Something hard for me to admit as a gamer

I have absolutely zero luck with women, and getting laid. Sometimes I wonder whats wrong with me? Apparently, physically there is nothing as I've had previous girlfriends and friend tell me that I could be a model. Girls have asked me if I were gay because I am "pretty". I can somewhat guess that I don't really have any social skills as I grew up as the quiet kid, not necessarily due to gaming but because I was always the kid that was reading therefore I missed out on a lot of opportunities to make a lot of friends when I was younger but I still have a few friends. New ones seem to come and go as I've found out that you can't really trust a whole lot of people.

I guess, I'm just wanting to know some tips from people who are in the same boat or just what helped you out with ladies.

You've had girlfriends, but weren't getting laid? Were they in high school (assuming you are out of high school)?

If you're wanting to date, and don't have an active social life, a dating website may work for you. I know a few friends of mine that found success with them. I actually met my girlfriend (of 1.5 years) on Myspace; we weren't necessarily weren't looking for dates at the time, but I guess it worked out that way.

Otherwise, you just have to work on conversation skills. Get friendly with a girl. Get close enough to her, and she'll likely try to fix you up with some of her single girlfriends (if you're a nice guy). Or, meet some people at church/bars/bowling/whatever interests you.

Trust me; there's probably nothing wrong with you. I'm sure there's thousands of guys out there right now feeling the same way as you.

What he's saying is use the internet to buy used womens underwear, not necessarily used by a woman.

Protip: confidence, it goes far.

Looking "pretty" is usually bad from my own observations. Girls will treat you as a friend.

Just be yourself and be aggressive. Find out the girls personality and weakness then exploit them to your benefit.

[quote name='Zenjiro']I have absolutely zero luck with women, and getting laid. Sometimes I wonder whats wrong with me? Apparently, physically there is nothing as I've had previous girlfriends and friend tell me that I could be a model. Girls have asked me if I were gay because I am "pretty". I can somewhat guess that I don't really have any social skills as I grew up as the quiet kid, not necessarily due to gaming but because I was always the kid that was reading therefore I missed out on a lot of opportunities to make a lot of friends when I was younger but I still have a few friends. New ones seem to come and go as I've found out that you can't really trust a whole lot of people.

I guess, I'm just wanting to know some tips from people who are in the same boat or just what helped you out with ladies.[/QUOTE]

I used to be like that. But, one day, I finally realized that all you need to do is talk to girls and be confident. If you mess up, oh well, you'll probably never see them again. Worse case scenario is that she doesn't talk to you. Just go out and do it. Find a girl, scope her out for a minute, then find an appropriate conversation starter, and that's all that's to it. It's going to take a while to get over the fear of talking to random chicks, but when it goes away, you'll be swimming in the ladies.

Shut up.

Use a dating site. Write it out there in your bio, honestly, what you are. Send well written and well thought out messages to like-minded females. Some girl out there will see your bio and like it, no matter how weird and anti social you think you are.* I guarantee it. Be patient.

*If you are in any way psychotic or uber macho douchebag, nevermind.

**Don't use the words "Nice guy" in your bio, that looks really wussy. Remember you have to be an asshole at least slightly to get women.

Watch one Steve McQueen per month and get a vibe of his charisma. Charisma goes a long way even if you fake it.

Well...are you gay? I mean, you don't have to be with the ladies ya know.

hookers and masturbation
behave yourself

Have Confidence and be in control of every situation e.g When you ask a girl out to the movies don't ask her what movie she wants to see you decide what movie you will be watching, 2nd e.g when you are talking on the phone at the end of every conversation be the one to say i gotta go.

[quote name='Zenjiro']I have absolutely zero luck with women, and getting laid. Sometimes I wonder whats wrong with me? Apparently, physically there is nothing as I've had previous girlfriends and friend tell me that I could be a model. Girls have asked me if I were gay because I am "pretty". I can somewhat guess that I don't really have any social skills as I grew up as the quiet kid, not necessarily due to gaming but because I was always the kid that was reading therefore I missed out on a lot of opportunities to make a lot of friends when I was younger but I still have a few friends. New ones seem to come and go as I've found out that you can't really trust a whole lot of people.

