Engagement Rings Advice

GamerDude316

GamerDude316

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I've decided to propose to my gf of about 3 years and have started the ring-shopping process. I'd like to spend $2000 max and want a ring between 1/2 and 1 carat. My questions are...

1. Are big box stores (Kay, Zales, etc) decent places? I found a nice 5/8 carat ring at Zales for $1100 including their lifetime care plan and the diamond looks good but I still wonder if I can get a better deal.

2. Are there any good tips when visiting local jewelers to knock the price down a bit? I went to a couple this weekend and the prices were about the same as the bigger chain stores while the quality didn't impress me as much.

Any other tips and suggestions are welcome!
 
On the brightside, you're not spending a shitload of money like most people do. Everyone in my circle spent over $11k and topped off at $27k, so good for you.

1. No.

2. Haggling will be tough because this is a one time purchase and you're only spending $2k. You might get a couple hundred off, but it really depends on what it is.

My suggestion is to not get hung up on a diamond ring. There's a growing trend of people moving away from diamonds anyways. Personally, I would look into some estate jewelry or another stone. You'll get more bang for your buck that way.

edit: usickenme has great advice. Having a friend in the biz helps A LOT.
 
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I’ve “bought” 2 engagement rings in my life..

The first I was young and just went to a big box store.  The girl winded up saying “no” so, it worked out nicely as I was easily able to get my $$ back. I didn’t get very much ring for my money, though.

The second time I had a friend who knew a jeweler. I got a great deal and a decent sized rock for not too much. (It was about ½ price what a big box would’ve charged me).  It helped a lot that I had the cash with me. Never underestimate the power of cash. So I would say, ask your friends if they know anyone.  Ask people you know you are engaged (locally) where they got their ring.

The thing that helped the most is that I (eventually) married a women who isn't hung up on diamonds (or jewerly in general). Quite honestly, I wouldn't marry someone to demanded a high value wedding ring.

Oh and good luck. 

 
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I always love when this thread topic comes up being that it's posted on a site called Cheap Ass Gamer.

Dohdough 11K-27K. Damn dude. Baller guys in your circle.
 
DestroVega said:
I always love when this thread topic comes up being that it's posted on a site called Cheap Ass Gamer.

Dohdough 11K-27K. Damn dude. Baller guys in your circle.
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Hahaha...man, I probably find it more ridiculous than you do! :rofl:

That reminds me OP, just in case you were thinking this, forget about the 2-3 month salary thing. That's just an old line from an ad from De Beers to separate you from your hard-earned money.
 
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dohdough said:
My suggestion is to not get hung up on a diamond ring. There's a growing trend of people moving away from diamonds anyways. Personally, I would look into some estate jewelry or another stone. You'll get more bang for your buck that way.
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I'm a guy, so maybe I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, but I've never really liked diamonds. My grandparents were jewelers, and there was always hundreds of random gems laying around the house, so I got to check out quite a few stones. And for as far back as I can remember, I always thought diamonds were the least interesting of the bunch.
 
I struck out bigtime at a local jeweler.  One of the most recommended in the area but when I went they had 20 rings, 2 of which did not look horrible.  One was a .2 carat that they were asking $1500 for lol and the other was a decent 1 carat asking $5000.  Tomorrow I go to another couple places, hoping for better results.

 
DestroVega said:
I always love when this thread topic comes up being that it's posted on a site called Cheap Ass Gamer.

Dohdough 11K-27K. Damn dude. Baller guys in your circle.
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I suspect that Dohdough is fairly well off. Or maybe a little bit of family money. No judgements. Just a hunch.

Anyway, the whole 3 month salary when buying an engagement ring is complete horseshit created by the jewelry industry. But she doesn't know that or want to know that. So you better spend at least 2 months salary.

And that doesn't mean what you make flipping games at Best Buy.

If median income is 50k. That's 4k or so a month. That's $12k. Or a small car. Damn.

 
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I would not spend over 1000 dollars on an engagement ring.   Having a giant diamond on her finger is asking for trouble, either from a robber or damage to it by accident.  I paid for the warranty on both the band and engagement ring from Zales and it has been a pain in the ass since the first inspection.  You have to bring the rings AND paper work every 6 months for years and they have to sign off on it.  If there is a problem like a loose stone or something, they send it off up to two weeks or more since there is no jeweler in store.  Kinda weird to have no ring on my wife's finger for a few weeks when that happens. 

