Retail Employee Stories Part 8: Stories From Smart Tech Featuring Andy

fuck ing guy at my universities post office. I thought he was cool since he always brings out my packages first and knows I get a bunch of packages. We talk casually too. He asked me if what I had was a Nook, I told him it was a Nexus 7. He asked if I like it since he uses Apple products.

Told him I don't like Apple products b/c they cost too much, lack functionality and I can do everything his iPad 2 can do for 3x less the cost. Explained that the N7 is a great tablet and so are iPad's but I prefer Android's. Told him Apple products are great too but too much money for the same features. Didn't say it in a in your face way, just stating it in casual conversation.

He underhandedly told me that he has a job and he can afford all the gadgets he wants so he doesn't consider the price. Than he tells me that once I'm able to get a real job I can afford it and get all the products he has.

He see's me every damn day and knows I sell on eBay. I drop off 3 - 5 packages and pick up the same amount. I make more then him in an hour than he does his whole work day. Jackass. He also knows I have all the products I want. He knows I own a high end laptop, all the current gen consoles, all the games I want, all the gadgets I get. All through deals but why spend more money when I can get my products cheaply and save my money. You don't continue to have money by spending it all. I'm usually nice to him but fuck him. 

For him to judge me off his stereotypes and little information. Idiot.

 
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Yigytugd said:
fucking guy at my universities post office. I thought he was cool since he always brings out my packages first and knows I get a bunch of packages. We talk casually too. He asked me if what I had was a Nook, I told him it was a Nexus 7. He asked if I like it since he uses Apple products. Told him I don't like Apple products b/c they cost too much, lack functionality and I can do everything his iPad 2 can do for 3x less the cost. Explained that the N7 is a great tablet and so are iPad's but I prefer Android's. Told him Apple products are great too but too much money for the same features. Didn't say it in a in your face way, just stating it in casual conversation. He underhandedly told me that he has a job and he can afford all the gadgets he wants so he doesn't consider the price. Than he tells me that once I'm able to get a real job I can afford it and get all the products he has. He see's me every damn day and knows I sell on eBay. I drop off 3 - 5 packages and pick up the same amount. I make more then him in an hour than he does his whole work day. Jackass. He also knows I have all the products I want. He knows I own a high end laptop, all the current gen consoles, all the games I want, all the gadgets I get. All through deals but why spend more money when I can get my products cheaply and save my money. You don't continue to have money by spending it all. I'm usually nice to him but fuck him. For him to judge me off his stereotypes and little information. Idiot.
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It sounds like you're both interested in a dick measuring contest.

 
pitfallharry219 said:
It sounds like you're both interested in a dick measuring contest.
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Nope. I just don't like being insulted based on little to no information.

He made it out to say b/c he owns Apple products that he makes more money and can afford "the best". But I'll get over it. Not the first time I dealt with stereotypes and I doubt it'll be the last.

 
Another holiday and as expected every 5 minutes yesterday, "Do you have trick or treat pails?" "Do you have glowsticks?" "Do you have (random Halloween item)?" And then they get annoyed when they you tell them we are sold out. We had the items since August, and had almost everything up until this past weekend. It's the same thing every holiday and I'm sure on Christmas Eve, people will be walking in an hour before closing expecting a full selection of Christmas items.

cager said:
Yeah I get this often but it doesnt piss me off lol. I go along with it and laugh. Now what pisses me off is when a custumer gets an attitude about checking the bill. Its usually some elderly customer. "I don't know why you have to check them, I got them from the bank".
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That happens a lot where I work too. We check everything except 1 dollar bills and people sometimes get offended that we take the counterfeit pen to mark each bill.

 
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This is from a consumers point of view which I thought was pretty damn funny. I went to Target today to see what kind of Halloween clearance they had, I never seem to make it when the store opens so I had my chance today. I didn't bother with the candy since it's usually only 30% off and immediately noticed the selection was pretty sparse with nothing that grappled my attention. I turn a corner and notice a shopping cart full of napkins and paper towels and I was like wtf, are you going to build a paper towel castle?!?!?

I tell the lady that she could probably get a lot more for less at Costco and she just shrugged her shoulders and went ahead, I guess these soccer moms really only see red when they go there. When I got home for shits and giggles I compared the amount of sheets per roll and Costco came out way ahead.

Some people...

