To Cheapy: Mass Effect Book "Dump Calculations"

S

Simon D I

CAGiversary!
Hey, Cheapy. You mentioned that the two things in your bathroom late last year were your Nintendo DS and the Mass Effect Book.

Anyways, I recently bought the book, and I also only read it while on the "throne." What I've been doing is reading one chapter per dump. Bringing me to Chapter 15 as of 3:55pm today (central time).

So my question is; how many dumps did it take YOU to finish this excellent crap-expelling book?
 
[quote name='Simon D I']Hey, Cheapy. You mentioned that the two things in your bathroom late last year were your Nintendo DS and the Mass Effect Book.

Anyways, I recently bought the book, and I also only read it while on the "throne." What I've been doing is reading one chapter per dump. Bringing me to Chapter 15 as of 3:55pm today (central time).

So my question is; how many dumps did it take YOU to finish this excellent crap-expelling book?[/QUOTE]
Man, I stopped reading/gaming in the shitter after reading some horror stories about anal fissures and hemorrhoids.

Though, I do throw those free GFW and EGM in there from time to time.
 
Hahahah, yeah man EGM is an awesome mag, but even better in the shitter!!!

But holy crap, dude, I've heard of hemorrhoids,..but ANAL FISSURES!?!?!

...now that you mention it,...I think some Biotic in the Mass Effect Book had the "Anal Fissure" tech... :eek:
 
[quote name='WhipSmartBanky']Man, I stopped reading/gaming in the shitter after reading some horror stories about anal fissures and hemorrhoids.
[/quote]

WTF?!?! What is this all about?
 
[quote name='WhipSmartBanky']Man, I stopped reading/gaming in the shitter after reading some horror stories about anal fissures and hemorrhoids.

Though, I do throw those free GFW and EGM in there from time to time.[/QUOTE]

The trick is to stop pushing after all the poop is out.
 
Jesus, I hate being in the bathroom. I never understood why people love to spend hours on the can after the initial five minutes or so of pooping and then staying there anyways.
 
Damn...fatbeer is right...I forgot about the asswash...

Now THAT would be some fun reading! Having a delightful cascade of sparkling water crash against your cheeks while immersing yourself into a story would be nothing short of spectacular! Shit...in the intense parts of the book, I'd hit the Vag-Wash and make things REAL intense!!

Holy crap (no punk intended), what an idea!


and on a side note, I think the next DumpNovel I will experience is the "Darth Bane" novel by Drew Karpashyan (sp?), the same dude that wrote the Mass Effect book/most of the game/other Star Wars books.

I wish I knew about this reading tactic back when I had to read Shakespeare and other unexciting literature for school!
 
Strange... I'm currently reading Mass Effect on the can as well. I think I average 2 chapters a dump, so either I read really fast or I shit really slowly.
 
i hope you guys realize that staying on the pooper makes you smell like a mixture of... well poop, and toilet water. you dont notice it yourself because you get used to the smell, but trust me, is no good :(
 
That's not a problem for me, I take a shower after a dump.

Not a big deal as I go only once every day, and coincidentally I shower that often as well.
 
That's not a problem for me, I take a shower after a dump.
Click to expand...

I pretty much always do that as well! Unless I'm at work, but that's okay because my books stay at home, thus making me take short, to-the-point dumps @ work.


OH! and quick update (I may have to make a thread for Dump Books....)
Since I finished REVELATION, which was AWESOME, I am now reading WILLIAM GIBSON's "NEUROMANCER" ...on the "throne"
 
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