Anyone else feel like the only people that love you are family members?

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help1

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I appreciate being loved by my family, but sometimes it would be nice to know that people who aren't obliged to look after my well being have something invested in me.

I guess that is why I want a girlfriend. Guys tend to keep to themselves too much, and showing affection for a friend as a guy is, well, weird. I don't want a girlfriend just to get laid or anything. I'd just like having long, deep, meaningful conversations with someone, and have the thought of me go through their head every so often like "hmm, I wonder how help1 is doing... or what is he doing tonight? I really appreciate the time I spend with him... etc, etc."

Is this weird?
 
1) A girlfriend won't necessarily solve that. It can't hurt to try but it's not a foregone conclusion.

2) I wouldn't call any of this abnormal.

3) We all love you here, help1. I kill anyone who says otherwise.
 
[quote name='help1']
I guess that is why I want a girlfriend. Guys tend to keep to themselves too much, and showing affection for a friend as a guy is, well, weird. I don't want a girlfriend just to get laid or anything. I'd just like having long, deep, meaningful conversations with someone, and have the thought of me go through their head every so often like "hmm, I wonder how help1 is doing... or what is he doing tonight? I really appreciate the time I spend with him... etc, etc."

Is this weird?[/QUOTE]

It's not weird. I'm in the same boat. Except my family doesn't give a shit about me, and I only ever had shitty self-centered friends. To top it off, I finally got my own house to live in all alone with nobody to talk to. And it has low ceilings, so I can't adequately hang myself.
 
[quote name='Strell']1) A girlfriend won't necessarily solve that. It can't hurt to try but it's not a foregone conclusion.

2) I wouldn't call any of this abnormal.

3) We all love you here, help1. I kill anyone who says otherwise.[/QUOTE]


lol #3, strell you're aesome
 
[quote name='crunchb3rry']It's not weird. I'm in the same boat. Except my family doesn't give a shit about me, and I only ever had shitty self-centered friends. To top it off, I finally got my own house to live in all alone with nobody to talk to. And it has low ceilings, so I can't adequately hang myself.[/QUOTE]

Sure you can. Just drag a chainsaw across those knees and make the 'jump.' You will leave behind an exquisite corpse.
 
My immediate family, my mother, father and sister, are the only people I know love me unconditionally.

Ninety percent of my extended family is a motley crew of drug dealers, drug users, shysters, absent fathers, single mothers, social parasites and ne'er-do-wells. If they call me for anything it would be a handout and not out of love.

As for women, good luck. For all the shit women say about finding good men, it works in the other direction as well. I don't worry about finding one anymore because the few good women here are taken, but you might find that diamond in the rough.
 
[quote name='Strell']1) A girlfriend won't necessarily solve that. It can't hurt to try but it's not a foregone conclusion.

2) I wouldn't call any of this abnormal.

3) We all love you here, help1. I kill anyone who says otherwise.[/QUOTE]

Hahahah, I love number 3. :)
 
Not really. Family comes first, but I have some really great friends and my girlfriend. Unfortunately both family and friends are all pretty far away though since I moved for work.
 
forever-alone-face.png
 
My dad once taught me something along these lines "family first, then country, then the world". It was a general statement, but I always put my family first before everyone else. My immediate family that is..

Also, I'm indonesian.. We tight, inside and out *nudges*
 
My suggestion is to go out and try to find a girlfriend. It beats the hell out of sitting here and complaining ;). Yes I know it's not easy but trust me it's worth it in the long run. You will become way happier.
 
I can't relate to you at all help1. I've always been really popular and people just can't seem to get enough of me. I actually have to choose which friends' calls to return just because I don't have the time or energy to hang out with all those people who want to hang out with me.

I think maybe you just suck, are ugly, or really annoying or something.
 
[quote name='pittpizza']I can't relate to you at all help1. I've always been really popular and people just can't seem to get enough of me. I actually have to choose which friends' calls to return just because I don't have the time or energy to hang out with all those people who want to hang out with me.

I think maybe you just suck, are ugly, or really annoying or something.[/QUOTE]

Damn you must bang a lot of chicks. No wonder a lot of eggs were recalled from stores recently.
 
[quote name='SpazX']Most of my friends are women. It seems better that way.[/QUOTE]

^ This.
Though I'm still waiting on finding the one, at least I can talk about anything and everything to my bff. =)
 
I guess it's normal to think that sometimes we feel like the only people that love us are our family members. There are days for me as well when I feel betrayed by other people and the only people I can turn to and are consistent to be there is my family. So you're not alone. If you feel like you need to find a gf, go for it. Make more friends? Go ahead. Guess that's the only way for you to find out if it can really fill in the void. And I go for Strell's #3 as well. lol :D
 
I know that my family members are the only people in the world that love me.

The voices in my head though - they keep me plenty of company. I'm not even fucking kidding either.
 
[quote name='giantqtipz']Damn you must bang a lot of chicks. No wonder a lot of eggs were recalled from stores recently.[/QUOTE]


:applause::applause::applause::applause::applause::applause::applause::applause:

LMAO.
 
There's actually very few people I would say that I love. The two that I love the most are my wife and my dad. I love my mom and I love my siblings, but as for the rest of my family, I really can't distinguish whether it's love or just a general caring and concern for their well being above some random person I don't know.
 
[quote name='giantqtipz']My dad once taught me something along these lines "family first, then country, then the world". It was a general statement, but I always put my family first before everyone else. My immediate family that is..

Also, I'm indonesian.. We tight, inside and out *nudges*[/QUOTE]

I've heard a similar phrase:

God first, family second, then work
 
I never felt "unloved" until I got married. It wasn't family love that got me by... it was my insatiable desire (ahem... love) for poon. Surprised I never caught some horrid STD... or knocked some random broad up.
 
