Poopocalypse Now! Join me in real time for a colonoscopy prep

johnnypark

johnnypark

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So I'm having a colonoscopy tomorrow. Gross, right? I certainly have a fair degree of apprehension and anxiety about it, so I decided to make a thread about it. What better place than CAG, where the serious and interesting discussions are mixed with a healthy dose of appreciation for toilet humor :D For those of you who've had to endure this unpleasantness, feel free to offer words of encouragement. For those of you who may one day need one, perhaps this can help you know what to expect.

Long story short, I've had some crucial stomach & digestive problems. I'll spare you the details, but suffice to say my doctor has suggested a colonoscopy be the best route to make sure there isn't anything seriously wrong.

Thanks to CAG, I got Dragon Quest 9 for only $20 after a price match at Best Buy for TRU, to keep me entertained tonight while I basically live on the toilet.

I've been fasting since I woke up at 6 am. You can only drink clear liquids, which was mainly water and coffee. I was worried I'd be low on energy without eating anything all day, and the caffeine proved quite helpful. I'm surprised at how easily I dealt with the fasting.

So here it is, the moment of truth. I'm about to go drink the 1st 8 ounces of the 4 liters that will turn my bowels to clear, watery nothingness. It's not that unpleasant going down, tastes like fruity salt-water. Coming out will be another story.

Some pictures preparing for my potty odyssey:

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The pharmacist provides different flavor packets for you to choose and make the experience slightly less bad. I went with cherry.

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The room I'll be spending a lot of time in tonight.

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This should make the evening slightly more enjoyable once the nausea wears off.

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The things I read online warned against normal toilet paper. The # of times the prep makes you go will apparently ruin you from friction. I went with baby wipes, extra sensitive, with aloe.

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My cat inspects my laptop as I prepare the bathroom for occupation. He has no idea what's about to happen. Don't worry, I'm kicking him out once the magic starts.
 
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I've had a colonoscopy. The worst part by far is the prep. Just remember to keep going until all your "liquids" are clear or the color of the prep solution you're drinking. The actual procedure itself you'll be out of it or asleep anyway. You'll wake up and feel no different, except from the sedatives of course. Make sure you take a shower tomorrow morning for the doctor's sake. Haha. Good luck with the results! Don't be too nervous. It's all smooth sailing once you get past the prep.
 
Thanks for the advice!

My dad had one and said basically the same thing. Now that I'm in the middle of it I'm less worried because I don't really have a choice, it's too late to turn back now. I recalled seeing the thread about someone getting their prostate exam and sharing their experiences, so I thought I'd follow suit with this even more invasive procedure, haha.
 
The prep sucks. Atleast you're not prepping on Super Bowl Sunday. I did that twice - don't ask why I scheduled those days - and that is by far the worst day to fast. Seriously, every commercial contained food.

As for post-exam you'll feel gassy, and don't try to gorge yourself with food right after.
 
So, the procedure isn't until 2pm tomorrow, which means I only have to do half the prep tonight. I drink the other 2 liters starting at 6 am.

I'm a little nauseous now, but nothing too unpleasant. The liquid shits have started, and let me tell you, no dump you've ever taken has been as foul as when you cleanse out your digestive tract. I think I'm almost done with the 2 liters for this evening, no idea how long I'll have to be stationed in the bathroom after that.

And Strell, that's a wonderful idea!
 
I haven't had a colonoscopy (yet), but when I was younger I went through several unpleasant gastric tests.

The worst of them started in a similar way to what I imagine yours will be -- laying down on a table, on my side, with my bare ass out. Then...the insertion. I was fully conscious for it -- they shoved the damn thing straight up my corn chute, not far, just enough so they could start pumping a thick liquid into my intestines. There was a camera involved somewhere, because I had the 'pleasure' of watching the liquid flow through my insidey parts. I never knew what it was like to have to shit immediately until that stuff started pumping in.

Best of luck on your procedure, hopefully the results turn out well.
 
