How to deal with cheap friend?

I know that being here it's probably a given that we're all cheap on at least games, but I've got this one friend who is a royal pain whenever he has to spend money to do anything. Go to the movies, he bitches about the price of popcorn, go to a restaurant, bitches about the prices of food, he'll basically bitch about he price of anything. It's so bad that it ruins any fun when he's around because all we hear from him is the bitching about the price of whatever we're doing. The thing is, for all his bitching, he'll do it anyway. We all have to listen to him whine like a child, then he gives in anyway.

The guy has things he'll spend money on, but not to have fun with friends. It's gotten to the point that we don't even invite him to do things much because we're tired of hearing him complain.

Anyone else know someone like this?

we have a couple of friends in our group who are constantly cheap and/or poor. for a long time we would bend plans around "well i can go to a movie, but i cant go to a bar after" type of situations. but the last few months we just said it, and started doing things and simply excluding them. its kinda harsh, but whatever, and actually its working a little in our favor. theyre now a little less thrifty with their money and go out more often.

edit: sometimes its not a big deal because its simply a matter of not having the money, and we dont give them a hard time. but other times its annoying because going out for a drink doesnt have to mean spending $60 at a bar or going out to eat doesnt mean you have to order a strip steak. you can be cheap and still participate.

and i know what you mean about the spending money on other things... one night its "oh i cant go out, its too much" and the next night its "oh i cant go out, i just got grand theft auto".

but i say just go with the exclusion thing. give a try for a weekend or two see what happens.

One of my close friends that I used to hang out all the time and we'd go out to eat, movies, bars and basically it fell into an unspoken pattern of I pay this time, he pay next time type of situation. Then one day while we were doing something he asked me if I had the money I owed him; I was puzzled and like wtf are you talking about? He proceeded to tell me I owed him like $300 bucks. At this point I laughed and was like ok whatever you say guy then you owe me $300 bucks too. I never paid him but after that I never paid for anything for him again and made sure he never paid for anything for me as he apparently didn't grasp the whole situation that most of my group of friends were cool with. It was actually funny because after that another buddy said he did the same thing to him and then whenever we'd go out most of us would get one check and always make his separate lol.

Sometimes being a friend means having to speak up and stop beating around the bush. If it turns out that these people are unwilling to figure it out, $300 is the price of that friendship, and you're lucky to get away with spending so little.

Hope your situation works out.

[quote name='blissskr']One of my close friends that I used to hang out all the time and we'd go out to eat, movies, bars and basically it fell into an unspoken pattern of I pay this time, he pay next time type of situation. Then one day while we were doing something he asked me if I had the money I owed him; I was puzzled and like wtf are you talking about? He proceeded to tell me I owed him like $300 bucks. At this point I laughed and was like ok whatever you say guy then you owe me $300 bucks too. I never paid him but after that I never paid for anything for him again and made sure he never paid for anything for me as he apparently didn't grasp the whole situation that most of my group of friends were cool with. It was actually funny because after that another buddy said he did the same thing to him and then whenever we'd go out most of us would get one check and always make his separate lol.[/QUOTE]

Wow. Did your friend lack common sense? A good friend and I in college would always alternate for movies/meals and occasionally, if for whatever reason one of us was low on cash, the other would cover for some extended time with no hesitation.

My old roommate, on the other hand, would expect people to do things for him and would rarely do things for other people. My aforementioned friend and I would eventually just go to dinner without inviting my roommate.

He would also constantly take my stuff without asking. When I'd confront him, he'd always readily cop to it and then would subsequently say "it's no big deal." This drove me nuts. Additionally, he was delinquent not once, but twice by more than four months for rent. I could understand if he had a legitimate reason/money issues, but his parents were pretty wealthy. His excuse would always be "oh my dad doesn't want to take money out of the stock market right now."

My best friend is a cheap skate. He makes good money and has no excessive bills, but the guy won't spend more than $15 at any restaurant, is extremely stingy with buying games, and I always feel like I have to be the salesman when I want him to spend some money.

Worst part is he's a really shitty tipper, but when I want to split the check in two so it doesn't look like my tip is somewhat poor, he gets upset.

Lucky you, all my friends are poor, I usually just end up paying for everything(movies, drinks, meals) most of the time.

