2005 liberal awards

alonzomourning23

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Husband of the Year: Michael Schiavo. For having his wife starved to death, despite promising to take care of her for the rest of her life in trying to get a big fat court settlement, Schiavo receives the prestigious ‘Husband of the Year’ award. In addition to refusing to divorce Terri and allow her parents to care for her, Schiavo went on to have an out-of-wedlock affair that produced two children and his and hers Mercedes, had her body cremated despite her religious Catholic following, and, to throw salt on the wound, recently announced the launch of “Terri Pac.”

Jane Fonda Award for Anti-Americanism: Cindy Sheehan. For dragging her brave son’s name through a dirty, nasty, self-serving, Anti-American protest against President Bush and the U.S. Armed Forces, Cindy “oh-God-that-voice” Sheehan captures the JFAAA. She even released a book and “toured” in Spain. Cindy gets bonus points for accusing the National Guard of holding an illegal occupation in New Orleans post-hurricane.

Jane Fonda-Wannabe Award for Anti-Americanism: Jane Fonda. Inspired by Cindy Sheehan’s anti-war popularity, Jane Fonda tried to live up to, well, herself, and become as hated as she was back during the Vietnam War. Unfortunately with Hussein no longer in power, Fonda had no friendly tanks to hoist herself onto and her anti-war campaign was a failure.

The “non-profit” of the Year: Planned Parenthood. For their commitment to “family values” and for the liberal-pleasing slaughter of hundreds-of-thousands of “clusters of cells” in the name of “reproductive health matters”, Planned Parenthood is without a doubt the non-profit of the year. Unfortunately for young teenage girls across America, the organization has run out of “I had an Abortion” t-shirts.

Luckily I already have mine
ihaatshirt6ee.jpg
.

Liberal Business Model of the Year: Air America. For hijacking $850,000 from a taxpayer-funded Boys and Girls Club, having to resort to NPR-like fund-raising to stay on air, and for maintaining their 7 nation-wide listeners, Air America is by far the biggest liberal business success story of the year. In addition, the liberal talkers made many “hilarious” suggestions that various members of the Bush administration be either shot or “put to death.” Also, with a spokeswoman like Janeane Garfalo, how can you be a loser?

Republican Strategist of the Year: Howard Dean. By not getting the presidential nomination in 2004, Howard Dean was instead awarded the chairmanship of the DNC and quickly earned his pins as one of the GOP’s best strategists. When liberal Democrats have to tell their party head to shut up, you know things are definitely looking up for them in 2006.

Faker of the Year: Hillary Clinton. While this has nothing to do with her husband Bill – we want to know nothing about that, thank you – Hillary Clinton takes home the award for Faker of the Year. Proving that she is easily the smartest man in the Democratic Party, Clinton has managed to be the moderate voice about Iraq and many other issues in her plans for the White House. Indeed, the JFAAA award-winner Sheehan even opposes her.

http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_27262401.shtml
 
They could have expanded that list but it's not bad.

I will say that Howard Dean is the best thing to happen to Republican fundraising and support since Ronald Reagan. He makes more Regan Democrats that Bush 41 and 43 combined.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Jane Fonda did something this year?[/QUOTE]

I remember her speaking to the National Press Club (and characterizing the war as a "my dick is bigger than yours" stubborn male thing), but not much else.
 
[quote name='elprincipe']I remember her speaking to the National Press Club (and characterizing the war as a "my dick is bigger than yours" stubborn male thing), but not much else.[/QUOTE]
That certainly doesn't make her stand out, now, does it?
 
[quote name='elprincipe']I remember her speaking to the National Press Club (and characterizing the war as a "my dick is bigger than yours" stubborn male thing), but not much else.[/QUOTE]

Reminds me of george carlin:


You believe in god?
No.
BOOM! Dead.
You believe in god?
Yes.
Do you believe in MY god?
No.
BOOM! Dead!
My god has a bigger dick than your god!

and

I see it largely as an exercise in dick-waving. That's really all it is: alot of men standing around in a field waving their dicks at one another. Men, insecure abuot the size of their penises, choose to kill one another.

