Confessions you would like to get off of your chest...

...Before the end of the world tomorrow. Something you've never told anyone.

I'll start it off...When I was a kid, and my parents used to give me money to put into my church envelope for collection, I would take the money and go to 7-11 and play arcade games with it...after going to mass, that is. The church has since been closed.

i liked the movie Enchanted.

We bought Barbie Horse Adventures for our lil one on the PS2 and ended up having some friends over. After we got tossed a bit, we played the hell outta it and had a blast and laughed our asses off. Needless to say we kept the game, and still play.. Just remember those skunks will mess you up, man!

Too late, it's already May 21 for a whole bunch of time zones.

[quote name='Number83']...Before the end of the world tomorrow. Something you've never told anyone.[/QUOTE]

Do you listen to Preston and Steve on 93.3 in the morning Number 83 ?

[quote name='benjamouth']Do you listen to Preston and Steve on 93.3 in the morning Number 83 ?[/QUOTE]

:lol:

That is exactly where I came up with the idea for this thread...although it seems like they were more successful with it than I was.

Only got to listen to the first 10 mins of the segment though.

I refuse to jump start peoples cars... when I'm out I'm always in a hurry.

To be fair, I set up the audio in my last car that I had for 9 years and the terminal would shoot sparks if you tried to connect jumper cables to it so it really wasn't possible. Anymore I'm just a douchebag about it...

I confess that I have listened to the mad prophet on the radio many times before. He used to just read from the Bible...long passages....and I never realized he was a doomsayer. I enjoy learning and hearing the stories and such, but I never knew the guy was loopy. I read he predicted the same thing in 1994, but after the fact he realized he made some miscalculations. Indeed.

Good job, Number83, you made a church close due to your arcade game addiction.

[quote name='Number83']:lol:

That is exactly where I came up with the idea for this thread...although it seems like they were more successful with it than I was.

Only got to listen to the first 10 mins of the segment though.[/QUOTE]

Nice, yeah it was a good segment, I think I listened to the same bit you did.

I've banged a bunch of girls. Most would be considered "attractive" by society's current standards... but a few weren't even in the bottom of the barrel. More like crushed beneath the barrel. Real mutts.

Oh... and this one is probably the worst. When attending a typical college party, I would always make it a point to piss on every toothbrush I could get my hands on. Don't ask me why... as I haven't a clue.

[quote name='shrike4242']Good job, Number83, you made a church close due to your arcade game addiction. [/QUOTE]



In my defense, they always had the best cabinets. Like Mat Mania, Ye Air Kung Fu and Tempest. How could you say no to those?

cunfoosious and shrike are my best friends

I like the Midget from Games of Thrones.

I let the dogs out...Blame me.

Also, I shot the sheriff.

[quote name='RAMSTORIA']i liked the movie Enchanted.[/QUOTE]

Me too!

I did not like Mario Bros.(NES)

I once kinda ran over a dog.

Edit:
Oops. Typo. Should actually replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "child."

There was this one time when my friend and I (who was three years older than me, I was about 10 at the time) were visiting the St. Louis area with his family. We went into this restaurant at a fairly downtime, yet the old hag that they had roll out and service us was horrible. She questioned our orders as if we were new to English, gave us shitty service, and there was hair in our food.

Afterward, my friend's mother went to the manager of the place and complained, which resulted in us getting the meal for free.

But that was not enough. Justice had to be done.

My friend and I said we needed to go use the restroom before we left. Operation Make the Hag Pay went into action. We began by clogging the sinks with toilet paper and making them overflow, but that was amateur shit. Our next move was to go into the stalls and lase the toilets and stall floors with our Bear Grylls juice.

But still, that was not enough.

Fortunately, my colon came out of the reserve to assist in the operation. I told my friend I had to poop, and I went into the stall on my own. I pulled down my pants and placed my right cheek on the toilet seat while my left hung free in the air like an intrepid mountain goat. The fear of shitting on yourself or falling into your own shit is what I imagine getting a blow job on the edge of a cliff would be. Sure it's dangerous, but anything is worth the payoff.

In retrospect, I've realized something my ten year old could have never guessed; a turd falling approximately 18 inches onto tile floor sounds like skins slapping when you are doing a chick doggy style with a period of around 2 cycles per second. Any shorter and you don't get the sound. Any faster and the duration of the slap is simply too quick to emulate the prolonged dispersal of force that a semi-solid piece of fecal matter will undergo in this scenario.