 
YoshiFan1 said:
Another holiday and as expected every 5 minutes yesterday, "Do you have trick or treat pails?" "Do you have glowsticks?" "Do you have (random Halloween item)?" And then they get annoyed when they you tell them we are sold out. We had the items since August, and had almost everything up until this past weekend. It's the same thing every holiday and I'm sure on Christmas Eve, people will be walking in an hour before closing expecting a full selection of Christmas items.

That happens a lot where I work too. We check everything except 1 dollar bills and people sometimes get offended that we take the counterfeit pen to mark each bill.
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Yeah, I hate that. People waiting for the last minute and getting annoyed when something is out of stock.

Awe man I thought I was all cool telling people my bills were the real deal. I should just pay in coins to avoid the possible chance of my bill being fake. Looks like I'm going to need a lot of quarters. lol

 
Believe it or not, I have had several customers give me multiple rolls of coins. One guy a few years ago paid almost $100 in rolled coins.

Overheard an interesting conversation. A lady bought a special order door back in 1994. Her lockset broke, and she wants a new one for free, claiming lifetime warranty. Turns out they actually still make the lockset, but the warranty only covers the slab, not the lock. Said lock is $60. She refuses to pay for the lock and would rather buy a whole new door somewhere else than buy a new lock.
 
So, on Monday, my supervisor tells me that I had a half hour of overtime last week and that if I get any more I need to cut it.

Never mind that I always have 15-30 minutes of overtime virtually every week (our time clocks round all punches into 15 minute blocks).

It's Tuesday and I already have an hour and 15 minutes of overtime, largely because our brilliant scheduler had my relief attend a BS training class at 2pm. My shift ends at 2:15. The meeting didn't end until 3pm.
 
I was at the cash register today and within 30 minutes I already had 2 annoying customers. After I finished ringing up the first customer's items and she paid and got her change, she asked me if we have any merchandise we are giving away for free. I told her no and we don't give away items (what store does except when it's a buy 1 get 1 free sale or a special coupon). She replies that she usually gets free stuff here which I know is a lie.

Then around 15 minutes later I get this complainer who asks for all this random stuff and gets annoyed we don't have it. Normally that wouldn't be something I would post since that is somewhat typical. Then when he asks for an item we don't carry and I explain that it's something we can't get because it would be too expensive to sell at a low price (we are a discount store) he tells me we should go to a warehouse club store and buy the item even if we have to sell it and lose money and have it be a loss leader for "good customers like him." He's probably the same customer who complains that we are charging $0.02 more for an item than some other store 20 minutes away and wants a price match. Sadly, that actually happens.

 
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Yes, customer, I do realize that it is cold outside and that my register is right in front of big giant doors. ALL the registers are. I don't need you people telling me this (or that I pissed somebody off) and I am well aware this is a "cold spot." The last 50 guys told me already. As did the 50 guys yesterday. And the hundreds last week. And the thousands last month. I get it.
 
Since the last time I read a post here, I saw 40 Year Old Virgin.  Great movie.

I've been too angry at management to notice bad customers so I don't really have any recent stories about them. And after the recent news on the biggest data breach in history and plans to remove insurance for part time workers on April 1 (ironically would be my tenth year with the company), can you blame me?

 
Reading some of these, makes me strongly dislike customers so much more.

I so want to go to a customer's workplaces to humiliate them, piss them off, and/or make them hate their job more.

The ones that annoy me the most are the ones that look like their lives are going to end if they don't get their way. 

Most of the time we don't carry that item, it is a seasonal item, and/or the supplier is out of stock.

Let's say a specific flavor of ice cream is unavailable.  Get a different flavor of ice cream.

Don't talk to me like I ruined your life by running over your dog, while breaking into your house using your car.  All while I upload embarrassing videos of you from your past that I somehow found on the Internet.

 

 
DNukem170 said:
Yes, customer, I do realize that it is cold outside and that my register is right in front of big giant doors. ALL the registers are. I don't need you people telling me this (or that I pissed somebody off) and I am well aware this is a "cold spot." The last 50 guys told me already. As did the 50 guys yesterday. And the hundreds last week. And the thousands last month. I get it.
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Your a cashier im assuming? Im at home depot too, with the met team, usually just throw a sweatshirt on to limit the questions from customers although i dont mind helping. What store ya at?

 
Glen Burnie, the Ordance Rd store.

I actually wear a winter jacket and ski cap (from the Gad Guard set), yet people still have to tell me it's cold.

 
DNukem170 said:
Glen Burnie, the Ordance Rd store.