Kay's also does a shitty job with their cleaning.  I scratched by band on the payment when I had to get something stuck under my car and took it to them and they said that's an easy fix.  Waited two weeks and saw they did NOTHING to buff out the scratch and did a simple cleaning to it so I sent it out again for another 2 weeks and when it came back it looked ok but you could still see the scratch. 

They just don't care to give you top service since didn't buy it from that person and once they get the commission, they are done with you.

Just remember.... you  want to save up for the wedding/honeymoon so don't blow your money on that one ring.

 
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Confucius said:
I suspect that Dohdough is fairly well off. Or maybe a little bit of family money. No judgements. Just a hunch.
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Man, I wish. I just have really low living expenses, so I can spend money on stupid shit like my car and cellphones. Not anymore though. Luck has more to do with it than my gumption. I DO work at a non-profit that works with at-risk youth after all. :D

The people I know that spent that kind of scratch actually grew up in the projects on public assistance and worked themselves out of their circumstances. Irony is that the one friend that grew up loaded, like top .5% income if not higher, spent dick on his designer rings because his sister had a huge hook up through work. That's also where trying to find someone that knows someone in the biz will help the OP out.

Anyway, the whole 3 month salary when buying an engagement ring is complete horseshit created by the jewelry industry. But she doesn't know that or want to know that. So you better spend at least 2 months salary.

And that doesn't mean what you make flipping games at Best Buy.

If median income is 50k. That's 4k or so a month. That's $12k. Or a small car. Damn.
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Or a down payment on a place for those that don't want to put their money into a depreciating asset. But yeah, it's a crazy amount of money to spend on a shiny rock. The whole salary requirement thing being bullshit can't be stressed enough.

GamerDude316 said:
I struck out bigtime at a local jeweler. One of the most recommended in the area but when I went they had 20 rings, 2 of which did not look horrible. One was a .2 carat that they were asking $1500 for lol and the other was a decent 1 carat asking $5000. Tomorrow I go to another couple places, hoping for better results.
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What happened to ITDEFX is exactly why you shouldn't go to those big chain jewelers. His advice on not spending over $1k is a good one too...haha. On the off chance that the marriage doesn't work out, you'll get a fraction of what you paid for it back.
 
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Most people I know that work at non-profits have family money.   :)

Anyway, I think spending one month salary is legit.   It's not a complete sucker move and it says that you can save up money if you need to.

One thing I learned so far in life is that it's all about the hookups.   Not the "oh my buddy works at taco bell and gives me an extra helping of 'meat'" hookup but the "my friend is a rep at ____ so i got these great golf clubs at half off" type hookup.  Damn rich people.

 
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Confucius said:
Most people I know that work at non-profits have family money. :)

Anyway, I think spending one month salary is legit. It's not a complete sucker move and it says that you can save up money if you need to.

One thing I learned so far in life is that it's all about the hookups. Not the "oh my buddy works at taco bell and gives me an extra helping of 'meat'" hookup but the "my friend is a rep at ____ so i got these great golf clubs at half off" type hookup. Damn rich people.
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HAHAHA...love the quotes on "meat" :rofl:

I think it was Nick Nolte that said that when he was poor, everyone wanted him to pay full price for shit. Now that he's rich, people want to give him shit for free when he can now afford it. Life's funny/sad like that.

Enough OT-talk from me though. :)

OP, you should really try to check out some estate jewelry if you don't have any qualms about used jewelry. There are definitely bargains to be had there.
 
I dunno OP, have you thought about going to a pawn shop?  You might get lucky and find something within your budget that would cost 10 times more elsewhere.   However I dunno if you have this idea that some of the engagement rings could have been from a couple that broke it off or got divorced or something....as bad luck...

 
ITDEFX said:
I dunno OP, have you thought about going to a pawn shop? You might get lucky and find something within your budget that would cost 10 times more elsewhere. However I dunno if you have this idea that some of the engagement rings could have been from a couple that broke it off or got divorced or something....as bad luck...
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The problem I have with that is, unless the OP knows a lot about diamonds, he might get ripped off. At least with a big box retailer, or maybe blue nile, he won't be buying a cubic zirconia.

 
yeah, the problem I have with pawn shops is that in my area at least they are not good.  Both my girlfriend and my mother have bought jewelry from them in the past and it has been poor quality and they have AWFUL return/repair policies.  I'd prefer to not have the engagement ring encounter a similar situation.

dohdough, I WISH I had a hookup around here haha.  But sadly my jewelry connections in town are practically non-existent.

 
I've seen rings that are $1,000 and under. That's a sad situation for real.