Men are terrified that their dicks are inadequate, and so they have to 'compete' in order to feel better about themselves. And since war is the ultimate competition, essentially men are killing one another in order to improve their genital self-esteem.

You needn't be a historian or a political scientist to see the Bigger Dick
Foreign Policy Theory at work. It goes like this: 'What? They have bigger
dicks? Bomb them!' And of course, the bombs, the rockets, and the bullets
are all shaped like penises. Phallic weapons. There's an unconscious need to
project the national penis into the affairs of others. It's called 'fucking
with people'
 
[quote name='evanft']Conservatives really don't know how to be funny.[/QUOTE]
I'm sure that, from time to time, they really do say/write/perform something funny. However, I think you're very very correct here. Two of my favorite comedians of all time (Bill Hicks and George Carlin) get their best material from ripping on republican ideologies, warmongers, and religious zealots (*especially* Carlin).

OTOH, you *could* call the Redneck comedians (The "Blue Collar" guys, ironically enough) "conservative," but I wouldn't really fight to demand they be classified as such (they don't really touch politics at all, do they?)

Regarding your point, evan, I think that we *let* them take Dennis Miller in 2001. ;)

Are there (I ask very seriously) any excellent comedians who could be called "conservative," or shall we chalk up their virtual nonexistence to some sort of entertainment-liberal saturation :)roll: )?
 
This culture of hate in America is getting to be like that in other countries such as Israel, and hell even like the cartoon gundam shido.

It's sickening. I mean, seriously, what the fuck?

These people need to just die, stop raising their kids as little soldiers of whatever the fuck their parents believe in.

Do these people really WANT a third world war?
 
[quote name='mykevermin']I'm sure that, from time to time, they really do say/write/perform something funny. However, I think you're very very correct here. Two of my favorite comedians of all time (Bill Hicks and George Carlin) get their best material from ripping on republican ideologies, warmongers, and religious zealots (*especially* Carlin).

OTOH, you *could* call the Redneck comedians (The "Blue Collar" guys, ironically enough) "conservative," but I wouldn't really fight to demand they be classified as such (they don't really touch politics at all, do they?)

Regarding your point, evan, I think that we *let* them take Dennis Miller in 2001. ;)

Are there (I ask very seriously) any excellent comedians who could be called "conservative," or shall we chalk up their virtual nonexistence to some sort of entertainment-liberal saturation :)roll: )?[/QUOTE]

I remember when Deniis Miller was funny. Oh wait....
 
[quote name='alonzomourning23']No, I assume it has something to do with dicks right?[/QUOTE]

But of course, with hilarious results. Basically the Americans ignore the Japanese plot to bomb Pearl Harbor again because the Japanese keep telling everyone, from the South Park locals to Bill Clinton, about how their dicks are so much bigger than the Japanese's.

[quote name='evanft']I remember when Deniis Miller was funny. Oh wait....[/QUOTE]

When was that?
 
[quote name='mykevermin']OTOH, you *could* call the Redneck comedians (The "Blue Collar" guys, ironically enough) "conservative," but I wouldn't really fight to demand they be classified as such (they don't really touch politics at all, do they?)[/QUOTE]
They rarely touch "funny" either.
 
[quote name='PittsburghAfterDark']I will say that Howard Dean is the best thing to happen to Republican fundraising and support since Ronald Reagan. He makes more Regan Democrats that Bush 41 and 43 combined.[/QUOTE]

Speaking of Dean: The numbers are in for 2005 Democratic fundraising - $51M. That's about 20% more than 2003. Its pretty clear why the Republicans are so fond of attacking Dean - he's doing an excellent job.

The Republicans (as always) raised significantly more money, around $100M. Fundraising is a lot easier when you have people like Abramoff on your side, though.
 
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