GreatNocturn357
CAGiversary!
Part of my review series...this was a old one i made...so ill post another soon
NMH is the 7 sins wrapped up into one big package, blood, lust, greed and the rest in one white package...this has to be the wii's hardcore game...but why the hell did they spend so much time making it into that instead of this...
Story: now if you bought this game for story...you are a moron cause this game's story is border lining on non existent. But ill tell you what is there. You are Travis Touchdown, a stereotypical otaku who after winning a beam katana off a internet auction[ebay has to have restrictions...] he decides to become a hit man. Running outta cash, he slaughters a drifter so he can afford a video game...wait...A VIDEO GAME?!?!?! Just what we
ing need! more ammo for Jack...
Any who little does Travis know, he has killed a 11 ranked assassin in the United Assassins Association and is soon found and giving a proposal to kill 10 other ranked assassins for money...and the ass of a sadistic French accented woman, Sylvia Christel...but is she leading him on...and whats the deal with Travis...well the game makes fun of the fact that you will NEVER find out more about him...which kinda sucks cause his story sounds interesting. 8/10
Game play: The game is kinda like gta...stripped down. The point of progression is to earn money to pay admittance for the next ranked match and work your way up the latter of the U.A.A. and you earn money by doing random, repetitive tasks...which is mainly the tag line of the game! You go around Santa Destroy earning money by doing jobs and assassin jobs and than after gaining enough money for the match by depositing it into the U.A.A's account...and it gets old QUICKLY! You can also spend the cash by instead of moving the story along...BY BUYING CLOTHES!!!! Well...granted you have to buy beam katana upgrades and paying to train Travis to extend his strength, attack combo line and vitality. You can also buy video tapes at your local beef head video to learn new wrestling moves. To include a item collection, you can go around the city banging on garbage cans to find cash and clothes for Travis[the inner fashion designer in me is screaming "OH MY GOD IS YOUR CLOTHING STYLE ATROCIOUS! AND ARE YOU COLOR BLIND?!?!"] and as you do this you may find these things called lolikov balls. Take them to the drunk in the tavern behind the gym and you can learn extra stuff that you will thank yourself for getting...it makes things alot easier/faster. But you have no screw off time whatsoever! Unless you ride your bike around the town...your pretty much on a streamline path through the story.
Now...you've paid off your debts? GOODY! cause now you must got through a field of stupid and gang-uping enemies that you can't run past...great...i need a drink. Well after you fight your way through the stupid minions who are only there for filler. You make your way to the target. This has to be the most enjoyable and frustrating part of the game. The bosses may seem straight forward at first but as you move on they will get more complicated...but what sucks is they ALWAYS BLOCK YOUR DAMN MOVES!!! They attack, after you can only hit them about 2 times before they go all invincible...now thats a bitch...and some of the bosses can be so damn cheap! But i guess i might as well drop my gripes and at least say that some of the ideas used for getting through the stage are nice[like killing your enemies by using your beam katana as a bat to reflect balls or fighting baddies on a greyhound-esk bus...which is the wish of anyone who has ever been on those damn snail coaches] so ill give that some points. And you can make things faster by slicing through them with different dark side styles which can make you feel a little blood thirsty. 7/10
Control: You control Travis kinda like the way you would in any other game. You don't use the wiimote for swinging the beam katana but you can use it to pull off deathblows and wrestling moves. You also can use it with your bike to pull of jumps and donuts but...well its petty straight forward...so now explanation needed...although my complaint is the fact that when you try and do the wrestling moves...it takes a few motions to get right. 8/10
Presentation: Voice acting is pretty well done. The one-liners don't feel that cheesy and many of the characters sound like mental institution escapees with the crap they say. What is kinda stupid is some of the smaller parts...they speak in broken English...good thing what they say ain't important. Music is bland in everything but the shoppings weird teen Japanese pop song and some of the boss fights songs. Also something that is kinda silly from Suda 51 is the fact that this game was gonna be a 360 title...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I DON'T THINK SO!!! THE GRAPHICS ARE ON PAR WITH A PS2 GAMES!! No joke! Killer7 has graphics of these standards...hell ill even go as far to say to say that Raw Danger had better graphics...a budget title having better than a game which was gonna be on the 360...good lord! 6/10
Personal Take: oi man was this a mixed experience. there where some funny parts and some parts when it made me feel a bit emotional[speed buster's intro with Travis's cat being in the crossfire...it made me feel so...i don't know...] but other than that...Travis could die and i wouldn't give a flying bag of crap. The ending was...worse than ASSASSINS CREED!!! AC makes this game look like a finished story...horrid!
I think they over did the fact that it was trying to be border lining on AO but really...its just one of those games that has 10 year olds salivating with glee...other than that...ehh I've seen worse[Soldier of Fortune Gold...man that was gory] 8/10
Well thats it...im done. What im gonna do with the game? keep it? nah...ill end up hocking it the day i pick up brawl and pick up a game for the psp or something...but if you wanna give this game a go, keep in mind to rent and not buy it...unless you want to play it over and over again...and even then i wouldn't recommend it.
