Things you do to annoy your girlfriend

TheShepherdSauce

TheShepherdSauce

CAGiversary!
Thought this would be fun, so I'll start:

- Lock the car windows and fart
- Fart in her face
- Fart in her face when we're both going up the stairs and I'm in front
- Fart when we're snuggling
- Fart in the elevator
- Do pelvic thrusts when she hugs me... in public
- Give her unattractive pet names, like 'my little poop'
- When she's wearing a tanktop and we're lounging around on the couch with her arms around me, I'll stick my nose in her armpit and pretend it smells or run my finger across her armpit and pretend it's hairy

There's probably a whole lot more I'm forgetting that I'll post if I remember them.
 
[quote name='TheShepherdSauce']Thought this would be fun, so I'll start:

- Lock the car windows and fart
- Fart in her face
- Fart in her face when we're both going up the stairs and I'm in front
- Fart when we're snuggling
- Fart in the elevator
- Do pelvic thrusts when she hugs me... in public
- Give her unattractive pet names, like 'my little poop'
- When she's wearing a tanktop and we're lounging around on the couch with her arms around me, I'll stick my nose in her armpit and pretend it smells or run my finger across her armpit and pretend it's hairy

There's probably a whole lot more I'm forgetting that I'll post if I remember them.[/QUOTE]

Holy crap. How old are you? I'm quoting this just in case you decide you need to change it.

My original post was simply gonna say use CAG.
 
[quote name='Arakias']Holy crap. How old are you? I'm quoting this just in case you decide you need to change it.

My original post was simply gonna say use CAG.[/QUOTE]

Hahaha I'm 23. We've been together for 4 years :lol:
 
crazy that most guys think/act alike... i've been with my fiance for more than 6 years... lived together for over 4 years... so here i go.
- take a dump with the door open
- take a dump while shes in the shower
- take a dump while shes brushing her teeth, brushing hair, makeup
- slap her ass and say good game--- any time of day for no reason.
- when she goes to kiss me goodnight or something just a peck... i stick out my tounge like im gonna mouth rape her.

thats my list as of now i might think of more.
 
[quote name='TheShepherdSauce']Thought this would be fun, so I'll start:

- Fart
- Fart
- Fart
- Fart
- Fart[/QUOTE]

High five, bro. Sounds like you totally pwn that ho in hilarious, original ways.
 
[quote name='TheShepherdSauce']Hahaha I'm 23. We've been together for 4 years :lol:[/QUOTE]

What does Brain Age: Train Your Brain tell you your age is? I'm guessing a lot lower than your actual years....
I wish I could unsee this thread. Seriously.
 
that just comes off like a list of ways to lose a gf or make sure you never have one. but i guess to each his own .
 
Things I do to annoy my girlfriend...

I Call her parents and tell her were going to get married.
I Drive by her house slowly and stare.
I Violate the restraining order she put on me.
I Make menacing phone calls to what she calls her "actual boyfriend."
Small things here and there, no big deal.
 
[quote name='lokizz']that just comes off like a list of ways to lose a gf or make sure you never have one. but i guess to each his own .[/QUOTE]

haha lokizz, your avatar goes very well with this statement. Nothing like banging your girlfriend's mom to cause turbulence in the relationship. lol
 
Things I do to annoy my wife....
Talk about my other girlfriend.

If you love someone you generally try not to annoy or anger them but that's only if you truly want to keep them around.
 
Sometimes when I hug her in public I'll "accidentally" brush up on her crotch area with my fingers.

I belch really loud in public, even at fancy restaurants.

When she's watching a movie at home I'll often jump up, dance around the livingroom, thrust my pelvis in her face, and sing "I neeeeed a bloooow joooooooob! Put myyyyy dooooooong in yo mooouuth! Mmmm yeeeah! C'mon, let me hear you!!!!"

I won't smoke my ganja with her until her school work is done (only one semester left, thank god).

If I notice her dozing off on the couch I'll wake her by sneaking up on her and kissing & sucking on her toes (she's extremely ticklish).

If I think she's lying or fibbing I instantly call her out just to be a prick.

I play and buy video games.
 
start mundane conversations with, "we have to talk".
fall asleep on the couch watching tv instead of coming to bed.
dont rinse my dishes sometimes.

umm probably a lot more if i thought about it.
 