I actually wear a winter jacket and ski cap (from the Gad Guard set), yet people still have to tell me it's cold.
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I'm a UPS driver, during the summer when it's 110 outside people ask if it's hot outside when I come in dripping sweat all day long. O_O

 
I never make the "The bill was printed this morning" joke. I was with my cousin once and he made the joke at a food stand in a water park. 10 minutes later, security takes us into a room to make sure that we didn't actually have counterfeit money. That was fun...

 
So last year I got layed off at my factory job for a bit. Ended up working at a grocerie store for shitz-n-giggles.

(I knew I was getting my old job back in a few weeks)

Saw a lot of weird sh*t and followed shoplifters around at least twice a day, but the thing I remember the best was, While I was on my way to the back room I saw this pretty hispanic woman. Now, being a healthy 23yo man that was the first thing I noticed, the second thing I notice was that shes standing there trying out ALL of the hair brushes. 0_o....   So I walk up, smile, and ask if she needs help with anything. I thought she was going to have a heart attack (she apparently didn't notice me walk up, even though I'm 6'4 & 250lbs) and does this odd little jog with her cart, all but running away. I started laughing so hard I was in tears. Then, of coarse, I had to go deal with a teenager shoplifting in the liquor dept. 

 

 
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It's time for another installment of TALES OF STUPIDITY!

- So, I am looking at my future schedule and I notice...I am the only cashier opening. Three other cashiers, including the Head Cashier who sets all the tills and gets all the change, were either fired or retired a week ago. My supervisor says that she will text the mid-shift HC to open instead. Come in today to find out she never texted him and he only found out because another cashier told him yesterday.

- I look on my schedule and I see that both me and another cashier have a closing shift (leaving at 10pm) followed by an opening shift (5:45am). And the way the schedule is, we can't switch because she would still have a closing followed by and opening.

- Had a customer wanting to return a broken lawnmower. Took it over to Tool Rental to have it inspected, and they discovered the customer used diesel gasoline in the engine.

Actually, that's not true. Upon closer inspection, the guy used kerosene.
 
Saw a lady at a Best Buy customer service desk throwing a tantrum and the employee basically blew her off because of it and went to help the next customer in line. The funny part was how she was ranting and raving about how nice and polite she is while the mean rude employee (who was calm and level the entire time) treated her poorly.

 
Our registers have apparently gotten possessed. And hate grinders for some reason.

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Had guy who tried to steal 2 drill bits and a brass fitting today (totaling $144) but was caught by our security associate and managers. He kept shouting "Are you a cop!?" over and over again and when he finally got handcuffed he started shouting "LLLLIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSAAAAA!!!!!!!!" over and over again. His girlfriend saw what was happening and ran off.

Had this other lady later in the night wanting to return some lights. Two of them were by Juno, whose cheapest light is around $80. Those are an automatic no without receipt. She also has another $30 light and an $84 ballast 4-pack. Of course, no receipt and paid in cash. When I check her ID...it's been edited. For those who don't know about MD IDs, the ID# is in red text on a white background. She drew in a couple curves to make a 3 an 8. Said I couldn't accept it and stormed out.

She came back later with her boyfriend or husband or whatever returning the ballasts...and used the same damn ID I rejected an hour ago. The guy apparently doesn't have an ID. Urgh.
 
DNukem170 said:
Had guy who tried to steal 2 drill bits and a brass fitting today (totaling $144) but was caught by our security associate and managers. He kept shouting "Are you a cop!?" over and over again and when he finally got handcuffed he started shouting "LLLLIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSAAAAA!!!!!!!!" over and over again. His girlfriend saw what was happening and ran off.

Had this other lady later in the night wanting to return some lights. Two of them were by Juno, whose cheapest light is around $80. Those are an automatic no without receipt. She also has another $30 light and an $84 ballast 4-pack. Of course, no receipt and paid in cash. When I check her ID...it's been edited. For those who don't know about MD IDs, the ID# is in red text on a white background. She drew in a couple curves to make a 3 an 8. Said I couldn't accept it and stormed out.

She came back later with her boyfriend or husband or whatever returning the ballasts...and used the same damn ID I rejected an hour ago. The guy apparently doesn't have an ID. Urgh.
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Wow. Sometimes I just shake my head at society in general. Some folks should just never reproduce.

