WARNING: Polar Express is a sleeping aid!!! (A quickie review)

Wshakspear

Wshakspear

CAGiversary!
Well, i saw the Polar Express yesterday. Wow...its really, really boring.

Its a mixture of sappy x-mas (BAD sappy x-mas), Great CGI train, BAD CGI everything else, and enough "rollercoaster" segments to make at least 2 newsreports about audiences getting sick.

oh yeah...

AEROSMITH AS ELVES SINGING A fuckING ROCKMAS SONG!!!!

God help me. Do yourself a favor...go and watch the Incredibles, or even stay at home and watch paint dry or a pot boil.
 
[quote name='Wshakspear']Not really scary...just creepy...The quiet and the facial expressins do it (shudder)[/quote]

Well that's to bad, it was quite a nice book and the backgrounds looked quite nice in the previews.
 
Hmm... Ebert gave it a rave review which suprised me. Ninety percent of the time, before or after seeing a movie, if I read his reviews I'll agree.

I won't go out of my way to see this though.
 
[quote name='Admiral Ackbar']Hmm... Ebert gave it a rave review which suprised me. Ninety percent of the time, before or after seeing a movie, if I read his reviews I'll agree.

I won't go out of my way to see this though.[/quote]

:rofl: Ebert's reviews mean nothing.
 
Visually its a treat...until people start moving and talking. Think of it like a FF game where the backgrounds seem pre-rendered and the actual characters are of a complete different quality.

They also have 2 "wow" scenes with thousands of moose/elves, which is one of the most blantet "Hey! Look what we can do!" moments i've ever seen.
 
[quote name='Santurio']Damn that's too bad. Do you think watching it at an IMAX theater in 3D would make it any better??[/quote]

Yes, yes it would. I saw it in digital, which made the visuals nicer, but IMAX would make the rollar coaster scenes neater, just because IMAX makes big drops look that much bigger.
 
[quote name='Crusader']Its not as bad as all of you are making it out to be.

RottenTomatoes score = 63% - Rated Fresh for now

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/polar_express/

Haven't seen it yet, but it looks like a fun family movie, especially if you haven't watched the Incredibles yet.[/quote]

63% that's pretty good, but then it is a kids movie and those almost always score higher on there.
 
[quote name='Trakan'][quote name='Admiral Ackbar']Hmm... Ebert gave it a rave review which suprised me. Ninety percent of the time, before or after seeing a movie, if I read his reviews I'll agree.

I won't go out of my way to see this though.[/quote]

:rofl: Ebert's reviews mean nothing.[/quote]

I think they're pretty good. The trick is finding a reviewer that shares your same tatses. Not listening to every reviewer under the sun. Ebert and I must think alike because we agree on most movies, so I trust his commentary.
 
Ok, here's the deal. Taking The Incredibles out of the equation, taking my extreme dislike of the CGI humans they used in PE...the story ended up falling completely flat.

To qoute myeslf "A fucking Bell!?" It was like watching Contact all over again "Her god-damned father!?". In the context of the book, everything works well, movie wise, not so much...

Yeah, and dont forget the midget aerosmith...it will haunt you for years...i can NOT get that visual out of my head...
 
[quote name='Dead of Knight']This movie looked retarded from the start. Who HONESTLY thought it was going to be a good movie? Come on now.[/quote]

Well, my GF's mother, Roger Ebert, and the 4 other people in the theatre when i saw it.
 
I saw the preview and I thought to myself "I have absolutely no interest in this movie"

Even if this movie did get rave reviews, I still wouldn't watch it.
 
I wasn't interested at all until I found out it was going to be played at IMAX theaters in 3D!! which was like last week, and then I was kinda interested.
I mean shit I watched a freakin documentary of the Titanic (Ghosts of the Abyss) and liked it because of the 3D.
 
As previously noted, this movie would be very cool indeed with IMAX...but watching a movie made for IMAX in a normal theatre just isnt the same.
 
[quote name='Wshakspear']As previously noted, this movie would be very cool indeed with IMAX...but watching a movie made for IMAX in a normal theatre just isnt the same.[/quote]

The movie wasn't made for IMAX, if I recall correctly. It was always intended for a widespread release. It'd look better on IMAX, to be sure - if only because of the massive amount of detail in CG animation - but it wasn't meant to be an IMAX movie.

In any case, the thought of Aerosmith as elves has further solidified my resolve not to see this movie. On the other hand, I could go and see The Incredibles this weekend...
 
Yes, the incredibles is the best superhero film ever put out, and one of the best animated films ever produced. Amazing.
 
I will be taking my 3 year old to it this weekend. As long as there is a train in it, he will love it (as long as it has enough train scenes to keep him interested). After I pay to see it, I will hit bittorrent and plant him in front of the tv until the dvd comes out.
 
I would be carful, my younger brotehr did that, took him a month to get off it and he hogged the computer liek crazy, also its not good for his eyes at the young of an age...
 
I got roped into seeing this today and man was it lame. I think it had two scenes that were interesting because of the cg, but other than that I was stunned. The worst was the pointless added on song about X-mas. If I ever become an insomniac I might get this DVD to solve my problems.
 
a pointless x-mas song...SUNG BY AEROSMITH AS ELVES!!!

I'm sorry, but i really want to get it accross that you do NOT want those images in your head (shudder)
 
i was going to take my g/f to see this since she loved the book. i guess i will warn her about this movie so i don't have to take her.
 
Mind you, i like the book. It was just done the complete wrong way, and somehow lost all the magic. The added in a few characters, threw in some Coater segments, and ruined any cool parts of the movie with the bad kind of shlock
 
No fucking way! When I saw this movie I had a frigging blast. It was a god damn acid trip times 5000. If they ever do release it into IMax it'll be awesome.
 
[quote name='x0thedeadzone0x']No shaq-fuing way! When I saw this movie I had a frigging blast. It was a god damn acid trip times 5000. If they ever do release it into IMax it'll be awesome.[/quote]


...And how would you know what an acid trip would be like? :)

It actually is in Imax already. Thats the only way i can personnaly suggest it.
 
[quote name='Wshakspear'][quote name='x0thedeadzone0x']No shaq-fuing way! When I saw this movie I had a frigging blast. It was a god damn acid trip times 5000. If they ever do release it into IMax it'll be awesome.[/quote]


...And how would you know what an acid trip would be like? :)

It actually is in Imax already. Thats the only way i can personnaly suggest it.[/quote]

>_>
 
[quote name='Wshakspear'][quote name='x0thedeadzone0x']No shaq-fuing way! When I saw this movie I had a frigging blast. It was a god damn acid trip times 5000. If they ever do release it into IMax it'll be awesome.[/quote]


...And how would you know what an acid trip would be like? :)

It actually is in Imax already. Thats the only way i can personnaly suggest it.[/quote]

mmmm acid, good times, good times. I recomend everyone try it, atleast 3 or 4 times.
 
When I was working in a bookstore many years ago we would sell at least 250 copies of that book every Xmas season. This was always baffling to me but then I've always detested nearly anything Santa Claus related.
 
[quote name='bignick']mmmm acid, good times, good times. I recomend everyone try it, atleast 3 or 4 times.[/quote]

Or at least take 3 or 4 hits at once.
 
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