[quote name='bkjohns1']I've heard a similar phrase:

God first, family second, then work[/QUOTE]
Sounds very russian, especially the work part... Or perhaps communistic
 
[quote name='musha666']Have your friend that lives close to you Buy a puppy. Then go over frequently.[/QUOTE]

Fixed.

I've had a dog in my childhood and while having one was nice it was also a pain. My best friend whole just got a 10 wk old puppy that lives close to me. It's been fun because I don't have to deal with the "bad" part of owning a puppy. lol
 
Basically you want a girlfriend. Yeah, I'd like one too because I don't expect anybody else to care for me as much as your example "I wonder what X is doing right now" unless they were extremely bored.
 
Learn to love yourself - the rest you can't control.

Be thankful to have family that love you and care about your well-being. It's something not to be taken for granted - I'm fortunate to say that I have a family that loves and cares about me - most of my friends don't and it's shitty for them - something to never take for granted is the love of family.

As far as a girlfriend.....I was always lucky to have girls around that were interested in dating and such......however, I didn't find the best one until I quit looking.....therefore, my advice is spend some time on you - hit the gym, read books, eat healthier......you'd be surprised what happens when you stop looking for love. It finds you.

Peace,
 
My Dad loves me. My mom isn't very affectionate at all. I don't have brothers or sisters. No g/f. My Aunt loved me, but she's been dead for 2 years.

My friends never call me - I have to call them. Sometimes they facebook me. But they're that way with all their friends.
 
[quote name='pittpizza']I can't relate to you at all help1. I've always been really popular and people just can't seem to get enough of me. I actually have to choose which friends' calls to return just because I don't have the time or energy to hang out with all those people who want to hang out with me.

I think maybe you just suck, are ugly, or really annoying or something.[/QUOTE]

This is exactly what a guy who isn't popular, has no friends, and vigorously masterbates to 80's porn would say.... just saying.

You sound like Billy Madison. You were the king of High School!
 
I wasn't popular in HS, but had a couple of friends. That was before there was a "gamer" click.

I would suppose gamers are a click in HS now.
 
[quote name='GuilewasNK']My immediate family, my mother, father and sister, are the only people I know love me unconditionally.

Ninety percent of my extended family is a motley crew of drug dealers, drug users, shysters, absent fathers, single mothers, social parasites and ne'er-do-wells. If they call me for anything it would be a handout and not out of love.

As for women, good luck. For all the shit women say about finding good men, it works in the other direction as well. I don't worry about finding one anymore because the few good women here are taken, but you might find that diamond in the rough.[/QUOTE]


kinda of the same boat for me i only consider my mom , dad and sibling my real family. my extended family is really damn shady i figured that out over 10 years ago and pretty much wrote them all off for it. that to me sucks because i know people who have these great caring grandparents and what not and i envied that they had that.

both my grandmothers are more or less bitches they plat favorites and dont hide that they do. one in particular loves to be nice to you in your face then she rips you apart when youre not around but thats kind of who that whole side of the family operates.

i think damn near everyone wants to be loved and it can happen if you let it but dont expect it to be perfect. theres no such thing in any relationship as perfect they all take work , sacrifice, compromise and communication and honesty. if you cant do all of those things then dont bother.
 
This doesn't apply to everyone. I know my dad didn't had a great relationship with his brothers or his dad.
 
Other than my mom and two brothers, and most of the time my dad, I have friends that I'm closer with than any of my immediate family. I barely have any love for my mom's parent's and I don't know my dad's parents.
 
Family is what you make it.

Extended family can suck. Immediate family can suck. Or it could be the other way around.

By blood or by law they have no obligation to love you, and you have no obligation to love them. Your family that loves you could very well be a group other than what is commonly known as "family." Just appreciate those who actually love you, whether its a small immediate family or a large extended family.

But there's nothing more annoying than someone telling someone else they should reconnect with a third person "because they're family."

As for the OP, learn to love yourself first like some poster above me said, otherwise you're just going to fuck up any relationships you get into.
 
I've met a ton of people who don't get along with their own parents, and I think that's just sad. If you can't love/get along with the people who had you and raised you, it seems like it'd be impossible to have any kind of real relationship with anybody. These are the people that are supposed to teach you social skills to get along with everybody else in the world.

On the other hand, some people just have asshole/alcoholic parents, so it isn't their fault.

But I think by the time you're in your mid-late 20s, you should get over it, and bury the hatchet. I can see not getting along with your parents in your teens, but that's really sad if you can never find common ground with your parents.
 
[quote name='2DMention']I've met a ton of people who don't get along with their own parents, and I think that's just sad. If you can't love/get along with the people who had you and raised you, it seems like it'd be impossible to have any kind of real relationship with anybody. These are the people that are supposed to teach you social skills to get along with everybody else in the world.

On the other hand, some people just have asshole/alcoholic parents, so it isn't their fault.

But I think by the time you're in your mid-late 20s, you should get over it, and bury the hatchet. I can see not getting along with your parents in your teens, but that's really sad if you can never find common ground with your parents.[/QUOTE]

Why though? Why can't you just move on and live your life without them? What if your dad was an alcoholic who beat you and your mom was too busy screwing other dudes rather than raising you with no remorse? If you survive a situation like that and get out with your head on semi-straight, I say fuck it, why look back and give people like that the time of day? Why bury the hatchet with them? I'm not saying you have to hold a grudge against them for eternity but I see zero reason to keep truly shitty parents a part of your life. Make peace with the situation internally and move on with your life with people who love you and are good influences.
 
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