 
I have a few stories about my 3rd shift experiences at gas stations.   The weirdest thing someone tried to shoplift was hot sauce.  I felt bad for the guy because he was a regular and a nice guy.  He asked to use the phone and i told him, "yeah just put the hot sauce back."  I even told him if he needed something we're allowed 3 dollars a shift so if he was hungry let me know and I'd just eat the loss.

One night it was an african-american female coworker and I (around 9 or 10 pm) and someone dropped a crack rock on the floor.  I was walking around and noticed it, told my coworker.  She flipped and got all scared and was hysterical about calling the cops.  I just cooly (half jokingly) said "Leave it there someone will pick it up in 10 minutes."  It took 5


At the same location, one of my coworkers got in a fight with her baby's daddy mother (?) in the middle of our shift.  We had about 20-40 people in the store at the time.  The lady walks in and my coworker just walks around the counter and starts cursing and fighting.  Customers were confused because I just let them fight for a few minutes figuring they would tire themselves out and no one was in any real danger.  It never stopped people from getting their cigarettes, though.


I have more/crazier stories if anyone is interested.

 
Sizemore44 said:
I have a few stories about my 3rd shift experiences at gas stations. The weirdest thing someone tried to shoplift was hot sauce. I felt bad for the guy because he was a regular and a nice guy. He asked to use the phone and i told him, "yeah just put the hot sauce back." I even told him if he needed something we're allowed 3 dollars a shift so if he was hungry let me know and I'd just eat the loss.

One night it was an african-american female coworker and I (around 9 or 10 pm) and someone dropped a crack rock on the floor. I was walking around and noticed it, told my coworker. She flipped and got all scared and was hysterical about calling the cops. I just cooly (half jokingly) said "Leave it there someone will pick it up in 10 minutes." It took 5


At the same location, one of my coworkers got in a fight with her baby's daddy mother (?) in the middle of our shift. We had about 20-40 people in the store at the time. The lady walks in and my coworker just walks around the counter and starts cursing and fighting. Customers were confused because I just let them fight for a few minutes figuring they would tire themselves out and no one was in any real danger. It never stopped people from getting their cigarettes, though.


I have more/crazier stories if anyone is interested.
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I enjoy reading them. Having worked in retail, I posted up my memorable story before.
 
Sizemore44 said:
I have a few stories about my 3rd shift experiences at gas stations. The weirdest thing someone tried to shoplift was hot sauce. I felt bad for the guy because he was a regular and a nice guy. He asked to use the phone and i told him, "yeah just put the hot sauce back." I even told him if he needed something we're allowed 3 dollars a shift so if he was hungry let me know and I'd just eat the loss.

One night it was an african-american female coworker and I (around 9 or 10 pm) and someone dropped a crack rock on the floor. I was walking around and noticed it, told my coworker. She flipped and got all scared and was hysterical about calling the cops. I just cooly (half jokingly) said "Leave it there someone will pick it up in 10 minutes." It took 5


At the same location, one of my coworkers got in a fight with her baby's daddy mother (?) in the middle of our shift. We had about 20-40 people in the store at the time. The lady walks in and my coworker just walks around the counter and starts cursing and fighting. Customers were confused because I just let them fight for a few minutes figuring they would tire themselves out and no one was in any real danger. It never stopped people from getting their cigarettes, though.


I have more/crazier stories if anyone is interested.
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lol shit dude, is that at a Ractrac gas station? I worked at Racetrac for a year and a half and I remember hearing about some lady getting in a fight with someone in the middle of her shift :rofl:

I was fortunate enough to never work the 3rd shift when I worked for Racetrac, I probably would have been shanked/fired with a few weeks because I never know when to shut my mouth when people get nasty towards me. I still go into the one I used to work at whenever I want a soda in the middle of the night, and there are some nutty ass people in there. I routinely run into meth heads, crackheads, paranoid tin hat wearing folks, and just flat out nasty rednecks and wanna be gang members. I always get a kick out of it :D

 
Scootsy said:
lol shit dude, is that at a Ractrac gas station? I worked at Racetrac for a year and a half and I remember hearing about some lady getting in a fight with someone in the middle of her shift :rofl:

I was fortunate enough to never work the 3rd shift when I worked for Racetrac, I probably would have been shanked/fired with a few weeks because I never know when to shut my mouth when people get nasty towards me. I still go into the one I used to work at whenever I want a soda in the middle of the night, and there are some nutty ass people in there. I routinely run into meth heads, crackheads, paranoid tin hat wearing folks, and just flat out nasty rednecks and wanna be gang members. I always get a kick out of it :D
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No, it was a local place called Spinx.

