How do you convince your mom to stop buying overpriced items?

N

nasum

CAGiversary!
Mine is thoroughly convinced that she needs to buy top of the line everything, even when her needs are often much less.
For instance:
Just purchased the most expensive iPad even though the 16GB with 3G suits her needs
Was almost conned into buying a new Mac because she doesn't have 10.5 (luckily I caught this one in time)
Now thinks she needs the Airport Extreme Base ($180) for a wireless router even though the Microcenter up the street from my house has Linksys B/G/N routers on clearance for $30
Purchased this ungodly set of appliances for her kitchen even though the woman simply cannot cook and uses a Foreman Grill for 90% of her meals.
Ended up buying a $5k plasma TV even though I found the same model for $2,750 online. Didn't even have a HD set top box for three months after purchasing the TV. Doesn't even watch the TV anymore because the basement is too cold, dad is the only one that goes down there but only watches three or four channels and doesn't understand watching HD, only watches SD with a stretched frame...

I'm so sick of them getting ripped off but since I haven't lived there for ten years I can't protect them anymore. About the only thing they don't fall victim to is Nigerian Princes wishing to sell their fortune for 10%...
 
In the end, I think you have to recognize that parents (and people in general, really) are going to do what they do. You can show them small things here and there, but for the most part, they're set in their ways and sometimes have their own reasons for doing things (feel more comfortable buying in-store vs online, want guaranteed extended warranties, etc).

Part of it is just getting old too. No matter how much you show them, they're probably not going to pick up on many of the newer technologies (unless they happen to work in the field). Ultimately, it'll be less of a headache for you and less of a strain on your relationship if you just learn to let it go. As long as they're not sending themselves into financial ruin, it is their money after all.

The most terrifying aspect of all of this is that in 20-30 years...this could be you. ;)
 
At least she doesn't go ordering every piece of crap gadget shown on TV. My mother has got so much unused exercise gear, shitty kitchen appliances, random crap it's not funny.
 
To be fair, I'd go with the Airport extreme. Maybe it's just my luck, but I've been through at least 7 wireless routers, and they all suck balls. The most recent one I paid over $100 for and it still sucks. Yet my friend has an Airport, and she never has any of the cutting out problems that my bull shit routers give me.

But anyway, I've dealt with this before, and the answer is: there's no stopping her. She's going to do what she wants. Trust me, I've been through this with quite a few of these arguments, and they always end with me losing. :/
 
There's nothing you can do really. They're ripping themselves off if they won't listen to reason, won't do their own product research, and won't look for any deals.

To be honest your parents sound like the typical consumer. I assume they must have good income and/or savings to be throwing down $5k on a new TV, so at least they're not poor and being taken advantage of. It sounds like they're just flushing their own money down the drain and don't have a problem with it.

So don't worry about it - unless you're banking on inheriting the money they're throwing away.
 
females have spending problems. they just need to spend. if you convenience your mom not to buy those items, she's just going to spend it on other crap.
 
[quote name='RandyTsai']females have spending problems. they just need to spend. if you convenience your mom not to buy those items, she\'s just going to spend it on other crap.[/QUOTE]

FEMALES have spending problems? How many guys here have backlogs in the double digits? For Christ\'s sake.
 
If she's not on the next episode of hoarders or up to her eyeballs in debt, why is it your business?

Part of growing up is realizing people around you are going to do stupid things (like believing an infomerical or voting Republican) and usually there's nothing you can do to stop them.
 
relevant_to_my_interests1.jpg


My mom pulls the same shit, except usually the problem is she buys way too much cheap crap she never uses just because it is "on sale." My dad also insists on buying luxury cars every couple years, always buying new and always getting hosed trading in. My dad alone makes about 2.5x my husband and me combined but we likely have a higher net worth, and I'm only 22. All due to their inability to control their habits. My dad could be retired by now if he didn't pull this shit.

[quote name='camoor']If she's not on the next episode of hoarders or up to her eyeballs in debt, why is it your business?

