How to handle a breakup ?

iKilledChewbacca

iKilledChewbacca

Banned
I know it may seem crazy that I am asking a lot of gamers this question, but I am just looking for any help.

My girlfriend of 7 months just ended it with me 2 nights ago, every since I am have been so freaking depressed and just dont know what I am doing. I am having trouble sleeping, just very easily put in a down mood.

Not only has that happened, but I also chose to quit smoking 3 days before we broke up and it just hasnt been easy on me.

What are some ways that I can handle this ? Oh and btw me and her work at the same place and are constantly in the same room and stuff. Should I put in my 2 weeks notice ? It hurts me just seeing her.

It wasnt a terribly bad breakup, she just didnt think that it could work out. (she said that she kept trying to imagine a future in her head, and it just never appeared), she wasnt happy with our relationship and I am thankful in some way that she let me know that.

PLEASE ANYTHING THAT CAN HELP, THROW IT AT ME :
 
I was with someone for 7 years and it came to an abrupt end. I found that keeping myself busy, as KillerSmokey24 said, helped a lot. Also, find a new hobby. Doing things that you did when you were with her will not help. Maybe take an interest in cooking, or going to museums. Just getting out of your house and doing something different will help. And who knows? Maybe you'll meet some new friends trying out some new activities.

Good luck, OP.


Edit: One last thing: ignore people like "MisterModest" - that's a real dick move by him
 
Thank you KillerSmokey24, and jr233270. I suppose I can find a new hobby. I've always wanted to get into fishing haha, I just dont know if that would help. Maybe though
 
[quote name='iKilledChewbacca']Thank you KillerSmokey24, and jr233270. I suppose I can find a new hobby. I've always wanted to get into fishing haha, I just dont know if that would help. Maybe though[/QUOTE]

I would say no to fishing unless you have friends with you. While I enjoy fishing, its also a hobby where if the fish arent biting, and nobody to talk to, theres a lot of thinking time. And there is probably one thing that will find its way into your mind...

Really, there are only three things to do especially since you work together. You can quit or get back together, but those probably arent the best things to do. As hard as it is, just hang in there until you get over her. But its always easier if you can get in another relationship that you like, because once you do, theres a chance you wont care because you moved on.
 
Yep, just keep busy. Hang out with family and friends, make more time for hobbies you enjoy. Just need to keep your mind off of things until you get over it.

If you live away from friends/family, then look into social things to do locally. Meetup.com groups for hobbies you enjoy etc.
 
Obtain Kitkat bar.
Walk into place crowded with hunnies.
Offer them to break off a piece of your Kitkat bar.
First taker = new girlfriend.

Otherwise, as others mention, keep yourself busy. Fill all of your available time with activities. Preferably, make them productive. Learn a new skill. Hopefully it's something that interests you so it doesn't end up boring. It's also really helpful to do physically demanding stuff, since you can generally release endorphins and cheer yourself up naturally.

7 months is nothing in relationship time. I say this not out of malice but out of "it's not as bad as you might think it is, and you'll look back on it and laugh/shrug really soon."
 
[quote name='CaseyRyback']Did you ever stick it in her pooper?[/QUOTE]

From a mod? Now that's just uncalled for. You can't even call him a cool guy

EDIT - Hey, my post got changed! That's not what I said! I said you can't call him a hilarious dude

EDIT 2 - Casey, stop! Seriously man!

;)
 
[quote name='n8rockerasu']From a mod? Now that's just uncalled for. You can't even call him a cool guy

EDIT - Hey, my post got changed! That's not what I said! I said you can't call him a hilarious dude

EDIT 2 - Casey, stop! Seriously man!

;)[/QUOTE]

I've been highly disappointed that no one gets asked that anymore. Figured someone needed to bring it back.
 
[quote name='CaseyRyback']Did you ever stick it in her pooper?[/QUOTE]

Opened up this thread to specifically see if someone had said this... CAG never fails to disappoint.

As others have mentioned, keep yourself busy and most importantly, try to spend lots of time with friends. You'll probably get over this sooner than you may think, and I recommend not leaving your job as that could be seen as running away from your problems. Just try to grin and bear it, as it may actually benefit you to go through it this way. Like they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

At any rate, good luck OP!
 
Since you're on CAG I'm sure you have a backlog! Start there... Myself I would look to God and realize that losing this girl is not the end bro, work on yourself quit the smoking and then hit the streets for a better chick!
 
[quote name='CaseyRyback']Did you ever stick it in her pooper?[/QUOTE]

Glad to see someone already asked the most pertinent question. Inquiring minds want to know! :)
 
Some good advice already here, OP - I may repeat a lot of it, but that'll (hopefully) reinforce what others have said.