One of my co-workers was an older guy who had some anger issues. People would bring in loose change, sometimes even 4 or 5 dollars worth, and he would scoot it off the counter into the floor and say "Next, please." One day he and this other gentleman were arguing and he calls the guy a son of a bitch. The guy then requests to see the manager. The guy says "Hey Linda, this son of a bitch wants to see you."

One night, this stripper from a shady strip club comes in to get a pack of cigarettes. I tell her the total and she just looks at me. I then repeat myself and just say ma'am. She gets all pissed and says "I work at Diamonds and I have to show you my fucking ID?" I replied, "No ma'am, but your total is $$$$." She goes out to her car to pump her gas then comes back in and says, "There's someone at my car." This was about 2:30 and there wasn't anything close to a human being in the parking lot. I explain that to her and she still argues with me about someone being out there. I tell her it would be fine and hope she gets the hell out of my store so i can stock the cooler. Finally after staring at her empty car for 5 minutes she says, "If I get hurt, it's your fault." I nonchalantly reply, "Ok well have a good night." I never saw her again.

 
We had a regular customer who every night bought a 6 pack of beer and a pack of cheap porn mags (usually got 3 in a pack for 10 bucks).  That day we had just happened to get a shipment in of cheap condoms.  Ironically the only time I have seen those in the store.  He comes in 5 minutes after I stock them and buys a 24 pack of beer and after careful deliberation, gets ALL of the cheap condoms I had stocked.  He then looks around some more and frustratingly/confusingly asks, "Y'all got all of these condoms and no lubrication?"  I didn't really know what to say since he said it in front of God and everybody like we were talking about the weather.  I said the first thing that popped in my mind, "Well we have some bottles of lotion."  "Hell that will have to do he says"  and buys all the lotion.

 
Sizemore44 said:
No, it was a local place called Spinx.

One of my co-workers was an older guy who had some anger issues. People would bring in loose change, sometimes even 4 or 5 dollars worth, and he would scoot it off the counter into the floor and say "Next, please." One day he and this other gentleman were arguing and he calls the guy a son of a bitch. The guy then requests to see the manager. The guy says "Hey Linda, this son of a bitch wants to see you."

One night, this stripper from a shady strip club comes in to get a pack of cigarettes. I tell her the total and she just looks at me. I then repeat myself and just say ma'am. She gets all pissed and says "I work at Diamonds and I have to show you my fucking ID?" I replied, "No ma'am, but your total is $$$$." She goes out to her car to pump her gas then comes back in and says, "There's someone at my car." This was about 2:30 and there wasn't anything close to a human being in the parking lot. I explain that to her and she still argues with me about someone being out there. I tell her it would be fine and hope she gets the hell out of my store so i can stock the cooler. Finally after staring at her empty car for 5 minutes she says, "If I get hurt, it's your fault." I nonchalantly reply, "Ok well have a good night." I never saw her again.
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I need to know a little more about this diamonds establishment. Is it a all nude or topless? This bit of information will help me decide if it was okay for you to send a stripper out to her death
 
razrvamp said:
I need to know a little more about this diamonds establishment. Is it a all nude or topless? This bit of information will help me decide if it was okay for you to send a stripper out to her death
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It's closed down now. I don't go to those type of joints.

 
Sizemore44 said:
We had a regular customer who every night bought a 6 pack of beer and a pack of cheap porn mags (usually got 3 in a pack for 10 bucks). That day we had just happened to get a shipment in of cheap condoms. Ironically the only time I have seen those in the store. He comes in 5 minutes after I stock them and buys a 24 pack of beer and after careful deliberation, gets ALL of the cheap condoms I had stocked. He then looks around some more and frustratingly/confusingly asks, "Y'all got all of these condoms and no lubrication?" I didn't really know what to say since he said it in front of God and everybody like we were talking about the weather. I said the first thing that popped in my mind, "Well we have some bottles of lotion." "Hell that will have to do he says" and buys all the lotion.
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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Oh. my. god. I never had anyone that damn weird, I feel kind of lucky now! Hahahahaha I cringe to think of him using the lotion as lube for sex. :shock:

 
One Saturday night I was working 3rd with another guy and this drunk guy pulls up to get gas.  I say to my coworker, "Dude look at this guy he's drunk."  He tells me not to approve his pump.  I didn't know I could refuse someone gas because they were drunk.  The customer is just sitting out there for a minute or two while I'm trying to figure out what to say to him over the intercom.  My co-worker hops on the mic and says, "I'm not letting you pump gas, you're too drunk."  The guy says,, "What?!? well hell"  hangs up the pump and goes hopefully home.


