Retail Employee Stories Part 7: "I'm Not Supposed To Be Here Today!"

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Demolition Man

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Part seven in CAG's on going series on the life of retail employees. If you are here to talk about how awful your last ten visits to Wal-Mart have been then you have found the wrong thread. Otherwise enjoy the stories from CAG's many retail employees.

Clerks. The movie that defined life in a convenience store is now coming out on Blu-Ray November 17th.

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Previous parts:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5 (aka Part Cinco)
Part 6: The Life & Tragedies Of GrilledWitOnions
 
i used to work at bestbuy and i was on my break and it was almost over so i go outside the break room to punch in , and what to i see a person walking around in a full body dora the explorer costume i shit you not, looking at video games and in general walking around the store. no it was no for a promo , the managers did not know what to make of it.

then another time right before the store was closing , and nobody was in the store this guy trys to steal a pc game , funny thing is he was saying that it fell into his pants , whats even better? the pc gaming he was stealing? $15 barbie game!
 
[quote name='nosnipe']
then another time right before the store was closing , and nobody was in the store this guy trys to steal a pc game , funny thing is he was saying that it fell into his pants , whats even better? the pc gaming he was stealing? $15 barbie game![/QUOTE]
Perhaps too ashamed to buy it? :lol:
 
I was shopping for groceries at Target and I got in line to pay. It was taking forever because only two lanes were open, so I start just staring into space. I come back from my zone-out and see that the lady's purse in front of me was unzipped and inside I could see some Spice Island bottles. It took me a second to comprehend that people don't normally carry spices around in their purses. Why she wanted to steal those of all things was beyond me, but I guess she really wanted them. Best part is when the cashier stares at her and goes, "Ma'am, you'll need to pay for those spices. You can put them on the belt now." The lady doesn't even pretend she's embarrassed or ashamed that she's caught trying to shoplift, sets them in the gum area, and goes, "No, that's okay. I don't want them." Not even the flushed cheeks all other shoplifters develop when they're caught! People have no shame.
 
[quote name='randomoutburst']..."Ma'am, you'll need to pay for those spices. You can put them on the belt now." The lady doesn't even pretend she's embarrassed or ashamed that she's caught trying to shoplift, sets them in the gum area, and goes, "No, that's okay. I don't want them."[/QUOTE]

It's a shame the cashier called her out on it. If she had quietly informed security to check the lady as she was walking out, you could have seen a pretty interesting bust go down.

images
 
[quote name='Kerig']It's a shame the cashier called her out on it. If she had quietly informed security to check the lady as she was walking out, you could have seen a pretty interesting bust go down.

[/QUOTE]

Cashier prolly knew the rules for catching shop lifters... I dunno if it's a set of national guidelines, but in IL it's nearly impossible.

You have to see them come in w/o product, take the product, conceal the product, once they conceal the product you can't lose sight of them, and then they have to go beyond all points of sale.
 
[quote name='Bubbakja']You have to see them come in w/o product, take the product, conceal the product, once they conceal the product you can't lose sight of them, and then they have to go beyond all points of sale.[/QUOTE]

No offense, but most of those sound either wrong or VERY store-specific, not law.

See them come in w/o product - you can't exactly see if her closed purse has spice in it when she comes in.

conceal the product - I can steal something without concealing it, this says that walking out the door with a humidifier in my hands would be grounds for dismissal.

can't lose sight of them - there's really nothing valid about this, you can be checked for shoplifting if they have a reason to suspect you, if there are only two employees in F.Y.E., for instance, there's no way they can keep eyes on you the entire time with other customers in the store.

have to go beyond all points of sale - That's mostly correct, but technically they have to either physically leave the store or in the case of stores like wal-mart, they have to enter the division zone where the carts/greeters are kept. Target, not really having that, will have to "meet" you outside of the front door. I think the rule of thumb is "beyond the front door security beeper".
 
[quote name='Bubbakja']Cashier prolly knew the rules for catching shop lifters... I dunno if it's a set of national guidelines, but in IL it's nearly impossible.

You have to see them come in w/o product, take the product, conceal the product, once they conceal the product you can't lose sight of them, and then they have to go beyond all points of sale.[/QUOTE]


Same rules over at Best Buy. It sucks so bad.
 
