Is it fine to insult Amish people on this site for no reason?

I work at an airport and I'm always seeing a large Amish family going somewhere...they are everywhere.
And amish people can take advantage of modern medicine. However Amish DON'T PAY TAXES...the lucky bastards.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']2 gallons? Man you must be getting jacked where you are gas-wise. I can get about 10 gallons for $20 at today's prices.[/QUOTE]

I was attempting to make fun of gas price inflation.:D
 
Ya, the gas prices are crazy nowadays but, hey, getting $20 worth of gas from pennies saved over a month (you'd be surprised how much grocery shopping/CAG-inspired buying will net you in change) is priceless.
 
[quote name='tauruskatt']by what, stealing the pump from little old ladies next to you? Man, gas prices are awful. I need a car that runs on hopes and dreams...even one that runs on cow milk would be cheaper at this point. :D[/QUOTE]

Hold on, wait a few years. My patent for a cow-milk engine is still pending. The hope and dreams one is still at LEAST 10 years away but I'm working on it.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Hold on, wait a few years. My patent for a cow-milk engine is still pending[/QUOTE]

I bet the Amish could help you.

I cleaned my truck out with the change I found floating around. So basically~ free car wash! lol...

well, actually, there's a funny story to that too...involving my apparent ineptitude at using a gas station vac.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Hold on, wait a few years. My patent for a cow-milk engine is still pending. The hope and dreams one is still at LEAST 10 years away but I'm working on it.[/QUOTE]

I'd kill you over that cow's milk engine, since milk is a great drink and you'd be advocating the wasting of it.
 
[quote name='FriskyTanuki']I'd kill you over that cow's milk engine, since milk is a great drink and you'd be advocating the wasting of it.[/QUOTE]

It's ok. I figure someone would get mad over this. But while I'm waiting for the patent to finish, I spent some time figuring out how to convert banana leaves to a powdered milk extract which will have taste, texture and minerals of regular cow milk. So far it seems it will work out but I've been having a hard time getting that banana taste out. Once that's figured out, I'm going to figure out how to fix the ozone layer and then solve world hunger. The patent for banana milk should be ready around the same time as the cowmilk engine.
 
[quote name='tauruskatt']I bet the Amish could help you.

I cleaned my truck out with the change I found floating around. So basically~ free car wash! lol...

well, actually, there's a funny story to that too...involving my apparent ineptitude at using a gas station vac.[/QUOTE]

Nah, the Amish would need to work in a sterile environment with high technology. They'd burst a blood vessel just being there.
 
[quote name='Kayden']fucking amish...

Stupid cows...[/QUOTE]

Hmmm, now that's an idea. We'll milk the Amish like cows and use their milk to power my engine.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']It's ok. I figure someone would get mad over this. But while I'm waiting for the patent to finish, I spent some time figuring out how to convert banana leaves to a powdered milk extract which will have taste, texture and minerals of regular cow milk. So far it seems it will work out but I've been having a hard time getting that banana taste out. Once that's figured out, I'm going to figure out how to fix the ozone layer and then solve world hunger. The patent for banana milk should be ready around the same time as the cowmilk engine.[/QUOTE]
I'd still have to kill you. You can't get away from it.
 
The Amish religion makes no sense.

"Our god decreed that man's technology should advance to that of 17th century America, and no farther."

Huh, why?

However at least they keep it to themselves, unlike old Georgy W and his luddite attacks against stem cell technology.
 
[quote name='tauruskatt']think of something bizzare and silly and most likely it already exists:

http://www.horizonorganic.com/products/indexsinglemilk.html

"Wow! What a great tasting idea—NEW Banana Single Serve Milk! Our newest feature flavor Banana is the first organic banana milk to hit the market. It’s nutritious, it’s delicious and it’ll likely drive you bananas."

:rofl:

wait...it does sound kinda yummy...heheh[/QUOTE]

That is gross, but regular horizon organic is SO much better then the chalky-blue hormone-injected sludge that passes for commercial milk.
 
organic milk kinda freaks me out, but soy is pretty decent (in cereal)... and miso soup. god i love me some miso soup.

And, I kind of dig the fact that they're starting to plug milk that doesn't need to be refridgerated till you're going to us it to Americans. Other people have been doing this for years.
 
[quote name='tauruskatt']organic milk kinda freaks me out, but soy is pretty decent (in cereal)... and miso soup. god i love me some miso soup.
[/QUOTE]

I think alot of asians are lactose intolerant, right?
 