37/50 C+
NMH is the 7 sins wrapped up into one big package, blood, lust, greed and the rest in one white package...this has to be the wii's hardcore game...but why the hell did they spend so much time making it into that instead of this...
Story: now if you bought this game for story...you are a moron cause this game's story is border lining on non existent. But ill tell you what is there. You are Travis Touchdown, a stereotypical otaku who after winning a beam katana off a internet auction[ebay has to have restrictions...] he decides to become a hit man. Running outta cash, he slaughters a drifter so he can afford a video game...wait...A VIDEO GAME?!?!?! Just what we
ing need! more ammo for Jack...Any who little does Travis know, he has killed a 11 ranked assassin in the United Assassins Association and is soon found and giving a proposal to kill 10 other ranked assassins for money...and the ass of a sadistic French accented woman, Sylvia Christel...but is she leading him on...and whats the deal with Travis...well the game makes fun of the fact that you will NEVER find out more about him...which kinda sucks cause his story sounds interesting. 8/10
Game play: The game is kinda like gta...stripped down. The point of progression is to earn money to pay admittance for the next ranked match and work your way up the latter of the U.A.A. and you earn money by doing random, repetitive tasks...which is mainly the tag line of the game! You go around Santa Destroy earning money by doing jobs and assassin jobs and than after gaining enough money for the match by depositing it into the U.A.A's account...and it gets old QUICKLY! You can also spend the cash by instead of moving the story along...BY BUYING CLOTHES!!!! Well...granted you have to buy beam katana upgrades and paying to train Travis to extend his strength, attack combo line and vitality. You can also buy video tapes at your local beef head video to learn new wrestling moves. To include a item collection, you can go around the city banging on garbage cans to find cash and clothes for Travis[the inner fashion designer in me is screaming "OH MY GOD IS YOUR CLOTHING STYLE ATROCIOUS! AND ARE YOU COLOR BLIND?!?!"] and as you do this you may find these things called lolikov balls. Take them to the drunk in the tavern behind the gym and you can learn extra stuff that you will thank yourself for getting...it makes things alot easier/faster. But you have no screw off time whatsoever! Unless you ride your bike around the town...your pretty much on a streamline path through the story.
Now...you've paid off your debts? GOODY! cause now you must got through a field of stupid and gang-uping enemies that you can't run past...great...i need a drink. Well after you fight your way through the stupid minions who are only there for filler. You make your way to the target. This has to be the most enjoyable and frustrating part of the game. The bosses may seem straight forward at first but as you move on they will get more complicated...but what sucks is they ALWAYS BLOCK YOUR DAMN MOVES!!! They attack, after you can only hit them about 2 times before they go all invincible...now thats a bitch...and some of the bosses can be so damn cheap! But i guess i might as well drop my gripes and at least say that some of the ideas used for getting through the stage are nice[like killing your enemies by using your beam katana as a bat to reflect balls or fighting baddies on a greyhound-esk bus...which is the wish of anyone who has ever been on those damn snail coaches] so ill give that some points. And you can make things faster by slicing through them with different dark side styles which can make you feel a little blood thirsty. 7/10
Control: You control Travis kinda like the way you would in any other game. You don't use the wiimote for swinging the beam katana but you can use it to pull off deathblows and wrestling moves. You also can use it with your bike to pull of jumps and donuts but...well its petty straight forward...so now explanation needed...although my complaint is the fact that when you try and do the wrestling moves...it takes a few motions to get right. 8/10
Presentation: Voice acting is pretty well done. The one-liners don't feel that cheesy and many of the characters sound like mental institution escapees with the crap they say. What is kinda stupid is some of the smaller parts...they speak in broken English...good thing what they say ain't important. Music is bland in everything but the shoppings weird teen Japanese pop song and some of the boss fights songs. Also something that is kinda silly from Suda 51 is the fact that this game was gonna be a 360 title...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I DON'T THINK SO!!! THE GRAPHICS ARE ON PAR WITH A PS2 GAMES!! No joke! Killer7 has graphics of these standards...hell ill even go as far to say to say that Raw Danger had better graphics...a budget title having better than a game which was gonna be on the 360...good lord! 6/10
Personal Take: oi man was this a mixed experience. there where some funny parts and some parts when it made me feel a bit emotional[speed buster's intro with Travis's cat being in the crossfire...it made me feel so...i don't know...] but other than that...Travis could die and i wouldn't give a flying bag of crap. The ending was...worse than ASSASSINS CREED!!! AC makes this game look like a finished story...horrid!
I think they over did the fact that it was trying to be border lining on AO but really...its just one of those games that has 10 year olds salivating with glee...other than that...ehh I've seen worse[Soldier of Fortune Gold...man that was gory] 8/10
Well thats it...im done. What im gonna do with the game? keep it? nah...ill end up hocking it the day i pick up brawl and pick up a game for the psp or something...but if you wanna give this game a go, keep in mind to rent and not buy it...unless you want to play it over and over again...and even then i wouldn't recommend it.
37/50 C+