[quote name='Frosty The Batman']Same rules over at Best Buy. It sucks so bad.[/QUOTE]


I worked at KB Toys and Best Buy and both had the same list of rules. This could be IL law though, not sure.
 
That's insanely stupid if it's the rule across the board. Alright, back to employee stories...

I've got a little one:

Girl using a Sony Picture Maker (same as Kodak one) sticks her MicroSD card in the miniSD slot (since there isn't a MicroSD slot at all on this one, you need an adapter), it goes somewhere inside the multi-reader unit of the machine nowhere to be found.

She demanded that we buy her a new card since hers is gone...Cisco, that endless spitting of yours is really annoying after seeing it from the corner of my eye 50 times...

I ended up taking the card reader out, dismantled it, and found her card wedged between somewhere and something. After about a month, we finally got it back to her, but not before I got to see the "priceless pictures" she said she lost forever, including one of her holding her boob drawn up like a smiley face...not to mention the cameraphone-video she made of it talking :)
 
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[quote name='Kerig']That's insanely stupid if it's the rule across the board. Alright, back to employee stories...

I've got a little one:

Girl using a Sony Picture Maker (same as Kodak one) sticks her MicroSD card in the miniSD slot (since there isn't a MicroSD slot at all on this one, you need an adapter), it goes somewhere inside the multi-reader unit of the machine nowhere to be found.

She demanded that we buy her a new card since hers is gone...Cisco, that endless spitting of yours is really annoying after seeing it from the corner of my eye 50 times...

I ended up taking the card reader out, dismantled it, and found her card wedged between somewhere and something. After about a month, we finally got it back to her, but not before I got to see the "priceless pictures" she said she lost forever, including one of her holding her boob drawn up like a smiley face...not to mention the cameraphone-video she made of it talking :)[/QUOTE]

You should definitely post that on the internet somewhere if you still have it, lol.
 
I saw what was on her card, I didn't copy her private files. That's how people get fired:

Customer has sensitive file, loses file, gets it back a month later, sees it on the internet 2 months later. Not too hard to put the pieces together on that one...

But, for your enjoyment I won't leave you "empty-handed". Here's a not-so-similar NSFW re-enactment of the picture in question.
 
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I know men are supposedly better than women at spatial awareness or something that basically boils down to "men are better at tetris", but this one just made me scratch my head. This woman asked if we had a table available for nine people. I said she would have to wait for approx. 45 minutes until we had empty tables adjacent to one another so we could push them together and make a large table. She points to one of our empty six-seater booths and asks, "Why can't we just squeeze into that one? It's available right now!" I blinked a couple of times then said, "Well...maybe if you have a bunch of small kids and we put a chair at the end of the booth...you MIGHT be able to fit..."
"Oh no, it's all adults. I think we'd like to sit there please."

I argued with her briefly before a manager approached to see what the problem was and continued the argument for me. Eventually my manager let the lady sit at the table until the party arrived, then they whined that there wasn't enough room and complained to us. They had to wait another hour and twenty minutes because the tables we had planned on saving for them before the argument had already been seated again. So sad. :)
 
[quote name='Kerig']I saw what was on her card, I didn't copy her private files. That's how people get fired:

Customer has sensitive file, loses file, gets it back a month later, sees it on the internet 2 months later. Not too hard to put the pieces together on that one...

But, for your enjoyment I won't leave you "empty-handed". Here's a not-so-similar NSFW re-enactment of the picture in question.[/QUOTE]

LOL :applause:
 
[quote name='Kerig'] but not before I got to see the "priceless pictures" she said she lost forever, including one of her holding her boob drawn up like a smiley face...not to mention the cameraphone-video she made of it talking :)[/QUOTE]

lol
 
This is why anytime somebody donates CDRs I take them home. You never know what will be on them. One person had gone to the Super Bowl and taken pictures of the halftime show from the field. It was pretty sweet. Nothing risque... yet.
 
Dear Middle-aged Housewife,

If you have issues using a RAZR do NOT buy a Blackberry. You have absolutely no need for one and I do not need to waste 3 hours of my time explaning what an app is.
 
[quote name='JT1138']Dear Middle-aged Housewife,

If you have issues using a RAZR do NOT buy a Blackberry. You have absolutely no need for one and I do not need to waste 3 hours of my time explaning what an app is.[/QUOTE]

You just described my mom, but she doesn't like to bother the nice employees, so I have to spend the three hours teaching her how to use her blackberry that she doesn't need.
 