[quote name='TheShepherdSauce']Thought this would be fun, so I'll start:

- Lock the car windows and fart
- Fart in her face
- Fart in her face when we're both going up the stairs and I'm in front
- Fart when we're snuggling
- Fart in the elevator
- Do pelvic thrusts when she hugs me... in public
- Give her unattractive pet names, like 'my little poop'
- When she's wearing a tanktop and we're lounging around on the couch with her arms around me, I'll stick my nose in her armpit and pretend it smells or run my finger across her armpit and pretend it's hairy

There's probably a whole lot more I'm forgetting that I'll post if I remember them.[/QUOTE]

Ohhh look at me everyone I have a girlfriend.
 
[quote name='advanced']I'm going to have to steal that one.[/QUOTE]

Me too. I don't have or want a girlfriend right now, but I can do this to all my really close girl friends. :lol:
 
[quote name='IAmTheCheapestGamer']What's a girlfriend?[/QUOTE]

sunflower2.png
 
This always pisses me off. I never do shit like that to my gf and yet I don't have one. Yet you assholes have had them for years. It just solidifies my idea that women * like * asshole guys.
 
The way I see it, if you can't rib your significant other occasionally, whats the point?

Granted, I always apologize and excuse myself when I fart in front of her or when I'm around her. I still don't use the bathroom at her place because of that. I can't believe this thread is coming down to who is a farter and who isn't.
 
Meh. My first gf I ever had I kinda ended up with on 'accident'. I went on what was effectively a double date with my one buddy and his gf and they had her younger sister with them.

So after going to see a movie we stopped at a nearby arcade/hot dog joint called Top Dog. We all kinda go our own seperate ways in there and I go over and start playing Mortal Kombat(yes, the original:razz:).

Soon after I start playing(and getting my ass kicked) my buddy comes over and as I'm majorly distracted by the game all I hear coming from his mouth is the sounds like the teacher from the Charlie Brown specials makes.

It's not until about 30 seconds later that I realize my buddy was asking me if I liked his gf's sister and I believe she wanted to know if I wanted her to be my gf.

Suffice to say by that time it was too late and I did one of these in the middle of the place:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5P1XBq6_tc

Yeah. I know I'm a real romantic and I still am.;) A chick would have a better chance eliciting real emotional attachment from a cinderblock than from me.
 
My girlfriend wondered why i was laughing so hard, so I had her read this page. After reading the first page she asked me if I was the one posting this stuff. Personally i love using the "we need to talk" conversation starter.
 
[quote name='AvidWriter']This always pisses me off. I never do shit like that to my gf and yet I don't have one. Yet you assholes have had them for years. It just solidifies my idea that women * like * asshole guys.[/QUOTE]

People are assholes because they fart and laugh about it?

Wow, news to me.



Anyway, I think I understand what the OP is trying to say. Or I have my own interpretation of his post, that is. It's more about getting away with being immature because you know you can. Sometimes I think it's just a childish way to present your vulnerability to your significant other, but I'm not a psychologist. While I might not be so crass about stating it, I do fart around my wife because I find her reactions are hilarious. She knows this, and indulges me. Just like I indulge her when she wants to take forever grocery shopping, even though she takes an unreasonable amount of time to pick each individual item because she knows it will piss me off. The point is that we simply have fun egging each other on in a variety of ways. Who the hell can just be romantic and lovey-dovey all the time? That shit isn't real life...

An important aspect of a relationship, IMO, is in private times that you can just be immature with your SO. In this case, it seems that most guys will fart. So, I understand what the OP is saying. Well, I'm another douchebag who doesn't deserve my wife right along with you guys, according to some in this topic...

Actually, GTFO.

 
I'm a big fan of role reversing in conversations. It catches most girls by surprise (in a relationship or not) and helps with pickups. One of my faves is "I have a headache" when they want sex. lol. proceeded by sex, of course. Don't turn it down!

Really like the we need to talk thing though.
 
I'm amazed this thread started on butt juice and hasn't just ended. I should just mention Nazis and call it game over for some of the stuff you guys mention.