[quote name='FriskyTanuki']I'd still have to kill you. You can't get away from it.[/QUOTE]

We shall see... you must make it past my army of inept flying monkeys as well as my navy of killer dolphins (sharks w/ laser beams on their heads? Puh-leease!) armed with waterproof poison tipped spearguns. Then you must cross over the outer shit-infested moat filled with giant irradiated human-sized mutant dung beetles who're bred from birth to kill a man by burrowing through his anus and liquifying their prostrate to extract the semen and replace it with this acid saliva. Then you must get past the outer castle wall itself which has a poisonous residue that is excreted from the specially design porous concrete. The concrete has an adamantium molecular matrix to ensure than nothing short of destroying half the planet will penetrate it. An aerial attack you say? Well, my army of inept flying monkeys have a surprise package along with them to ensure that, although inept, they WILL get the job done. Moving on to the inner moat, we have your standard lava (it keeps out the fumes from the outer shit moat) setup, nothing fancy. The inner castle wall is made from a plastic adamantium polymer mix so that anything that is thrown at it will be deflected quite easily. Then you must penetrate the castle itself filled with armed guard genetically engineered to do my bidding. They will literally die if they don't kill something for me so I feed them whatever the current threat will be (I guess tanuki is next on the menu). Oh, and don't worry about trying to steal their weapons. Their weapons are biometrically sealed to work only for their matching DNA. To prevent misuse, the weapons are also linked up to a heart/brain monitor woven into their Nomex-Kevlar gear. If their heart stops moving or their brain activity stops, the guns will render themselves inert. The guns themselves are made from a non-conductive material (which I still must get the patent finished) and electronically sealed to prevent tampering via an EMP pulse. And if you make it past them, you must still deal with the AI (based off me) which has your standard evil lair package: hidden laser guided SAM launchers hidden in the walls, toxic gas releases, retractable spikes in the walls and on the stairwells, localized EMP rifles to disable any cloaking tech with parallel 30mm guns once uncovered. Then you must make it down the 50 flights underground with elemental ninjas every inch of the way. Then into my inner sanctum where you must best my female bodyguards who are skilled in Arnis, Kali, Wu Shu and Southern style Shaolin kungfu. Then and only then shall you be able to test your mettle against me. I am fortunately (in real life) trained in silat (a Malaysian martial art that derives most of its moves from killing blows from other martial arts). Though I'm not a master, I can ensure you will have a most difficult time taking me down.
 
[quote name='camoor']I think alot of asians are lactose intolerant, right?[/QUOTE]

As an Asian, I am happy to say that reports of our lactose intolerance have been greatly exaggerated. I like milk like everyone else and I was born outside of the US.
 
[quote name='tauruskatt']think of something bizzare and silly and most likely it already exists:

http://www.horizonorganic.com/products/indexsinglemilk.html

"Wow! What a great tasting idea—NEW Banana Single Serve Milk! Our newest feature flavor Banana is the first organic banana milk to hit the market. It’s nutritious, it’s delicious and it’ll likely drive you bananas."

:rofl:

wait...it does sound kinda yummy...heheh[/QUOTE]

Dammit, I told the guy at the patent office to keep those plans under lock and key! Now I'm gonna hafta sue these guys for corporate espionage.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']We shall see... you must make it past my army of inept flying monkeys as well as my navy of killer dolphins (sharks w/ laser beams on their heads? Puh-leease!) armed with waterproof poison tipped spearguns. Then you must cross over the outer shit-infested moat filled with giant irradiated human-sized mutant dung beetles who're bred from birth to kill a man by burrowing through his anus and liquifying their prostrate to extract the semen and replace it with this acid saliva. Then you must get past the outer castle wall itself which has a poisonous residue that is excreted from the specially design porous concrete. The concrete has an adamantium molecular matrix to ensure than nothing short of destroying half the planet will penetrate it. An aerial attack you say? Well, my army of inept flying monkeys have a surprise package along with them to ensure that, although inept, they WILL get the job done. Moving on to the inner moat, we have your standard lava (it keeps out the fumes from the outer shit moat) setup, nothing fancy. The inner castle wall is made from a plastic adamantium polymer mix so that anything that is thrown at it will be deflected quite easily. Then you must penetrate the castle itself filled with armed guard genetically engineered to do my bidding. They will literally die if they don't kill something for me so I feed them whatever the current threat will be (I guess tanuki is next on the menu). Oh, and don't worry about trying to steal their weapons. Their weapons are biometrically sealed to work only for their matching DNA. To prevent misuse, the weapons are also linked up to a heart/brain monitor woven into their Nomex-Kevlar gear. If their heart stops moving or their brain activity stops, the guns will render themselves inert. The guns themselves are made from a non-conductive material (which I still must get the patent finished) and electronically sealed to prevent tampering via an EMP pulse. And if you make it past them, you must still deal with the AI (based off me) which has your standard evil lair package: hidden laser guided SAM launchers hidden in the walls, toxic gas releases, retractable spikes in the walls and on the stairwells, localized EMP rifles to disable any cloaking tech with parallel 30mm guns once uncovered. Then you must make it down the 50 flights underground with elemental ninjas every inch of the way. Then into my inner sanctum where you must best my female bodyguards who are skilled in Arnis, Kali, Wu Shu and Southern style Shaolin kungfu. Then and only then shall you be able to test your mettle against me. I am fortunately (in real life) trained in silat (a Malaysian martial art that derives most of its moves from killing blows from other martial arts). Though I'm not a master, I can ensure you will have a most difficult time taking me down.[/QUOTE]
Or I can just shoot you when you're not looking and save me all of this trouble.
 