First off, if quitting smoking at the same time is too much, put that on hold for a little while. A man needs some vices. I don't condone or recommend smoking, but sometimes too much is too much, and it's good to recognize when that is.

Of course, if you ditch the smoking now and stick with it...hell, talk about some kickass willpower. Can be proud of that. Nothing like personal power to overcome rejection.

You're single now, so it's time to concentrate on numero uno: you. And the best way to do that is to do the things you enjoy doing, whatever those things are. Or most especially to do the things you stopped doing or wanted to but didn't do, because you were with her. (Try as we all might to keep this from happening, it happens.)

Exercise is a fantastic option.

Anything artistic is, too, whether it's writing, drawing, singing, it doesn't matter.

Getting out every day is advisable - the more isolated you are, the more isolated and alone you'll feel and become.

Take a book, your computer or tablet to a nearby coffee shop or diner and plump yourself down for an hour or two, even if you're by yourself. Doesn't matter - you're out! And you'll have opportunities to interact with people. (Leave the headphones at home, or at least don't wear them the entire time.)

Invite your friends out and/or visit them. Same with family.

Then, take some well-earned alone time when you need it.

Your mind will stray to her, especially if you see her every day. But if you're concentrating on yourself and your needs, you'll be better grounded to handle seeing her. Accept that you're going to see her. Accept her decision. You don't have to like it or agree with it, but accept it, breath and get on with your life.

Above all, for your own sense of pride, don't go all sad-puppy-face when you see her, on your insides or out. Keep firm. She made her decision. You might even say she lacks imagination. Too bad for her. You're a good catch, right? She's giving you a gift, letting you go. Find someone better for YOU. (Obviously it's not her.)

If you decide to leave your job, make sure you secure another one before leaving.

And word of advice: don't date anyone at work again. While there are exceptions, it's generally a no-no for the very situation you're in now.

Good luck! It'll pass eventually.
 
No I never stuck it in the pooper...attempted but just couldnt. Now lets go on....

I went over to my brothers house today (I dont see him that often), I told him about everything and he just said "I got something just for you bro"...He headed upstairs and I followed. He had just bought a brand new workout machine that had a few nicks and nacks missing (yardsale) and he gave it to me :D

We spent the next 4 hours pumping weights, man was it treacherous. BUT now I feel very lifted in a sence....maybe because I haven't touched a dumbbell in over 3 years...haha.

I really do want to thank EVERYONE who has given positive thoughts, It really does mean a lot that other people care about completely random others who are having trouble.

I know I still got a while to go before I can even start getting over her, but I believe it will happen.
 
I wouldn't quit your job unless you have a new one right away, especially in this economy.

As for how to deal with it, get active and try to hang out with other people. Being alone after a break up isn't a good idea, so try to fill your time with something. At the end of the day though, be thankful that this happened at 7 months and not at 7 years.
 
never listen to Joe Rogan..ever.

But working out is a great idea. I got back into running after a breakup.

When I got the ol' heave ho, I watched a lot of simpsons. Even in the depths, they always made me laugh. Find something that will do that for you.
 
I will say a couple things you shouldn't do.
Do not
  • Listen to The Cure
  • Try to talk to her for a while unless necessary
  • Oversleep
  • Get down on yourself.
  • Get inebriated by yourself
Just be yourself and try to better yourself. Working out helps a lot and will help you quit smoking too. Also, try to get laid. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so dangle your worm out and see who bites. You'll feel a million times better if you do, and if you don't, well the attention you'll get from women will make you feel better too.
 
I know this question may sound somewhat odd....but she was really into Sons of Anarchy and she got me hooked. Would watching that without her be hard on me ? Or just varies by person.

and yes that was a serious question.
 
I was with my first girlfriend for five years, but then it ended. It was tough. The first year was rough, with a ton of ups and downs, and I was often deeply depressed. I finally got my mind on other things, like trying to buy a house, and working out (which clinically speaking, is probably a good natural way to stave off the blues with the endorphins and what not) and I feel pretty good.

If you loved her, and she was your first love, then your thoughts on it will never go away completely. You'll just be able to function like a human being, which does entail dating and such-- hopefully fairly quickly, as it was seven months.

EDIT: Just saw your other post. Watching Star Trek: TNG was impossible for me for at least a year. I got her hooked on the show. During the down times, it just made me feel more down and exacerbated my pain because it reminded me of the good times I had with her. But I'm back to watching it. I think that sort of thing just depends on the mood, so you just have to progress normally- when the oven feels hot, don't touch it. Get rid of all evidence of her in your life, including Sons of Anarchy, and when you feel resolved, it'll be a lot easier to be around that stuff.
 