Part of growing up is realizing people around you are going to do stupid things (like believing an infomerical or voting Republican) and usually there's nothing you can do to stop them.[/QUOTE]
My mom is dangerously close to being on Hoarders at this point. My parents have a mortgage, HELOC, and car loans when there is absolutely no reason to at my father's level of income. They paid off the mortgage on their old house in 11 years, but then got a HELOC so my dad could have his cars. So when they moved, even though the houses were an even trade in terms of sale price, they still ended up getting a $140k mortgage. WTF?
 
My mother is ridiculous with her spending -- not so much on herself, but every year she skips paying bills and goes nuts buying shit for Christmas (gifts and food). I'm 28, my brother is 26, but she insists on blowing every dime she has on gifts for us. My solution: take away her debit card. I'm now fully in charge of her finances, because it's the only way to keep her in check.
 
Can she afford it?

If so, why do you care, other than it's your inheritance she's pissing away.

If she can't afford it that's a whole other discussion. She needs to go to debtors anonymous, or get on Dave Ramsey or something.
 
[quote name='nasum']Mine is thoroughly convinced that she needs to buy top of the line everything, even when her needs are often much less.
For instance:
Just purchased the most expensive iPad even though the 16GB with 3G suits her needs
Was almost conned into buying a new Mac because she doesn't have 10.5 (luckily I caught this one in time)
Now thinks she needs the Airport Extreme Base ($180) for a wireless router even though the Microcenter up the street from my house has Linksys B/G/N routers on clearance for $30[/QUOTE]

The Airport Extreme is worth it, and so is the iPad. Sounds like you could learn a few things from her actually.
 
Oh don't get me wrong, I'm fine with the iPad, just not the 64GB + 3G model for her. The 16GB + 3G certainly suits her needs. Example, her top of the line iMac from a few years ago has less than 10% of the 250GB hard drive used. Most of that being the OS and iLife.
What's even more funny is that I can't get 3G data going in their house on my iPhone...

It isn't about losing an inheritance (they don't really have much money, just a beat to hell house that would need more work than it's worth), I'm just concerned that they're going to get themselves into too much trouble and then come live with me which is just not at all an option.
 
[quote name='keithp']
If she can't afford it that's a whole other discussion. She needs to go to debtors anonymous, or get on Dave Ramsey or something.[/QUOTE]

Word. I'm doing Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University right now with my gf. It's not so much for me, as I'm very financially savvy, it's more for her. His classes are very good for people who don't have an understanding of how to manage money, or don't understand the importance of trying to get out of debt.
 
This doesn't come from being immature or being nosy, at least for me. I just hate seeing people waste money on more than they need. For example, a few years back before she died my grandmother bought a 50 inch plasma TV. This is a woman with bad eyesight to begin with, but she never bothered upgrading her cable either. So she had a 50 inch TV with SD cable, and she wouldn't let me correct the aspect ratio, she'd rather have the image stretched out. I could have saved her some money had she asked me, but she and my aunt just went out and got whatever the sales guy told them to.

It pains me to see people do that, even if they're loaded with money. I just hate seeing people being taken advantage of by retail stores and their sales people.
 
[quote name='Clak']This doesn't come from being immature or being nosy, at least for me. I just hate seeing people waste money on more than they need. For example, a few years back before she died my grandmother bought a 50 inch plasma TV. This is a woman with bad eyesight to begin with, but she never bothered upgrading her cable either. So she had a 50 inch TV with SD cable, and she wouldn't let me correct the aspect ratio, she'd rather have the image stretched out. I could have saved her some money had she asked me, but she and my aunt just went out and got whatever the sales guy told them to.

It pains me to see people do that, even if they're loaded with money. I just hate seeing people being taken advantage of by retail stores and their sales people.[/QUOTE]

That doesn't sound like she was taken advantage of, it just sounded like she didn't care enough so she got sold a really big TV and is fine with it even if its not working at maximum potential.
 
She was fine with the 27 inch she had before, at least that's what she always said before it died. She specifically said that the sale person told her it was one of the best they had. Nevermind that she didn't need it and could have bought a SDTV and been just as happy.