[quote name='FriskyTanuki']Or I can just shoot you when you're not looking and save me all of this trouble.[/QUOTE]

I'm ALWAYS looking. I have eyes in the back of my head.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']We shall see... you must make it past my army of inept flying monkeys as well as my navy of killer dolphins (sharks w/ laser beams on their heads? Puh-leease!) armed with waterproof poison tipped spearguns. Then you must cross over the outer shit-infested moat filled with giant irradiated human-sized mutant dung beetles who're bred from birth to kill a man by burrowing through his anus and liquifying their prostrate to extract the semen and replace it with this acid saliva. Then you must get past the outer castle wall itself which has a poisonous residue that is excreted from the specially design porous concrete. The concrete has an adamantium molecular matrix to ensure than nothing short of destroying half the planet will penetrate it. An aerial attack you say? Well, my army of inept flying monkeys have a surprise package along with them to ensure that, although inept, they WILL get the job done. Moving on to the inner moat, we have your standard lava (it keeps out the fumes from the outer shit moat) setup, nothing fancy. The inner castle wall is made from a plastic adamantium polymer mix so that anything that is thrown at it will be deflected quite easily. Then you must penetrate the castle itself filled with armed guard genetically engineered to do my bidding. They will literally die if they don't kill something for me so I feed them whatever the current threat will be (I guess tanuki is next on the menu). Oh, and don't worry about trying to steal their weapons. Their weapons are biometrically sealed to work only for their matching DNA. To prevent misuse, the weapons are also linked up to a heart/brain monitor woven into their Nomex-Kevlar gear. If their heart stops moving or their brain activity stops, the guns will render themselves inert. The guns themselves are made from a non-conductive material (which I still must get the patent finished) and electronically sealed to prevent tampering via an EMP pulse. And if you make it past them, you must still deal with the AI (based off me) which has your standard evil lair package: hidden laser guided SAM launchers hidden in the walls, toxic gas releases, retractable spikes in the walls and on the stairwells, localized EMP rifles to disable any cloaking tech with parallel 30mm guns once uncovered. Then you must make it down the 50 flights underground with elemental ninjas every inch of the way. Then into my inner sanctum where you must best my female bodyguards who are skilled in Arnis, Kali, Wu Shu and Southern style Shaolin kungfu. Then and only then shall you be able to test your mettle against me. I am fortunately (in real life) trained in silat (a Malaysian martial art that derives most of its moves from killing blows from other martial arts). Though I'm not a master, I can ensure you will have a most difficult time taking me down.[/QUOTE]

dude, paragraph spacing.

I was halfway through the first sentance and realized there's no way I was reading the rest of that, much less thinking about going through any trouble of killing you now...but dang, I guess it worked then, lol.
 
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.
The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold."

The mother replied, "Put them between your legs.
Your body heat will warm them up." The daughter did and her hands warmed up.
The next day the daughter was riding with her boy
friend who said, "My hands are freezing cold."

The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up." He did and warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold."The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up." He did and warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her
mother,and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"
Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why
do you ask?"
The daughter replies, "They make one hell of a mess
when they defrost, don't they?"
 
