How to help someone who wont help themselves...Medical/personal advice maybe?

joe2187

joe2187

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Personal Drama and Crap, Helpful advice would be kind.



Alright.

My uncle is in horrible horrible condition, physically, mentally...everything about him is just falling apart.

He's a frequent beer drinker 6-12 pack a day and a frequent user of PCP

He has been hospitalized not too recently for alcohol poisoning and was diagnosed with septicemia (Blood poisoning) for a week and half he had internal bleeding and his skin turned a dark orange color, he was also diagnosed with diabetes, he escaped from the hospital momentarily ....to..*Sigh* "buy a six pack of beer" he was taken back but released 2 days later and sent home

However ever since he's been home he's been drinking and drinking and drinking beer like there's no tomorrow, whenever i visit him he's either with a beer in his hand or drooling and crawling on the floor from weakness.

He bleeds profusely from his mouth and various scratch wounds he gives himself when he gets nervous or angry, and sleeps in his own filth and garbage, he can barely talk or stand or walk, and when he does have enough strength to walk all he does is go to the store to buy beer and whatnot. sometimes he just sits in a chair and drools and mumbles from time to time.

Ive talked with the liqour stores but they wont cooperate with me in not selling him any alcohol

He refuses to get help, or go to rehab to a point where he gets violent, any help he refuses and retreats to his room, ive tried throwing out the beer but it only results in extreme violent fits where he ends up hurting himself.

I dont know what to do with him he's my uncle and it seems as if he's only so far away from shutting down completely

Ive tried calling the hospital, but they refuse to accept him unless he cooperates, which he will not. ive tried helping him myself but their is only so much i can do, his stuborness is immense.

Are they any orginizations or services i can call that could handle a person like this? some way to set up an intervention? any advice would be helpful.
 
[quote name='anomynous']Put him in an asylum


Its extreme, but it would work[/quote]


Hmmm, I dont think so

He's sick physically, not insane, although he gets confused alot...i dont think that would work.
 
There's nothing you can do to help someone that doesn't want to be helped. He has to decide for himself that he needs it because only he can change his behavior, and only if he wants to. That's why it's said that some people need to hit rock bottom before they can turn their life around. Some people can do it earlier; for some people, it comes too late (after they have permanently harmed themselves or die). It's sad, but there is nothing you can do until he decides that he wants/needs help.
 
maybe slowing limit the amount of alcohol he drinks? like offer to buy him his beers and w/e and gradually buy less and less?
 
You can't force someone into rehab, it they don't believe they should be there it will never work. Possible he's self medicating a mental health issue like being bipolar.
 
I'm surprised he was let out of the hospital unless he left against medical advice. It sounds like he has severe liver disease with cirrhosis (hence his bleeding problems since the liver is needed to produce clotting factors) with hepatic encephalopathy (with the liver out of whack, toxins build up in the bloodstream leading to confusion and delirium).

Ironically, forcing him to stop drinking cold turkey could actually kill him since it would lead to DT's or severe withdrawal. He is extremely sick and really needs to be hospitalized, simple rehab isn't enough for someone in his condition.
 
I had an uncle with essentially the same problem (alcoholic), he died in the hospital. He wasted most of his life drinking. Terrible thing to watch, but you can't force them into a hospital.
 
[quote name='soonersfan60']There's nothing you can do to help someone that doesn't want to be helped. He has to decide for himself that he needs it because only he can change his behavior, and only if he wants to. That's why it's said that some people need to hit rock bottom before they can turn their life around. Some people can do it earlier; for some people, it comes too late (after they have permanently harmed themselves or die). It's sad, but there is nothing you can do until he decides that he wants/needs help.[/quote]

This. For the simple fact that humans, for all their flaws, are cunning creatures capable of doing almost anything they set their minds out to. OP, you can do a thousand things to stop him although you should understand that, whatever you do to stop him, unless he realizes how shitty his situation is and actively tries to change it around, he will be determined & find another thousand ways to circumvent you to get his fix, be it drug or drink. Even after years of rehab or counseling, some ppl, offered their vice just once, can relapse and all those years will have been for naught. All you can truly do is keep sending him back to the hospital or wait until he's had a life-altering near-death experience for him to change. Good luck.
 
I don't really have much experience in this myself, but I do believe everyone's right in that there's not much you can do unless he wants to change himself first. I wish you the best in trying to make him realize that he's killing himself and he should stop :(. Where's the rest of your family in all of this, if I may ask?
 
This sounds harsh, but I would go the route of calling the police when he goes on a PCP fit. If its his first time to get arrested and spend some time in jail he will most likely have trouble getting a fix while inside. It might be what he needs to turn stuff around.
 
you could have him ruled non copos mentis because he shows he isn't able to take care of himself and he is a danger to himself. Seems like a lot of legal work and would really destroy any relationship you have with him
 
Like another poster said he may be bi-polar and probably self medicating himself. My girlfriend is bi polar and used to do the same thing. She would drink till she got drunk, couldn't hold a job, and would be found passed out at various places around town.

Now that she's on medication she is a totally different person.
 
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