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The worst database ever created: emergency room details


#31 theloserboy   I am disappoint CAGiversary!   315 Posts   Joined 7.5 Years Ago  

theloserboy

Posted 20 January 2010 - 07:27 AM

Not for the cringey types.

Spoiler

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#32 speedracer   Banned Banned   3735 Posts   Joined 11.4 Years Ago  

speedracer

Posted 20 January 2010 - 12:31 PM

Treatment date 3/10/2008
Age 31
Sex Female
Race Black
Narrative BOYFRIEND INSERTED A BASEBALL IN HER VAGINA 4 HOURS AGO UNABLE TO REMOVAL BASEBALL FOREIGN BODY VAGINA REMOVAL

Make sure to be safe and always use whiffle balls.

Treatment date 5/21/2008
Age 19
Sex Female
Race White
Narrative PT WEARING A PAIR OF THIN SHORTS WHEN HER DOG GOT EXCITTED AND BIT HER ON THE VAGINA AND SUSTAINED A LACERATION

I hate it when my dog gets excited and bites me on my vagina.
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#33 JolietJake   Banned Banned   20202 Posts   Joined 7.5 Years Ago  

JolietJake

Posted 20 January 2010 - 12:57 PM

Not for the cringey types.

Spoiler

How the hell is that even possible....:cold:

I enjoy the videos and puns posted by Joliet Jake. I think he's almost as funny as my favorite comedian, Dane Cook. Now excuse me while I listen to Fallout Boy's music on their myspace page.


#34 fatherofcaitlyn   Der Uber Hoarder CAGiversary!   7155 Posts   Joined 10.0 Years Ago  

fatherofcaitlyn

Posted 20 January 2010 - 01:54 PM

What in god's name was that fantasy?


If you have an itch, scratch it?
Synergize, bitches!
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#35 crunchb3rry   HODOR! CAGiversary!   5524 Posts   Joined 9.0 Years Ago  

crunchb3rry

Posted 20 January 2010 - 07:03 PM

What in god's name was that fantasy?

"She unzips my pants and slowly pulls out by throbbing member. She licks down the shaft and then slowly starts inserting the coat hanger..."


Reminds me of Doug Stanhope's cock fingering joke.

#36 Chika   yep CAGiversary!   12902 Posts   Joined 8.9 Years Ago  

Posted 20 January 2010 - 07:56 PM

Treatment date 4/24/2008
Age
35
Sex
Female
Race
White
Narrative "FAINTED ONTO FLOOR FROM STOOL" - FOUND ON BATHROOM FLOOR PROBABLE SEIZURE

....fainted from a stool....


Ambiguous! Haha, maybe he was taking a dump?


I went to nursing school and saw this several times. It's actually not uncommon. It's called Vasovagal Sincope. Your vagal nerve basically covers your digestive tract and when dropping a large or difficult duce, particularly old people and people with high blood pressure can over stimulate the nerve and cause blood pressure to drop or cause breathing to stop temporarily. As soon as you pass out and stop pushing, normal heartbeat and breathing resume.

"Vagus Nerve Stimulation: Fainting may occur if the vagus nerve, which supplies the neck, chest, and intestine, is stimulated. When stimulated, the vagus nerve slows the heart. Such stimulation also causes nausea and cool, clammy skin. This type of fainting is called vasovagal (vasomotor) syncope. The vagus nerve is stimulated by pain, fear, other distress (such as that due to the sight of blood), vomiting, a large bowel movement, and urination. Fainting during or immediately after urination is called micturition syncope. Rarely, vigorous swallowing causes fainting due to stimulation of the vagus nerve."

Your mom is a dick.