I have social anxiety and the location where most of these stories take place would be busy.  It wasn't uncommon to do 10,000 gallon shifts (not days, shifts).  It was in the largest county of South Carolina, but it was still freaking South Carolina.  Anyway, there would be a point to where I had enough of people and couldn't handle it and there's no telling what would happen.  I also was having problems at homes with both my step parents, so there was no escape.  It got so bad one day I had a panic attack because I was stuck in an office with 3 people asking me what was wrong with me when nothing was wrong.    Anyway enough prefacing.   There was an older customer of mine (50-70 or so) who would regularly cuss me out and allow me to cuss him back.  We called each other everything in the back in front of God and man.  One day was especially rough and I'm glad he came in.  We were doing our usual thing, "You're so dumb I bet you don't know how the hell to ring up the prepay." "You better pump your gas before you die you old son of a bitch."  etc.   There was a lady behind him who was at the youngest 70.  I don't remember exactly what I said, but I finished his transaction and she looked white as a ghost with her mouth  wide open.  Oops.


Another oops of mine happened on another day.  We had scanners that you slid IDs through to check if they were fake.  It would just show the birthday and age on it.  People however were convinced it was the mark of the beast and their info traveled everywhere.  I'd always say something nonchalant like, "no." I tried my best to be sweet while thinking, "nobody gives a damn if you're buying Bud Light just give me your money and go."   On this particular day, I had gotten tired of giving the standar "This just tells me your birthday to make sure the id isn't fake, it doens't go anywhere."  I saw this black guy come in and he didn't look like the usual crack/meth head that usually strolled in  I thought I'd have a little fun with him.  He bought some beer and I slid his id and of course he asks, "where does that go."  I tell the guy, "That info goes straight to the law enforcement center, they know where you are and what you bought.  It looks like you have a couple of warrants so I'd hurry."  He took off runnning out of store.   OOPS.


Same store, different day I got blamed for being racist for not giving a free sample of fried chicken.  Not sure if I would be more racist if I did offer him free chicken, but whatever.   We had a regular customer that would make my boss put his prepaid phone minutes on his phone.  One day he was in the store for about an hour, waiting on her to finish her work to put his minutes on his phone.  He then goes to the chicken side of the gas station and orders food.  Now it's all touch screen and it sends the order to back.  Before, though, you had to take the customers order, mark it on a sheet, give it to the customer and he would take it to the convenience store side and pay for it.  The lady gives the guy the paper and he brings it to me to ring it up.  He kind of stares at me for a second in disbelief that it was 2 dollars.  He then says, "She said it was a free sample."  Amazingly I didn't even cuss, probably because I was confused.  I just say, "uhh sir we don't give free samples."  He insists it was a free sample, so I ask my boss, the same one who had spent an hour helping him put minutes on his phone.  She concurs there's no free sample.  He storms out of the store saying, "I'm friends with Jesse Jackson (born in the county)"  When he walks out the door he says to a white lady, "Don't go in there, they racist."  White lady replies, "I don't care,  I'm white."

 
Same location, different day.  I had problems with people driving off with gas.  The owner of the company would not let us make people prepay.  We HAD to pay back anything over three dollars on our shit.  It was so bad at that location that I had to pay 150 of a 250 check.  After getting an e-mail that under no circumstance could we make customers pre-pay (even though everyone in the area had because o theft) our owner decided to pay us a visit.  He approved a pump and said our little spiel "hi, welcome your approved to pump at #" etc.  After a minute I look at the screen and it says "Busy" at the pump.  No one is there.  That means they didn't hang the nozzle up on the pump and drove away.    The next morning (not even 24 hours), there's a company wide e-mail that everyone, everywhere, no matter what, has to pre-pay.  

 

 
I have some stories about cleaning up restrooms, and they're worse than you think.  Just so you know, and you do if you've worked in a gas station,  that it's not as bad as they say.  It's worse.  I've had to clean up poops from people that were doing acrobatics in the restroom.


