Worst Video Game Article

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What's the worst article about videogames you ever read? I'm not interested in the violent videogame controversy - I'm really just looking for articles about videogames where the author gets everything wrong.
 
Yeah, really can't agree with the Sterling hate. I enjoy his articles a great deal even if I do disagree with some of his opinions.
 
There's tons out there... basically anything that says video games = violent kids/murderers/killers.

But there's one that always sticks out to me because the allegations are so idiotic. It's not an article, but a blog post that had to do with Fat Princess.
http://www.shakesville.com/2008/07/i-write-letters.html

It's pretty clear that she didn't play the game but she's blowing the issue of "fat princess" way out of proporti... I mean, she has no real arguments. How does the game create "fat hating assholes"?
 
I guess if I were to pick one off the top of my head, it would be Destructoid's review of Deadly Premonition.

The game is full of bland, broken gaming mechanics and terrible dialogue, yet the game gets a 10/10 because of it's kooky charm and Twin Peaks vibe (OT fun fact: I was just in Twin Peaks yesterday). I can understand that people like the weird vibe of the game, and even that reviews can be subjective, but that doesn't mean that reviews are just some sort of free-for-all. It's the perfect example of why I don't put any trust in yelp or other user reviews sites and lament the rise of "blogger journalism": someone get fixated on one thing and puts the weight of their entire review on it while ignoring all the other important criteria. This is supposed to be a major gaming site, but to me, this review is no different than the user reviews you see that say things like "Just saw the commercial for MW2 with the Eminem song! So stoked for this 10/10!!!!!"
 
Not an article, but...

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I don't care to give any particular blogs clicks, but I remember many of them reviewing the ps3 version of Skyrim favorably without addressing its gamebreaking framerate and save issues. Luckily, only entitled gamers care about that stuff.

[quote name='Vinny']

It's pretty clear that she didn't play the game but she's blowing the issue of "fat princess" way out of proporti... I mean, she has no real arguments. How does the game create "fat hating assholes"?[/QUOTE]

Not the best article, but it's obviously a game that pokes fun at fat women.
 
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EGMs review of Assassins Creed. The guy just said the game was terrible because Ubisoft wouldnt give him a copy of the game early.
 
[quote name='Rozz']Anita Sarkeesian (of crappy Feminist Frequency fame) had such a bad analysis of Bayonetta that even she removed this video from her channel:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbihPTgAql4[/QUOTE]

In her defense, she reuploaded it with a focus on the advertisement later on: http://www.feministfrequency.com/20...ve-advertising-or-sexual-harassment-training/

Of course, you calling the Feminist Frequency "crappy" makes me think you're one of the people who were "outraged" by her Kickstarter, god forbid people actually talk about the sexism in gaming.
 
[quote name='iamsmart']I guess if I were to pick one off the top of my head, it would be Destructoid's review of Deadly Premonition.

The game is full of bland, broken gaming mechanics and terrible dialogue, yet the game gets a 10/10 because of it's kooky charm and Twin Peaks vibe (OT fun fact: I was just in Twin Peaks yesterday). I can understand that people like the weird vibe of the game, and even that reviews can be subjective, but that doesn't mean that reviews are just some sort of free-for-all. It's the perfect example of why I don't put any trust in yelp or other user reviews sites and lament the rise of "blogger journalism": someone get fixated on one thing and puts the weight of their entire review on it while ignoring all the other important criteria. This is supposed to be a major gaming site, but to me, this review is no different than the user reviews you see that say things like "Just saw the commercial for MW2 with the Eminem song! So stoked for this 10/10!!!!!"[/QUOTE]

I don't understand why someone isn't allowed to have their own opinion? It sounds like you're suggesting that there HAS to be some objective value to which games are compared to?
 
[quote name='linkpwns']I don't understand why someone isn't allowed to have their own opinion? It sounds like you're suggesting that there HAS to be some objective value to which games are compared to?[/QUOTE]

Are you suggesting there should be no objective value to a professionally written review?
 
To me it has to be hands down the bashing of Medal of Honor Warfighter. All of the major review sites bashed the game because it wasn't Call of Duty. I have never bought or not bought a game because of a good or bad review. If you read off duty gamer's review and you actually played the game, you will agree with what they had to say. If anybody's review mattered it should be theirs, those guys were actually in the millitary and know what is authentic and what is not.
 