I've been having colonoscopies since I was 12. After you get back from the procedure, don't go crazy with the eating. Take it slow. I pretty much throw up my first meal every time. I think it's a reaction to the medication they give me to knock me out and my stomach not having anything for ~36 hours.
 
[quote name='ChibiJosh']I've been having colonoscopies since I was 12. After you get back from the procedure, don't go crazy with the eating. Take it slow. I pretty much throw up my first meal every time. I think it's a reaction to the medication they give me to knock me out and my stomach not having anything for ~36 hours.[/QUOTE]

Since you were 12? Damn, that's rough. I'm only 25 and was a little concerned that they were ordering one at my age.

I was planning on having some pretty bland food, maybe beans and rice, so hopefully it won't make me sick. Thanks for the heads up, though! One good thing about the mixture, since it's mostly water it curbs your hunger a little, and then once you start clearing out you totally lose your appetite =)
 
Yeah. I'm 25 now. I've been having them every year for the past 5 years or so, and every other year before that. So, I've gone through it roughly 10 times.
 
This is boring. I'd rather hear stories about barium enemas. Those are always good for a laugh.

You: "Sorry nurse, I made a mess in there."
Nurse: "That's okay, it's normal."
You: "No, really, I made a serious mess in there."
Nurse: "It can't be that ba-OH MY GOD!"
 
[quote name='ChibiJosh']Yeah. I'm 25 now. I've been having them every year for the past 5 years or so, and every other year before that. So, I've gone through it roughly 10 times.[/QUOTE]

Damn, so by now while they're doing it you can just eat nachos and watch TV? :p

I haven't had a colonoscopy (or colonialist, according to spell check), but I had a nice doctor shove his fingers up in there when I was like 13. I wasn't eating enough fiber or something. Hopefully I can stave off the colonoscopy until I'm old.
 
What Chibijosh is trying to say is that if we - CAG - were all suddenly marooned on an island, and had to pass a series of obstacles in order to escape to freedom, and we ran across a sadistic doctor grinning maliciously and said that the only way past him was a colonoscopy, Chibi'd be the man for the job, and he's telling us this now so we'll be used to the information when that horrid day comes, instead of being weirded out if he had to jump up and down waving his arms frantically screaming out ME ME ME, PICK ME ME ME I'LL DO IT, but see now that we've heard all of this, we're all cool with it.

Me? I'll take the Amazonian Snoo Snoo room, thank you. Or I'll scale the Wall of Vaginas. Whichever comes first (but not last).
 
[quote name='Strell']What Chibijosh is trying to say is that if we - CAG - were all suddenly marooned on an island, and had to pass a series of obstacles in order to escape to freedom, and we ran across a sadistic doctor grinning maliciously and said that the only way past him was a colonoscopy, Chibi'd be the man for the job, and he's telling us this now so we'll be used to the information when that horrid day comes, instead of being weirded out if he had to jump up and down waving his arms frantically screaming out ME ME ME, PICK ME ME ME I'LL DO IT, but see now that we've heard all of this, we're all cool with it.

Me? I'll take the Amazonian Snoo Snoo room, thank you. Or I'll scale the Wall of Vaginas. Whichever comes first (but not last).[/QUOTE]
Thanks for articulating my feelings so well. I had my doubts that anyone would be able to understand.
 
There was a topic about this a while back. Reality's Fringe has me quoted in his sig about my story. I had one of these a couple years ago. The prep is the worst part as said. I had the same prep you did. My biggest advice would be to put the solution in the freezer or fridge for as long as possible before taking it. I didn't have it in there long enough when I started taking it the night before and it tasted awful. When I woke up the next morning, having it been in the fridge the whole night before, it tasted MUCH better.

The actual procedure isn't anything. You're out for it so you won't remember it. All they found in mine was some minor acid burns, thankfully. I didn't have any eating problems afterward like ChibiJosh. Chipotle tacos went down just fine.
 
Things have slowed down, but it can still sneak up on you even a couple hours later. My ass hurts from sitting on the toilet for so long. But, I'm really enjoying Dragon Quest 9!