I'm not saying go crazy, but you need to spend at least $2,500 at a place that hooks it up. My wife's ring looks like it cost $14,000 and it's no where close to what I spent. I just found a place that cuts insane deals and even found out from my friend they buy stolen diamonds from local guys which is why the prices are cheaper. I didn't know that before I bought so whatever.

My only advice is do research and don't embarrass your chick if she cares.
 
Definitely avoid the chain stores.  They are only out to make money (well, all businesses are, but you know what I mean).  They give no regard to the quality of their service or merchandise.  A couple weeks ago I risked buying a pair of simple gold earrings from Kay because they were on sale.  The sales lady slyly avoided letting me see the price tags on anything and barely let me get a close look (big red flag, but I was trying to be polite and figured I couldn't be ripped off too badly without even buying gemstones).  When I got home and went to try them on, I realized there was a big dent in the bottom of one of the hoops.  

Also, speaking from a style perspective, I hate the way that almost all the jewelry in big name stores is generic and mass produced.  Might just be me, but the giant rock sticking out of a gold band is not something I consider fashionable.  I know a few local jewelers in my area are well-known for making completely customized engagement rings (or so their radio commercials say).  Not sure how expensive it is, but it might be something to look into if you're leaning toward non-brand name stores anyway.  Also places like swap meets if you think you know enough about jewelry (or know someone who does that you can bring along) to haggle without getting ripped off.

On that last point, and sorry if this may stray a bit from the type of advice you were looking for here, if she has some close female friends who can keep their mouths shut (assuming you want to surprise her), I would ask them for input on style/location.  It's not uncommon for women (even completely non-girly ones like me) to window shop for engagement rings when the opportunity presents itself, and they might know of any specific brands/designs/whatever that she has shown interest in.  Could help give you a more specific place to start.  

As for how much you spend, I agree with everyone else.  The price tag shouldn't matter to her.  A $10 bazillion dollar ring might show that you're willing to spoil her, but personally I'd much prefer a partner who appreciates good money managing. 

 
Going with a local jeweler is generally the way to go IF you know your not going to be moving and that they'll probably be around a long time (i.e. it isn't a one person shop with a 75 year old jeweler).

My fiance and I wanted to go that route, but couldn't find anything we liked at local places.  We finally saw a ring we loved at Zales and ended up going that route.  We'll likely move several times (for careers and just wanting to live different places--which our careers are amenable to and that we're not having kids allows), so going with a chain place at least allows us to get the warranty service wherever we end up.  It is a hassle to get the six month cleanings, but she likes getting her rings cleaned at least that often anyway so she doesn't mind.

Also agree that the 2-3 month salary is absurd.  I spent around $3k on the one we went with (including the $200 whatever for the lifetime warranty).  A little more than I wanted to spend, and way more than she was wanting to spend on a ring, but we both love it and it's like half my monthly salary before tax so I think I made out alright.  I'd have rather supported a local jeweler, but it just didn't work out and I do like having the easy warranty access wherever we end up.

 
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I went to another jeweler near my work on my lunch break today and again struck out. They do some nice custom work but price seemed well above their quality level...
 
It always best to know someone is the jewelery business. Ask around maybe family, friends or coworkers can give you someone's name or number. A friend of the family works in the jewelery district around here and he helped my brother-in-law when he was getting my sister a ring.

On a personal note - I hate engagement rings. Pressured into buying an overpriced shiny rock that is often mined by people treated like slaves by warlords. When it gets to the point when I'm supposed to do it, I'm not sure if I will have the stomach to. There is just so much more I'd rather put my money toward. If I'm going to spend it on something nonessential I'd like to at least make it some crazy month or two long over the top crazy honeymoon vacation.

 
If you are considering going the big box store route I would recommend Costco. Personally, I went with a local jeweler (family friend) when it came to the engagement ring and wedding band since I wanted to make sure I got to pick my diamond but if you have a budget in mind and don't want the headache of choosing your own diamond Costco is a very good option. I bought the wife diamond earnings from there and she was really impressed... as was my buddy who's a jeweler. 

 
Oh yeah....best advice ever............DO NOT TAKE HER TO LOOK AT RINGS! 

1. That will spoil the surprise and 2. It will hurt your wallet even more.  

 
ITDEFX said:
Oh yeah....best advice ever............DO NOT TAKE HER TO LOOK AT RINGS!

