Are you two together?

eldergamer

eldergamer

CAGiversary!
After 10 years of marriage and 15 years of being with the same woman I'm still surprised to hear this from cashier and check-out people.

I'm white, my wife is black. And it seems that whenever we go to a fast food place and I'm standing beside her, she'll be ordering and another cashier will ask "Are you two together?"

Granted we're not in the early lovey-dovey stage where we're holding hands or draped all over each other any more, but come on. It's even more surprising when I'm holding a light skinned frizzy haired kid. Where do you think they come from?

It's going to happen for the rest of my life too because you never see the same person working there twice in a row when you go to McDonalds once a month.

I wonder if this happens to homosexual couples as well? Or other interracial couples?
 
I know this happens a great bit down here in the South. Certain people automatically look towards a mixed couple with disgust. It amazes me that in 2010, a good number of people still act that way.
 
[quote name='eldergamer']It's even more surprising when I'm holding a light skinned frizzy haired kid. Where do you think they come from?
[/QUOTE]

To be fair, I am light-skinned and frizzy-haired and I'm Italian. ;)

Also, people are bigoted douchebags. End of story.
 
I don't really attribute it to racism or bigotry. (Maybe I'm just naive). I think the cashiers just want to help this guy who looks like he's by himself and don't bother to think "Hmm, maybe black people and white people can be together?"
 
Say what you will, but no matter how socially acceptable it is, it still doesn't happen very often, at least around me it doesn't. I'll be lucky if I see 1 interracial couple out of 100. Don't ask me why, that's just how it is around here (north of Chicago). But I don't think I would worry about fast food joints too much. They honestly probably do that to a lot of couples, just to make sure that they're not leaving anybody unserved.

But hey, if worse comes to worst, you could always get matching T-shirts that point at each other and say "I'm with him/her". :lol:
 
If it's just cashiers, there's probably no malice behind it... we need to try and figure out if you're making seperate purchases so another cashier can help you. And it doesn't always matter if the people are obviously friends/married/etc- all we need to know is, are you shopping together? Since it's not uncommon for couples to make seperate purchases to distinquish between school and home, or take advantage of extra coupons, or keep expenses evenly spread across the family's accounts.

If it really bothers you, might as well have some fun with it... when they ask, 'are you together?', say 'no, but I'm hoping if I buy her food I can get lucky'. or 'I'm not sure', then ask your wife 'who are you again?' Or something like that. It'll either be funny or confusing for the cashier- good for you both ways.
 
eldergamer, you're not being naive, some others here are just jumping to the worst possible conclusion. It's strictly a numbers game, interracial couples are a very small percentage of couples. I've dated women of different ethnicities and we would sometimes get double takes and longer looks. I don't think it's a big deal at all, it's just a situation where people are seeing something different. I liken it to when you see a Ferrari. It's so unique and luxurious that you want to take a few more seconds to take it in. :)

EDIT: Good ideas, DuelLadyS. :lol:
 
[quote name='DuelLadyS']If it's just cashiers, there's probably no malice behind it... we need to try and figure out if you're making seperate purchases so another cashier can help you. And it doesn't always matter if the people are obviously friends/married/etc- all we need to know is, are you shopping together? Since it's not uncommon for couples to make seperate purchases to distinquish between school and home, or take advantage of extra coupons, or keep expenses evenly spread across the family's accounts.

If it really bothers you, might as well have some fun with it... when they ask, 'are you together?', say 'no, but I'm hoping if I buy her food I can get lucky'. or 'I'm not sure', then ask your wife 'who are you again?' Or something like that. It'll either be funny or confusing for the cashier- good for you both ways.[/QUOTE]

I should try this, seems funny as hell

I dated a white guy in Tenn and we got the look a lot, being gay or mixed whatever the reason
They called him my dad or brother
I always loved correcting them and getting that suprised look and laugh
Im mixed, half black and white

one thing i hated bout the south
 
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sorry man cant help but to laugh. youre just going to have to deal with it because i think its less common to see a white guy with a black chick than vice versa. of course next time they ask you can always just shoot them a smartass comment or get real loud and embarass them for asking.
 