[quote name='camoor']I think alot of asians are lactose intolerant, right?[/QUOTE]

The body produces lactase in young children and is supposed to shut off at a certain age. In areas where drinking milk (from cows for example) was beneficial for survival, the defect that stopped the body from stopping production of lactase spread throughout the population, which is what happened in europe, but didn't happen in some parts of asia and the americas. A lot of africans seem to be lactose intolerant as well, maybe cows aren't as widespread in africa as I thought? Interesting chart here http://lactoseintolerant.org/02_about.html

Though I know of a lot of asians who can drink milk, including a close friend of mine, we went to about 5 different supermarkets looking for whole milk on a vacation to toronto a few years back (only later did I found out that in canada it's not called whole milk, it's called 3.25% homogenized milk), he ended up buying soy milk. I never tried it, but he said it tasted like "milk if it wasn't milk", I never did figure that one out. I know when I go into an asian supermarket there will be 100 litres of soy milk bottles and like 15 of regular milk, 5 of each type.

Though someone mentioned banana milk, they have flavored milk all over up here, my university even has whole vending machines for it spread all over campus. I know they have strawberry, banana, vanilla and chocolate, not sure what else they sell in it.
 
They tried selling root beer float flavored milk at my elementary school.

Great taste...horrible horrible aftertaste. Didn't last long.
 
[quote name='chaostic_2k1']Well, no animal was really meant to drink milk past childhood. It was a method to remove dependency.[/QUOTE]

Yep...... Grapes of Wraith. :shock:
 
[quote name='alonzomourning23']The body produces lactase in young children and is supposed to shut off at a certain age. In areas where drinking milk (from cows for example) was beneficial for survival, the defect that stopped the body from stopping production of lactase spread throughout the population, which is what happened in europe, but didn't happen in some parts of asia and the americas. A lot of africans seem to be lactose intolerant as well, maybe cows aren't as widespread in africa as I thought?[/QUOTE]

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! This here sounds a lot like evolution and we don't cotton to that in George W. Bush's Amerika. I'm afraid we'll have to go with the explanation that God created white people perfect in His image and all the "people of color" are defective and can't enjoy good, wholesome, Christian milk. USA! USA! USA!

(100% USDA RDA of Sarcasm)
 
[quote name='zionoverfire']Yep...... Grapes of Wraith. :shock:[/QUOTE]

Wouldn't it be nipples of wrath?
 
[quote name='zionoverfire']Proof you never read the book.:D[/QUOTE]

I did, its just been a long time. I can't remember a lot of things after a week. I read that years ago. Didn't it have someone getting run over at a gas station?
 
amish3dm.jpg
 
[quote name='MrBadExample']Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! This here sounds a lot like evolution and we don't cotton to that in George W. Bush's Amerika. I'm afraid we'll have to go with the explanation that God created white people perfect in His image and all the "people of color" are defective and can't enjoy good, wholesome, Christian milk. USA! USA! USA!

(100% USDA RDA of Sarcasm)[/QUOTE]

Next thing y'all will be telling me that the earth revolves around the sun and pulling the plug on a woman who has been braindead for 15 years is morally copacetic
 
[quote name='FriskyTanuki']Not on the sides of your head. ;)[/QUOTE]

That's what the ninjas hidden in the shadows are for :cool:
 
[quote name='FriskyTanuki']That's where my shapeshifting abilities come about. :twisted:[/QUOTE]

Well, you'd still hafta pass the gene scanner. Remember, everyone at my castle has been genetically recorded. The instant someone not authorized to enter tries, my AI will alert the ninjas and shoot a clear liquid that appears flourescent in UV lighting onto the person. Even if you could mask your DNA sequence, the genetic markers on the liquid would still give you away.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Well, you'd still hafta pass the gene scanner. Remember, everyone at my castle has been genetically recorded. The instant someone not authorized to enter tries, my AI will alert the ninjas and shoot a clear liquid that appears flourescent in UV lighting onto the person. Even if you could mask your DNA sequence, the genetic markers on the liquid would still give you away.[/QUOTE]
Whatever, I'll be able to break that defense with no problem, fool. You won't know what hit you.
 
[quote name='FriskyTanuki']Whatever, I'll be able to break that defense with no problem, fool. You won't know what hit you.[/QUOTE]

Hehehe, I'll put out the welcome mat.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Hehehe, I'll put out the welcome mat.[/QUOTE]

Look at the size of his balls. Crash will try anything. :lol:
 
[quote name='Kayden']Look at the size of his balls. Crash will try anything. :lol:[/QUOTE]

Bigger balls? All the better to trip over :lol:
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Bigger balls? All the better to trip over :lol:[/QUOTE]
Click on the gif in my sig and watch the shorter version of the commercial and you can see how I'd run.
 
[quote name='FriskyTanuki']Click on the gif in my sig and watch the shorter version of the commercial and you can see how I'd run.[/QUOTE]

:rofl:

....
:rofl:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
bread's done
Back
Top