1. That will spoil the surprise and 2. It will hurt your wallet even more.
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That varies like anything of course though. My fiance hates surprises, and is far cheaper than I (still in school so she makes a lot less than I do/have, so very different spending habits) so looking for a ring together was a nice experience and I spent less than I planned (but more than she wanted!). :D

Neither of us are really into tradition and the whole proposal thing etc. We won't have any formal wedding either, just some kind of informal ceremony/reception/gathering to slightly appease family.

 
Yeah, I took my gf a few years ago when a local chain was closing and the most expensive one we liked was $1400 for a solid quality rock on a nice band. Having small hands help...haha.

What we should've been looking at were the watches that they were blowing out. Brand new Rolex, Breitling, IWC, and Omega at 30% off? Those types of discounts are Very hard to come by without knowing someone.

But anywho, it really depends on they type of girl it is. Some are super into it and some aren't. All my friends tell me I'm lucky and I tell them that I know. On the otherhand, my family is still holding out for a wedding. :rofl:
 
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Confucius said:
Unfortunately it's not really your desires that matter.
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Oh it is always my desires that matter lol

In all seriousness, my gf is for the most part levelheaded when it comes to that kind of stuff. Not like some of my friends who are crazy about every single brand name pocketbook, boot, etc.

I think she would go along with the big vacation thing, down payment on house, etc.

She knew what she was getting into with me anyways. I'll spend big but only on certain things. We can travel around Asia and the Middle East, but when we get home we will be cruising around in my 15 year old Camry.

 
Then again, you can get some really hi-end stuff for bargain basement prices there too! Unfortunately, it's not good for snob appeal though.

So OP, Costco might actually be worth a try. Seriously.
 
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My recommendation would be don't get married because it serves no real purpose in today's society...

..but you are going to anyway so I'd say save up a bit longer and get something better. When I was graduating college some years ago several of my buddies were buying engagement rings around that range and they all looked like shit and I can tell you before they got divorced they didn't look any better. 

 
Had a solid day today...

I went to a moderate sized jeweler that can do a custom ring with a very nice 5/8 carat diamond for around $1,800 altogether.  The jeweler said the diamond itself was $1,150 and it would cost $650 to have it mounted.  I thought that seemed a little high so I said I would get back to him in a day or two.  Does that sound like a decent price?

Then I went to Zales(had to go to a BB in the same mall anyway) and found this one, $1100 with their lifetime care plan or whatever.  http://www.zales.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11129701  I actually like it so really contempating that one.  I dont know anybody personally whos had bad experiences with Zales but welcome any CAG comments.

 
Glad to hear you had a more productive day. The only question I have, and it's an important one, is whether or not she'd like it. Who cares what you think! ;)
 
kill3r7 said:
Yep I'm sure if you showed up with this ring she would send you packing.
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Link is borked homie. Lemme help you with that. :)

Hmmm...or not. CAG seems to be messing up the hyperlink code.

Anyways, it's a 2.10 carat with a Round Brilliant cut, flawless E-color, on a platinum band in the same style that the OP likes for $39k. Yes, $39,000...no extra zeros...from Costco.
 
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dohdough said:
Link is borked homie. Lemme help you with that. :)

Hmmm...or not. CAG seems to be messing up the hyperlink code.

Anyways, it's a 2.10 carat with a Round Brilliant cut, flawless E-color, on a platinum band in the same style that the OP likes for $39k. Yes, $39,000...no extra zeros...from Costco.
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Thx for the help.

It was joke in response to confuscius but you catch my drift. Costco has some high end jewelry (such as the ring referenced above). You would pay about double that from Tiffany's or Cartier for a similar product. They do have a pretty good selection of rings for under $3K. That said, if the OP doesn't want to go the internet route he should try local jewelers.

 
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dohdough said:
OP, you should really try to check out some estate jewelry if you don't have any qualms about used jewelry. There are definitely bargains to be had there.
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That's what I did. Worked out well because the Mrs and I were having a little bit of a cold war over the topic. I disliked the commercially created mythology of the diamond engagement ring and she wanted a diamond ring. Buying from an estate sale got me a good price and didn't put any new cash into DeBeers' pockets. We didn't go out looking for a ring though, just a bit of kismet that they had one that she liked and I was able to buy it when her attention was elsewhere.

 
kill3r7 said:
Thx for the help.

It was joke in response to confuscius but you catch my drift. Costco has some high end jewelry (such as the ring referenced above). You would pay about double that from Tiffany's or Cartier for a similar product. They do have a pretty good selection of rings for under $3K. That said, if the OP doesn't want to go the internet route he should try local jewelers.
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Haha...yeah, totally got it. I wasn't much help though. CAG is cutting off half of the url, so it's getting an error on Costco.com. I think he was jokingly knocking on Costco anyways.
 