[quote name='Strell']

Me? I'll take the Amazonian Snoo Snoo room, thank you. Or I'll scale the Wall of Vaginas. Whichever comes first (but not last).[/QUOTE]

Always nice when someone will take one for the team.

[quote name='Dead of Knight']There was a topic about this a while back. Reality's Fringe has me quoted in his sig about my story. I had one of these a couple years ago. The prep is the worst part as said. I had the same prep you did. My biggest advice would be to put the solution in the freezer or fridge for as long as possible before taking it. I didn't have it in there long enough when I started taking it the night before and it tasted awful. When I woke up the next morning, having it been in the fridge the whole night before, it tasted MUCH better.

The actual procedure isn't anything. You're out for it so you won't remember it. All they found in mine was some minor acid burns, thankfully. I didn't have any eating problems afterward like ChibiJosh. Chipotle tacos went down just fine.[/QUOTE]

All good things to hear. By the time I downed the 8th & last cup of the evening it was getting downright disgusting.

My dad said he had no trouble eating afterwards, too, so hopefully I won't either.
 
Yes...it's the prep is the worse part.... how much is your co-pay from your insurance for the prep kit? Mine was 50 bucks out of pocket :( 50 dam bucks to make my self shit...damn for 5 bucks I could have gotten enough taco bell to make me do that. And since it's a person my vary on the timing of the release....great to know that I can have a volcanic eruption in between sessions of Soul Calibur 4 matches with friends :(

That shit is just ack terrible ...you would think by now they would come up with something better to cover up that taste?
 
Like I said, I think the vomiting is just a reaction I have to the anesthetic. I've never heard of anyone puking either afterward other than me, but it happens every year. I'm also pretty much completely under the drugs until several hours after they give them to me, and they don't completely wear off until the next morning. My first memory is usually of me laying on the couch hours after my parents brought me home.
 
The episode of King of the Hill where Hank gets a colonoscopy was on tonight during Adult Swim.

This is fuckin' positive sign, jp.
 
Begin round 2. I'm going to drink this round a little faster instead of every 15 minutes. The bottle says every 10, which is way more frequently than the paperwork from the doctor's office. Oh well. I just want to get it over with.

And it does taste better after being refrigerated overnight, it's more like just cold water with a slight taste. Which is good because I'm fucking thirsty.

[quote name='Strell']The episode of King of the Hill where Hank gets a colonoscopy was on tonight during Adult Swim.

This is fuckin' positive sign, jp.[/QUOTE]

Haha, I was thinking about that earlier this week when I was psyching myself up for it. He was awake for it, though, right?
 
You're still drinking the stuff? You were supposed to have finished the jug yesterday (the day before your exam).

Good luck today! I've been through it myself, so I feel your pain (and discomfort).

I was expecting video or at least audio, for when you were running to the toilet every 5 minutes. I'm disappointed.
 
[quote name='johnnypark']He was awake for it, though, right?[/QUOTE]

Yeah. That made it funnier though.

When you get to the doctor's office, you should kick in the front door, badass cowboy style, walk in with a look of confident expectation, and proclaim ALRIGHT, MY COLON IS HERE FOR INSPECTION.

Oh and maybe you could throw everyone candy too. They don't have to be Tootsie Rolls or Baby Ruths - get creative. Maybe partially melted peanut butter cups that have been slightly mashed.
 
"Yee-haw!!! Let's do this thing!!!" All while slapping your ass and pretending you're riding a bucking bronco.

I think that's what I'll do the next time I have one scheduled. At least give the nurses a show.
 
[quote name='shieryda']You're still drinking the stuff? You were supposed to have finished the jug yesterday (the day before your exam).

Good luck today! I've been through it myself, so I feel your pain (and discomfort).