[quote name='Chairman_LMAO']You just described my mom, but she doesn't like to bother the nice employees, so I have to spend the three hours teaching her how to use her blackberry that she doesn't need.[/QUOTE]

Replace the Blackberry with a laptop and you have my mom. Because I want to spend large chunks of my time there explaining how to work the thing when the PC they have (brand new!) works just fine.
 
I worked at staples part time a year and a half ago, and although I never really had any shocking incidents there were a couple of humorous gaffes. One of my most memorable moments was when I had to walk the length of the store back and forth about 5 times to haggle a display piece of furniture. Only managers were allowed to haggle prices, and because my manager didn't want to walk down to the furniture section(and likewise the customers didn't want to go over and see the manager) I ended up being the middle man for a cross-store haggling process that took about 15 minutes when it could've been done in 2.


Not really a retail story, but I took on a job at an engineering firm about 3 or so years ago. On my first day, only about 2 hours into the job, a man walks into the room, looks at me, and starts crying. Apparently he quit his job a few days before for another job, only to find he didn't get this new job, and came back to see if he could get his old job back but saw me and thought he had already been replaced. Needless to say it was pretty awkward.
 
[quote name='neocisco']Replace the Blackberry with a laptop and you have my mom. Because I want to spend large chunks of my time there explaining how to work the thing when the PC they have (brand new!) works just fine.[/QUOTE]
If they have a working PC they know how to use, why would you need to explain how a laptop works? It's a small PC with a battery.

[quote name='eastshore4']Only managers were allowed to haggle prices, and because my manager didn't want to walk down to the furniture section(and likewise the customers didn't want to go over and see the manager) I ended up being the middle man for a cross-store haggling process that took about 15 minutes when it could've been done in 2.[/quote]
God, I hate lazy managers.

[quote name='eastshore4']Apparently he quit his job a few days before for another job, only to find he didn't get this new job, and came back to see if he could get his old job back but saw me and thought he had already been replaced. Needless to say it was pretty awkward.[/QUOTE]
Lesson learned here: Never quit for another job until you've actually been hired for it.
 
[quote name='Zorpheus']If they have a working PC they know how to use, why would you need to explain how a laptop works? It's a small PC with a battery.[/QUOTE]

Believe me, I know.
 
[quote name='Bubbakja']Cashier prolly knew the rules for catching shop lifters... I dunno if it's a set of national guidelines, but in IL it's nearly impossible.

You have to see them come in w/o product, take the product, conceal the product, once they conceal the product you can't lose sight of them, and then they have to go beyond all points of sale.[/QUOTE]
Laws the exact same in NH.
 
[quote name='blissskr']Laws the exact same in NH.[/QUOTE]


BB LP can Now Tackle you. They have to follow every step in the guideline to the letter but if done right, BB manager can tell the LP person to detain you by force. If you want to run out with a PS3, They can run after you and detain you.
 
I just have started working at a Walmart. I had a guy come in on the very first night I worked there and was like you need to set up my prepaid cellphone because I don't know how to do it. Hell everyone has left I'm the only one here because the other guy has run off to talk to his girlfriend in the back and I'm supposed to be getting trained, I knew nothing at all about the phones. The guy starts cussing me and tells me we sell the phones I should know what to do. Finally the other worker comes over and we have about 10 minutes before we go home. He looks the guy in the face and says I've got more important things to do figure it out your damn self and just pushes the phone back to the guy. The customer completely snaps and jumps over the counter and grabs the guy and they just start throwing punches. I am yelling on the walkie for LP and someone call 911. Finally the police arrive and management finally gets off their lazy ass to come see what the commotion is. The employee who refused to do the sale still works there and nothing has come from the incident.
 
BB LP can Now Tackle you. They have to follow every step in the guideline to the letter but if done right, BB manager can tell the LP person to detain you by force. If you want to run out with a PS3, They can run after you and detain you.

That not entirely true, if you work LP you can not touch the person until they are away from the store or outside the door. If you tackled them they could say hey i was going to pay for that still. It has to be completely away from the point of sale stands. Employees themselves are not supposed to do anything to anyone stealing either, I told a manager I saw a guy stealing video games he was like I cant do anything just proceed to walk up to the guy and use aggressive hospitality. Why do managers get so damn lazy?
 