[quote name='iKilledChewbacca']Dude, please...dont be like that.[/QUOTE]
No seriously, if you were good at eating her pussy, and I mean real good at eating her pussy, she wouldn't have dumped you.
 
treat-to-self-2.jpg
 
[quote name='Friend of Sonic']I ...[/QUOTE]


Every time I see your name, I think you're this dude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHaRhuzZMWo


Oh, and Chewbacca, it's a lot more difficult when your lives are more intertwined. Just be glad that it's seven months and not seven years. People change. It happens. No sense in dwelling on the past. Choosing to feel depressed will only make you feel worse. Find something to do in the meanwhile, and get back on the horse. Everyone, at some point in their life, steps in shit. You either stop and feel sorry for yourself, or shake it off and continue your stride.
 
[quote name='Arakias']
treat-to-self-2.jpg
[/QUOTE]

Love this. Thats the best advice you're gonna get. All the extra effort you were putting in the relationship: Put it back into you
 
Pretty much echo what everyone else is saying about throwing yourself into some form of activity. I myself am kind of on the verge of a break up with my "boyfriend". I use quotation marks in that I have no idea what the hell we are. Its been 5 years since we last seen each other, all his profiles say "single", and in one instance saying that "friends with benefits arrangements welcome". After putting my life on hold for 5 years waiting for him, I'm not expecting things to get any better anytime soon and just putting distance between me and him. Ironically, around the time I started giving all this serious consideration (about a month ago), I finally started talking to a guy that I've been interested in for a long time but could never get the nerve. I'm hoping that that may turn into something.

As one guy said, be glad it was seven months and not seven years. Honestly, I've learned over the years that if its only been a few months then its not worth getting so overly upset over. If its years and you pour your heart into the relationship, then yeah, its gonna hurt. And hurt bad. Believe me, been there, done that, got the T shirt...
 
[quote name='Predator21281']I will say a couple things you shouldn't do.
Do not
  • Listen to The Cure
  • Try to talk to her for a while unless necessary
  • Oversleep
  • Get down on yourself.
  • Get inebriated by yourself
Just be yourself and try to better yourself. Working out helps a lot and will help you quit smoking too. Also, try to get laid. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so dangle your worm out and see who bites. You'll feel a million times better if you do, and if you don't, well the attention you'll get from women will make you feel better too.[/QUOTE]

Stay VERY far away from their album Disintegration!
 
[quote name='iKilledChewbacca']I know this question may sound somewhat odd....but she was really into Sons of Anarchy and she got me hooked. Would watching that without her be hard on me ? Or just varies by person.

and yes that was a serious question.[/QUOTE]

Pretty much echo what most others have said her, the only bad thing to do is NOTHING. Don't sit, dwell, worry, or think about what you could have done. Literally do ANYTHING else, it will help get your mind off of her and that "I wish she was here doing this with me" feeling will eventually wear off.

As for your question about Sons of Anarchy, don't do that to yourself. If there's a special park, or super special restaurant that you two shared good times at, that's understandable. But don't turn every TV show, movie, game, book, or [INSERT NOUN HERE] into a battle scar. If you like Sons of Anarchy, watch it and enjoy it, and use it to forget about her instead of remember her. (as an aside, when my brother broke up with his g/f for good, he refused to go to the south end of the valley "because that's where she lives" and it was "just too hard for him". Please don't do things like that, or if you do, keep them secret. Those are the types of things that make people go from sympathizing you to start thinking that you're acting pathetic).

As for work, that's up to you. I'd definitely recommend looking for a new job before quitting this one, don't just up-and-quit. Also, don't date people you work with on a day to day basis. (I know this is hindsight now, but I can't stress how important this is for future relationships).

Finally, remember that your friends and family are there to sympathize with you and will be there for you. For a while. For a 7 month relationship, I'd say they'll give you a good 1-2 months of sympathy and help. But after a while, if you keep leaning on them, crying and venting to them, they will get tired of it. And it will certainly alienate your relationships with them. Make sure to show them signs that you're working on getting better, if you don't show that attitude to them, they will start getting frustrated and annoyed with you.
 
I recommend going on 4chan, posting your thread on /b/ and await helpful and caring responses.
 
You'll get over it. Unfortunately the only thing that heals the pain is time. Fortunately for you, nothing stops father time so eventually you will get over it.

No amount of convincing yourself that you don't need her or keeping yourself preoccupied will really help all that much. If you wanna cry, cry. If you get depressed, let yourself be sad. It will blow over though.
 
[quote name='usickenme']never listen to Joe Rogan..ever.
[/QUOTE]

A little off topic but why? If you don't mind me asking. I rather enjoy his podcast.