To be fair, the friends I'm referring to all have kids and live on their own while I am single and moved back in with my parents recently.

To help you out, if this person is really your friend, you have to step up and tell him point blank that him whining about the cost of everything is really draining on your friendship. Also, don't buy freakin popcorn at the movies and maybe invest in a flask, that crap is overpriced!

I can't see bitching about the price of things when going out; especially when it's much easier to refuse going out that often. Reasonably cheap people can find cheap friends.

Sounds like your friend maybe has financial problems or calling for help.

[quote name='Clak']Go to the movies, he bitches about the price of popcorn, go to a restaurant, bitches about the prices of food, he'll basically bitch about he price of anything.[/QUOTE]

Who actually goes to a movie and pays their crazy prices for popcorn?

[quote name='blissskr']One of my close friends that I used to hang out all the time and we'd go out to eat, movies, bars and basically it fell into an unspoken pattern of I pay this time, he pay next time type of situation. Then one day while we were doing something he asked me if I had the money I owed him; I was puzzled and like wtf are you talking about? He proceeded to tell me I owed him like $300 bucks. At this point I laughed and was like ok whatever you say guy then you owe me $300 bucks too. I never paid him but after that I never paid for anything for him again and made sure he never paid for anything for me as he apparently didn't grasp the whole situation that most of my group of friends were cool with. It was actually funny because after that another buddy said he did the same thing to him and then whenever we'd go out most of us would get one check and always make his separate lol.[/QUOTE]


Obviously he had been expecting you to put out.

Just say "look your my friend but enough is enough. You bring down the fun with all your complaining to the point where its no fun to go do stuff with you. I like you but you need to cut that shit out".

Some people love to bitch about things though and wont stop.

I've been pretty lucky when it comes to this issue. I don't have many cheap friends but I can see how this would ruin the night.

Like someone else said I'd just be honest. Straight up tell him you're going to stop inviting him out since he bitches too much. See if he changes his tone. It's one thing to be cheap, and another to be a negative prick. I agree that popcorn is ing expensive but no one's forcing me to buy it. I couldn't stand to be around that kind of attitude either.

But I can relate in a similar fashion. I have one friend who bitches a lot about anything and everything. He'll make a negative comment about everything you say. Some days are worse than others and it really annoys me. So I just ignore him.

One day when and where it's appropriate, ask him the following question, "Is money tight or short, or are you in debt and need to not spend money on entertainment?" If your friend needs to pay off loans or credit cards or whatever and not spend money doing fun stuff, then let him know that you'll continue to invite him out because you're his friend, but it's totally okay for him to stay home.

If the guy doesn't have money problems, then you need to explain that his observations may be valid, but his attitude and whining have gotten to a point where he is seriously annoying his friends.

On a slightly related note, I'll be dealing with broke ass friends Friday as none of the other groomsmen in an upcoming wedding stepped up to plan the bachelor party so it's on me and only one other guy of the four of us will be able to drop as much cash as the night calls for. It's a total pain in the ass because not only did I have to straight up eliminate numerous ideas, but already looking like the first taxi and dinner is falling on me and the other guy to split two ways rather than four since the other two will probably just meet us afterwords for the bar hopping and other stuff.

I know what it's like to be broke.. I always hated when I'd go out with a group of people that alternated picking up rounds and I was rubbing pennies together for food that week anyway. But anything not routine (sporting events, bachelor parties, or just whenever people DO go out if it's a rare thing), you really need to be prepared to drop cash or you're just dragging everyone down. It's on you to say something because if that friend doesn't understand why you've been ditching him/her, then it will only lead to resentment.. which is probably worst case scenario of saying something anyway, but at least it's out in the open.

I don't think I have any close friends like that, though I have known people of that nature in the past. I'd simply tell them the truth; either they quit their excessive bitching, or your friends aren't going to invite the person out anymore.

I really don't see a big problem with someone not wanting to spend a ton of money on entertainment, especially popcorn at movies or $20-30 meals at restaurants. It's a BIG waste of money. I can spend $20 on a video game and get 40+ hours of gaming out of it. I know I rarely spend a lot of money on entertainment. My friends and I just get movies via netflix and drink beer or something at our apartment.