[quote name='evilsuperman33']I just have started working at a Walmart. I had a guy come in on the very first night I worked there and was like you need to set up my prepaid cellphone because I don't know how to do it. Hell everyone has left I'm the only one here because the other guy has run off to talk to his girlfriend in the back and I'm supposed to be getting trained, I knew nothing at all about the phones. The guy starts cussing me and tells me we sell the phones I should know what to do. Finally the other worker comes over and we have about 10 minutes before we go home. He looks the guy in the face and says I've got more important things to do figure it out your damn self and just pushes the phone back to the guy. The customer completely snaps and jumps over the counter and grabs the guy and they just start throwing punches. I am yelling on the walkie for LP and someone call 911. Finally the police arrive and management finally gets off their lazy ass to come see what the commotion is. The employee who refused to do the sale still works there and nothing has come from the incident.[/QUOTE]

I feel for you. I worked at Kmart, where every employee has this mentality, and every customer has anger issues.
 
My new manager blew my mind tonight.
Our shake machine was turned off and this girl at my table had asked for a shake. I didn't know the machine was off, so rang it in to our system before realizing I couldn't even get her a shake. I broke the bad news to the girl, and she quickly assured me that it was okay, she would just have something else. I asked my manager to void the item, but she goes, "Oh, no, it's okay, I'll handmake her one. It's not like the other shake, but it's a shake!"
She actually got ice cream, milk, and chocolate fudge, blended it together, and made this girl a milkshake.

Sometimes we should go above what is required of us in order to please others and I forget that sometimes. Kudos to my manager for showing me not everyone at my job is apathetic, and that someone actually cares about the people we call "guests".
The girl left a 50% tip because she was so pleased at being treated like an individual and not just one of the hundreds of people we serve every day.

Funny this should happen today, the day when my spirit was downtrodden at the apathy and harshness I saw in so many around me. It gave me such a lift that I think I might actually walk into work with a smile tomorrow.
 
A true rarity, a manager willing to work beyond their minimum requirements. I've had a couple of managers like that before and those are the ones that instill loyalty and a stronger work ethic in their subordinates. I was always willing to go an extra step for them since I knew they were willing to do it themselves.
 
I worked at Walmart, can't say I recommend it. Like others have stated, got abandoned on the floor during training. Then the store manager would have little test for us which were bullshit, like cleaning up nonexistant spills and such. Hell I was the only one that did anything according to the distract manager. Probably could've had the store managers job if I had talked to him about it before getting fired for no reason.

Oh yeah, and it's such a safety hazard, hell I fell off a ladder and the nightshift manager just told me to get back to work.
 
The customers who shove stuff in your face and say "I don't know how to do it. You do it!" really piss me off. If you need an explanation or help fine. What do you do for other stuff in your life though? At RadioShack, I had customers that were so lost that they've actually thought we were company X before just because they bought something with a name brand on it.
 
Another tale of golf stupidity. We had a customer come up to the till yesterday and he wanted to buy a couple of items. We just got new systems earlier in the week so some of the cashiers are still a little shaky at using them, and for whatever reason, some items don't want to scan so you have to punch it in manually, or go find a similar item to scan if it only has a UPC code. A minor inconvience but it happens. Well this mouth breather decides that when his item doesn't scan and the cashier told him it'd only be a moment he proceeds to bellow "I'm going somewhere else to get this then!". (Mind you this is a mighty inconvience on his part as he would have to drive at least 25 miles to the next closest golf retailer.) We reassured him it would only be a minute and he calmed down...people.
 
I work at Target and they requested cashier backup due to the Labor Day rush and I hop on a register. When the lines were under control, I shut my light off and went on to begin ringing up the last guest who happened to have three transactions. A few minutes pass and a couple joins the line. I tell them I'm closed via my unlit light. The woman accuses me of just turning the line off (apparently I have a hidden hand that flicks lights on and off) followed by her husband who quickly says "Well, you can take your light and shove it up your" and before he says '"ass" he stops himself. This was because either:

a) he noticed the two children that were with the person I was ringing up and was embarassed.

b) As I was telling him I could bring a manager to clear up the problem, the register directly diagonally from me had its light on and only one person at the counter and walked over here.

