I'll admit I quit reading the Spider-Man comics shortly after Venom was introduced (mid to late 80's I think) because they'd just become sooooo stupid and soooo shitty (Spider-Lizard was a very low point). My memory probably isn't nearly as reliable as yours if you've read the comics anytime recently, but I do remember the relationships still took a backseat to the action in most arcs. Maybe that's not the case in the modern comics, but if the movies wanna appeal to old guys like me they should focus more on the legacy stuff anyways lol.
I didn't think the 1st ASM was necessarily bad either, though the 2nd one undoubtedly was.
I think I quit comics in the early 90s so I'm about as knowledgeable as you when it comes to modern-day comics. The comics did go as far as PP marrying MJ but that took place after I already quit collecting.
Fighting villains while dealing with with personal problems, even girl problems, was always in the comics as Stan Lee himself said when he created the character and worked on the storyline. I think he was a consultant in the movies too so I think he wanted these things in the movies. Anyway, you know Hollywood. The hero saving the girl plays big on the big screen at least in the days of those first Spidey movies. Nowadays, the girl will be more than happy to save themselves and that was what they did in the Gwen Stacy storyline in the new movies. That was different than the original comic but the final ending remained the same.