The Unauthorized Story of the Plucky Little Hockey Team That Could...Maybe
Continuing our tradition of coming up with an "oh so clever" moniker for each year, we decided to call ourselves the Canaderps this year. This may give the appearance that we hate Canadians...and that's just entirely not true. We hate Canadians who beat us, lol.
Honestly, we just thought it was a funny expression, and we didn't get as much hate mail this past year, so we thought we could improve on that. This will be the team's 5TH YEAR of play! And as always, we welcome people who are dedicated to the game and want to learn how to play right. You too can be a Canaderp! Keep reading!
How We Play
This is a team for people who wish to compete at a high level and learn the correct way to play their position and hockey in general. Your play will be critiqued, and your contributions to the team will be evaluated. This is not to deride anyone for the way they play, but to improve the team and to give us a better chance of winning games and competing for a championship.
If you become a detriment to the team, there is a possiblity you could be cut. Not saying this to scare anybody off...but we're looking for smart, skilled, and committed players.
There are playoffs each month for the three divisions (Amateur, Pro, Elite), and the top five players at their preferred positions (six if we can ever find a reliable/consistent goalie) will be selected for the playoff roster based on statistics compiled during that month. Yes, there is sort of an "established" playoff roster from last year, but no one is untouchable or unwilling to step aside if they are outplayed in a given month. The spots are open for the taking. But it's up to each individual to earn them.
One thing that we strongly recommend is that you do not use the "Be a Pro" or "Action" camera types. While these angles can be exciting for single player modes, they do a poor job of showing you the ice and which teammates may be open (especially players behind you). Since we strive to play strong team hockey and get everyone involved, it makes sense to be able to see the entire zone as you play. The CAG team advises that you use the "Ice", "Classic", or even "Overhead" cameras.
When We Play
We have two official Hockey Nights each week. These fall on Tuesday and Friday, and usually start around 10 PM EST and end in the wee hours of the morning. These hockey nights can be filled with ranked games against other EASHL clubs, team practices to improve on basic skills and fundamentals, or even intrasquad games to compete against each other. There are also other random times throughout the week that we play, but Tuesday and Friday are the definite times you can find the team. If you'd like to play, please feel free to join us! If you'd like your information posted on the team roster, please see the "How to Sign Up" section below. See you on the ice!
How To Sign Up
Keep in mind, we have official weekly Hockey Nights on Tuesdays and Fridays from 10PM EST - UNTIL (usually 1-2AM EST), and do play other random times as well. The more time you put into the team, the better we'll be and the more you'll get out of it.
If you're interested in taking part in these fun and awesome community gatherings, just find the team in the game (search "BTR" or "Wifebeaterz"), and send a join request. And be sure to post in the thread and include the following information:
Number | CAG Name | XBL Gamertag | Skater Name | Preferred Position
Number | CAG Name | XBL Gamertag | Skater Name | Preferred Position | Hockey Card
#21 | moojuice | moojuiced | Domingo Ayala | Left Field (more like left out, m i rite) |
#24 | DarkTower80 | DarkTower80 | Elite Banenr | Right Wing/Right Defenseman |
#39 | n8rockerasu | n8rocker82 | Pron Banner | Center/Left Defenseman/Left Wing |
#71 | jza1218 | statnut28 | Amatuer Banner | LW |
2011-2012 Cheap Azz Wifebeaterz
2010-2011 CheapyD All Stars
2009-2010 CheapyD All Stars
2009-2010 Sex Panthers
2009-2010 Crotch Sharks
2008-2009 CAG Hockey Team
Coach Alan's Corner
CAG Hockey Breakdown Videos
Working the puck out of the corner:
Example of a good breakout play:
Getting The Most Out of Your Player
The following guide will show you how to best distribute your points and which boosts you should apply based on the cost of raising each attribute. Setting your player up wisely will give you an edge over the competition!
As you may or may not know, NHL 12 allows people to set their own custom playlists for in game events (team intros, goals, penalties, etc.). The great thing about this is you can stream the music from your computer and have the playlists pre-set. All you have to do is assign them to the specific events in game. You can find the pack here, along with full instructions on how to install it.
NHL 12 Soundpack