I guess, I'm just wanting to know some tips from people who are in the same boat or just what helped you out with ladies.[/QUOTE]

Well try dating sites first off, and here are some good tips.
-Take a nice profile picture, one that says you but is not over the top.
-Be 100% honest in your profile, and don't be afraid to put down what you like (just don't go too intense).
-Browse often but don't be desperate when talking to a girl, or just don't take the first thing you see.

Basically when you message a girl be yourself, just say hi, I saw your profile and I am interested in getting to know you or something to that matter. Also when you talk to her be yourself, I can't stress this enough. You want a girl to love you for who YOU are and not someone else. It may take some time and patience but if you try dating sites, you might just hit it lucky.

I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say whatever is making people think you are gay is probably having something to do with your problem.

[quote name='Cracka']I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say whatever is making people think you are gay is probably having something to do with your problem.[/QUOTE]

I already told you why "people" ie girls think I'm gay because I look "pretty" which isn't really my fault. I don't have a gay voice nor do I dress gay however they dress.

Have you tried this strategy?

Exactly you gotta stop looking pretty. Grow whatever facial hair you can. If you have the "dainty gamer" look you need to lift some weights to look more manly.

Coming from a girl, the best advice I can give you is to be confident and be yourself. Being over the top because you are trying to be perfect is definitely a turn-off. Oh and best pick up line, "Hi". Yeah, its simple but it works! Just put yourself out there and you are bound to run into the right person!

Never really understood the whole online dating service thing. I always personally thought it was easier to transition into a relationship with a girl you already know. I mean, if you think about it, online dating sites set you up on blind dates. For the socially awkward and inept (which are probably the type of people that use these things), this can be a difficult situation and sets them up for failure. Of course, this is just my personal take on online dating.

As for the OP's main concern, there's no magic formula when it comes to women. Even the old 'be confident' shpeel only works to a certain extent. Hell, some girls even find the shy guy persona to be cute. However, I do know some good looking guys that don't do well with women and personality seems to be the deciding factor for them. If that's the case, it seems like you're left with only two roads: work on your personality or wait for a girl that likes you for who you are.

Another thought: the funny thing about attraction is you can't force someone to like you. Perhaps you can make yourself more attractive but on what grounds? You can find ways to make yourself look better but beauty only lasts for so long. You can try to change the way you act, but eventually your true character will come out - no one can keep up a charade forever. People tend to be really short-sighted, thinking 'if only I can get her to like me in the beginning'. But then what?

[quote name='blondii8745']Oh and best pick up line, "Hi". Yeah, its simple but it works! Just put yourself out there and you are bound to run into the right person![/QUOTE]

Hi

[quote name='TheShepherdSauce']Never really understood the whole online dating service thing. I always personally thought it was easier to transition into a relationship with a girl you already know. I mean, if you think about it, online dating sites set you up on blind dates. For the socially awkward and inept (which are probably the type of people that use these things), this can be a difficult situation and sets them up for failure. Of course, this is just my personal take on online dating.

As for the OP's main concern, there's no magic formula when it comes to women. Even the old 'be confident' shpeel only works to a certain extent. Hell, some girls even find the shy guy persona to be cute. However, I do know some good looking guys that don't do well with women and personality seems to be the deciding factor for them. If that's the case, it seems like you're left with only two roads: work on your personality or wait for a girl that likes you for who you are.

