Only in America

Specter

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Found this on another website and thought some of them were quite funny!

Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
 
Yes they are funny, until you think of some of them...forgive the caps but thought it would help the quote/response.

[quote name='Specter']Found this on another website and thought some of them were quite funny!

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

IF THEY ARE LIKE ME, I LIKE THE LESS SWEET TASTE OF DIET POP.. NOT ABOUT CALORIES

Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

I HAVEN'T SEEN A PEN CHAINED DOWN IN YEARS.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

WHERE IS THIS? I HAVEN'T WITNESSED THIS, OF COURSE WITH CAR ALARMS, KEYS, AND THE FACT THAT CARS ARE THOUSANDS OF POUNDS MAKE IT A BIT HARDER TO STEAL THAN SAY A WRENCH OR BATTERY CHARGER,

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

LORD, IF I HAD A HOT DOG FOR EVERYTIME SOMEONE 'POINTED THIS OUT' THEY WOULD CALL ME OSCAR MEYER..

Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Not true.. POLI in latin means City ..poly=many... and tic=RELATING TOO.. the terrible thing about the internet is that if something seems halfway true it is passed on as absolut!

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOFY, UNTIL I MET A PERSON WHO HAD GREAT EYESIGHT BUT COULDN'T READ ANY SORT OF '12 POINT FONTS' HE WAS 'LEGALLY BLIND' BUT COULD DRIVE, PLAY VIDEOGAMES, BUT COULDN'T READ A MAGAZINE, INTERNET (ON NORMAL SIZE FONT) ETC.


EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

NO ITS SIMPLE BIOLOGY/CHEMISTRY
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
CAUSE EVERYONE IS RUSHING HOME

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
SAME REASON THERE ISN'T CHICKEN FLAVORED CERTS

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
NOT COMMANDED BY GOD

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
IN CASE OF THE MANY TIMES IT DOESN'T WORK

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
CAUSE THE WEIGHT WOULDN'T ALLOW IT TO GET OFF THE GROUND.


If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
CAUSE IT GOES BACK TO LATIN/GREEK---CON=TOGETHER/WITH


If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?[/quote]
ONCE AGAIN LATIN/GREEK WORK.. MEANING END..
 
[quote name='hiccupleftovers']That got a smirk out of me. Some are funny and some aren't.[/quote]

In soviet union smirk is more than toilet paper..
 
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