The Beast 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2004
- Thread starter ZarathosNY
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My personal fave:
Dr. Phil
Crimes: Not a doctor. Not wise. Offers troubled souls nothing but the sweet feeling of surrendering control. Only reason for prominence is that Oprah just couldn’t support her show by herself anymore. Offers troubled simpletons meaningless slogans that resonate for a maximum of five days before they realize they already knew that shit and they still can’t stop whatever compulsive behavior got them onto his show in the first place. Is almost certainly regularly involved in some unspeakable depravity that he can’t stop and which caused him to fabricate his public persona in a frantic attempt to convince us he’s normal.
Smoking Gun: Both presidential candidates were forced to submit to his pedantic bullshit in some bizarre new soft focus emasculation ritual to get slack-jawed housewives to vote for them.
Punishment: A lifetime of guest spots on Springer.
Dr. Phil
Crimes: Not a doctor. Not wise. Offers troubled souls nothing but the sweet feeling of surrendering control. Only reason for prominence is that Oprah just couldn’t support her show by herself anymore. Offers troubled simpletons meaningless slogans that resonate for a maximum of five days before they realize they already knew that shit and they still can’t stop whatever compulsive behavior got them onto his show in the first place. Is almost certainly regularly involved in some unspeakable depravity that he can’t stop and which caused him to fabricate his public persona in a frantic attempt to convince us he’s normal.
Smoking Gun: Both presidential candidates were forced to submit to his pedantic bullshit in some bizarre new soft focus emasculation ritual to get slack-jawed housewives to vote for them.
Punishment: A lifetime of guest spots on Springer.
MrBadExample
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Oh, that's a great list.
One of the highlights for me:
Dick Cheney
Crimes: So loathsome his own party is frightened of him. Manages to deliver stunning lies with an air of sneering authority. Shamelessly employs scare tactics in order to strip the federal government of any resemblance to the one described in the constitution. So visibly evil that all of the documented evidence against him is superfluous. The kind of guy who starts talking cannibalism the minute he steps on the lifeboat.
Smoking Gun: Managed to make his own shame at producing gay offspring into a negative for Kerry.
Punishment: Hacked to death by Mexican migrant workers.
One of the highlights for me:
Dick Cheney
Crimes: So loathsome his own party is frightened of him. Manages to deliver stunning lies with an air of sneering authority. Shamelessly employs scare tactics in order to strip the federal government of any resemblance to the one described in the constitution. So visibly evil that all of the documented evidence against him is superfluous. The kind of guy who starts talking cannibalism the minute he steps on the lifeboat.
Smoking Gun: Managed to make his own shame at producing gay offspring into a negative for Kerry.
Punishment: Hacked to death by Mexican migrant workers.
Duo_Maxwell
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Funny though after reading through his explanations of why people made the lists I soon found out he/she was an idiot and a hypocrit.
CaseyRyback
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Clarence Thomas
Crimes: On the wrong side of every Supreme Court decision since he got the job carrying Scalia’s golf clubs.
Smoking Gun: Angry black man routine during Anita Hill hearings was the most forced overacting this side of Keanu Reeves’ tantrum in Johnny Mnemonic.
Punishment: Led out of the Court in chains after inadvertently casting the deciding vote to reinstitute slavery.
I don't think any of them made me laugh as hard as this one.
I know it is some hack writing this, and he hates Bush and his cronies, but at least he tries to dish out some equal hate
Crimes: On the wrong side of every Supreme Court decision since he got the job carrying Scalia’s golf clubs.
Smoking Gun: Angry black man routine during Anita Hill hearings was the most forced overacting this side of Keanu Reeves’ tantrum in Johnny Mnemonic.
Punishment: Led out of the Court in chains after inadvertently casting the deciding vote to reinstitute slavery.
I don't think any of them made me laugh as hard as this one.
I know it is some hack writing this, and he hates Bush and his cronies, but at least he tries to dish out some equal hate
zionoverfire
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I'll go with this one:
45. John McCain:
Crimes: Survived years of torture in Vietnam only to become a bend over buddy for a sheltered rich dunce. McCain could have bolstered his largely unearned air of credibility this year had he stood against Bush, but instead chose to show us all that that no principle is too fundamental to humanity to be overlooked in the name of party loyalty. We can only hope that they’ve got something on him, something big.
Smoking Gun: Returned to criticizing Bush as soon as it didn’t matter anymore.
Punishment: Vice President under Rumsfeld.
45. John McCain:
Crimes: Survived years of torture in Vietnam only to become a bend over buddy for a sheltered rich dunce. McCain could have bolstered his largely unearned air of credibility this year had he stood against Bush, but instead chose to show us all that that no principle is too fundamental to humanity to be overlooked in the name of party loyalty. We can only hope that they’ve got something on him, something big.
Smoking Gun: Returned to criticizing Bush as soon as it didn’t matter anymore.
Punishment: Vice President under Rumsfeld.
E-Z-B
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[quote name='zionoverfire']I'll go with this one:
45. John McCain:
Crimes: Survived years of torture in Vietnam only to become a bend over buddy for a sheltered rich dunce. McCain could have bolstered his largely unearned air of credibility this year had he stood against Bush, but instead chose to show us all that that no principle is too fundamental to humanity to be overlooked in the name of party loyalty. We can only hope that they’ve got something on him, something big.
Smoking Gun: Returned to criticizing Bush as soon as it didn’t matter anymore.
Punishment: Vice President under Rumsfeld.[/quote]
45. John McCain:
Crimes: Survived years of torture in Vietnam only to become a bend over buddy for a sheltered rich dunce. McCain could have bolstered his largely unearned air of credibility this year had he stood against Bush, but instead chose to show us all that that no principle is too fundamental to humanity to be overlooked in the name of party loyalty. We can only hope that they’ve got something on him, something big.
Smoking Gun: Returned to criticizing Bush as soon as it didn’t matter anymore.
Punishment: Vice President under Rumsfeld.[/quote]
zionoverfire
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[quote name='E-Z-B'][quote name='zionoverfire']I'll go with this one:
45. John McCain:
Crimes: Survived years of torture in Vietnam only to become a bend over buddy for a sheltered rich dunce. McCain could have bolstered his largely unearned air of credibility this year had he stood against Bush, but instead chose to show us all that that no principle is too fundamental to humanity to be overlooked in the name of party loyalty. We can only hope that they’ve got something on him, something big.
Smoking Gun: Returned to criticizing Bush as soon as it didn’t matter anymore.
Punishment: Vice President under Rumsfeld.[/quote]
[/quote]
Haven't seen that one before. I don't dislike John McCain but he had a choice and he choose the power for his party and I think for a man who preaches so much about putting american on the right track he made a very bad choice.
45. John McCain:
Crimes: Survived years of torture in Vietnam only to become a bend over buddy for a sheltered rich dunce. McCain could have bolstered his largely unearned air of credibility this year had he stood against Bush, but instead chose to show us all that that no principle is too fundamental to humanity to be overlooked in the name of party loyalty. We can only hope that they’ve got something on him, something big.
Smoking Gun: Returned to criticizing Bush as soon as it didn’t matter anymore.
Punishment: Vice President under Rumsfeld.[/quote]
Haven't seen that one before. I don't dislike John McCain but he had a choice and he choose the power for his party and I think for a man who preaches so much about putting american on the right track he made a very bad choice.
bread's done