Another thought: the funny thing about attraction is you can't force someone to like you. Perhaps you can make yourself more attractive but on what grounds? You can find ways to make yourself look better but beauty only lasts for so long. You can try to change the way you act, but eventually your true character will come out - no one can keep up a charade forever. People tend to be really short-sighted, thinking 'if only I can get her to like me in the beginning'. But then what?[/QUOTE]

So, you're basically saying go with Friends with Benefits ? XD

I know you want my advice, so let me bless you with it:

Find a friend who is popular. Get in the photos with him (in non gay ways...just be someone in the background and make sure you get tagged)

Women love someone who is popular. (generally)

Then go to the bar/club....even if you don't wanna. Just sit down with a drink (if you're legal)

Scout the room. Look for someone all alone...and like a hawk, ATTACK! Don't even try to . Just keep it real. Sometimes just talking about being in the bar is good enough. Don't pursue her sexually though....because meeting a bitch in the club/bar ain't what it is. Ya know?

Instead, remember all those photos you took with your popular dude? Get her on facebook. First thing she's going to do is scout your pics. The more, the better. The more exciting looking (clubs/parties/groups/hanging out), the better.

You're going to use that club/bar girl as a gateway to her REAL friends. Every man/woman has 'em. The ones that you desire. The ones that you're better off with.


Now...if you're gutsy, and you ready to drop your nuts...do this (WARNING, don't do this unless you're ready to jump in the water!)

You're in your club/bar...hit up a group (2/3..no more than 4) and charm them. You might need some liquid courage for that. Then, get them to take camera phone pics of you with them. THEN, get them to add you as a friend on facebook right then and there. I've done that before. Not only do you look like a man who is aggressive, but you also can start to fill your facebook with women + women pics

Basically, what I'm typing is that you gotta first get out to get the women...and then you gotta use the women to build up your network. And then after you build your network full of women you can start finding the women you really desire (please...start deleting men off your facebook when this happens because us men are going to start to close in on your women if we notice you "got 'em")

If you have an attractive female friend, use her as your "wing man" and go out some. This will do two things:

1. Get you more comfortable in social situations

2. Being seen with a girl will unconsciously make you appear to have passed the "weirdo" test to other girls (don't worry about them thinking she's your gf, they will find out she isn't)

[quote name='Cracka']Exactly you gotta stop looking pretty. Grow whatever facial hair you can. If you have the "dainty gamer" look you need to lift some weights to look more manly.[/QUOTE]

Disagree somewhat, I lift weights but I with my appearance as far as hair, facial hair, and sometimes clothing goes I tend to go for the pretty look and I guess I pull it off because I'm part Korean. I know chicks who really dig that, they be mirin my aesthetics but also think I'm cute. Have been approached by underage girls but passed because were underage (I know I look young and all).

Not really into the chasing ladies thing, I sit back, relax and let them chase me .

I forgot to mention another thing: have lot of money

[quote name='TheShepherdSauce']Hi [/QUOTE]

Your name is TheShepherdSauce, you need to put some innuendo into your pick up lines! "Hey baby, have you ever been face to face with the shepherd sauce?"

Anyway, that guy strongpimphand... He keeps his pimp hand strong. It fine advice, but it's definitely too out there for our poor OP. You know what the OP's problem is? Look at his avatar! I love Nocturne, but if you rockin the Atlus, you rockin the Fatlus. OK?! I know you're living next to darkslime's hole! You need to move out of there, lose the Atlus, and stop chasing Yukino!

....wait, who am I talking about again?

LOL, that would work if you are 10 yrs old. At age 18, they may put you in jail for sexual assault.


[quote name='Jesus_S_Preston']Have you tried this strategy?

[/QUOTE]

[quote name='Zenjiro']I have absolutely zero luck with women, and getting laid. Sometimes I wonder whats wrong with me? Apparently, physically there is nothing as I've had previous girlfriends and friend tell me that I could be a model. Girls have asked me if I were gay because I am "pretty". I can somewhat guess that I don't really have any social skills as I grew up as the quiet kid, not necessarily due to gaming but because I was always the kid that was reading therefore I missed out on a lot of opportunities to make a lot of friends when I was younger but I still have a few friends. New ones seem to come and go as I've found out that you can't really trust a whole lot of people.

I guess, I'm just wanting to know some tips from people who are in the same boat or just what helped you out with ladies.[/QUOTE]

Hey man. Think positive and get this book!!
This book will help you get a girl. You can thank me later.

