Loved the show starting off with Bret, who wore something amazing. He found a pink and black plaid shirt. He got one of the loudest, most sustained pops on WWE TV in ages and included an OLE song too. Punk interrupted his promo, complete with the Hart homage gear. One fan completely lost his shit at Punk and it was great. They had a great back and forth deal that talked up the PPV main event, Punk's super-long title reign actually surpassing Bret, and teased Punk-Bret in some form too. Thank God WWE didn't try to mute the asshole chants. Raw Active doesn't include Bret, but does include BRODUS CLAY. Team Black Guys came out to face Miz and Antonio - huge step up for Antonio. There's going to be a Youtube battle royal to determine the U.S. Title challenger...well that deflated me a bit. The match was fine, but nothing special. I liked Aksana being alluring on the apron, but didn't like having Cesaro lose. Loved everything he and Kofi did though - they've got great chemistry together.
Loved that they kept in Booker's really awkward silence while he tried to explain why he suddenly banned the Brogue kick on SD. They did a WWE HQ deposition skit and they had a chick recording it on a camcorder even though it's being broadcast on TV. Sheamus made a 'shit' joke with his name. Yippie. This went on FOR-
ING-EVER. Sheamus 'smashed' the camera, which apparently could only record in black and white and display a You Can't Do That on Television-level of smashed glass effect. ROH might've been able to top it. Six-diva tag. Some chicks are sending each other Touts back and forth, which matters for some reason. And Eve won that NBC show. Kaitlyn has new, hot Tron-ish gear. Eve won with a neckbreaker. Loved Punk calling the fans AJ's Superfriends and Brodus...tried to be funny interacting with Punk. His match against someone who isn't named The Armbreaker is up next.
Loved the chick behind Cole laughing when Brodus was mentioned. Shockingly, he didn't win and Orton did. Loved Punk doing the side backbreaker while in Bret's gear. I'm glad they brought up Punk saying he was a Heyman guy last year. LOLed at Cole trying to say a basic elbow drop was a reference to HBK and Montreal. Not even the flying elbow, just the regular one. They had a pretty good TV match that was cut short by Dolph's interference. Yet another match they booked themselves into a corner with. King came into help Orton, so I guess we're getting a HOLLA HOLLA TAG MATCH PLAYA. Odd to have Cole get cut off mid-sentence for a break.
Yup, it's a holla holla tag due to a AJ. Things like this really make the roster seem super-thin. Punk holding the tag rope in a sarcastic manner amused me. This match without anyone as a replacement for King really dragged due to Cole's lack of emotion during his work. God, Vickie screeching during Punk and Heyman's meeting sucked. Then the match meant nothing as they just focused on Punk and Heyman - to the point of them blocking the shot of the RKO finish. Poor Dolph. They showed another graphic for Bret interviewing Cena, which I don't want to see - I like Bret's deal from the opening being it. Doing more risks overstaying his welcome.
Loved Heyman's look of disgust at Striker during the interview, and Punk's delivery of 'I'm a Paul Heyman guy'. The SD Kane-Bryan vid still rules. Kane and Bryan had another wacky skit with Dr. Shelby...backstage. Slater continued his promo war with Ryder and faced...Ry...back... Goldberg chants continue. They showed fans humping the air and piped in FEED ME MORE chants. WWE HAS THE #1 MOBILE APP IN THE WORLD. Loved the PTPs getting a whistle as a new prop. They met with AJ over being number 1 contenders...no, a porn didn't break out. This deal was tremendous, and now they have to face Bryan and Kane to get a tag title shot.
They had a match. The PTPs act is finally clicking without AW. Kane and Bryan won after a chokeslam to Bryan on DY. Well, that takes things further away from Rey and Sin Cara holding the gold. Something happened with King, and kudos for Cole for doing so well with things without King there and with tons of stuff happening all around him. They came back with an extended video package and Alberto faced poor Tyson Kidd. Nothing at all from Cole about King, but he sounds back to normally vocally, so I'm hoping for the best. HOLY CRAP, TYSON ACTUALLY LOCKED ON THE SHARPSHOOTER! Dammit, Alberto made it to the ropes. They actually found a way to make the crowd care about something after the Lawler deal and then they went right back to not caring. They brought up King after Alberto's promo - King passed out and Cole is nearly crying with every word. They're doing CPR...I don't like this.
Sheamus came out to face Otunga...I really just wish they'd end the show. Cole's there, but is just silent. This is real scary. Sheamus got the crowd going again with the Brogue Kick on Otunga. Booker's actually on Raw for a change. He'll strip Sheamus of the title if the kick is done again before the end of Booker's investigation. This could take a while - Booker couldn't even do his own research on the tag division. They're back with video packages, Tout, zero announcing. Bryan, Kane, and Shelby are trying to save this. They didn't nix the word corpse from this. Shelby's idea of TEAM FRIENDSHIP is nearly as bad as Team Ambition. More videos, no VO...this is just weird. Cole's back talking and he's clearly been crying a lot. King's breathing on his own, and there will be no further commentary tonight. I can't believe they wouldn't just let Cole go to the back before, but at least they're giving him a break now.
Cody faced Rey, and this reminds me of a PWG DVD with no commentary by default. They had every SD match they've ever had, and Cody won after Miz helped. Then Cody hit Miz with the Cross Rhodes. Wel, that was unexpected. Guess it's a 3 way for the PPV. COLE IS STILL OUT THERE. I guess they're doing it to keep up appearances for the live crowd, but this whole show now feels like them just planning for some damage control.
Cole's back saying that King's reacting to some tests, and Cole seriously deserves a major pay raise for tonight. Cole was praying for him on TV and I nearly lost it. Bret did his interview with Cena, compared Punk to HBK and Cena to himself. Both guys looked like they'd rather be anywhere in the world but in the ring, but they did their jobs as well as could be expected. Loved Punk doing Bret's pose. Cena is doing amazingly well here. He's full of fire and it's helping get through the last ten or so minutes of this show. Punk did great here too, and the crowd not knowing what was going on with King helped the show as a viewer. Punk said he was better than Austin, which is interesting. Cena said that Punk's been champ for 300 days, and for 300 days, the title has been irrelevant...not really sure if that's a smart thing to say. Loved Cena bringing up Punk wearing other wrestler's gear and using their moves and that he needs to find himself - he was full of passion here. LOVED LOVED LOVED this ending deal. It was something they've needed for weeks, and finally did it here. I was terrified when Punk went to punch Bret that he might fall, but thankfully, he didn't and slugged Punk. The show needed some kind of feelgood moment, and this was amazing. Punk clutching his gold for all it was worth ruled too, and King is now stable. YES!
Screens -
FEED ME MORE!
Coming Soon - BlacksonBlondes - The WWE Parody