Greed from guests and selfish acts from my fellow employees (I've seen some of my peers literally run after giving me their guest to help) make me hate the job. Doing the right thing and knowing it's right keeps me there.

There was a silver lining though: I bought the last copy of GH: World Tour for the PS2 for $21.45. It came with the new controller with the extra neckbuttons.
 
Some customers are so unbelievably rude, but it's the nice ones that make up for everything. I had a guy shake my hand after a sale a few days ago. Little things like that make customers stand out to me and I'll go out of my way to do what I can from that customer from now on. Respect earns respect.
 
[quote name='Bubbakja']Cashier prolly knew the rules for catching shop lifters... I dunno if it's a set of national guidelines, but in IL it's nearly impossible.

You have to see them come in w/o product, take the product, conceal the product, once they conceal the product you can't lose sight of them, and then they have to go beyond all points of sale.[/QUOTE]

That's how it is here in Ohio as well. The loss prevention people has to see someone not scan an item or put it in their pocket/purse and then walk out. Soon as they hit the door they can then ask them to come back in. Because if they don't leave the store with it then it not stealing.
 
I've been in retail for a few years now and I like my job to an extent, at least when I'm unhappy I try not to show it. But, I am not as patient for idiots/rude people as I used to be. I tend to every once in a while to snap back when someone is being really rude or trying to insult me(rarely happens). Usually the only time this happens is when I'm working the CS desk with a female, often I'll step in a calm the person down because in my experience the females tend to get most of the sh** from the customers.
 
I have a couple from way back in the day when I worked retail...

One Christmas rush, there were only 2 of us working a really busy day because a couple of people flaked on us. This was at a Sam Goody (that tells you how long ago this was). The 2 of us are working register. There is no one on the floor, so I'm sure every shoplifter in the world called all their friends, and this dude is looking at a "boombox" we have on the floor that was on clearance.He asked if we had any new in the back. I knew that we didn't, so I answered "No." He looked at me with a snide look and said "Well then you don't have a sale." The person I was waiting on said "And you don't have a radio." I gave them my employee discount.

Another time, a little old lady came in at Christmas with a list of tapes. It was stuff like Iron Maiden, Metal Church, etc. I looked all around and found the tapes she wanted and asked her if there was anything else she needed. She said there wasn't. As she was folding up her list, I said "You should be ashamed of yourself." She looked surprised and asked why. I told her that here it was Christmas time and she was shopping for herself. She cracked up. That one went all the way to the regional manager because she called everyone to tell them what a great worker I was :)
 
[quote name='neocisco']A true rarity, a manager willing to work beyond their minimum requirements. I've had a couple of managers like that before and those are the ones that instill loyalty and a stronger work ethic in their subordinates. I was always willing to go an extra step for them since I knew they were willing to do it themselves.[/QUOTE]

I wish I had a manager like that. My store manager is such a dick. He doesn't do anything that helps the store at all. Everything he does screws up the store even more. For example, he doesn't follow very simple rules on how he should do certain things. If he follows the rules, the store looks nice, but since he likes to create his own rules, the store usually looks like shit until me or the other manager, who actually gives a shit, fixes his mistakes.

Don't even get me started on the scheduling or how we should be pushing certain things while we're working. If we only sell 2 or 3 Rewards programs in a shift, we get fucking yelled at, but he never schedules himself during the busy shifts. He always schedules himself during all the slow shifts and he basically does NOTHING. He doesn't sell anything during those shifts and he never does anything either. Lately, he's started to write down every employee's name on a piece of paper followed by 3-5 things that employee has to keep neat and continue to clean until they quit working. What does he get write down on the list for himself? Nothing. The only thing he does that no one else does is close the pay week. And the only reason no one else does it is because we are not allowed to do it.

It's ridiculous that when we don't meet the sales goal for the week, we get blamed for it. And to put it into perspective for everyone I'll use numbers. I sold 11 rewards last week for our store. I only worked around 20 hours. He sold 10 and he worked about 45 hours. Does that make sense to anyone how other managers or even I get blamed for not meeting sales goals? The way I see it, I'm working twice as hard as he is just selling shit. That's totally disregarding all the other stuff I have to get done throughout the week as well.
 
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ohh those types of managers. they think their job is to delegate and they don't have to sale. i hate that type.
 
