alonzomourning23
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 26 (100%)
Husband of the Year: Michael Schiavo. For having his wife starved to death, despite promising to take care of her for the rest of her life in trying to get a big fat court settlement, Schiavo receives the prestigious ‘Husband of the Year’ award. In addition to refusing to divorce Terri and allow her parents to care for her, Schiavo went on to have an out-of-wedlock affair that produced two children and his and hers Mercedes, had her body cremated despite her religious Catholic following, and, to throw salt on the wound, recently announced the launch of “Terri Pac.”
Jane Fonda Award for Anti-Americanism: Cindy Sheehan. For dragging her brave son’s name through a dirty, nasty, self-serving, Anti-American protest against President Bush and the U.S. Armed Forces, Cindy “oh-God-that-voice” Sheehan captures the JFAAA. She even released a book and “toured” in Spain. Cindy gets bonus points for accusing the National Guard of holding an illegal occupation in New Orleans post-hurricane.
Jane Fonda-Wannabe Award for Anti-Americanism: Jane Fonda. Inspired by Cindy Sheehan’s anti-war popularity, Jane Fonda tried to live up to, well, herself, and become as hated as she was back during the Vietnam War. Unfortunately with Hussein no longer in power, Fonda had no friendly tanks to hoist herself onto and her anti-war campaign was a failure.
The “non-profit” of the Year: Planned Parenthood. For their commitment to “family values” and for the liberal-pleasing slaughter of hundreds-of-thousands of “clusters of cells” in the name of “reproductive health matters”, Planned Parenthood is without a doubt the non-profit of the year. Unfortunately for young teenage girls across America, the organization has run out of “I had an Abortion” t-shirts.
Luckily I already have mine

Liberal Business Model of the Year: Air America. For hijacking $850,000 from a taxpayer-funded Boys and Girls Club, having to resort to NPR-like fund-raising to stay on air, and for maintaining their 7 nation-wide listeners, Air America is by far the biggest liberal business success story of the year. In addition, the liberal talkers made many “hilarious” suggestions that various members of the Bush administration be either shot or “put to death.” Also, with a spokeswoman like Janeane Garfalo, how can you be a loser?
Republican Strategist of the Year: Howard Dean. By not getting the presidential nomination in 2004, Howard Dean was instead awarded the chairmanship of the DNC and quickly earned his pins as one of the GOP’s best strategists. When liberal Democrats have to tell their party head to shut up, you know things are definitely looking up for them in 2006.
Faker of the Year: Hillary Clinton. While this has nothing to do with her husband Bill – we want to know nothing about that, thank you – Hillary Clinton takes home the award for Faker of the Year. Proving that she is easily the smartest man in the Democratic Party, Clinton has managed to be the moderate voice about Iraq and many other issues in her plans for the White House. Indeed, the JFAAA award-winner Sheehan even opposes her.
http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_27262401.shtml