[quote name='linkpwns']I don't understand why someone isn't allowed to have their own opinion?[/quote]
I don't know why I bothered to write so much just for it to be ignored. I specifically acknowledge that reviews will always be subjective and you come back with "so what, people can't have their own opinions now!?"

It sounds like you're suggesting that there HAS to be some objective value to which games are compared to?
Click to expand...
Reviews will always have an element of subjectiveness to them, that doesn't mean there aren't guidelines to follow. Proper gaming reviews detail the various elements of a game (presentation, playability, graphics, etc.) and how they perform: there will never be an equation for grading these elements, but that doesn't mean there aren't established ideas of good and bad. Generally, even if one particular elements is amazing while the rest are shit, they're not going to give the game a 10/10, a mark of near-perfection. That's what Destructoid did, and that's why they are poo-poo. I'm sorry: IN MY OPINION that's why they are poo-poo.
 
[quote name='fatmanforlife99']To me it has to be hands down the bashing of Medal of Honor Warfighter. All of the major review sites bashed the game because it wasn't Call of Duty. I have never bought or not bought a game because of a good or bad review. If you read off duty gamer's review and you actually played the game, you will agree with what they had to say. If anybody's review mattered it should be theirs, those guys were actually in the millitary and know what is authentic and what is not.[/QUOTE]

I think it brings up an interesting discussion on how to review these annual franchises with the same "tried but true" gameplay: even if the game is polished and plays well, at what point do you start deducting for a lack of innovation? Personally I'm sick of the genre, but I'm still surprised that MoH got such low marks just for being the same old FPS, while BLOPS2 was treated like it reinvented the wheel for its modest changes.
 
[quote name='Nogib']Any and every review written by Jim Sterling over on Destructoid.[/QUOTE]

Agree 100%. Also that Nier review is pretty bad also.
 
[quote name='The Crotch']Not an article, but...

lh18_1.png


videogames.png[/QUOTE]

Honestly I have no clue what is going on in that pic or who that gentleman is, but some odd reason I like that pic a lot lol
 
[quote name='musha666']EGMs review of Assassins Creed. The guy just said the game was terrible because Ubisoft wouldnt give him a copy of the game early.[/QUOTE]
Whoa, whoa. That editorial was done after EGM posted the review of Assassin's Creed 1 and it got around a 6 average or so complaining of the repetition and glitches of the game (which were all valid) and Ubisoft decided to pull the plug on sending them review copies from then onward of the game because of that low score. So Ubisoft was the one who got butt hurt.
 
[quote name='bardockkun']Whoa, whoa. That editorial was done after EGM posted the review of Assassin's Creed 1 and it got around a 6 average or so complaining of the repetition and glitches of the game (which were all valid) and Ubisoft decided to pull the plug on sending them review copies from then onward of the game because of that low score. So Ubisoft was the one who got butt hurt.[/QUOTE]

I'll admit it's been a while, but if I remember correctly, EGM's original review was kinda crappy. I don't disagree with AC1's faults, but I remember one of the editors did shtick for the entirety of their review and gave the game a 3 or 4 out of ten... it was at a time when EGM was becoming a bit more "informal" (not in a good way) in their writing, and it was the last issue I read.
 
Any article about gender and gaming without admitting that men and women simply like and are attracted to different things. Any article that shits out the ESA statistic that nearly half of all gamers are female without putting that figure into context. Primary Xbox 360 and PS3 players are still ~90% male and the average social gamer on the other hand is a 43-year-old female.

To put it another way, I was in Joann Fabric the other day and I was the only guy in there out of maybe 20 customers, yet no one ever says Joann Fabric and the craft/knitting/sewing industry as a whole needs to change in such a way to attract more men.

It's not a huge deal though. It's going to be 2013 soon and games are still racist (Uncharted, Far Cry 3) and sexist (even that Scott Pilgram beat-em-up has bouncing sprite titties, the chicks in Mortal Kombat 9 wear less than the digitized actors in Mortal Kombat 1) and I love it. The progressive crowd isn't making much headway. They complain about these things on tumblr but no one really listens.
 
[quote name='Spokker']Any article about gender and gaming without admitting that men and women simply like and are attracted to different things. Any article that shits out the ESA statistic that nearly half of all gamers are female without putting that figure into context. Primary Xbox 360 and PS3 players are still ~90% male and the average social gamer on the other hand is a 43-year-old female.

To put it another way, I was in Joann Fabric the other day and I was the only guy in there out of maybe 20 customers, yet no one ever says Joann Fabric and the craft/knitting/sewing industry as a whole needs to change in such a way to attract more men.

