I just had a great idea!

DenisDFat

DenisDFat

CAGiversary!
I could be the CAG spokesmodel. Like Jared was for Subway. Back when he had that awesome theme song and was showin' the people the way to Subway.

Except it will be me and therefore even more awesome!. So jSweeney needs to get crackin' on a DDF/King Awesome Theme song. And in the commercial, I'll be leading people away from full priced games to lower prices at other stores. And then after that, you guys will have to find a chick for me to marry to show that I have a more human side. :grouphug:
 
You better add in some unnecessary nudity (not you DDF!) in that there commercial.

Everybody loves unncessary nudity!
 
"And then after that, you guys will have to find a chick for me to marry to show that I have a more human side."

I'm rolling on the floor laughing about that...
 
[quote name='Rig']You better add in some unnecessary nudity (not you DDF!) in that there commercial.

Everybody loves unncessary nudity![/QUOTE]

Is there any other kind?
 
I support this on the grounds that said "unnecessary nudity" involves me in the background during a scene in EB, complaining to the cashier about my "dead pixels".

/blue balls?
 
Jared sucks and Subway sucks...

DenisD loses points for emulating something that and someone who blows.

I'll still support making him the CAG mascot, reminds me of The Critic.
 
Suck it may
Suck it might
Each post you make tonight
Are you satisfied?
Schtick is old,
Schtick is lame.
People hate to see your name
Are you gratified?

All the time you waste
People shrug in distaste.
Then the thread crashes down
And you look like a clown
And you wave your middle fingers, but there’s no one around
Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But you're just getting ignored and your posts all read the same
Where’s your crown, king Awesome?
Where’s your crown?

Heard and told
Opinions bold
Do you believe half the lines you've sold?
Wha? Are you mortified?
Suck it might, suck it may
Most of your posts suck anyway
Are you gratified?

All the time you waste
People shrug in distaste.
Then the thread crashes down
And you look like a clown
And you wave your middle fingers, but there’s no one around
Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But you're just getting ignored and your posts all read the same
Where’s your crown, king Awesome?
Where’s your crown?


Huh!

(spoken)
Suck may, Suck it might
How many times did you say "suck" tonight?
It's just par, don't have a cow...
How many things that suck are on your list now?

Careful what you read.
Careful what you say.
Careful what you post, you may regret it
Careful of the thread you post, you may upset it

Then the thread crashes down
And you look like a clown
And you wave your middle fingers, but there’s no one around
Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But you're just getting ignored and your posts all read the same
Where’s your crown, king Awesome?
Where’s your crown?


Oh, you’re getting ignored
Where’s your crown king Awesome?
Oh, you’re getting ignored
Absolutely ignored
Off to never, never be read again.

From "King Nothing" by Metallica.
Darn. I expected them to be on the list of things that suck.
Oh well.
 
[quote name='JSweeney']Suck it may
Suck it might
Each post you make tonight
Are you satisfied?
Schtick is old,
Schtick is lame.
People hate to see your name
Are you gratified?

All the time you waste
People shrug in distaste.
Then the thread crashes down
And you look like a clown
And you wave your middle fingers, but there’s no one around
Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But you're just getting ignored and your posts all read the same
Where’s your crown, king Awesome?
Where’s your crown?

Heard and told
Opinions bold
Do you believe half the lines you've sold?
Wha? Are you mortified?
Suck it might, suck it may
Most of your posts suck anyway
Are you gratified?

All the time you waste
People shrug in distaste.
Then the thread crashes down
And you look like a clown
And you wave your middle fingers, but there’s no one around
Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But you're just getting ignored and your posts all read the same
Where’s your crown, king Awesome?
Where’s your crown?


Huh!

(spoken)
Suck may, Suck it might
How many times did you say "suck" tonight?
It's just par, don't have a cow...
How many things that suck are on your list now?

Careful what you read.
Careful what you say.
Careful what you post, you may regret it
Careful of the thread you post, you may upset it

Then the thread crashes down
And you look like a clown
And you wave your middle fingers, but there’s no one around
Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But you're just getting ignored and your posts all read the same
Where’s your crown, king Awesome?
Where’s your crown?


Oh, you’re getting ignored
Where’s your crown king Awesome?
Oh, you’re getting ignored
Absolutely ignored
Off to never, never be read again.

From "King Nothing" by Metallica.
Darn. I expected them to be on the list of things that suck.
Oh well.
[/QUOTE]

:rofl: :applause: :applause:
 
Throw in one of those sexy dances from the tom goes to the mayor commercial,, with that much excitement its hard to change the channel, good marketing techniques
 
that song sucks.

You have to make one that doesn;t suck and doesn;t lie all the time or you're fired(I said that like Donald Trump in my head.)
 
Give the guy some credit for putting in his time for your idea, hes more dedicated than you are for this damn commercial, and you started it :)
 
who care, if the end result is crap, it's crap. The song sucked and was full of lies and untruths and wouldn't sell free food stamps to people's mothers.
 
[quote name='DenisDFat']who care, if the end result is crap, it's crap. The song sucked and was full of lies and untruths and wouldn't sell free food stamps to people's mothers.[/QUOTE]

Why thank you. If you hate it, it's likely to be enjoyed by many.
 