[quote name='eldergamer']
I wonder if this happens to homosexual couples as well? Or other interracial couples?[/QUOTE]

I would think it would be too awkward for a burger flipper to imply two dudes are gay and be incorrect. "Would you guys like two straws with that shake?"
 
My first reaction is that you're projecting. I'm white (looking) and so is my fiancee, we've been together for almost six years now, and we get that question all the time.
 
My wife and I haven't had to deal with it. She is filipina and I'm white. We still hold hands in public so we're too obvious, I guess.
 
Um, DuelLadyS is right. Even if you're making it obvious you're married or whatever, the cashier has to know if your two orders are going to be paid together or separately. You have to realize how many people a cashier can go through in a day, different variations of people paying different ways. Some ladies would get offended if the cashier assumes the man is paying for everything.
 
[quote name='eldergamer']After 10 years of marriage and 15 years of being with the same woman I'm still surprised to hear this from cashier and check-out people.

I'm white, my wife is black. And it seems that whenever we go to a fast food place and I'm standing beside her, she'll be ordering and another cashier will ask "Are you two together?"

Granted we're not in the early lovey-dovey stage where we're holding hands or draped all over each other any more, but come on. It's even more surprising when I'm holding a light skinned frizzy haired kid. Where do you think they come from?

It's going to happen for the rest of my life too because you never see the same person working there twice in a row when you go to McDonalds once a month.

I wonder if this happens to homosexual couples as well? Or other interracial couples?[/QUOTE]

I don't think there is any malice most of the time. I am the product of an interracial marriage myself so I have seen this first hand as well.

Next time someone asks you that, have some fun with it. They ask, you turn to your wife, you both give a nice kiss on the lips to each other, then say to the cashier "never seen her before in my life".
 
Newsflash: Everything that happens to you does not happen because you date a black girl. Cashiers ask white couples the same thing. If you have a racist attitude (as you seem to have) then thats all you will see in other people, even when it doesnt actually exist (which is most of the time).

Instead of worrying about whether or not you should be offended by something so stupid, you should just enjoy your life and worry about more important matters. It will make your life a lot happier in the long run.
 
[quote name='musha666']Newsflash: Everything that happens to you does not happen because you date a black girl. Cashiers ask white couples the same thing. If you have a racist attitude (as you seem to have) then thats all you will see in other people, even when it doesnt actually exist (which is most of the time).

[/QUOTE]

I really don't see how you got that out of eldergamer's comments. It doesn't make sense. He didn't say what race the cashiers were.
 
[quote name='yesiamaplant']My first reaction is that you're projecting.[/QUOTE]

This...

[quote name='Indecisive Rattle']Um, DuelLadyS is right. Even if you're making it obvious you're married or whatever, the cashier has to know if your two orders are going to be paid together or separately. You have to realize how many people a cashier can go through in a day, different variations of people paying different ways. Some ladies would get offended if the cashier assumes the man is paying for everything.[/QUOTE]

... and this. I think it's pretty safe to assume that the majority of the time you're being asked, there's no intention behind it other than the cashier asking as if they would ask any other pair/group of people who place orders. Granted there are still a ton of ignorant ass people out there who have no hesitation to display it, but that's probably the case as often as you think.

*insert joke involving Kid Rock song*
 
[quote name='eldergamer']
I wonder if this happens to homosexual couples as well? [/QUOTE]

Yes. And not just cashiers. The last time was at a holiday party a couple of weeks ago, when a woman asked "And how do you know each other?" "We're married."

I don't think too much about it. For every "Are you two together?" I want to answer with "Well, duh, what do you think with us standing next to each other and ordering at the same time?" I think that they get all kinds of weird people who do stupid-ass things (like make a huge order and then ask for separate checks). They're just trying to do their job without assuming too much.

