Vin Deisel Random Fact Generator

:rofl: When Vin Diesel drinks beer, everyone around him gets drunk.;

One time Vin Diesel was eating at a diner, and when this kid dropped a spoon he killed everyone in the town.

 Vin Diesel caught herpes from a Hispanic dodo but got rid of them using only duct tape and an illegitimate African child named Dan.

Vin Diesel plays counter strike and goes by the name "myg0t_ViN+DieSeL=GoDLiKe".
 
" Vin Diesel actually runs on gasoline. Originally he was called Vin V8, but the vegetable juice people sued him."
 
"Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist who was first baptized by Vin Diesel. Purposefully holding him underwater, Diesel didn't relent until John acknowledged the suppression of the Sacred Feminine in Hebrew mysticism. He then crashed the Garden of Eden where he ghosted Adam and wore the Serpent as a retro-cool pimp belt. Afterwards, he renamed all the animals species using only anagrams of the letters G, A and R. He later pitched to Jesus a remake of "Guys and Dolls" with the Archangel Michael as Nathan Detroit and Satan as Big Jule. Vin Diesel and Jesus composed the song "Convoy" to pad out the third act".
 
"Vin Diesel once had to choose between saving a baby or the baby's mother from a burning house. Since it wouldn't have been fair to choose, he instead cooked a BLT and peppered the sandwich with their ashes."

omfg
 
Vin Diesel once bet Satan a quarter that he could win a best 2 out of 3 Paper-Rock-Scissors match against the Prince of Darkness. After decisively winning the first two rounds, Vin was forced to give Satan a purple-nurple before he would cough up the 25 cents.
 
Vin Diesel doesn't actually have bones or internal organs. Underneath his skin is another slightly smaller Vin Diesel and underneath that is yet another even smaller Vin Diesel. After the third layer his body is filled with rich, creamy nougat.

:drool:

Edit: Had to share this one- "Vin Diesel whizzed on the electric fence."
 
In the movie 'When Harry met Sally', Vin Diesel plays the heavy set older woman who after hearing Meg Ryan perform her own little orgasm says, "I'll have what she's having."
 
...and now a random fact about Vin Diesel:

Google searches Vin Diesel. EDIT: That's not 100% correct. 97 of Google's 132 primary clusters are subcutaneously implanted under Vin's left nipple. However, after the Paris Hilton sidekick fiasco, it was discovered that Vin Diesel lacked sufficient power density and bandwidth to keep Google running smoothly under heavy load, so 35 of the primary search clusters were removed from the actual Vin Diesel, and implanted in his Doppelganger from the Bizarro universe. Bizarro Vin Diesel is a scrawny japanese-american accountant who resides in Murfreesboro, Tennesee.
Click to expand...

I am only quoting this because I'm pretty sure I know that accountant.
 
[quote name='the3rdkey']In the movie 'When Harry met Sally', Vin Diesel plays the heavy set older woman who after hearing Meg Ryan perform her own little orgasm says, "I'll have what she's having."[/QUOTE]


Vin Diesel is Rob Reiner's mom?
 
There are sockets in Vin Diesel's arms and feet for the heads of four smaller Vin Diesels to connect into. Together they merge and become Vin-Diesel-Cator. To date, this has only happened once.
 
Vin Diesel spelt backwards is "Awesome".

Vin Diesel created Earth as an expansion pack to Command and Conquer.

Vin Diesel coded Diablo by himself, but is not responsible for the console versions.
 
Vin Diesel invented Snapple

When dating girls of Chinese origin, he serenades them by parking his 83 Toyota Tracel under their window and turning his tricked out system as loud as it will go to the song "I'm in love wit chu" by Da Brat...ironically all his Chinese girls have had the last name Chu.

Vin Diesel was circumcised at birth. His foreskin is now a professional golfer that goes by the name Tiger Woods.
 
"It is believed by most that Vin Diesel does not feel the need to eat, but does so out of habit. His favourite dishes include the despair of the innocent, the last breath of the dying, and spaghetti bolognaise. "

"Vin Diesel's tears function as autonomous beings, which can also shed tears."
 
Vin Diesel is harmful to radiation.

Vin Diesel cannot hear the word Onomatopoeia uttered in his presence. If it is he will stamp his foot three times and then dissolve into a pool of locusts that will devour New Hampshire.
 
It is not laughter that is the best medicine, but Vin Diesel.

Vin Diesel lives his life in "bullet-time".

Vin Diesel came before the chicken AND the egg.

Vin Diesel is, in fact, the real son of God. He didn't need the extra attention, so he found a drugged out hippie named Jesus to take his place. Thousands of years later, Vin found out about Jesus' crusifixion. He simply laughed.
 