I'm not saying I never annoyed my ex. I did so all the time but not systemically on purpose. The only thing I can contribute is that I lie. A lot about everything and anything that isn't consequential. I lie about the time by 14-15 hours. I lie about what I'm watching when she was coming up the stairs. I lie about having a boner when we're in the shower and she's not directly looking at it. I can usually get about 45-90 seconds out of a decent lie and that's all I'm looking for.

I used to try to refuse sex to annoy her but she never bought it so I just gave it up.
She used to pretend she was faking so that by my own logic we had to go again but that wasn't so much annoying as it was.. fun I guess?
Does correcting grammar and quotes count? I'm not really a grammar Nazi but if someone misquotes me I correct them. I choose my words carefully and people often infer things that I don't mean. I expect this and I spend a lot of time correcting and elaborating.

Congratulate me on resisting to urge to say some admittedly racist things but I will say that farting in a girls face.. intentionally that's something that where I come from just isn't ok. Sure farting is funny. i get that, but there's a point where you CAN take it too far. call me prudish if you like but I'm STILL a little shocked years later over the fact there's a word for 'Dutch Oven'.
 
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[quote name='AvidWriter']This always pisses me off. I never do shit like that to my gf and yet I don't have one. Yet you assholes have had them for years. It just solidifies my idea that women * like * asshole guys.[/QUOTE]


No, all it means is that women like guys that aren't afraid to be guys. I'm no ladies man (by a long shot), but when I happen to get a girlfriend, I don't completely change how I am when I don't have one. If I want to walk around the house mostly naked I will, if I want to go camping I will, if I want to admire my boner in the mirror I will, if I want to go eat chicken nachos and drink beer I will, if I want to play 3D Dot Game Heroes or Bayonetta with our kids while she gazes at me like I'm a total nerd/tool/douche/lame-o/dweeb I will. I try to involve her in my guy-isms too. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Whatever...

The only thing I don't do is fart around her and poop while she's in the shower; that's a precedent I don't want to set. The last thing want is a farting fiance' who poops in front of me. I try to make most of my annoyances as sexual or innuendo laced as possible.
 
[quote name='retrodog4']My girlfriend wondered why i was laughing so hard, so I had her read this page. After reading the first page she asked me if I was the one posting this stuff. Personally i love using the "we need to talk" conversation starter.[/QUOTE]


"We need to talk" is hilarious. The expression one can get from women when one uses this starter usually ranges from "he knows" to "what did I do."
 
[quote name='RAMSTORIA']start mundane conversations with, "we have to talk".
[/QUOTE]

Been doing that one for years, myself. Continue it with, "I've been thinking a lot lately, and well, I might as well come out and say it: why don't we try that new indian restaurant sometime?"

My favorite is when i'm in a bad mood and she calls me on the cell phone - I'll only speak if I'm asked a direct question. And if I'm really petty that day, I'll just hang up on her and then when she calls back pissed, I tell her that the call must have dropped and I didn't notice.
 
the one thing a guy can do to a gf/wife that will really annoy her is to be right about something. women hate.............hell they loathe being wrong about anything no matter what it is and when theyre proven to be wrong they will continue swear up and down that theyre not and you are.
 
I do things just to mess with my girlfriend sometimes like:

Tickle her uncontrollably even though she hates it.
Lick the palm of her hand.
Rape her when she yells no.
Dangle string cheese in her face (she thinks string cheese is creepy for some reason.)
Pick her up in public just to prove my awesome man strength.
Dishevel her blankets because she likes them in a certain order.
Untuck her in bed when she is all tucked in.

Oh, and the "we need to talk" thing isn't cool :( I'm usually the one doing the bad things so I can't even try to use that phrase without feeling a tinge of guilt in my belly.
 
[quote name='prence']I do things just to mess with my girlfriend sometimes like:

Tickle her uncontrollably even though she hates it.
Lick the palm of her hand.[/QUOTE]reminds me I used to rub her legs when she hadn't shaved and was feeling stubbly; not like I cared and my apathy about it drove her nuts.
 
This thread reeks of fail....the stench is too strong...
 
[quote name='Fortune_P_Dawg'] if I want to admire my boner in the mirror I will.[/QUOTE]

Too much information.
 
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