First Annual Box of Dicks Forum Bill 8000D is up for debate *New Motions Added*

Strell

Strell

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Too long has our noble forum-land gone without proper box of dicks appropriations and law measures. This will not stand erect, dividing the two shores of our great digital country in twain and then repeatedly pounding the center into pulpy, messy oblivion. The foreskin fathers did not have such round and right penetration when they envisioned our great nation, and it is past time for us to bang out official stances, poses, positions, and joy-inducing apparatti with regard to who, how, and how often they can partake in blissful carton of cock pleasure.

This bill, written by, for, and of blood-engorged people, will tackle such matters. It is officially up for discussion as of the drop of the balls. *ding dong*

List of Honorable Represhaftatives:
  • Strell, presiding Archmaster
  • The Crotch, hailing from Dongada
  • Mykevermin, rollerdongby extraordinare
  • Clak, Minority Whip
  • RAMstoria, Whinority Mip
  • nasum, damn near killed 'em
  • Quillion, which I probably mispronounce on a usual basis
  • Friend of Sonic, speedlord

Motion 1: Dick Storage and Transportive Methods
  • I am currently pro-box.
  • I am anti-burlap sack.
  • I am for taxing elitist dick holding leather briefcases, which I like to call dickatchels.
    • Let the shaft of reason show that dicksters not be considered in this bill. They were not born that way - it was their choice. I also have it on good authority that God hates dicksters, and centuries old written text to support this claim, written right around the time people still thought the sun revolved around the flat Earth. "Don't Acknowledge Dickster Tactics" - or DADT - is to be in full effect.
  • Banana holders are approved, but tend to be horribly inefficient and even then only work part of the time. This is really more reserved for the rich and powerful elite, who feel the need to enclose their penii within stupidly overpriced bullshit to further the pissing contest they have with each other.
  • Breadboxes are allowed, but only under strict scrutiny, as descriptions of contents are absolutely required legally. Acceptable examples include "Pumperdickel Bread" and "Whole Groin."

Motion 2: Approved Verbiage with respect to boxes of dicks
  • Senator The Crotch, state of Dongada, proposes that eating a box of dicks is not kosher. He goes on to validate propelling one's rectum toward the box of dicks, so that the great treasure contained therein will soon be the great treasures contained within. Upon anointing another person with such suggestions it is binding that the accuser tell the accusee to leap with vigor and vim, aiming for the highest number possible for maximum bonus points, which in turn will activate the multiball.
  • Currently, ingestion of said box of dicks is prohibited. Counter appelate legislation is underway.
  • One is free to suggest to another that they perform daily chores with the box of dicks. "Paint your house with a box of dicks" is, as we all know, a hallowed phrase in American history.
    • There are to be no restrictions if the bread is used to construct other food forms. A manwich is allowed. A double dicker is fine too.

Motion 3: Dicks and Boxes and Sexual Education and YOU
Currently a consensus has not been reached. The Reballicans believe education will lead to ravenous and wild box of dicks related activities with wild abandon, and choose to completely disavow knowledge in education circles. Dickocrats hold firm that such should be introduced immediately, as the sooner children are exposed to penile packaging, the sooner this highly important legislation can be put into the effect for the betterment of all society, mankind, and humanity at bulbous large.

Motion 4: Dick Boxes with respect to Marriage
Civil unions - known as Dickoupling - shall have no law set before them preventing as such. They are to be given no special treatment with regard to tax breaks. If two boxes of dicks associate with each other in this manner, they will be barred from the military.
  • Appended legislation is underway to combat this cockboxblock, given that upper echelons of the veined forces have given testimony to the contrary.


FLOOR IS SPREAD OPEN FOR DELIBERATION.
 
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I think my colleague has been somewhat confused by the terminology at use here.

Both boxes and bags of dicks are acceptable, though how one uses them should differ.

It is most proper to tell another to "eat a bag of dicks" (alternately, "suck a"). Bonus points if they just an adjective to describe the bag (Is it big? What does it smell like? How old is it?)

However, one should not tell another to eat a box of dicks. The phrase you are looking for, if I am not mistaken, is "jump ass-first into a box of dicks" (though in this case, I prefer no adjectives get tacked on - it just makes it seem clumsy).
 
As a new member of cockress I'd like to know how long I have to wait for my insurance to kick in. Without my "prescription" I have a hard time getting up.
 
[quote name='The Crotch']I think my colleague has been somewhat confused by the terminology at use here.

Both boxes and bags of dicks are acceptable, though how one uses them should differ.

It is most proper to tell another to "eat a bag of dicks" (alternately, "suck a"). Bonus points if they just an adjective to describe the bag (Is it big? What does it smell like? How old is it?)

However, one should not tell another to eat a box of dicks. The phrase you are looking for, if I am not mistaken, is "jump ass-first into a box of dicks" (though in this case, I prefer no adjectives get tacked on - it just makes it seem clumsy).[/QUOTE]

Rhetorics will be deliberated upon, including inference, implication, intention, iteration, annunciation, and enunciation with specific regard to erection collection repositoration.

[quote name='Lokki']What about a "bowl of dicks"?

Such as telling someone to "go eat a big bowl of dicks!"[/QUOTE]

The shape of the container is not taken into consideration. Sloping gradients and rounded edges are approved. Curvatures of all kinds will not be discriminated against, nor will the varying levels of sway found by the members within the container itself. We do not administer prejudice against bonerbend.

[quote name='mykevermin']...but I just came back from lunch with Larry Craig.

MOTION TO ADJOURN! MOTION TO ADJOURN![/QUOTE]

Oh sonuva...someone get another Mr. Clean eraser.
 
What if you are poor and can't afford any of the storages or you want to keep your dicks on the dl. I motion for brown paper bags to be acceptable receptacles for dicks.
 
Ho ho! This is a place of political intrigue and discussion, Ikohn. We don't give two shakes of a dick about poor people here.

However I will earmark it for the Trickle Down Appropriations Act, which will inevitably follow this bill's introduction.
 
There's a problem with the distribution of dicks in the United States. The hardworking persons in this society get nowhere because, at the end of the day, they have just as many dicks as the welfare kings. This redistribution of dicks is classic socialism.

One of the tenets of Marxist ideology was state control of the distribution of dicks.

Look at our country! The hard working individual who puts in countless hours of work per week, pays their taxes, goes to church on Sundays, and donates time and energy to sperm banks local charities sits down at the end of a hard week, and realizes he only has one dick.

Meanwhile, the lazy, idle Americans who have been unemployed for nearly two years, living off the dole, collecting government money, and contributing nothing to society. They sit down at the end of the day and realize they have one dick, too. What's he going to do with that?

I propose we let the market take over, and give all the dicks to the wealthy. They work hard, they'll create...openings. They'll know what to do with it, and in time, they'll increase the overall size of the...erm, pie.

Trickle down dickonomics, people. Give to the rich until it hurts.
 
Bill_Nye_Expert.jpg


ITT Dickology
 
I think I've found a way to make up for the spending of those limp dicked democrats.

boxodicks.jpg


We'll make millions.
 
I would like to set forth that any male human wearing black or blue socks with brown birkenstock type sandals be first beaten with a bag of frozen dicks before any ingestion of said dicks (though preferabbly thawed) in any recepticle is to commence.
 
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