"It used to be called Vinezuela." :applause:

EDIT: Oh, and the smartass in me first though of just replying "Random Fact #1: It's actually spelled 'Diesel' ", but then i started reading these and it's just hilarious! so who cares...
 
"Vin Diesel has been the creative directer of every Olympic opening and closing ceremony since the St Moritz Winter Games in 1928. However, he refuses to have any involvement in Beijing 2008 as a show of solidarity towards Taiwanese separatists, who supply all of Vin Diesel's cybernetic enhancements. When called by Chinese Olympic officials asking him to reconsider his position on the issue, Vin Diesel simply hung up the phone because he does not speak Chinese."
 
Vin Diesel had a colonic once; the result was the Statue of Liberty. I tasted this liberty, and it was good.
 
Vin Diesel is, in fact, the real son of God. He didn't need the extra attention, so he found a drugged out hippie named Jesus to take his place. Thousands of years later, Vin found out about Jesus' crusifixion. He simply laughed.

:rofl:

A little known fact is that Vin Diesel blew up the Challenger space shuttle after being selected to man it. After a particularly hot Lamb Karahi curry the night before Vin decided to squeak one out as the shuttle was launching believing that no one would notice. The resulting explosion incinerated the craft and was thought to be as hot as 12 suns. Vin Diesel was the only survivor.

:lol:
 
Vin Diesel's scrotum was torn off by an angry tyrannosaurus on his last expedition to Africa in 1984. It was replaced by skin from the tyrannosaurus' leg, which Vin ripped off with his bare hands, and his testicles were replaced by radioactive remains from Fat Man and Little Boy, the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. This also explains why Japanese people are extremely anxious around him.

Vin Diesel was the one who let the dogs out.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
Vin Diesel once took a dump. That dump is what we now call North Dakota.

*edit*
The U.S. actually dropped Vin Diesel onto Hiroshima, and that one can speak for itself.
 
Vin Diesel once tried to write the word Vin on every pair of Diesel jeans in the world. He was stopped when he was told the story of Don Johnson's untimely death when he tried to write the word Don on every Howard Johnson in North America.

LMAO
 
Vin Diesel was the real creator of Spawn, not Todd McFarlane. In fact, Vin Diesel IS Spawn, and using his awesome hell powers, he thought up the greatest sci-fi movies ever, including Alien, Blade Runner, and Terminator. He also starred in all of them, as both the main characters and as the monsters, and his favorite roles were those of Newt, the Alien Queen, Pris, and John Connor, while simultaneously impregnating all the supposed people who played the above-mentioned roles, and causing all of them to give birth to their own grandchildren, because his semen is really Red Bull energy drink.
 
Vin Diesel owns the dog from Duck Hunt

Vin Diesel is the inspiration for Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.

He invented the Drunken Master style and inspired the character of Mrs Wong after he faked a pregnancy to escape torture during the Battle of Hastings in 1066.

Vin Diesel once used Gary Coleman as a hand puppet. Coleman said the experience changed his life and led him to give up smoking.
 
This is the best one I've seen so far:

Vin Diesel regularly had unprotected sex with Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury just to prove he's immune to the AIDS virus. Obviously, he was. Freddie Mercury died and Magic Johnson's talk show was a miserable failure, and Vin is as successful as ever.

These are good too:

Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Vin Diesel can drink a packet of Swiss Miss chocolate mix and urinate a steaming cup of hot cocoa. Interestingly enough, this only works with the Swiss Miss brand, and is now one of their main selling points

The secret ingrediant in Dr Pepper is not prune juice; rather, it is Vin Diesel's blood, sweat, and tears. In Diet Dr Pepper, Vin's semen is added as well.

And this one's just freaky...

If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives".


I keep finding more and more:

Vin Diesal’s first time working with Steven Spielberg was not “Saving Private Ryan” but was infact Jaws. He played the ocean.

Vin Diesel can read braille with his scrotum
 
If you utter the phrase "klaatu barada nikto", Vin Diesel will fellate a monkey in your living room for $4.99.

Vin Diesel once got so angry at a man that he punched him hard enough to cause his ancestors to feel it. This is how Napoleon lost the Battle of Waterloo.

Vin Diesel once had Parkenson's disease but he shook it off. :rofl:

WSB == Vin Diesel? :shock: :lol:

Vin Diesel plays "The King" in Burger King's Wake Up With The King TV commercials. He is paid in Angus beef
 
The integral of ln |x| is Vin Diesel.

Vin Diesel killed a hooker one winter, disemboweled her, and lived inside her evicerated body for 3 months until spring.

Vin Diesel can predict the shuffle on his iPod.

Vin Diesel's 1969 paper on quantum mechanics is the reason why Stephen Hawking is in a wheel chair.


...and finally, the fact about Vin Diesel that they don't want you to know.

He has a secret crush on the girl next door and is too shy to ask her out.
 
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