Here is the thing, many people have more money than they have sense or knowledge. When that happens, they either make bad choices themselves or let someone else tell them what they need. Most people would rather just go somewhere, let someone tell them what they need, and whip out the card/check book.
 
My parents are just the opposite. They spend very little except going out to eat, which isn't really bad considering how little they spend on everything else.

They're in their 70s, which makes a difference. They grew up during the depression.

My Dad also has decent money from a pension, investments, etc.
 
One of my roommates spends out of control.

But what can I say? I did too...until the recession closed all my CC's (and none had any late payments btw...)

So basically...you're going to do what you're going to do
 
[quote name='nasum']Oh don't get me wrong, I'm fine with the iPad, just not the 64GB + 3G model for her. The 16GB + 3G certainly suits her needs. Example, her top of the line iMac from a few years ago has less than 10% of the 250GB hard drive used. Most of that being the OS and iLife.
What's even more funny is that I can't get 3G data going in their house on my iPhone...
[/QUOTE]

The 16GB iPad is useless, it's way too little an amount of space. Even my 32GB is already full and I have to keep taking things off of it. 64GB is the only way to go, you can't add more RAM later so it makes sense to pay the extra one or two hundred, otherwise it's 'penny wise pound foolish'.
 
Good luck. My parents are thousands in debt because they buy so much stupid useless shit. They're also currently unemployed and keep wasting money.
 
[quote name='Clak']She was fine with the 27 inch she had before, at least that's what she always said before it died. She specifically said that the sale person told her it was one of the best they had. Nevermind that she didn't need it and could have bought a SDTV and been just as happy.

Here is the thing, many people have more money than they have sense or knowledge. When that happens, they either make bad choices themselves or let someone else tell them what they need. Most people would rather just go somewhere, let someone tell them what they need, and whip out the card/check book.[/QUOTE]

I don't think the amount of money one has really has anything to do with financial spending sense. Either you know how to make sensible purchases and manage your finances, or you don't, regardless of if you make $90 an hour or $9 an hour.

Regardless, I still maintain that's not being taken advantage of. If he sold her the 50 inch but then told her she had to buy a ton of extra shit or else it won't work, when thats untrue, that would be taking advantage of her.
 
[quote name='porieux']The 16GB iPad is useless, it's way too little an amount of space. Even my 32GB is already full and I have to keep taking things off of it. 64GB is the only way to go, you can't add more RAM later so it makes sense to pay the extra one or two hundred, otherwise it's 'penny wise pound foolish'.[/QUOTE]

I think you mean 'penny wise, dollar foolish'. Damn foreigners. :lol:

Also, I'd have to agree with kodave. If she's still financially responsible, don't bother. Now, I know people who are $60k in debt, and I'd beat them silly. But if your mom is having fun spending money that she know she has, then go ahead and let her. Just watch it closely. My grandma did the same thing for years and it was no problem. But when my grandpa passed and he quit controlling the finances, she went broke. So just keep an eye on their situation. If you don't see it affecting her a whole lot, let her spend it. Remember, she can't take it with her. ;)
 
[quote name='2DMention']My parents are just the opposite. They spend very little except going out to eat, which isn't really bad considering how little they spend on everything else.

They're in their 70s, which makes a difference. They grew up during the depression.

My Dad also has decent money from a pension, investments, etc.[/QUOTE]

My husband and I are pretty much like that, though probably not quite as extreme, and we're only 22 and 33 so we don't have a pension or anything. :lol: I think my husband's influence + outright rejection of my parents' frivolous spending has pushed me in that direction.
 
[quote name='kodave']I don't think the amount of money one has really has anything to do with financial spending sense. Either you know how to make sensible purchases and manage your finances, or you don't, regardless of if you make $90 an hour or $9 an hour.

