10 Reasons Kerry Lost

bignick

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Got this from www.shortnews.com forums. Not sure where they originally came from, but funny.

Top 10 Reasons Kerry Lost

10) Europeans supported him, the same people who consider Benny Hill to be "high culture."

9) Rappers and other popular celebrities endorsed Kerry, but the people who would consider them worth listening to were stoned on election day.

8) Despite having some physical characterists of both, Kerry was neither as funny as Jay Leno or as smart as Herman Munster.

7) Kerry supporters spent all day "getting out the vote," and missed out on voting themselves.

6) Kerry supporters realized that they wouldn't have the time to vote and get back home during the commercial breaks of their favorite TV shows.

5) Kerry supporters spent election day in prison after beating up on Bush supporters and destroy private property.

4) Kerry supporters missed election day due to arguing with people on the Internet about why they were going to vote for Kerry.

3) Kerry supporters were all worried about being "Floridian" and stayed away from the polls for fear of screwing up their ballots.

2) Kerry supporters *really* listened to Kerry's wife for once and voted for Bush to spite their own bitchy, naggy wives.

1) Kerry supporters are sheep, and were all waiting for someone to take them to the polls and hold their hands the entire way through.
 
[quote name='bignick']8) Despite having some physical characterists of both, Kerry was neither as funny as Jay Leno or as smart as Herman Munster.

[/quote]

Ouch, that one stung the most. :) lol
 
Thank god nobody around here knows about any issues, that would be disastrous to vote for who would help the country the most.
 
[quote name='Quackzilla']Thank god nobody around here knows about any issues, that would be disastrous to vote for who would help the country the most.[/quote]

BUSH WON.... WOOOO
 
btw here are lettermans top 10, the original post was much funnier tho

Top Ten John Kerry Excuses

10. Voters were in a fever-induced haze because they couldn't get flu shots.

9. Floridians confused by shockingly unconfusing ballots.

8. Maybe it wasn't best idea to begin speeches with "yo mama is so fat" jokes.

7. The endorsement from Osama Bin Laden didn't exactly help him.

6. "Dude--it's the Curse of the Bambino."

5. Should've campaigned more in New Mexico, less in regular Mexico.

4. Turns out voters think it's hot that Cheney has a lesbian daughter.

3. Thought America was ready for a lunatic first lady.

2. Voters seem to really like a weak economy and a badly-run war.

1. Was distracted by late night erotic phone calls from Bill O'Reilly.
 
Heh, both lists are pretty good, my fav is
"Kerry supporters missed election day due to arguing with people on the Internet about why they were going to vote for Kerry."
 
the reason bush lost is because america is full of homophobics..and they're so scared of binladen..like he's going to attack alabama or any of the other red(neck) states..fucking wimps...
 
[quote name='pfunkpearl']the reason bush lost is because america is full of homophobics..and they're so scared of binladen..like he's going to attack alabama or any of the other red(neck) states..shaq-fuing wimps...[/quote]

???
 
[quote name='bignick']
8 ) Despite having some physical characterists of both, Kerry was neither as funny as Jay Leno or as smart as Herman Munster.


4) Kerry supporters missed election day due to arguing with people on the Internet about why they were going to vote for Kerry.
[/quote]

Those were pretty funny. The others were just kinda dumb. The Letterman ones were mostly pretty good.
 
[quote name='pfunkpearl']the reason bush lost is because america is full of homophobics..and they're so scared of binladen..like he's going to attack alabama or any of the other red(neck) states..shaq-fuing wimps...[/quote]

BUSH WON! WOOOO
 
[quote name='Cracka'][quote name='pfunkpearl']the reason bush lost is because america is full of homophobics..and they're so scared of binladen..like he's going to attack alabama or any of the other red(neck) states..shaq-fuing wimps...[/quote]

BUSH WON! WOOOO[/quote]

Cracka ass cracka :lol:
 
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