I pulled up my pants and let my friend into the stall (the residual poop in my ass would be a badge of honor) and we proceeded to gathering toilet paper biohazard mitts for ourselves and went halvsies on my log. Then we made Bob Ross proud. We decorated the walls of the stall, both metal and tile with poop smears reminiscent of cave drawings of the millenia of yore.

Satisfied with our art and destruction, we left the bathroom and rejoined his mother, grandmother and sister in their van. As we put on our seatbelts, his sister (who was one year my junior) leaned over to us and shared a secret smile with us "I overflowed the sinks and got soap everywhere."

My friend and I then shared a knowing glance and chuckled to each other as we pulled away and concluded our mission.

I like the movie The Notebook.

I lie to family on a regular basis about being on-call so I don't have to attend any family events.

I slept with my buddy's fiance while they were engaged.

I slammed open my door really hard on purpose to bust my younger brother in the mouth that was at the base of the door being annoying. It was funny and I didn't feel bad about it.

^^^ cave drawings? That description cracked me up.

I enjoy driving next to people on the expressway and matching their speed to either force them to miss and exit or take the wrong exit when they are driving like a jackass.

I was raised catholic and was a legit goody2shoes. When I went on retreat for confirmation (this happens 9th/10th grade), you're supposed to like really come clean to the priest. This is like super extra special mega confession time. Well I really had nothing to confess, I swear I was going for sainthood when I was young, and I felt dumb and like the priest was going to believe I had no sins to confess right? So, I lied my ass off. I made up ridiculous story after ridiculous story about how I stole money from my parents to buy drugs and broke shop windows for fun and pissed on hobos with my friends. First time I had ever done anything wrong like that in my life. Irony I believe.

Unfortunately the confession box was in the back of the church and the walls were paper thin. There was a girl I had a crush on who was next in the confession line, and there was no way she didn't hear all the shit I had just said. As I walked out of the box she avoided eye contact. I felt absolutely terrible.

Not much of a confession, but most Pixar movies hit the heart too hard.
Even more of a mess when I'm drinking and watching

[quote name='VipFREAK']I like the Midget from Games of Thrones.[/QUOTE]

EVERYBODY likes the midget. He's like the most popular POV character by far in the books. And Peter Dinklage holds his own on the TV show without being a stereotypical "midget." That dude is going to snag himself an Emmy. Bout time he got some recognition.

I got molested once?

I like chili.

Once drew a pic of Sonic jacking off for the trolololololols

[quote name='Anexanhume']There was this one time when my friend and I (who was three years older than me, I was about 10 at the time) were visiting the St. Louis area with his family. We went into this restaurant at a fairly downtime, yet the old hag that they had roll out and service us was horrible. She questioned our orders as if we were new to English, gave us shitty service, and there was hair in our food.

Afterward, my friend's mother went to the manager of the place and complained, which resulted in us getting the meal for free.

But that was not enough. Justice had to be done.

My friend and I said we needed to go use the restroom before we left. Operation Make the Hag Pay went into action. We began by clogging the sinks with toilet paper and making them overflow, but that was amateur shit. Our next move was to go into the stalls and lase the toilets and stall floors with our Bear Grylls juice.

But still, that was not enough.

Fortunately, my colon came out of the reserve to assist in the operation. I told my friend I had to poop, and I went into the stall on my own. I pulled down my pants and placed my right cheek on the toilet seat while my left hung free in the air like an intrepid mountain goat. The fear of shitting on yourself or falling into your own shit is what I imagine getting a blow job on the edge of a cliff would be. Sure it's dangerous, but anything is worth the payoff.

In retrospect, I've realized something my ten year old could have never guessed; a turd falling approximately 18 inches onto tile floor sounds like skins slapping when you are doing a chick doggy style with a period of around 2 cycles per second. Any shorter and you don't get the sound. Any faster and the duration of the slap is simply too quick to emulate the prolonged dispersal of force that a semi-solid piece of fecal matter will undergo in this scenario.

I pulled up my pants and let my friend into the stall (the residual poop in my ass would be a badge of honor) and we proceeded to gathering toilet paper biohazard mitts for ourselves and went halvsies on my log. Then we made Bob Ross proud. We decorated the walls of the stall, both metal and tile with poop smears reminiscent of cave drawings of the millenia of yore.