Regardless, I still maintain that's not being taken advantage of. If he sold her the 50 inch but then told her she had to buy a ton of extra shit or else it won't work, when thats untrue, that would be taking advantage of her.[/QUOTE]
Guess it's a difference of opinion then. To me it's no different than a sales person talking someone into buying a sports car when a compact would do. In both instances they saw someone who didn't know any better and took advantage of them basically. Like all the tiems I've heard Best Buy's sales staff selling an expensive compouter to someone who doesn't need it, happens with older people a lot it seems.

But I do see a connection between wealth and buying sense, because when you have enough money you don't have to worry about making the smartest buying decision anymore. So what if you bought more than you needed, it's only money. Sales people love these types, they're an easy mark.
 
[quote name='porieux']The 16GB iPad is useless, it's way too little an amount of space. Even my 32GB is already full and I have to keep taking things off of it. 64GB is the only way to go, you can't add more RAM later so it makes sense to pay the extra one or two hundred, otherwise it's 'penny wise pound foolish'.[/QUOTE]

All she wants is Zillow, Kindle and Netflix. She's not into music so it isn't like she's going to put 600 records on the thing, and aside from that there isn't much that's going to take up space on the drive. She ended up with the 32GB + 3G, so at least she wasn't completely obtuse to the notion of proper amount of space.

So the iPad requires 10.5.8 if you're using a Mac. She was still on 10.4.11 but I had the 10.5.3 disc so I updated her OS. Then (on Qwest DSL in a suburb of Mpls) it took more than 4 hours to get all the necessary downloadable updates after that. Then I went back the next day with a wireless router so that she isn't going through the 3G all the time. For whatever reason I couldn't get the netflix program either from the iPad or from iTunes. Apparently she got it to go, but not until she called me in tears because "nothing works" earlier today. She's more or less set now and she's been web browsing all day while staying in her bed. So I essentially I've set her up for even worse problems because she can now ignore the world.
 
[quote name='porieux']The 16GB iPad is useless, it's way too little an amount of space. Even my 32GB is already full and I have to keep taking things off of it. 64GB is the only way to go, you can't add more RAM later so it makes sense to pay the extra one or two hundred, otherwise it's 'penny wise pound foolish'.[/QUOTE]

I've had my 16 gb since June and still have 10 gb free. It's perfect for what I use it for. I have about 55 apps installed. It was hardly foolish IMO to purchase the 16 IMO.
 
[quote name='keithp']Can she afford it?

If so, why do you care, other than it's your inheritance she's pissing away.

If she can't afford it that's a whole other discussion. She needs to go to debtors anonymous, or get on Dave Ramsey or something.[/QUOTE]

That's my response in a nut shell.

If they can afford it and aren't going into debt or pissing away their retirement savings, there's no reason to care. Other than inheritance and that's just selfish.

Not everyone is a cheap ass and cares about pinching every penny, getting the best deals, buying the bare minimum they need etc. As long as one isn't going into debt or squandering retirement savings, who cares. Can't take money to your grave! Well you can but that's not very enjoyable.
 
[quote name='mtxbass1']I've had my 16 gb since June and still have 10 gb free. It's perfect for what I use it for. I have about 55 apps installed. It was hardly foolish IMO to purchase the 16 IMO.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, if one's not putting music of video on it, most other things don't take up much space. I want one (or some other kind of tablet) but wouldn't go high end on space as I'd just use it for apps, net surfing and reading PDFs and other documents, none of which take up tons of space.

Screen is too small to watch movies on etc. IMO. So I wouldn't keep videos on it, maybe load a digital copy of something to watch on a flight and delete later. Music I have my mp3 players for and wouldn't use on a tablet.
 
[quote name='Access_Denied']I think you mean 'penny wise, dollar foolish'. Damn foreigners. :lol:
[/QUOTE]


Hehe, actually I'm from USA. As far as I know we say that here too :)
 
I only have like 1GB of music on my iPad and no videos. I do have a lot of PDFs in Goodreader though, and stuff in ComicZeal both of which take a lot of space. Apps take a lot of space too, IME. Sure you could limit the number of apps you install, but that limits the usefulness of the device itself. Just my opinion of course, but based on experience.

