Pretty tragic for Shawn Kemp http://www.sportspickle.com/features/volume1/04172002-kemp.html
Kemp Accidentally Has Sex with Same Woman
Portland Trailblazers forward Shawn Kemp made a drastic error last evening when he accidentally had sex with a woman he has already had sex with. Kemp, who has fathered --seven children out of wedlock by several different women, learned of his mistake mid-coitus.
“I picked the girl up at a club after our game last night,” Kemp said. “I thought she looked familiar, but I’ve been with a lot of women and they all pretty much look the same to me now.”
It turns out the woman was a groupie Kemp had sex with nearly three years ago in Detroit.
“I have a strict policy of only having sex with a woman one time,” Kemp said. “Anything more than that and it just gets weird. I don’t want them to think I want a relationship or anything. I’m happy to give them a child, but don’t be calling me.”
The woman, Rhonda Mitchell, said Kemp became incensed when she let it slip during their sex that it was “just like last time.”
“He got all angry and said that as soon as he was finished he was going to leave,” Mitchell said. “He told me he wouldn’t even leave any memorabilia behind.”
Mitchell explained that Kemp’s “memorabilia” is not sports memorabilia, but a selection of un-opened condom wrappers in various colors, all with Kemp’s signature. “They’ve kind of become a collector’s item,” Mitchell said. “You can find thousands of un-used, Shawn Kemp-signature condoms on Ebay.”
Steve Peters, owner of SP’s Sports Collectibles in Portland said Kemp’s signed, un-used condoms are one of his most popular items. “We sell a lot of them,” Peters said. “It seems like as soon as we sell out of them, a whole new batch comes in. They don’t go for much money though, because the market is glutted with them.”
Peters said what he’s waiting for is the rarest of all Kemp collectibles: a used Kemp condom. “That would blow the lid off the market,” he said. “But as far as I know there has yet to be one in existence.”
Kemp said his mistake of last night has caused him to mend his ways. “I’m going to start fingerprinting these hoes so this doesn’t happen again. And from now on I’m not even taking condoms with me when I go out.”
Kemp Accidentally Has Sex with Same Woman
Portland Trailblazers forward Shawn Kemp made a drastic error last evening when he accidentally had sex with a woman he has already had sex with. Kemp, who has fathered --seven children out of wedlock by several different women, learned of his mistake mid-coitus.
“I picked the girl up at a club after our game last night,” Kemp said. “I thought she looked familiar, but I’ve been with a lot of women and they all pretty much look the same to me now.”
It turns out the woman was a groupie Kemp had sex with nearly three years ago in Detroit.
“I have a strict policy of only having sex with a woman one time,” Kemp said. “Anything more than that and it just gets weird. I don’t want them to think I want a relationship or anything. I’m happy to give them a child, but don’t be calling me.”
The woman, Rhonda Mitchell, said Kemp became incensed when she let it slip during their sex that it was “just like last time.”
“He got all angry and said that as soon as he was finished he was going to leave,” Mitchell said. “He told me he wouldn’t even leave any memorabilia behind.”
Mitchell explained that Kemp’s “memorabilia” is not sports memorabilia, but a selection of un-opened condom wrappers in various colors, all with Kemp’s signature. “They’ve kind of become a collector’s item,” Mitchell said. “You can find thousands of un-used, Shawn Kemp-signature condoms on Ebay.”
Steve Peters, owner of SP’s Sports Collectibles in Portland said Kemp’s signed, un-used condoms are one of his most popular items. “We sell a lot of them,” Peters said. “It seems like as soon as we sell out of them, a whole new batch comes in. They don’t go for much money though, because the market is glutted with them.”
Peters said what he’s waiting for is the rarest of all Kemp collectibles: a used Kemp condom. “That would blow the lid off the market,” he said. “But as far as I know there has yet to be one in existence.”
Kemp said his mistake of last night has caused him to mend his ways. “I’m going to start fingerprinting these hoes so this doesn’t happen again. And from now on I’m not even taking condoms with me when I go out.”