TNT: The Power Within You - Claude M. Bristol

Move to Japan, and since you love games and aren't Asian they will think you have a big cock and you will get laid daily.

[quote name='Chronis']Your name is TheShepherdSauce, you need to put some innuendo into your pick up lines! "Hey baby, have you ever been face to face with the shepherd sauce?"

Anyway, that guy strongpimphand... He keeps his pimp hand strong. It fine advice, but it's definitely too out there for our poor OP. You know what the OP's problem is? Look at his avatar! I love Nocturne, but if you rockin the Atlus, you rockin the Fatlus. OK?! I know you're living next to darkslime's hole! You need to move out of there, lose the Atlus, and stop chasing Yukino!

....wait, who am I talking about again?[/QUOTE]
He can pull it off. I used to be just like him. Then, I latched onto the facebook concept, drug myself to a few clubs, dropped my nuts, and now I don't have any problems.

Except one....if you use this concept of networking based off of females, you gotta remember that females network within themselves much stronger than males. Meaning that they're in people's business more.

So don't except to be able to a girl and then her friend next week without the friend knowing about it or catching wind of it.

I think people's biggest problems is this:

1) They don't try
2) They fall in love with the club ho (SHE'S THERE TO HAVE FUN...DON'T DO IT!!!)
3) They over-pursue. Don't go out wearing shit you can't wear. Don't talk if you can't talk it. Don't walk if you can't walk it. If you wear casual clothes all day long, then go to the bar/club/party just like that and do your thing.

As long as you look clean and shaven (no woman likes a warewolf!) you're all good.

To the OP, go in your closet, iron up a clean pair of pants and a non-offensive shirt, and find one of your attention whore friends. Start there. Insist he (or she) takes you to the spot and ride with them. That way you can't leave and also you're forced to find a new friend. Don't try to get the pussy the first night. Just build your way up and think ahead. This is a game. ing is a sport. You don't go to porno star overnight. You gotta crawl before you walk. You gotta show no love before you can show love.


And sadly, you gotta treat the woman like she don't matter. It's an old concept that just has to be done. Women are powerful. If they know they GOT you, its over. They'll start treating you like a friend and ing with your manhood. You gotta show interest, but act like you're not interested.

EX: You're at the bar. You walk up to the woman and you notice she's watching the game. You're turned on...let's say it's a white sox game

You: "Lord knows you ain't a fan. You're just watching because its a group of men swinging a big stick"

You just opened up a dialog with so many possible endings. You're in control because she's now defending herself. Your objective is to talk long enough to keep her on the defense while getting as much information out of her as possible.

I do that all the time. Her first response can tell you what type of woman she is and if you can handle it or not. Anything from the obvious sexual answer of "i like a man who can handle his big stick" (meaning she's a freak) to the offended answer of "that's so perverse ugh..." (meaning she's uptight) to "i've been watching the chisox since i was a young girl and...." (meaning she's a loyal fan, so you might need to know your shit) to the best answer: "i'm just bored, i don't really watch baseball"

IF YOU GET THIS ONE, THAT'S YOUR BEST CHANCE!!!! TAKE ADVANTAGE!!! It means she wants someone to entertain her. Best way to follow up with "so what are you doing here?" or "so what interests you?" to whatever you feel like changing it to. Just don't try to convince her to enjoy it...she's already bored.

And then you can start to keep her on the defense in other ways, just much lightly. Every answer is a way of her proving she's worthy to you. She's a woman - she can end it at anytime! Finally, you say you'd love to speak to her more sometime later and get that number and send her a text on the weekend (if it's friday, hit her up the next day with a "canceled plan" that fell through. She might be interested....)


I'm telling you OP, you say you're a gamer...play the ing game and get these bitches/women. They're not going to come to you!

If the way you dress is a problem, change the way your dress! It is something that is not hard to do but could make a huge difference.

Being a gamer has nothing to do with not getting laid. It has to do with you. The only way gaming will get in the way of you and women is if you chose gaming over a woman, your playing games or dominating conversations with women about games.



