Artie Lange rushed to a NJ Hospital

[quote name='HotShotX']CheapyD and Wombat visited them a "few weeks ago"...coincidence? I think not.

~HotShotX[/QUOTE]
Sure, blame the Jews...
 
Well I hope he gets well. Sucks that this is in New York. At least I'm going to guess it is because isn't that where they do the show? If it was in CA that new law would keep TMZ and all others like them from bothering him and I think his family.
 
[quote name='Xevious']Whats with all these fat people going to the hospital?[/QUOTE]

Add to that the drunks and drug abusers, who would guess they go to the hospital frequently?
 
who the fuck is artie lange?

wikipedia seems to indicate that he's howard stern's sidekick? for real? this is a person people care about? this is a thread about howard stern's sidekick?
 
Not surprising, this guy is about as fat and dirty as anyone can possibly be. I think the more surprising thing is that this POS is still alive.
 
[quote name='Koggit']who the fuck is artie lange?

wikipedia seems to indicate that he's howard stern's sidekick? for real? this is a person people care about? this is a thread about howard stern's sidekick?[/QUOTE]


He was on the Norm Mcdonald TV Show, Dirty Work, Beer League, Howard Stern, Mad TV, just made an ass out of himself a couple of months ago on the Joe Buck TV Show.
 
Why is the Howard Stern show still on air? They should've just had one show where they turn the mic on, say: tits, vagina, sex, dildos, and then have a girl orgasm into a microphone and then cancel the show. Any of their shows after that would essentially be re-runs.
 
[quote name='Koggit']who the fuck is artie lange?

wikipedia seems to indicate that he's howard stern's sidekick? for real? this is a person people care about? this is a thread about howard stern's sidekick?[/QUOTE]
So a person's death only matter if they are famous, right?
 
[quote name='Vincent_Core']So a person's death only matter if they are famous, right?[/QUOTE]

So we should have a new CAG thread about it every time anybody visits a hospital, right?
 
[quote name='Koggit']So we should have a new CAG thread about it every time anybody visits a hospital, right?[/QUOTE]


very strong rumor floating around that it was a suicide attempt.
 
I read his book last year; He has a very blatant disregard for his health the way he eats on top of the boozing and cocaine he seems to relapse into periodically. It's a shame that he's aware of and acknowledges it but doesn't ever seem to change.
 
this guy is a slob. i hadnt heard about him in awhile and i am not surprised to hear the news. Hes pretty funny on howard stern though.

for someone that does coke, he sure is fat.
 
[quote name='mr_burnzz']this guy is a slob. i hadnt heard about him in awhile and i am not surprised to hear the news. Hes pretty funny on howard stern though.

for someone that does coke, he sure is fat.[/QUOTE]

he does heroin, not coke.

lot's of clowns in this thread, funny stuff.
 
How the hell do you not kill yourself with a knife?

Eat a bunch of aspirin to prevent clotting.
Coat the knife with coke to reduce the pain. Find the femoral artery and slice it. Hit the stairmaster or an exercise bike until you drop.
 
Damn, I hope he gets better. It really seemed like things were looking up .. he got a new girlfriend, he was losing weight and playing b-ball, his career is looking good with book two in the works, etc. I wonder what went wrong. I wonder if it was that whole thing in Detroit when he got bummed about his dad and didn't come in for a whole week.

EDIT: OMG, just read the article .. what a horrendous, sinister to way to try to kill yourself.


[quote name='fatherofcaitlyn']
Eat a bunch of aspirin to prevent clotting.
Coat the knife with coke to reduce the pain. Find the femoral artery and slice it. Hit the stairmaster or an exercise bike until you drop.[/QUOTE]


:shock:

That's a little ... detailed. Anything you want to share with us?
 
Well the rumors from last weekend were right. He stabbed himself 9 times in the chest with a knife. Good thing he was fat or he would have definately hit something serious and died. It's a shame that his mom had to find him like that.
 
[quote name='Maklershed']
:shock:

That's a little ... detailed. Anything you want to share with us?[/QUOTE]

Most of your OTC pain relievers reduce blood's ability to clot.

When you're trying to bleed to death, clotting is your worst enemy.

The other big factors to bleeding to death are pain and volume of blood lost.

Once a body starts feeling pain, survival instinct kicks in and makes the body stops hurting itself. Cocaine or opiates would delay the pain and delay the survival instinct.

In terms of blood loss, femoral is almost as good as carotid and bigger than ulnar. The bonuses are that don't have to screw up one of your arms to start bleeding so you can cut yourself more, if you back out you have two hands to contain the bleeding and call 911 and you only have to wear shorts to cover up your scars if you live.

I'm not advocating suicide, but it wouldn't hurt to look over an anatomy book beforehand if that is your only viable option.
 
I thought it sounded kind of odd that he didn't die from stabbing himself. If he was really trying to kill himself, don't you think he would have stabbed himself in the heart or neck or slit the wrists or like father said, the femoral artery?
 
Yeah, anybody who knows anything would agree that people who cut themselves don't want to die. I can't even imagine how fucked up his head must be if he goes with the middle ground between "instant and permanent" of shooting yourself and "painless and gradual" of OD'ing. He chooses to insert and pull out a knife from his chest 9 times? Maybe he's planning a rap career?
 
That's one of the most fucked up things I've ever read. I can't imagine the self-loathing that is involved with a suicide by stabbing yourself. Well, he's almost certainly never coming back to the show but I sincerely hope he gets better.
 
[quote name='tcrash247']I thought it sounded kind of odd that he didn't die from stabbing himself. If he was really trying to kill himself, don't you think he would have stabbed himself in the heart or neck or slit the wrists or like father said, the femoral artery?[/QUOTE]


I am not trying to be an asshole but a 300lb man stab himself in the chest. Probably missed every major organ.
 
[quote name='wildcpac']I am not trying to be an asshole but a 300lb man stab himself in the chest. Probably missed every major organ.[/QUOTE]

That's why I said if he really wanted to die he could have slit his wrists or throat. You can't really miss them.
 
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