As for the OP I can't really help. I am TERRIBLE at relationships. When I am in them, I either think I can do better or she's cheating on me. My longest relationship was about three to five months. I have one about every two years. Don't get me wrong I've banged plenty of women (more then 5!) and have had random hookups. But as others were saying, keep yourself busy. I think the best advice is "Nothing get's you over the last one like the next one". I find this so true even if you're not dating the new one just thinking about how you're going to conquer her will get you over what's her face ;)
 
Reevaluate yourself. Discover who you are without another person in your life. I broke up with the love of my life after 5 years, and I had a delayed heartbreak after I realized she was the one. I have only dated one girl since her and have been single a vast majority of the time, and while it has been the most difficult and depressing time in my life I have taken the time to learn who I was and what I wanted and how to appreciate love when it comes back into my life. Take this as a chance to improve yourself for yourself and for the next women that comes along.
I also recorded an album and buried myself in music. That has helped a lot not only with understanding myself, but also giving me confidence. So like others suggested get into a new hobby.
As far as things you did together, Im not sure. I can watch some shows no problem, but other shows or certain episodes can make me a weeping baby and want to flip it off.
Like someone else said, if you really loved her another thing you need to do is accept that you will never stop thinking about her. Like I said its been over 2 and half years, and I still think about her. Although, I have learned to control it and thru all of this just know that you will become a better person for it. Never let it beat you, but it is ok to be sad and depressed.
 
eh, just never liked him (except maybe on newsradio in small doses)

I'm curious what is the facebook etiquette these days on break up? All mine were in the stone ages.

Like someone else said, if you really loved her another thing you need to do is accept that you will never stop thinking about her. Like I said its been over 2 and half years, and I still think about her. Although, I have learned to control it and thru all of this just know that you will become a better person for it. Never let it beat you, but it is ok to be sad and depressed.
Click to expand...

Hell yes. Remember, there are just some doors you gotta walk through alone
 
Well I still watch shows I have watched with exes, but that all depends on you if it affects you. No need to deprive yourself of something you had enjoyed just because someone broke your heart.

Get the ball rolling, and live your life! You just need to get in the mindset of "Screw her! I need to do me!"

I am currently in a relationship right now, but yeah curiosity brings me back to see what the exes are up to. But you know what? The new relationship is much better than the ones I had, and me looking up to see how it's going in their lives just makes me feel better. (Admittedly that I have a more accomplishing life than they do, haha)

I know evil, but once you get into the mindset, it becomes a lot easier to move on.
 
7 months is nothing, and I mean this in the nicest way, it's a little pathetic it has you down.

Enjoy the single life. Take up a new hobby, go meet new people, do things. You'll forget about her quickly.
 
On a serious note. Yeah it sucks, but you'll get over her eventually. Easiest way is to find someone else. You kinda have to be pissed, forget her. The more you ignore her the more power you'll have. By all means do not contact her or wallow and listen to sad music.

Just try and suck it up, toughen up, move on and try to get back on the happy track. You may surprise yourself how fast you can move on, I was in a ten year relationship I was surprised how quickly I got over it (about 5 months...the first 2 sucked ass), I just realized I had to stop being such a puss (sounds harsh, but its true), threw crap that reminded me of her out, and tried something new (tried Krav Maga, Catch Wrestling and Thai Kickboxing which really helped gave me back my confidence). Forget her, have a beer, hang with friends, find a hobby, treat yourself right and eventually you'll meet someone else. There are over 3 1/2 billion women on the planet, she's just one. Your chances are good on meeting someone else.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
[quote name='n8rockerasu']From a mod? Now that's just uncalled for. You can't even call him a cool guy

EDIT - Hey, my post got changed! That's not what I said! I said you can't call him a hilarious dude

EDIT 2 - Casey, stop! Seriously man!

;)[/QUOTE]

just shows how far this site has fallen...

i say go out with your friends to bars and nightclubs dont be afraid to put yourself out their thinking your going to get hurt again cause you probally will... just do your best to try to move on
 
It was only 7 months amigo, you'll get over her quickly. I haven't had a breakup since high school so my only advice is don't hang out by her locker anymore and you should probably eat at a different lunch table. Oh, and if one of her friends calls to ask about how you are doing and what you think about her (either herself or your ex) it is probably a three way call so be careful with what you say.
 
7 months? Damn. That is such a small part of your life - unless you are a baby. You're not a baby are you? No, that's silly, babies can't type... or can they? Maybe you are a really gifted typing baby? OMG. I'm locking my door.

Dude, I dated some girl for 3 years way back and she dumped me out of the blue and I can barely remember anything about her. I'm pretty sure she was a bitch though. This was before the internet and social networking and the realization that there a TONS of girls out there. TONS. Stop crying about it, think of all the ass out there waiting for you and go get some.
 
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