[quote name='Jesus_S_Preston'][/QUOTE]


That was funnier when I used it last week in the correct context in another thread where it was relevant.

Who gives a shit if you can't get laid, there is a white woman on CAG!

My opinion of online dating is that it leads to serial dating -- there's just too much choice. You go out on a date and the person is ok, and the date is good, but guess what, tomorrow is another list of posible dates. Its a cycle of dating, and dating, and dating.

I knew waering this shirt around here would pay off!

[quote name='Gentlegamer']If you have an attractive female friend, use her as your "wing man" and go out some. This will do two things:

1. Get you more comfortable in social situations

2. Being seen with a girl will unconsciously make you appear to have passed the "weirdo" test to other girls (don't worry about them thinking she's your gf, they will find out she isn't)[/QUOTE]

He already stated people think he's gay so this advice could totally backfire lol.

[quote name='Magehart']
Find out the girls personality and weakness then exploit them to your benefit.[/QUOTE]

LOL I couldn't help but feel like this is advice for a boss fight in a game or something.

You know what?Nowadays it's easier to get chicks, back in my time(now im 36 and married) it was ,now not!Use the internets!A couple of years back, I was in trouble in my marriage, and I started using facebook to get chicks, and it works, really works!There are a couple of aplications like , meet new people, or are u interested, begin from there.And just ask for a friendship, ok!Then get there names, start talking on the facebook chat, continue, until you gaine the confidence of the chicks, and get their phones....Frome there on, its a snap, and u could start dating.

As I mentioned , I used it, and it worked...The thing is I stopped, cause really there was no point there, and I resolved my issues on my marriage, and we got divorced in the happiest terms, that I even didnt move, and we are still happily living together(it was money the problem, and we needed a good credit score, and because of credit score, we could not buy a house together, so we divorced, and she bought the house alone).
I met one girl in person, and one even said she started to feel love for me, but hell who cares...HAHAHA....
IMHO...if u can use the internets, just for getting rid of the fear of girls, u can even go out in the real world!!!!

[quote name='gargus']Being a gamer has nothing to do with not getting laid. It has to do with you. The only way gaming will get in the way of you and women is if you chose gaming over a woman, your playing games or dominating conversations with women about games.






That was funnier when I used it last week in the correct context in another thread where it was relevant.[/QUOTE]

Sorry I'll kill myself.

A lot of good advice already mentioned so I'll just chime in on 2 things.

1. To get over the "pretty" comment, grow some facial hair, keep a short haircut, and offset your "pretty" face by lifting/bulking, wearing more masculine clothes (solid color polos, rugbys, subtle vertical striped oxfords, etc.), and getting a tan (seems silly but trust me).

2. As for the attitude, like blondii said just be yourself and act confident, with the latter meaning to be assertive without coming off like a fratboy douchebag. To go back to the movie example, don't ask "Do you want to see a movie," ask "I'm going to see [MOVIE NAME], wanna come along?" If they turn you down don't make a big deal out of it, just shrug it off and move on.

as far as the facial hair thing goes, i stay shaven because my facial hair is pretty weird. I'm 21 i am growing considerably more facial hair than i was 4 years ago but its still not good enough to grow out completely. basically it doesnt grow all the way in as it should so it looks like i have shaved part of my facial hair and let the other parts grow so it just looks bad. i would post a pic up but nahhhh lol. and a small update, ive been talking to a girl at work and its been a nonstop cycle of "does she like me...? no she doesn't" but the more and more we talk the more I began to think she at least thinks im cute or is interested me so i summed up the courage to go out with her on saturday night which is a start. pretty weird since i always thought she was very attractive when she first got hired. thanks guys.

[quote name='blondii8745']Coming from a girl, the best advice I can give you is to be confident and be yourself. Being over the top because you are trying to be perfect is definitely a turn-off. Oh and best pick up line, "Hi". Yeah, its simple but it works! Just put yourself out there and you are bound to run into the right person![/QUOTE]

How YOU doin'?