I was expecting video or at least audio, for when you were running to the toilet every 5 minutes. I'm disappointed.[/QUOTE]


dude...that stuff is some potent stuff. After a few trips to the bathroom, your mind just says, "NO MORE!!!" I couldn't even finish the last round because I was so tired.
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']dude...that stuff is some potent stuff. After a few trips to the bathroom, your mind just says, "NO MORE!!!" I couldn't even finish the last round because I was so tired.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I don't think I finished the jug, either. It was just too much liquid. Perhaps I'll challenge myself and go for it next time. I should probably have one scheduled with all the recent talk of men's health topics on this site.:D
 
[quote name='johnnypark']
And it does taste better after being refrigerated overnight, it's more like just cold water with a slight taste. Which is good because I'm fucking thirsty.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I couldn't believe the difference myself. After having it in the fridge overnight, it tasted like something I'd actually want to drink. I could barely keep it down the night before.

Good luck today.
 
Killing time with Dragon Quest until I go in for the appointment. I'm past the point of being hungry now, although I'm pretty desperate for some food. I went to a concert Tuesday night and got back really late, so it occurred to me the last time I ate anything was dinner around 6pm on Tuesday, and it's now 11 am on Thursday. Once that sedative wears off, I'm having a feast!

[quote name='shieryda']You're still drinking the stuff? You were supposed to have finished the jug yesterday (the day before your exam).

Good luck today! I've been through it myself, so I feel your pain (and discomfort).

I was expecting video or at least audio, for when you were running to the toilet every 5 minutes. I'm disappointed.[/QUOTE]

I have an afternoon appointment. My doctor told me I could drink 2 liters the night before, 2 liters the next morning starting at 6 am (Dead of Knight reported doing the same when she had to do it). Makes the whole thing a little less awful. I didn't liqui-shit nearly as much this morning as I did last night, probably because there isn't much left in there.
 
That sucks, dude. Your doctor is a mean sonofabitch. He should have scheduled you for an 8 or 9AM appointment. You should get a recorder for the gas that you'll be blowing after the procedure. You will be amazed at the decibel levels you will produce.

PS - go easy on the food you eat afterwards. It might be a bit of a shock to your system after expelling all that stuff earlier in the week.
 
Alright, showered and dressed. Starting to feel weak from the lack of food and probable dehydration. I missed the mark for when I could have drank any real liquids this morning, so I'm incredibly thirsty and feeling kind of dazed. Here goes nothing!
 
[quote name='johnnypark']
I have an afternoon appointment. My doctor told me I could drink 2 liters the night before, 2 liters the next morning starting at 6 am (Dead of Knight reported doing the same when she had to do it). Makes the whole thing a little less awful. I didn't liqui-shit nearly as much this morning as I did last night, probably because there isn't much left in there.[/QUOTE]

Honestly can't remember what time my appointment was, but I think it was around 11am or something. You can definitely take some of the liquid junk the morning of, though I didn't even end up drinking the whole thing. Of course I'm pretty small size wise so that might have something to do with it.
 
And, I'm back.

I was so tired that I almost fell asleep waiting for them to begin. Once I got into the gown it took them awhile to come get me, and I was so tired from not eating that I felt like I'd already been drugged.

Turned out it was a colonoscopy and upper GI endoscopy. I wasn't aware that the 2nd procedure was done through the mouth until they put the mouth guard around my neck. Freaked me out a little but I figured it was too late to care. I really liked my doctor and realize they do these procedures 40-50 times a day.

And... they found nothing wrong. I almost can't believe it based on what kind of problems I've been having the past few weeks, but apparently everything looked fine. Of course I'm glad to hear that, but it still doesn't answer what was/is wrong with me.

Here's hoping I don't have to go through this again for a very long time =)
 
I have really bad stomach problems in general. I've basically had it all my life whatever it is exactly. At one point my doctor thought I had Crohn's disease. This is the only test I haven't had done. After reading what you have to do... I think I'll never have it done. I get weak not eating for 6-7 hours. I doubt I could go 36 hours or whatever it was you said. Plus when I'm having a bad day anyway with my stomach I'm in the bathroom all day anyway so something to make you like that would really mess me up... I wouldn't want to see myself during that time. Plus If I have lived this long with it anyway it isn't gonna kill me. So I guess I rather not know. I don't have any insurance or money anyway. I haven't even seen a doctor in 4-5 years. I really need to go for several things. Sometimes I wake up shaking in the night and can't control it. I don't know what causes it either. Have heartburn at nothing and I'm on prilosec for that. I am eventually going to go for my sleeping issues and see what it is. From what I've read it sounds like sleep apnea.
 