[quote name='Scorch']ohh those types of managers. they think their job is to delegate and they don't have to sale. i hate that type.[/QUOTE]

Who doesn't? But, I can't sit here and say he was always like that. When I first started working for him, he was a much better manager. He was overbearing and told you to do a lot of stuff, but he did his equal share. He wouldn't leave it up everyone else to get shit done.

Now that I think about it more carefully, he started to become like this ever since it was announced that our store was the best in the district. Ever since that week, he's been going downhill on the good manager scale.
 
[quote name='Skuttie']I worked at Walmart, can't say I recommend it. Like others have stated, got abandoned on the floor during training. Then the store manager would have little test for us which were bullshit, like cleaning up nonexistant spills and such. Hell I was the only one that did anything according to the distract manager. Probably could've had the store managers job if I had talked to him about it before getting fired for no reason.

Oh yeah, and it's such a safety hazard, hell I fell off a ladder and the nightshift manager just told me to get back to work.[/QUOTE]

HA! Reminds me of a story when I was working at Sprint. I was on a ladder fixing the roof because water was falling on our display phones. I fell and landed on my wrist. There was no MOD and nobody knew what to do. Finally, a customer took me to the hospital (which was only a few blocks down the street).

At the hospital, I found that I had a broken wrist and I would need to be in a cast for several weeks. Returning to Sprint, I was told that I was "under investigation" to prove that I did not purposely jump off the ladder to obtain worker's comp.

After several weeks of corporate BS, Sprint finally paid my medical bills, except for one. I found out that Sprint did not pay my X-Ray bill because "It was not necessary for the diagnosis of my injury." I wrote a letter to the collection agency and they sued Sprint for the money.
 
[quote name='Skuttie']Oh yeah, and it's such a safety hazard, hell I fell off a ladder and the nightshift manager just told me to get back to work.[/QUOTE]
I worked briefly at Toys R' Us doing overnight stock...talk about a safety hazard. They had us in two-man teams moving around giant, double high bike racks across the store WITH BIKES STILL ON THEM. Not just one or two bikes either, like 20-30 bikes. These racks had to weigh at least 500 pounds, and they had two of us newly hired workers doing it. No hard-hats, nothing.

That place was just unbelievable. The things that go on there at night really make you scratch your head. I mean, like I said, we were newly hired and they had us operating fork lifts, electric scaffolds, etc... the first night on the job. That place was a death trap. I wound up quitting after like four days there.
 
[quote name='P00PONABuN']Another tale of golf stupidity.[/QUOTE]

I worked in golf retail for a few years in the mid 90's. Damn its a funny business. Here is a quick story from the past.

My friend Joe and I are out playing twilight at a local course. The 7th tee is backed up a bit and sure as shit a guy I sold a driver to asks to join us for the last 3 holes. No problem I'll play with anyone. As soon as I say yes he starts telling me about how shitty the driver I sold him is. A couple minutes later we can hit and Joe who is at the time a super good player asks the customer to let him try the driver. Customer tells Joe you couldn't hit it anyways since its for a lefty. Joe says don't worry tees up a ball flips the driver so the toe is pointing down and hits a bullet down the middle. Joe hands the driver back to this guy and tells him there isn't anything wrong with the club. :applause:
 
[quote name='darkslime']This thread makes me never want to work for anyone other than myself[/QUOTE]

No kidding. My husband and I at one time discussed opening our own business. Whether we will or not remains to be seen, as we are still in school, but working for yourself is really the only way to make sure you can run things the way you want them run and not have to deal with corporate bullshit.
 
[quote name='randomoutburst']No kidding. My husband and I at one time discussed opening our own business. Whether we will or not remains to be seen, as we are still in school, but working for yourself is really the only way to make sure you can run things the way you want them run and not have to deal with corporate bullshit.[/QUOTE]
It's actually my dream to open my own retail store.

Did I mention I was crazy? :bouncy:
 
Went into FYE today, out of boredom, I never buy anything there (terrible prices, :roll:) but I was there with my friend and here's what happened:

Retail guy: So...y'know Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 came out today, right?
Me: Alright
Retail guy: Well, it's got combos
Me: Really

Then my friend and I walked out of the store and I couldn't stop laughing. It's got combos?! That's your selling point? rofl
 
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