Satisfied with our art and destruction, we left the bathroom and rejoined his mother, grandmother and sister in their van. As we put on our seatbelts, his sister (who was one year my junior) leaned over to us and shared a secret smile with us "I overflowed the sinks and got soap everywhere."

My friend and I then shared a knowing glance and chuckled to each other as we pulled away and concluded our mission.[/QUOTE]

Nice job, douche, you're disgusting and you got your "revenge" on the cleaning staff who had nothing to do with it. Really hope your story is fake.

[quote name='Number83']...Before the end of the world tomorrow. Something you've never told anyone.

I'll start it off...When I was a kid, and my parents used to give me money to put into my church envelope for collection, I would take the money and go to 7-11 and play arcade games with it...after going to mass, that is. The church has since been closed.[/QUOTE]

Someone's not getting raptured!

[quote name='crystalklear64']I was raised catholic and was a legit goody2shoes. When I went on retreat for confirmation (this happens 9th/10th grade), you're supposed to like really come clean to the priest. This is like super extra special mega confession time. Well I really had nothing to confess, I swear I was going for sainthood when I was young, and I felt dumb and like the priest was going to believe I had no sins to confess right? So, I lied my ass off. I made up ridiculous story after ridiculous story about how I stole money from my parents to buy drugs and broke shop windows for fun and pissed on hobos with my friends. First time I had ever done anything wrong like that in my life. Irony I believe.[/quote]

Ugh, I hated when I had to go to confessional. I rarely had anything to confess, and they made us go so often at the beginning. Rather than make up interesting stories, I took the more boring approach and was just incredibly vague: "I was mean to my sister." "I disobeyed my parents."

i keep a secret stash in the attic on the east elevation 5 ft from the eave.
Kakakaka... =P

[quote name='dchrisd']Nice job, douche, you're disgusting and you got your "revenge" on the cleaning staff who had nothing to do with it. Really hope your story is fake.[/QUOTE]

It's as real as your feigned outrage.

Karma got us back though. My friend died of an accidental overdose at age 19, and I had to read your post.

a year ago i thought i had to fart... but i shit myself...

[quote name='SgtRamirez']I let the dogs out...Blame me.

Also, I shot the sheriff.[/QUOTE]

I was wondering about that. I took out the deputy and checked on the sheriff and someone beat me to the punch.

i saw a ufo once in college. the stars in the sky are not all stars.

I banged your mom. Yes YOURS!!!

I once picked up my sis-in-law's cell phone out of curiosity and looked through her pics... I found many dirty, dirty, dirty pics of her and her lesbian girlfriend on there. I've never told my wife about what I saw...

[quote name='pacifickarma']I once picked up my sis-in-law's cell phone out of curiosity and looked through her pics... I found many dirty, dirty, dirty pics of her and her lesbian girlfriend on there. I've never told my wife about what I saw...[/QUOTE]
I'm waiting for the part of the story where said pics were forwarded/copied to another location.

[quote name='dchrisd']I once kinda ran over a dog.

Edit:
Oops. Typo. Should actually replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "child."[/QUOTE]
I heard you also once stole a joke from The Simpsons.

And you ed it up, too. You didn't even put "accidentally" in the first sentence.

I used to watch Jem and quickly change the channel when my brother entered the room. I was truly outrageous.

[quote name='Rodimus']I used to watch Jem and quickly change the channel when my brother entered the room. I was truly outrageous.[/QUOTE]


i liked jem too and yeah much like you i hid it because it was a chik cartoon. i really liked alot of the music lol.

looking back on the show its kinda odd so that chik could be 2 people jem and her real self but both identities were dating the same guy more or less. youd think the chick would be pissed off her bf was macking on jem when she wasnt around but she was cool with it.

When I was just hitting puberty, I used to masterbate to a medical encyclopedia that my mom had bought at the grocery store. They had this picture of this REAL hot chick nude from behind to show you where the kidneys were......I was looking a bit lower than that.

[quote name='lokizz']i saw a ufo once in college. the stars in the sky are not all stars.[/QUOTE]

I saw one in my backyard. Crazy shit!

I once urinated on the side of someone's shoe who was standing next to me at the urinals in the bathroom at a night club. I said sorry, but I wasnt really sorry. He was pretty mad nonetheless. It was great!

I once smacked a friend in the face with a DVD inside a plastic bag. It was windy and I just let the wind smack the bag up into her face.