It's not a huge deal though. It's going to be 2013 soon and games are still racist (Uncharted, Far Cry 3) and sexist (even that Scott Pilgram beat-em-up has bouncing sprite titties, the chicks in Mortal Kombat 9 wear less than the digitized actors in Mortal Kombat 1) and I love it. The progressive crowd isn't making much headway. They complain about these things on tumblr but no one really listens.[/QUOTE]

Pretty much this. People forget that it is still a business, not a charity.

Go buy 100 copies of Mirror's Edge at full price and make sure you get 100 more people to do the same if you want things to change. Vote with your wallet, not your whining on the interwebz.

For the record, I own and enjoyed both Bayonetta and Mirror's Edge (which was far too short IMO).
 
[quote name='Spokker']Any article about gender and gaming without admitting that men and women simply like and are attracted to different things. Any article that shits out the ESA statistic that nearly half of all gamers are female without putting that figure into context. Primary Xbox 360 and PS3 players are still ~90% male and the average social gamer on the other hand is a 43-year-old female.

To put it another way, I was in Joann Fabric the other day and I was the only guy in there out of maybe 20 customers, yet no one ever says Joann Fabric and the craft/knitting/sewing industry as a whole needs to change in such a way to attract more men.

It's not a huge deal though. It's going to be 2013 soon and games are still racist (Uncharted, Far Cry 3) and sexist (even that Scott Pilgram beat-em-up has bouncing sprite titties, the chicks in Mortal Kombat 9 wear less than the digitized actors in Mortal Kombat 1) and I love it. The progressive crowd isn't making much headway. They complain about these things on tumblr but no one really listens.[/QUOTE]

The big difference is that Joann Fabric and the craft/knitting/sewing industry isn't sexist against men.
 
[quote name='JasonTerminator']The big difference is that Joann Fabric and the craft/knitting/sewing industry isn't sexist against men.[/QUOTE]
Nor is the video game industry sexist against women. Both industries have a target demographic and market their products in such a way that will be attractive to that demographic. No one says that women cannot participate, but women, who control most household spending, do not buy or play the traditionally core games on Xbox 360, PS3 and PC. Even on the Wii, a system designed to attract more casual players, women are about 26% of the audience. When women do play video games, it is usually at the behest of a boyfriend/husband, so even the few that do play are not actually voting with their purses. If the argument is that the games industry must change to attract women, I disagree.

[quote name='waldo21212']
Go buy 100 copies of Mirror's Edge at full price and make sure you get 100 more people to do the same if you want things to change. Vote with your wallet, not your whining on the interwebz.
[/QUOTE]Exactly. I'm a so-called sexist gamer and yet I was the one of the few pushing Beyond Good & Evil at a time when no one was talking about it. I can even find my posts from 2004 when I was calling it game of the year 2003. It was a financial flop that all these numerous female gamers should have flocked to and should be flocking to now if they want to support this kind of game. But they don't, and they won't, and that's reality.
 
[quote name='moon_knight']Yay the good ol' video games are sexist discussion.[/QUOTE]

Well, the original topic was fun while it lasted...
 
I'm a pretty ignorant human being, Mr. Terminator. I can't do much to guide you in life. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that you should abandon this conversation.

The Good Lord, see, has provided us with a multitude of mysteries with regards to the hearts and minds of our fellow men. We are possessed of great virtue and harsh devilry and all possible permutations and combinations thereof. Oftentimes you can look at a man and, out the corner of your eye, see that he is imbued with some ineffable purpose, y'know? Maybe there's a song the world just needs him to write. Maybe there's a disease he's been put here to cure. Sometimes there's a man he's just got to kill. I couldn't tell you the reason the Lord saw fit to make His people this way, but it is not mine to reason why.

I say all this because: sometimes - and I posit to you that we have run in to just such a case right here - God puts a man on this Earth of ours with the sole purpose of being Wrong on the Internet.
 
Mass Effect 3 chaos. It really showed just how much of a PR mouth piece the gaming press is for publishers and developers.

Any article about feminism and videogames was horrible.
 
[quote name='moon_knight']Yay the good ol' video games are sexist discussion.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, when someone has a political axe to grind that's a whole different discussion.

I was really just asking for articles about videogames written by a reviewer who is clueless about videogames. To me, those articles are hilarious.

Stuff like this article about the top ten videogames of 2012 - where the winners include "Draw Something" and "Watch Dogs" (which isn't even out yet)
 
[quote name='camoor']I was really just asking for articles about videogames written by a reviewer who is clueless about videogames. To me, those articles are hilarious.