[quote name='Zenjiro']as far as the facial hair thing goes, i stay shaven because my facial hair is pretty weird. I'm 21 i am growing considerably more facial hair than i was 4 years ago but its still not good enough to grow out completely. basically it doesnt grow all the way in as it should so it looks like i have shaved part of my facial hair and let the other parts grow so it just looks bad. i would post a pic up but nahhhh lol. and a small update, ive been talking to a girl at work and its been a nonstop cycle of "does she like me...? no she doesn't" but the more and more we talk the more I began to think she at least thinks im cute or is interested me so i summed up the courage to go out with her on saturday night which is a start. pretty weird since i always thought she was very attractive when she first got hired. thanks guys.[/QUOTE]

Good luck! Give us an update on the date after you go on it.

[quote name='Zenjiro']as far as the facial hair thing goes, i stay shaven because my facial hair is pretty weird. I'm 21 i am growing considerably more facial hair than i was 4 years ago but its still not good enough to grow out completely. basically it doesnt grow all the way in as it should so it looks like i have shaved part of my facial hair and let the other parts grow so it just looks bad. i would post a pic up but nahhhh lol. and a small update, ive been talking to a girl at work and its been a nonstop cycle of "does she like me...? no she doesn't" but the more and more we talk the more I began to think she at least thinks im cute or is interested me so i summed up the courage to go out with her on saturday night which is a start. pretty weird since i always thought she was very attractive when she first got hired. thanks guys.[/QUOTE]
what the....

PLAYBOY....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Da mane? That's like Rule #22 in the "you just don't do THAT" handbook.

You don't date women at your job. You don't date women at your apartment complex. And you don't date women who are close to your family.

First reason: You WORK with the women at work. You mentioned she was ugly when she first got hired. Well, you constantly work around an ugly woman and she starts to soften up on you! I've had that happen plenty of times. Horse faces become smooth because I got friendly with 'em.

Not only is it against company policy to have a relationship most of the time, but, it's dangerous if the shit don't work out. Try your hardest to turn this situation into a positive by asking her to bring along a few friends because your friends want to see that movie too. Smartest way to get out of a potential bad situation! Strength in numbers.

You don't want to work around a woman that might feel jilted, or a woman that might start to blur the lines between work and play.

Second reason: By messing with a woman in your apartment complex (or dorm if you got 'em) you're shitting too close to where you eat, literally. That's a huge no-no. Same reason as work.

You ever try to avoid a woman? If she lives nearby you, she can scope out when you're lying. Women are typically vindictive...and nosey. They ain't like a man, who will take shit at face value. You tell me you're out, I believe you unless its obvious you're lying. You tell a woman, and she wants to mentally and physically track you down. Once again, bad if your friendship/relationship turns sour

Third reason: You don't mess with someone who is close to your family because when yall go sour, your family won't care. They'll still want to see her!


So basically, what I'm telling you is unless you're planning on networking off this woman, you're making a mistake. Congrats on working up the courage of asking her out and such...but you don't shit where you eat. That shit rarely works and feelings typically get hurt.

haha!
theres some ing gold here!

[quote name='kburns10']Good luck! Give us an update on the date after you go on it.[/QUOTE]

Yea we need more details so we can figure out how to help!

[quote name='gargus']Being a gamer has nothing to do with not getting laid. It has to do with you. The only way gaming will get in the way of you and women is if you chose gaming over a woman, your playing games or dominating conversations with women about games.[/QUOTE]

Hey now. I've had a string of ex gf's(most of which I met online cuz I'm the introverted/shy type and I HATE bars and will never go into a club) and I've determined that I'd rather game than deal with the hassle of trying to understand a woman and all of her stupid shit.

Of course when I was with a few of them I did tend to 'change things up'(aka play games w/ em and not of the video variation)when I got bored of listening to the same bullshit(aka I love you for who you are but your friends, the way you dress, the car you drive blah blah blah gotta change).

i am the introverted type as well but people are always suprised to see how i act when im around good friends or when im drunk haha