[quote name='JSweeney']Suck it may
Suck it might
Each post you make tonight
Are you satisfied?
Schtick is old,
Schtick is lame.
People hate to see your name
Are you gratified?

All the time you waste
People shrug in distaste.
Then the thread crashes down
And you look like a clown
And you wave your middle fingers, but there’s no one around
Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But you're just getting ignored and your posts all read the same
Where’s your crown, king Awesome?
Where’s your crown?

Heard and told
Opinions bold
Do you believe half the lines you've sold?
Wha? Are you mortified?
Suck it might, suck it may
Most of your posts suck anyway
Are you gratified?

All the time you waste
People shrug in distaste.
Then the thread crashes down
And you look like a clown
And you wave your middle fingers, but there’s no one around
Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But you're just getting ignored and your posts all read the same
Where’s your crown, king Awesome?
Where’s your crown?


Huh!

(spoken)
Suck may, Suck it might
How many times did you say "suck" tonight?
It's just par, don't have a cow...
How many things that suck are on your list now?

Careful what you read.
Careful what you say.
Careful what you post, you may regret it
Careful of the thread you post, you may upset it

Then the thread crashes down
And you look like a clown
And you wave your middle fingers, but there’s no one around
Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But you're just getting ignored and your posts all read the same
Where’s your crown, king Awesome?
Where’s your crown?


Oh, you’re getting ignored
Where’s your crown king Awesome?
Oh, you’re getting ignored
Absolutely ignored
Off to never, never be read again.

From "King Nothing" by Metallica.
Darn. I expected them to be on the list of things that suck.
Oh well.
[/QUOTE]

Ever since his rank has been King Awesome this has been running through my head.
 
DennisDFat in a TV Commercial? I think DennisDFat should be in an episode of "Desparate Housewives"

or better yet, DennisDFat in an episode of Fear Factor. That will be cool. I want to see DennisDFat eat a big bowl of Madacascar Beetles.
 
[quote name='DenisDFat']I don't do reality Tv.[/QUOTE]

Why not? I think that will be AWESOME!!!

B00065H5K2.01.MZZZZZZZ.jpg
 
[quote name='Xevious']Why not? I think that will be AWESOME!!!

B00065H5K2.01.MZZZZZZZ.jpg
[/QUOTE]

Jesus Christ, Fear Factor the game? What is it, just a slide show of goatse and tubgirl?
 
This is terrific. A thread in which the OP is on my ignore list. Instead of his normal obnoxiousness I get a fun puzzle trying to derive from other posts what harebrained idea he's floated now.
 
[quote name='epobirs']This is terrific. A thread in which the OP is on my ignore list. Instead of his normal obnoxiousness I get a fun puzzle trying to derive from other posts what harebrained idea he's floated now.[/QUOTE]

The song must appear especially random then.
Of course, they usually are anyways :D
 
See, if they installed the betting hack for the boards I could set up the over/under line on how long it will take for DDF to go back to partial obscurity.

O/U 4 months from today.
 
[quote name='JimmieMac']See, if they installed the betting hack for the boards I could set up the over/under line on how long it will take for DDF to go back to partial obscurity.

O/U 4 months from today.[/QUOTE]

You just can't stand that he's both funnier and more hated than you, huh? ;)
 
Since JSweeney sucks at writing songs, i had to write one for myself these past couple of days and it's pretty awesome

(beat from a casio keyboard and people spitting into microphones)

My Name's DDF
And I'm here to say
I like buying games,
But in a cheapass way

Never pay full
price for a game
If you did that,
I'd call you lame

Chorus of Sassy Black Ladies:
King Awesome will show you the road
CAG is where you want to go
Save yourself loads of cash
Buy some ointment for that rash!

Running into problems?
I've got your back, too.
Listen up, this is what
You gots to do.

They say you get no discount?
You don't got to take that.
Just swing back your leg
And kick the magazine rack

SBL chorus and fade.
 
[quote name='DenisDFat']Since JSweeney sucks at writing songs, i had to write one for myself these past couple of days and it's pretty awesome

(beat from a casio keyboard and people spitting into microphones)

My Name's DDF
And I'm here to say
I like buying games,
But in a cheapass way

Never pay full
price for a game
If you did that,
I'd call you lame

Chorus of Sassy Black Ladies:
King Awesome will show you the road
CAG is where you want to go
Save yourself loads of cash
Buy some ointment for that rash!

Running into problems?
I've got your back, too.
Listen up, this is what
You gots to do.

They say you get no discount?
You don't got to take that.
Just swing back your leg
And kick the magazine rack

SBL chorus and fade.[/QUOTE]

Dreadful.
Absolutely dreadful.
While your words have meaning and seem heartfelt, your performance destroys it.
As advertised, the sassy black ladies are quite sassy, and they do add something.
Unfortunately, you manage to squander your meager avantage through your own voice. It is shrill and off key, and sounds rather akin to a cat being thrown into a chipper-shredder. Nails on a chalkboard sound like a wonderful symphony in comparison.

(Hey, if you can channel Trump, I can channel Simon.)
 
[quote name='javeryh']I'd like to see this happen.[/QUOTE]
Too bad that most of the users have him ignored, so sadly, it won't.
 
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