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If anyone remembers my old blog, I started a new one. Many reasons, but overall this one is better. Enjoy. fuckmytable.wordpress.com (It's the f-word!)

So you're basically saying anyone who looks like they would wear a certain type of clothing (based on their looks of all things, when clothing is typically dependent on personality) who is wearing a polo is the only person who could be mistaken for an employee? Polos are typically worn by...

I've had customers not tip me on Sunday and tell me I should "be in church". Assholes. Anyway, my best customers are usually on Sunday, surprisingly enough. I'm very kid friendly and go out of my way to entertain kids, so I tell the hostess to seat me with families with small kids (since it...

Waited on a rather large table this morning. This lady asked all sorts of questions, including the difference between our classic and smoked chicken tacos. So after I finally got all the food out to the table I asked if everything looked alright. Yes. Came back later to ask if it tasted...

^ Well played. :)

Worked last night on Christmas Eve. I wished a table "Merry Christmas" and they said, "You too" with a smile. Left me $0.00 for a tip and wrote "I'm Jewish" on their receipt. People like that piss me off because: 1. We aren't living in Germany in the 1940s when Jews were identifiable because...

^ People do things like that because people let them get away with it. If stores didn't cater to the customer to the point of insanity, customers would probably be a little more courteous and not so asshole-ish.

I love when a customer asks me to do something for them that is something I CAN'T do for them unless I know who their server is (i.e. print their check or take their payment) and then can't tell me who their server is. I dropped off a dessert at a table and the couple asked for the check...

Oh. My. God. Okay, so we have some Honey-Chipotle Chicken Crispers on our menu. Lady orders those crispers but without, and I quote, "the chipotle sauce", so I say sure. I bring it to her and I kid you not, she looks at me and goes, "I SAID leave off the CHIPOTLE. I want the honey!" Oh dear...

Because she keeps getting free food, of course. She's not there REALLY often, just maybe once or twice a month...but STILL... My managers (we have four) typically don't make waves because corporate is looking to axe "underperforming managers" or "disharmonious managers" because during "these...

^ I don't know if anyone is familiar with my "queso story"...if not, you can read it here. Anyway, this same lady is a regular customer (as I learned shortly after the queso incident) and she came in this weekend and got me for her server. Imagine my joy. So they order queso...eat almost all...

Our restaurant not only has guest surveys and managers visiting every table, but ALSO secret shoppers on our ass now. Good. Lord. I feel your pain on those damn surveys. I hate them.

Salamando, that reminds me of my first job...I was 17, and was hired at a small family-owned Italian food restaurant. I was hired to be a server, hostess, and busboy (girl!) all in one. That got to be pretty hectic on a busy weekend, and don't even get me started on holidays! Anyway the owner...

We ran out of everything at my restaurant today: to-go boxes, to-go cups, lemons, you name it. We ran out of ice cream right after we had a huge influx of dessert orders. Five of our seven dessert options have ice cream on them. I had to go explain to three tables that they would need to choose...

New post on my blog. SEH, I feel you there. I just do graphic design-esque things for fun and am frequently asked by my mother to design business cards or flyers or a logo or...you get the idea. Anyway, I work AND go to school so my free time is very limited and I like to spend it doing things...

I love answering questions over the phone like "What time do you guys open today?" (at 2pm might I add), "I don't know what's on the menu, can you read it to me?" during the middle of our dinner rush, and "Are you guys busy? Will you be busy in an hour?" at any and every time of day. In order...

At least he gave consent for treatment and the cat wasn't left in limbo like the dog was. Still, the vet's office probably had to eat that one. Not the dog, the cost. ;)

Well we make $2.13 an hour but if we did not make minimum wage after factoring in our tips (and tipshare) for the hours worked on a particular day, they are required by law to bring our pay up to minimum wage. We just don't get it in cash at the end of the night like the rest of our earnings...

I don't mind the tipshare. I mean, 1% of my sales for each the busser and bartender is usually okay by me. They help me do my job and without them I couldn't make the money I do. My problem is when people don't tip me at all or leave pocket change because then that money (or some of my own)...

We have a "3 courses, 2 people, 1 price" promotion right now that offers an appetizer, two entrees and a dessert for $20. At the bottom of the promotion page it clearly states that drinks, gratuity, and tax are not included. A group of 8 people came in to eat and first question out of their...