[quote name='crunchb3rry']This is boring. I'd rather hear stories about barium enemas. Those are always good for a laugh.

You: "Sorry nurse, I made a mess in there."
Nurse: "That's okay, it's normal."
You: "No, really, I made a serious mess in there."
Nurse: "It can't be that ba-OH MY GOD!"[/QUOTE]

Ha! Yeah, I remember when I had mine. I totally destroyed the bathroom and basically told the doctors and nurses to go eff themselves. They had nursing/med students in and out of there during my procedure and I was telling them them to get the hell out and quit invading my privacy.:bomb:
 
[quote name='shieryda']Can this test detect colitis or Crohn's? Maybe you just have IBS.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it can as far as I know. It's how I was diagnosed with colitis.
 
[quote name='jman619']I have really bad stomach problems in general. I've basically had it all my life whatever it is exactly. At one point my doctor thought I had Crohn's disease. This is the only test I haven't had done. After reading what you have to do... I think I'll never have it done. I get weak not eating for 6-7 hours. I doubt I could go 36 hours or whatever it was you said. Plus when I'm having a bad day anyway with my stomach I'm in the bathroom all day anyway so something to make you like that would really mess me up... I wouldn't want to see myself during that time. Plus If I have lived this long with it anyway it isn't gonna kill me. So I guess I rather not know. I don't have any insurance or money anyway. I haven't even seen a doctor in 4-5 years. I really need to go for several things. Sometimes I wake up shaking in the night and can't control it. I don't know what causes it either. Have heartburn at nothing and I'm on prilosec for that. I am eventually going to go for my sleeping issues and see what it is. From what I've read it sounds like sleep apnea.[/QUOTE]

Honestly, it wasn't as terrible as I was expecting. On Wednesday when I was fasting I drank a lot of water and coffee. Water is dense so it helps curb your hunger, and the caffeine gives you energy enough to get through the day. You just can't overdo the physical exertion. Once the shits start you kinda lose your appetite anyway and your body gets used to the lack of food. I ate a bagel as soon as I got out of the office, and have been eating all evening since with no problems. My biggest complaint was that I had to miss 1.5 days of work, we're really busy right now and I can't really afford to get behind.

[quote name='SpazX']Damn, oral and anal then? Now you know what it's like after a day of filming porn.[/QUOTE]

Haha. Except for someone doing porn, they'd probably remember it, get paid, and maybe even enjoy themselves. I was charged $35, remember nothing, and can't say any of it was exactly enjoyable.
 
[quote name='johnnypark']Haha. Except for someone doing porn, they'd probably remember it, get paid, and maybe even enjoy themselves. I was charged $35, remember nothing, and can't say any of it was exactly enjoyable.[/QUOTE]

So like a drunken frat party of some sort?
 
[quote name='SpazX']So like a drunken frat party of some sort?[/QUOTE]

Exactly. The soreness in my throat is the only proof anything even happened;)

[quote name='Strell']We're all friends here, jp. You can tell us you liked it. It's cool.[/QUOTE]

No more than Hank Hill did.
 
[quote name='johnnypark']And, I'm back.

I was so tired that I almost fell asleep waiting for them to begin. Once I got into the gown it took them awhile to come get me, and I was so tired from not eating that I felt like I'd already been drugged.

Turned out it was a colonoscopy and upper GI endoscopy. I wasn't aware that the 2nd procedure was done through the mouth until they put the mouth guard around my neck. Freaked me out a little but I figured it was too late to care. I really liked my doctor and realize they do these procedures 40-50 times a day.

And... they found nothing wrong. I almost can't believe it based on what kind of problems I've been having the past few weeks, but apparently everything looked fine. Of course I'm glad to hear that, but it still doesn't answer what was/is wrong with me.