Stuff like this article about the top ten videogames of 2012 - where the winners include "Draw Something" and "Watch Dogs" (which isn't even out yet)[/QUOTE]
I believe that particular article is supposed to be funny, given that it's on Cracked.com.

As for genuinely bad articles, I'm sure I could dig some up, but I don't pay too much attention to them. Just shake my head and try to forget about them. Good articles on the other hand... I have a folder full of bookmarks just for those.
 
[quote name='sdoxas']I imagine you're familiar the fox news segment on Mass Effect.[/QUOTE]

Do you mean Star Wars meets Debbie does Dallas
 
[quote name='Rodimus']Do you mean Star Wars meets Debbie does Dallas[/QUOTE]
I think he means that Virtual Orgasmic Rape simulator.
 
[quote name='Nogib']Any and every review written by Jim Sterling over on Destructoid.[/QUOTE]

I like Sterling. He knows he's a cartoon character and he plays it up for entertainment. I'd rather read a hundred articles like this than the drunken dorm-room philosophizing that Kotaku tries to spin into serious statements about the human condition, like a Very Special Episode of some brain-dead '80s sitcom.
 
[quote name='waldo21212']Pretty much this. People forget that it is still a business, not a charity.

Go buy 100 copies of Mirror's Edge at full price and make sure you get 100 more people to do the same if you want things to change. Vote with your wallet, not your whining on the interwebz.

For the record, I own and enjoyed both Bayonetta and Mirror's Edge (which was far too short IMO).[/QUOTE]

I don't understand why it's okay to whine about graphical or writing issues, but not something as serious as the dehumanization of women in media. If I simply insist on not purchasing a game, the game company won't magically know that I'm doing it because it's sexist, thus awareness campaigns or sexism articles are essential in addition to voting with your wallet.

I honestly would've bought Bayonetta new, if the game had a much less obnoxiously designed main character. I bought Mirror's Edge new at a high price, partly because it was a positive portrayal of women in games.

[quote name='Spokker']Nor is the video game industry sexist against women. Both industries have a target demographic and market their products in such a way that will be attractive to that demographic. [/QUOTE]

The average "hardcore" gamer is probably an adult male in his early 30s, not a teenage boy, so why shouldn't the industry reflect this? Speaking as an adult "harcore" male gamer, I don't enjoy or support games that dehumanize women. Even if you have no concern for the self-esteem of women, the male gaze placed in so many games is patronizing and distracting to the straight and bisexual men who care mostly about gameplay. It's also just embarrassing to play certain games around your partner, wife, sister, female friend, mother, or other women.

[quote name='Spokker']They complain about these things on tumblr but no one really listens.[/QUOTE]

http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2012/07/13/on-anita-sarkeesian-sexism-in-video-games-and-why-we-need-to-have-the-conversation-even-if-it-feeds-the-trolls/

http://www.gamasutra.com/view/news/173227/Opinion_Video_games_and_Male_Gaze__are_we_men_or_boys.php

http://www.themarysue.com/bioware-jennifer-hepler-announcement/

http://www.gamepolitics.com/2012/10/31/halo-4-developers-say-sexist-behavior-xbox-live-can-earn-you-lifetime-ban

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/111077-BioWare-Adding-Female-Shepard-to-Mass-Effect-3-Marketing
 
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Pretty sure this Borderlands 2 review from the Wall Street Journal is the worst video game article ever written.

http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2012/09/18/game-theory-borderlands-2-fails-to-cross-ove/

My favorite part is where he says that he had to go on Wikipedia so he could remember all of the "intricate twists and turns" of the Borderlands plot. I guess the fact that a game that had a nonexistent plot was too confusing for him explains a lot. And also this:

Borderlands 2’s single-player campaign mode isn’t as good as what you’ll find in games like COD: Black Ops or the Medal of Honor series.
Click to expand...
As a $30 impulse buy, priced about the same as games like “NASCAR Unleashed,” I wouldn’t have a problem recommending Borderlands 2 as a fun diversion. At twice that price, though, I think it’s fair for players to demand the whole magilla –
Click to expand...

At first it made me so angry that this guy gets paid to write this crap, and that there are undoubtably people out there that think he knows what he's talking about, but then I couldn't stop laughing at how out of touch he is with gaming. The best part of all is that the review has nearly 5000 comments from people ripping this idiot apart.
 
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