You might be an old school gamer if the following phrase brings back nostalgic memories:
"You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. There is a small mailbox here."
I'd definitely get Paper Mario because if I'm going to spend 10 dollars, I'd want to get some time out of that investment and then I'd save the rest for WiiWare.
Resident Evil... I could see you in a bizzare daycare, hitting toddlers with fluffy pillows. I'd probably perfer it too, because survival horror games scare me.