Here's hoping I don't have to go through this again for a very long time =)[/QUOTE]

I've had that before. I guess it's the norm to have both done on the same day. Really not fun at all :( I would hate going to work and taking that stuff to drink because it would be so embarrassing to have uncontrollable bowel movements.
 
its not too bad, ive had about 9 of them and about 12 endoscopes. the worst part to be honest is the fear, even the prep isnt as bad as knowing a camera is going up there. the prep isnt to bad as long you follow the directions, had one time the dr said one way and the paper said another so i went with the paper had to redo the prep so instead of 2 days without eating i was 4. that meal after its over tastes so damn good too
 
[quote name='ITDEFX'] I would hate going to work and taking that stuff to drink because it would be so embarrassing to have uncontrollable bowel movements.[/QUOTE]

Dude, that's what personal days are for.:D You literally cannot do anything productive while you're drinking that junk. You would miss most of a movie if you were trying to watch one, and forget about driving anywhere (errands, etc.). My old roommate couldn't go anywhere while I prepped for my last colonoscopy. He didn't want to miss out on all the excitement of me yelling, holding my ass cheeks together to prevent any leakage and running to the toilet the night before my exam.

Can you imagine having to go into a meeting while drinking that big jug of stuff? Or getting stopped in the hall to look over some documents while you were sprinting to the men's room?
 
[quote name='shieryda']Dude, that's what personal days are for.:D

Can you imagine having to go into a meeting while drinking that big jug of stuff? Or getting stopped in the hall to look over some documents while you were sprinting to the men's room?[/QUOTE]

LOL....

or being in the classroom and have that happen...
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']LOL....

or being in the classroom and have that happen...[/QUOTE]

Indeed. It's amazing how something you eat or drink can make your excretory system work so quickly and so violently.
 
Throat is still sore this morning (Saturday). Yesterday the biggest problem was fatigue. I got a lot of sleep Thursday night, but after fasting for almost 48 hours my body was exhausted, it was hard to focus at work and I didn't get much done. It seemed no matter how much I ate I was still really hungry. So, if you have a regular M-F job, my recommendation is get the procedure on a Friday so you can rest up afterward the next day.

[quote name='ITDEFX']I've had that before. I guess it's the norm to have both done on the same day. Really not fun at all :( I would hate going to work and taking that stuff to drink because it would be so embarrassing to have uncontrollable bowel movements.[/QUOTE]

Definitely the norm if you need both. The upper GI endoscopy only takes maybe 7 minutes according to the doctor, and you're already out cold, so it would be kinda dumb not to get it over with while you're already passed out.

And yeah, I missed 2.5 days of work this week, 1st to go see the doctor and schedule the procedure, and then the entire prep leading up to it. Definitely couldn't have drank that stuff at work, you'd basically need a private bathroom, and you sure as hell wouldn't get any actual work done.

Unless that work involves playing DS games, since I definitely got pretty far in DQ9 while I was shitting my brains out.

[quote name='shieryda']Indeed. It's amazing how something you eat or drink can make your excretory system work so quickly and so violently.[/QUOTE]

I was thinking about that, and the fact that they have a camera that can go all the way inside you, and that I experienced no discomfort or anything like that, no soreness - I'd have never known it happened if they didn't tell me - makes me kind of amazed with modern technology, way more than any iPhone ;)
 
[quote name='johnnypark']Unless that work involves playing DS games, since I definitely got pretty far in DQ9 while I was shitting my brains out. [/QUOTE]

:applause:

You're a man after my own heart. Were I in a similar situation, the DS would likewise be my bathroom companion.
 
[quote name='utopianmachine']:applause:

You're a man after my own heart. Were I in a similar situation, the DS would likewise be my bathroom companion.[/QUOTE]

I turned the bathroom into a regular study. I had my laptop on the counter to have some connectivity to the outside, shitless world, but mostly Dragon Quest kept my time.

In the process I managed to make a party member that looks just like my girlfriend, it made her day =)
 
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