I don't think he was knocking on Costco as much as how many women are picky about where there ring is from, how much it cost etc.--so even if she's not, her friends may be when they ask where he bought it from.

Personally, I hate materialistic nonsense like that, so I wouldn't want to date (much less marry) someone who was like that, or paid any attention to friends saying shit like that.

 
dmaul1114 said:
I don't think he was knocking on Costco as much as how many women are picky about where there ring is from, how much it cost etc.--so even if she's not, her friends may be when they ask where he bought it from.

Personally, I hate materialistic nonsense like that, so I wouldn't want to date (much less marry) someone who was like that, or paid any attention to friends saying shit like that.
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Exactly. The whole diamond engagement ring is silly. I think I read somewhere that emeralds are actually more rare. But my point is that cachet matters when it comes to silly things.

Ask ten women whether they'd like a 10k ring from Tiffany's or a 20k ring from Costco. See what they say.
 
Confucius said:
Exactly. The whole diamond engagement ring is silly. I think I read somewhere that emeralds are actually more rare. But my point is that cachet matters when it comes to silly things.

Ask ten women whether they'd like a 10k ring from Tiffany's or a 20k ring from Costco. See what they say.
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Tiffany's no doubt. You bring up a very good point. Perception is 9/10 of the equation. My buddies wife is still insecure to this day because she's the only one in the group with a ring of less than 1.5ctw mind you that she has a nearly flawless diamond.

 
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kill3r7 said:
Tiffany's no doubt. You bring up a very good point. Perception is 9/10 of the equation. My buddies wife is still insecure to this day because she's the only one in the group with a ring of less than 1.5ctw mind you that she has a nearly flawless diamond.
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LOLZ...they must have HUGE hands. :lol:

A 1 carat rock would look like a Ring Pop on me...I have small hands though. :rofl:
 
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dohdough said:
LOLZ...they must have HUGE hands. :lol:

A 1 carat rock would look like a Ring Pop on me...I have small hands though. :rofl:
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LOL. Oh some of these rings are utterly ridiculous. One of my good friends got his wife a 2.3ctw ring. Let's just say she wears it very gracefully but that thing is the size of a ring pop. To this day I've yet to ask him how much it cost.

 
NEVER GO TO PLACES LIKE ZALES, ROBBINS BROS, or TIFFANYS any of those places in the mall.

Depends on where you live, but in Los Angeles the Jewler district has some people who will make rings for you for much cheaper.

My wife had her ring custom made and we bought the stone online. Yelp is a good source to find a jewler

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Either way, it never ceases to amaze me how stupid women get over a piece of rock that is artificially inflated in price. Years and years of social brainwashing bullshit. But at the end, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet.

 
My advice works if your fiancee is not a big spender on herself:

I proposed to mine with a "dummy" ring. The caveat was that I was going to take her to the jeweler so she could shop for her own ring. The idea is that she gets to buy what she really wants while I still get to do the whole ring proposal. Not having the original ring at the time of proposal isn't what she'll remember anyway.

My wife doesn't shop a lot for herself (thank God). She does what I consider a normal amount of shopping so I wasn't too concerned about her going all crazy. I've been told to avoid the mall jewelers too so I went to a local chain which has 4 stores only. When we went, I told her my intention wasn't to give her a budget so much as I wanted her to find a ring that she was ultimately happy with so it was cool with me to go above the quality of stuff she's accustomed to getting herself (basically it's okay to splurge a little). Of course, the $10K rings are nice but to her they were just too gaudy for her taste anyway. We ended up getting a ring that I think was about $2,500 for the engagement and wedding mounted ring set altogether. It was higher than I had anticipated her picking out but she was really happy about it.

Personally, I think a $1K stretch above your budget for a long term investment is worth it. My wife's ring looks really nice (if I'm going to toot my horn here for just a second) and is a constant reminder to me when other women compliment her on her ring which brings a big smile to her face everytime. I've learned that women have similar tastes in quality when it comes to rings and fashion. Totally different than guys. Looking back at what my wife has, no chance I would have figured out my wife's ideal ring. Not a chance in hell. Not sure what your financial situation is, but the dummy ring idea also buys you more time to save up for the engagement/wedding ring. You avoid the whole proposal doomsday clock while giving yourself more time to save money and set it aside.

I know the topic is about engagement ring advice, but the more important decision is making sure she's "the one". The ring is secondary.
 
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