100 Games Giveaway!

Woooho. I've "liked" the page for a while and I hope to win something!

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

kekekke
 
Been part of the Kartel for a while now, didnt know you guys had a facebook page.
Liked!!
as for the joke, cant go wrong with a good chuck norris fact:

A while ago, Chuck Norris gave away some of his watches to a bunch of kids.
These kids are now known as... The Power Rangers!
 
A group of friends want to go out and have fun. One friend wants to a strip club, Two friends want to go to the movies, and three friends want to go to a concert.

Since more friends want to go to the concert they decide to go there but on the way the one friend says guys at least let me buy a hooker for the night. OK they say but we're dropping to off and we will meet you at the concert.

As a joke they drive out of there way to a crack head hood and let him out of the car.

He didn't realize it was a bad hood at first so he went up to a girl that looked OK from a long way away and at night. Then he realized he was in a bad hood when he saw a nasty hooker and a crack head pimp in the alley. He was so pissed but he bought the hooker and went to the concert in a cab.

He paid the hooker extra money to go hit on his friends at the concert to get revenge.

The hooker would not stop bothering the friends over and over following them rubbing her body on them and kissing them. When he thought they had enough he called off the hooker and went up to the friends and asked are you guys having fun.

They said yeah man some hot bitch was hanging out with us all night. She was so hot but she left and we don't know were she went.
 
sure i will give it a shot at winning

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
 
I went to a japanese buffet last night with some buddies. One of my buddies got a whole bunch of food (way too much) just to taste a little bit of everything. He figured it didnt matter since you could eat as much as you want and pay the flat buffet price. Then I told him that you get charged by the pound for all the food thats left on your plate when you decide to leave. So, he bought my bs and ate everything.
He was pretty pissed when we got the check, and all three of us had to pay the same amount (my other friend and I still had leftovers on our plates). but he was too full to do anything about it.
...Thats what he gets for not paying me back for street fighter 4
 
Possibly my favorite joke of all time:

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A: A brick.


Q: What's blue and smells like red paint?

A: Blue paint.
 
Two men are playing a round of golf when they get stuck behind two women. Eventually one of the men walks over to ask if they can play through. He scuttles back and says, "When I got closer, I realized it was my wife and mistress," he says. "You go and ask them instead."

The other one walks over to the women but hurries back and says, "Small world."

Courtesy of the lovely Miss Violante Placido and Esquire Magazine. ;)
 
So I was thinking of something funny and came up with this....

Ready?

Are you sure you're ready?


Wait for it.....

Ooops, forgot the punchline 0_0
 
Thanks for the contest. I don't have any jokes, but I used to own a Philips CD-i. That's pretty funny. Or just plain embarrassing!
 
Nice contest :D

Shooting the Bull

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success.

Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull.

They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him."

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?"

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."
 
There once was an old woman who lived with nobody but her dog. One day, she was shopping at the market when she saw a stall with a lamp, and asked about it. She was told it held a djinni inside that would grant its master three wishes, so she bought the it, and rushed home excitedly.

At home, she rubbed the lamp, and a djinni came out as she was told it would. "You are my master, and I will grant you three wishes", it said. "What is your first wish?"

The old woman thought for a moment, before wishing for immense wealth. Her home was suddenly a mansion, filled with riches and antiques.

"That was your first wish, my master", the djinni said. "What is your second wish?"

The old woman thought again for a moment, and wished to be young and beautiful again. Suddenly, she was as she had been decades before, attractive and fit and all that comes with.

"That was your second wish, my master", said the djinni. "What is your third?"

She thought for a moment more, more cautiously as it was her last wish. Finally, she decided. "I wish my dog was a handsome young man, who would love me and care for me and stay with me forever." Her wish was granted, and her dog was instantly the man she had hoped for, and with the third wish granted, the djinni and its lamp faded away.

Now alone with each other, the man went over to the woman and began kissing her neck. After a moment of this, with her perfectly happy, he whispered in her ear, "Damn, don't you wish you didn't have me neutered?"
 
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Alright liked the page and leaving a comment here.

Not really a joke teller so not gonna attempt that part.
 
hahah how do you like deadpool yet have no jokes to tell

oh and i liked the page and posted here this is my first contest so i hope i have beginners luck
 
I liked the FB page and am posting here. Thanks for the chance to win. Here is a joke too...

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
 
Thanks for doing this contest. Liked the FB page. Here's my joke.

A pregnant dog went into labor on the side of a road. A cop pulled up next to her and said " Your arrested." When she asked, "What for?", he responded, "Littering." hahaha................................
 
Liked and commented. Best of luck, all!

Edit: Ah yes, a joke.

A duck walks into a hardware store, jumps up on the counter, and says "Got any grapes?" The owner says "No, this is a hardware store." The duck jumps off the counter and leaves.

Next day, the duck comes back, jumps up on the counter, and says "Got any grapes?" The owner says, "Aren't you the same duck that was in here yesterday?" The duck stares at him in a friendly, oblivious manner. "Get out of here," the owner says, and the duck does.

The next day, the duck comes back again, jumps up on the counter, and says, "Got any grapes?" The owner stares at him a moment, then says, "Look, ducky. If you come in here one more time, jump up on this counter, and ask about grapes--you do that one more time, and I'm going to nail your little webbed feet to the floor. Got it?" The duck smiles, as friendly as ever, turns, and leaves.

The next day, the duck comes back yet again. He jumps up on the counter, and he says "Got any nails?"

"NO!" the owner says.

"Got any grapes?" the duck replies.
 
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