[quote name='musha666']Newsflash: Everything that happens to you does not happen because you date a black girl. Cashiers ask white couples the same thing. If you have a racist attitude (as you seem to have) then thats all you will see in other people, even when it doesnt actually exist (which is most of the time).[/QUOTE]

I don't believe it's a "racist attitude" to note when peoples' reactions to you and your significant other are outside the norm because it does happen. When you're part of a couple that is outside the majority, people will do double-takes, stare, and visibly attempt to "figure you out".

I'll never forget this one time we were in a restaurant when a woman had a very noticeable Sherlock Holmes moment when it dawned on her (after about ten minutes of not-very-well-concealed stares, whispers, and puzzled looks) that we were indeed a gay couple with a kid. I wanted to give her a sticker.

[quote name='musha666']http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=7951573
Instead of worrying about whether or not you should be offended by something so stupid, you should just enjoy your life and worry about more important matters. It will make your life a lot happier in the long run.[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. I'll note that the OP never said he was offended.
 
When I was a cashier I'd ask just because you wanna make sure no one gets left behind.

Honestly, I'd rather people assume I was separate. That way you each get taken care of. Nothing like my dude ordering a desert and you get given two spoons. I don't eat dessert or from other's plates and now people are just gonna stare to boot.
 
[quote name='GuilewasNK']I don't think there is any malice most of the time. I am the product of an interracial marriage myself so I have seen this first hand as well.

Next time someone asks you that, have some fun with it. They ask, you turn to your wife, you both give a nice kiss on the lips to each other, then say to the cashier "never seen her before in my life".[/QUOTE]

:applause:

haha good one Guile.

Anyways I'm latino(but often mistaken for being middle eastern :roll:) and my gf is white and so was my ex. I've never had that happen to us when we are in the store together. So I guess Black/White couples get it more than Latino/White, Asian/White, Middle Eastern/White couples. I have that more "Do you work here?" annoyance from other people if I am carrying around a shopping hand cart with several DIFFERENT items......umm HELLO I AM SHOPPING JUST LIKE YOU!!! It's worse on days I walk into best buy wearing a blue shirt with buttons :(
 
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I'm not assuming any racist intent from the cashiers, or offended by them asking. Just, slightly annoyed by it. I've been hearing it for over 10 years now. Although from the cashier's perspective this is the first time they've seen me.

Yet when I'm holding hands with or carrying a child who (mostly) looks mixed, you think they could just assume.

Not that big of deal and I'm likely to be hearing it for the rest of my life.
 
[quote name='Access_Denied']Say what you will, but no matter how socially acceptable it is, it still doesn't happen very often, at least around me it doesn't. I'll be lucky if I see 1 interracial couple out of 100. Don't ask me why, that's just how it is around here (north of Chicago). But I don't think I would worry about fast food joints too much. They honestly probably do that to a lot of couples, just to make sure that they're not leaving anybody unserved.

But hey, if worse comes to worst, you could always get matching T-shirts that point at each other and say "I'm with him/her". :lol:[/QUOTE]

Come to South Suburbs of Chicago, around 40% (just a guess) couples I see around here are interracial. I've had 2 white ex's, and I'm black and It doesn't seem to happen as much if she or he in some cases are insanely hot.
 
Sometimes I'll be in line somewhere and the cashier will randomly ask if I'm with the person in front of me. I'm Filipino, pretty tanned, and often mistaken for Hispanic and yeah there was a couple times where the people in front of me were Filipino or Hispanic. I didn't think of it as racist just funny cause hey I sure fit the part haha. Also sometimes lines get long and I'll make some small talk, will get asked if we were together just because the cashier noticed us talking. A lot times my girlfriend and I will throw a bunch of things on the check stand conveyor belt together but cashiers still usually ask if we want it all together.