Almost forgot, I have around 2GB or so of MAME roms also, which are awesome to have on there I must say.
 
[quote name='Clak']She was fine with the 27 inch she had before, at least that's what she always said before it died. She specifically said that the sale person told her it was one of the best they had. Nevermind that she didn't need it and could have bought a SDTV and been just as happy.[/QUOTE]

The Indian working in my electrical store tried to do the same thing with me, tried selling me a TV that was EXACTLY the same spec as the one that I wanted only it was a more expensive brand. I on the other hand told him where to get off and complained to his manager about his BS'ing.

Funny note: I paid in cash and it took the guy over 5 minutes to count it.
 
[quote name='Phelmo']The Indian working in my electrical store tried to do the same thing with me, tried selling me a TV that was EXACTLY the same spec as the one that I wanted only it was a more expensive brand. I on the other hand told him where to get off and complained to his manager about his BS'ing.

Funny note: I paid in cash and it took the guy over 5 minutes to count it.[/QUOTE]

Was it this guy:
shelley-malil-40-year-old-virgin.jpg


or this guy:
44667-mooj.jpg
 
Your parents are not concerned about getting a great value for their money. They're concerned about getting something they can show off to their friends, who also don't know anything about the equipment, just the price tags. It's the same reason some people have to have starbucks everyday instead of a better coffee from a cheaper no-name shop.

As long as they aren't going into debt over it, let them have their overpriced status symbols- it makes them feel better about themselves. (if they are going into debt, that's another matter. Take their credit cards away.)
 
I usually smack my mom in the face, and say "Bitch, why you spending so much money." She gets mad, but I'm all, "What. What. I can do whatever I want. You don't own me. Now give me some money so I can go to the movies" Yeah, I said it. I just got it like that.
 
[quote name='Clak']Guess it's a difference of opinion then. To me it's no different than a sales person talking someone into buying a sports car when a compact would do. In both instances they saw someone who didn't know any better and took advantage of them basically. Like all the tiems I've heard Best Buy's sales staff selling an expensive compouter to someone who doesn't need it, happens with older people a lot it seems.

But I do see a connection between wealth and buying sense, because when you have enough money you don't have to worry about making the smartest buying decision anymore. So what if you bought more than you needed, it's only money. Sales people love these types, they're an easy mark.[/QUOTE]

To me its like this: 30" TV is like a Ford Taurus, 50" TV is like a Ford Expedition. You can buy fancy upgrades on both, but you don't have to. It sounds like your grandma went it to replace her Taurus but wasn't set on replacing it with another Taurus. The salesman showed her an Expedition and she agreed to buy because she was open to what the market had to offer / she didn't know what she wanted.

She could have said "No I'm just looking to get the same size model again." Then if he sold her a Taurus but told her it wouldn't drive without the GPS, Bose speakers, and 20 inch chrome rims and she believed him - then that would be taking advantage of her.

I agree with the salesmen taking advantage of old people looking for computers - computers are confusing, no doubt about it. And that does upset me a bit.

And TVs are becoming increasingly confusing with all of the internet connectivity and stuff. But the size of the TV is something the vast majority of people can control - a 50 inch isn't appropriate for a lot of rooms, and most stores have those viewing guides to determine the best size TV for the viewing distance. 50 inch TVs are huge. I know because I'm looking at one right now. Its not hard to say "I think that might be too big for my living room."

She needs to have some idea what her own size needs are - and your aunt could have / should have helped with that, then the salesman could 'help' her with all of the different models. And if he sold her one of those with internet apps and shit and he said the TV wouldn't work as well without them and your grandmother doesn't even have internet connectivity - that would be taking advantage of her when he should have helped direct her to a more basic model TV.

If she just walked in, said I need a TV, the guy said "I just want to let you know we're having a sale on this 50 inch TV, its top of the line" (and it really is top of the line) and your grandma just says "Ok I'll take it" instead of "I dont know if that TV is right for me" then he didn't take advantage of her.
 
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