10.7 Years Ago  

Posted 25 February 2006 - 09:59 AM

And the site is down.. Wonder what happened?


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#13 Sleepkyng   doesn't even exist any more CAGiversary!   5750 Posts   Joined 10.6 Years Ago  

Posted 25 February 2006 - 10:05 AM

my all time favorite is - Chuck norris can make a woman orgasm just by pointing at her and saying "booyah"

#14 wubb   CAGiversary! CAGiversary!   20114 Posts   Joined 11.7 Years Ago  

Posted 25 February 2006 - 02:02 PM

Pretty sure that's more a response from Chuck's publicist than from the man himself. Too bad they didn't get creative and fashion some sort of response in the vein of a Chuck Norris fact or two. Could've been classic.

Heck, Jaket's line would have been great.

Chuck Norris doesn't respond to facts... facts respond to him


And the site is down.. Wonder what happened?


Wow, I wonder what's the story with that? Think the owner let his domain registration lapse? Actually I don't think that's it, but if you do a whois lookup:

Registrar: DOTSTER
Domain Name: CHUCKNORRISFACTS.COM
Created on: 20-DEC-05
Expires on: 20-DEC-06
Last Updated on: 24-FEB-06

So something was updated yesterday? Maybe it's moving servers or something, I'm not too up on what that would mean.

#15 The Dord   Game Center CX fan CAGiversary!   728 Posts   Joined 10.7 Years Ago  

Posted 25 February 2006 - 09:24 PM

It's back up again.. whew!! :lol:


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#16 dudecool320   COOKIES YAY! CAGiversary!   199 Posts   Joined 10.4 Years Ago  

dudecool320

Posted 26 February 2006 - 12:52 AM

Chuck Norris had son. His name is GOD:booty:
"I can eat a box of cookies for dinner if I wanted too. What, can you do that? No. Cause Your a fart face kid." Will FerrellPosted Image Posted Image



#17 Rocko   Hurm. CAGiversary!   38778 Posts   Joined 10.2 Years Ago  

Posted 26 February 2006 - 01:25 AM

I'm so sick of these.

#18 humidore   Pasha CAGiversary!   1880 Posts   Joined 10.9 Years Ago  

Posted 26 February 2006 - 02:12 AM

There's a really personal and sad story under "trivia" for him on imdb.com.


#19 Blade   Xenaphobic, Warrior Princess CAGiversary!   10529 Posts   Joined 10.2 Years Ago  

Posted 26 February 2006 - 03:55 AM

Everybody knows there's no such thing as the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, or the Tooth Fairy...Chuck Norris took care of that.

#20 Admiral Ackbar   It's a trap! CAGiversary!   15837 Posts   Joined 11.4 Years Ago  

Admiral Ackbar

Posted 26 February 2006 - 03:58 AM

"Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match."

The 2014 E3 Theme: "Coming in 2015."


#21 ph33r m3   C.A.G. Legend CAGiversary!   3795 Posts   Joined 11.7 Years Ago  

ph33r m3

Posted 26 February 2006 - 03:58 AM

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush
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#22 Blade   Xenaphobic, Warrior Princess CAGiversary!   10529 Posts   Joined 10.2 Years Ago  

Posted 26 February 2006 - 11:51 PM

Chuck Norris once made a pronounciation mistake on aspergers disease. The disease was so ashamed that it went into recession, and nobody has had it since.

#23 The Dord   Game Center CX fan CAGiversary!   728 Posts   Joined 10.7 Years Ago  

Posted 11 March 2006 - 11:32 PM

Found the "ONE" weakness of Chuck Norris

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#24 Fire   Burn! Burn! CAGiversary!   1833 Posts   Joined 10.8 Years Ago  

Posted 11 March 2006 - 11:44 PM

I love these Chuck Norris "facts" . There awesome!

#25 Fire   Burn! Burn! CAGiversary!   1833 Posts   Joined 10.8 Years Ago  

Posted 11 March 2006 - 11:46 PM

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

#26 Demolition Man   REV-OH-LU-TION! CAGiversary!   14830 Posts   Joined 11.2 Years Ago  

Demolition Man

Posted 12 March 2006 - 02:26 AM

Jack Bauer doesn't respond to facts... facts respond to him


Please... get your facts straight as we all know Jack Bauer > Chuck Norris. :D

New sig coming soon.


#27 Blade   Xenaphobic, Warrior Princess CAGiversary!   10529 Posts   Joined 10.2 Years Ago  

Posted 12 March 2006 - 04:15 AM

Found the "ONE" weakness of Chuck Norris

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This is merely a stunt double placed in Chuck's standzone to make people assume he isn't invincible.

Chuck Norris can make anyone look like him.