I'm in a mixed relationship as well. My girlfriend is half Korean and half Palestinian. Yup, a rare Pokemon indeed. Also I live in California so interracial couples aren't really seen as a big deal for the most part, and with some of the comments above I believe they're more common than some of you would think.
 
In the area where I grew up, you were more likely to see a giant robot storming through town than a white guy with a black girl. Prior to meeting my wife, I had always wanted to date a black girl. Being a white guy, and knowing just how few white guy/black girl couples there are, I just never really knew how to make it happen.
 
You're projecting. But then again, maybe you're not.

Next time, go to a restaurant where you have to sit down at a table to avoid any confusion. Also, make reservations ahead of time to ensure the same mistake is not made when you go to the hostess to be seated. When you are seated, let the server know that you're together so there is no confusion when the check arrives. It's your job to let everyone know you're in a mixed relationship. Perhaps you could get your wife a shirt that says "I'm with whitey" with an arrow pointing to the side, then you have to walk on the side of her where the arrow is pointing so everyone knows that you're her white husband.

I'm kidding.

I know a few people are mentioning having fun with it - I would get free food with it. If I was asked, "Are you together?" I would throw a tantrum - "What a white man can't be with a black woman in your store? Where are we - Jackson, Mississippi, 1953?" When the whelp behind the counter starts to say, "No sir, no sir," then I'd go after him, "Oh so, YOU can't accept an interracial couple? What you've never heard of Ted Danson and Whoopi Goldberg?". By this time, the manager should have joined you at the counter and you tell him that he has a racist working for him and tell him you are going to sue the entire corporation for such blatant racism - unless you get free food. It works all the time.
 
My girl and I get this all the time too!
genitalharry2mf.jpg
 
Even here in Los Angeles, where Asian people are everywhere, I still get asked "Are you together?" if I happen to be next to another Asian person in line. But, as has been said already, I understand that it's simply cashiers needing to be sure how to handle a transaction. Nothing personal.
 
[quote name='CouRageouS']My girlfriend is half Korean and half Palestinian.[/QUOTE]

Just as an aside, I have a friend who's half-Japanese and half-Jewish. I don't think they'd get along. :lol: Kidding, of course.
 
I don't see the racism here. Whenever my girlfriend and I go to any fast food restaurant, they always ask if we are together. I think it just what they are supposed to do when there is another person in line. Happens to me when I am with my brother, friends, girlfriend, or father. Never thought much of it.
 
[quote name='CouRageouS']My girlfriend is half Korean and half Palestinian. Yup, a rare Pokemon indeed.[/QUOTE]

That made me lol
 
Does it happen at nicer sit down type restaurants? The times you listed are probably innocent, but if you were standing there to get a table with your wife and child, and the person asked that, I'd understand it raising an eyebrow.
 
[quote name='rapsodist']Just as an aside, I have a friend who's half-Japanese and half-Jewish. I don't think they'd get along. :lol: Kidding, of course.[/QUOTE]
:rofl: Believe me, there's a lot of jokes that come with her two halfs. I think I ran out of them after the past couple years though... The funny thing is she looks Hispanic and we eat at a lot of Mexican places and quite often they'll just start speaking to us in Spanish and look at us crazy when we don't understand.
 
[quote name='Feeding the Abscess']Cashier's just asking you if the bill is going to be paid as one or two orders.[/QUOTE]

No, it's almost always a seperate cashier from the one already waiting on us. Asking me (or her) basically, if we've been helped yet. Because we're not, well, together.


And for those saying it's not that common here's some info from wikipedia about the US at least.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interracial_marriage_in_the_United_States

White Husband - Asian Wife is #1 (Duh)
Asian Husband - Black Wife is least common.
 
I'm white, my wife Asian and I honestly don't remember the last time someone asked me this. Maybe it happened a few times in the past but it was so long ago. We've been married for almost 6 years so I haven't thought about it in a while but I wonder if people still think it's odd seeing us together.