However, I could see how someone bitching about money all the time is annoying. The fact he is cheap is not the problem. He has the right to be cheap and thats his business. But if he's bitching about it to the point that it ruins fun for others, then we have a problem.

I went out with a girl who insisted on splitting the check but didn't make alot of money. That got old fast.

[quote name='camoor']I went out with a girl who insisted on splitting the check but didn't make alot of money. That got old fast.[/QUOTE]
youre probably ugly and she didn't want to put out.


j/k.

but not kinda

Our group has one real cheapass. This asswhipe had the nerve to make a to go box from food at a party! One of our other friends ripped him a new one as the party was far from over and cheapass hadn't even brought a dish to share. We don't invite him much these days.

Well I could see bitching about an $8 popcorn at the movie theater because that right there is a ripoff (and not every time but like once), but nobody is forcing him to buy it.

Now unless the guy has serious money issues where he can't afford a $15 dinner, he should not be complaining about paying for dinner. I mean seriously if he cares about money more than his friends he needs to re examine at his life.

Might I suggest ... a stomp in the nuts?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaqmY2Dhgc8

[quote name='guinaevere']One day when and where it's appropriate, ask him the following question, "Is money tight or short, or are you in debt and need to not spend money on entertainment?" If your friend needs to pay off loans or credit cards or whatever and not spend money doing fun stuff, then let him know that you'll continue to invite him out because you're his friend, but it's totally okay for him to stay home.

If the guy doesn't have money problems, then you need to explain that his observations may be valid, but his attitude and whining have gotten to a point where he is seriously annoying his friends.[/QUOTE]
I wish it was that he was in debt, but it isn't, he probably has more money in the bank than I do. His priorities are just different I guess.

I have been treating out my best friend since high school, we met freshman year and now we're both in college. Every time I had asked her to come out with me and some friends, she would say she was broke so I treated her out a few times. Everything went downhill since. She began to depend on me for money (to borrow and buy shit when we hung out) and when I said no she would ask WHY NOT WHY NOT. I do recall one conversation that went like this:

Me: hey do you want to go out and eat with me and blah blah
Her: yea
Me: Uhhh, you have money right?
Her: no
Me: well how are you going to pay for it then
Her: youre paying for me duh

I treated her out almost every time for 5 years and every time she told me that when she had money she would treat me out, that never happened. During the summer she had a lot of money and called me up to hang out, but I kept telling her I was too broke, she never offered to take me out or anything when I've been putting up her with her broke ass for 5 ing years.

[quote name='rusty']I really don't see a big problem with someone not wanting to spend a ton of money on entertainment, especially popcorn at movies or $20-30 meals at restaurants. It's a BIG waste of money. I can spend $20 on a video game and get 40+ hours of gaming out of it. I know I rarely spend a lot of money on entertainment. My friends and I just get movies via netflix and drink beer or something at our apartment.

However, I could see how someone bitching about money all the time is annoying. The fact he is cheap is not the problem. He has the right to be cheap and thats his business. But if he's bitching about it to the point that it ruins fun for others, then we have a problem.[/QUOTE]

That's it in a nutshell I think. It's fine being cheap and wanting to save money, but don't be a Debbie Downer and go out and bitch about spending money all night and annoy your friends. Just stay home and fine other cheap friends to hang out with.

Thankfully I don't really have any cheap skate friends. I enjoy going out, eating good food, drinking good beer etc. so my circle of friends is large made up of similar minded folk.

Just as an example, if we went to see a movie, then eat somewhere, he might spend a total of $30, to me that isn't that bad. That's a movie with popcorn and drink, and a good meal later.

[quote name='Clak']Just as an example, if we went to see a movie, then eat somewhere, he might spend a total of $30, to me that isn't that bad. That's a movie with popcorn and drink, and a good meal later.[/QUOTE]

Agreed.


Though I do have no problem with someone not wanting to spend that on dinner and a movie.

But if that's the case they should just stay home, or pay it without bitching as it's not a mystery what eating out and going to a movie costs. Again, don't be a debbie downer and go along and bitch about it all night like your friend apparently does.

But yeah, just quit inviting them to shit like that and only invite them to get togethers at home etc. if they're that bad.