I do get this sometimes, first of all I live in South Florida which has a predominate gay community. This has only happened a few times but during break I'll go get diner with a male co-worker and sometimes the clerk will automatically put our bills together possibly thinking we're a couple. I know it might just be an honest mistake but a few times they even say "Oh, I though you two were together." Honestly it doesn't bother me, I find it funny more than anything.
 
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[quote name='musha666']If you have a racist attitude (as you seem to have)[/QUOTE]

:applause: Because most people in an interracial marriage are secretly racist and filled with hate? Makes sense to me! Maybe if you would spend less time being an elitist, know-it-all douchebag, your life would be a lot happier lol.
 
If a male asks the question, then his is digging on your wife/girlfriend. If a female asks you, then she wants your dick.

A stranger asked me if my wife and I were "brother and sister" a few years ago. I didn't know how to respond because, just seconds before that, she screamed at me for putting my groceries too close to hers on the check-out conveyor belt.
 
[quote name='shieryda']If a male asks the question, then his is digging on your wife/girlfriend. If a female asks you, then she wants your dick.

A stranger asked me if my wife and I were "brother and sister" a few years ago. I didn't know how to respond because, just seconds before that, she screamed at me for putting my groceries too close to hers on the check-out conveyor belt.[/QUOTE]


Now that's pretty fucked up...
 
Yeah, dude. It was totally surreal. My wife and I just looked at each other and laughed. The grocery lady seemed pretty unstable.
 
A thread about interracial couples and I am just now finding it?

My fiancee is Mexican/German and as many of you know I am Jamaican/Regular old American Black (Yea black people do come from other places than Africa! Crazy I know) and although that does happen a lot it really isnt a big deal. I usually make a joke of it because for the most part its harmless.

The bigger problem is the fact that still to this day if we go anywhere that has a large amount of black women they will stare us down like I personally assaulted their women hood. I have had them wait until my fiancee leaves then come up to me and try and scold me about it. Hilarious.

I do agree that there are far less interracial couples than society thinks and its far less accepted behind close doors. When we were living in the south we do indeed get a decent about of awkward stares from bible thumpers everywhere. She is very religious and I am not and a decent amount of her "friends" even had a problem with it.

The cool thing is my sister married a pure polish guy (last name not pronounceable) and they have a cute as a button half breed daughter. So I am happy that our family blood line will be mixed as hell in a few generation.

Meh, you love who you love if anyone has a problem with it they can fuck right off.
 
[quote name='Soodmeg'] I am Jamaican/Regular old American Black (Yea black people do come from other places than Africa! Crazy I know) [/QUOTE]
To be fair, your ancestor's probably came from Africa at some point, even if it was by way of Jamaica.
 
[quote name='Stoic Person Eater']To be fair, your ancestor's probably came from Africa at some point, even if it was by way of Jamaica.[/QUOTE]

To be even more fair, yours did, too.:D

It's jungle fever in my old office, and was very common for us. Lots of asians with whites. I don't see the big deal.
Click to expand...

So that's what the movie of the same name is about?!
 
Well, Jamaican isnt really a race its a nationality I just have to say that because if I dont everyone well assume I am African American and thus completely disregard my entire Jamaican ancestors which is really annoying.
 
[quote name='2DMention']It's jungle fever in my old office, and was very common for us. Lots of asians with whites. I don't see the big deal.[/QUOTE]

You see white guys with asian girls all the time, that's no big deal.

Now, rare combinations are Asian guys with anything else. Don't think I've ever seen Middle Eastern/Pakistani/Indian guys with any other combination. Never seen any Pacific Islander/Samoan combinations either (The Rock excluded).

When going to the MLK museum in Atlanta we saw several Black Male/Indian female combination couples. (The fact that there's a seperate section in the MLK museum just for Ghandi should help clue you in)
 
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