I forgot a story in the "oops" category.  The store used to play oldies as music.  One night they were playing a Temptations song (think).  This white guy says to me "What happened to black music?"  We talked about that for a minute, and then next just happened to be a older black gentleman.  I didn't think anything of it, because I was actually curious.  I grew up on oldies because my dad was 30 when I was born.  That's a little older than the 15-25 range that people have babies in this state.  I asked the guy , "What happened to black music?"  The guy wasn't even offended just says, "I dunno, but I hope it finds it's way back to how it used to be."  Nope, we got Beyonce."


I just remembered that there was a witness to the stripper story.  There was a guy behind her in line when she was wigging out about someone being at her car.  I  looked at him and we had this silent connection of "WTF is wrong with this bitch."


I'll try to dig up some more entertaining ones.  I have a lot about people stealing things, but I really did enjoy my stint on third shift.  Most of the really crazy ones happened on first and first shift (racist chicken, angry old men ones, owner getting driven off on)  second shift had the fight and crack rock.   I enjoyed third shift when I worked at the small gas station, most people were rather nice and took time to have a conversation.  I would get bored and make up name tags that say Cletus, one customer actually believed my name was Cletus.    I had one guy invite me over to his house several times despite the fact that he was 20 years older than I was.  CREEPY.

This one night, I made a name tag that said Pudgy Flash.  This lady (about 25-35) came in asking about directions to the AmTrak station and was like, "Dude is that really your name?"  I didn't know she was serious because who names their kid Pudgy Flash.  I just cooly say "yeah."  In disbelief she says, "That's so cool!"  I reply with the first thing that pops in my head, "My parents were hippies."  I guess hippies name their kid Pudgy Flash after all because she was telling me how awesome my name was and was amazed.

 
LOL damn those stories are gold, Sizemore. Helps me pass the time at work.
 
My favorite was the owner finally learning his own lesson about prepays.  It's sad that he couldn't have smarten up until he saw it happen in front of him.  That's messed up that they actually take it out of your paycheck.  Is that even legal? I never worked at a gas station but one time I was talking to a technician that was working on a pump and quizzed him on the issues that come up with pumps.  I found it interesting that he told me that a common thing customers are guilty of are pumping extra gas beyond the full line.  He said it messes up the sensor inside the pump and is the directly results in a pump not being able to hold in place with the lock mechanism because of the air that gets stuck inside the nozzle iirc.  He also said it's expensive to fix pumps when people become careless and drive away with it still inserted in the gas tank. Sometimes the pumps can break right off since they are built that way for safety reasons. 
 
Is it bad if you have those long pumps that can reach over to the other side of your car?  It's when the gas lines are full that it's more convenient to just park on the opposite lane and stretch the pump over your car.  iirc, he said it's fine so long as you don't have a huge car like an SUV.  Small sized sedans like the one I use are fine.
 
I don't work in retail anymore so I don't have anything new from my personal vault of stories to add but when I went to Best Buy last week an employee told me how once in awhile they will field calls from customers requesting them to be "transferred to electronics."  lol wut.
 
Donut2922 said:
LOL damn those stories are gold, Sizemore. Helps me pass the time at work.

My favorite was the owner finally learning his own lesson about prepays. It's sad that he couldn't have smarten up until he saw it happen in front of him. That's messed up that they actually take it out of your paycheck. Is that even legal? I never worked at a gas station but one time I was talking to a technician that was working on a pump and quizzed him on the issues that come up with pumps. I found it interesting that he told me that a common thing customers are guilty of are pumping extra gas beyond the full line. He said it messes up the sensor inside the pump and is the directly results in a pump not being able to hold in place with the lock mechanism because of the air that gets stuck inside the nozzle iirc. He also said it's expensive to fix pumps when people become careless and drive away with it still inserted in the gas tank. Sometimes the pumps can break right off since they are built that way for safety reasons.

Is it bad if you have those long pumps that can reach over to the other side of your car? It's when the gas lines are full that it's more convenient to just park on the opposite lane and stretch the pump over your car. iirc, he said it's fine so long as you don't have a huge car like an SUV. Small sized sedans like the one I use are fine.

I don't work in retail anymore so I don't have anything new from my personal vault of stories to add but when I went to Best Buy last week an employee told me how once in awhile they will field calls from customers requesting them to be "transferred to electronics." lol wut.
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Every pump I have seen now has a breakaway designed to literally break if someone drives off with the nozzle in the tank. It looks like a big round clasp that you see on jewelry. I've got a couple of more stories I have forgotten from my time as a passive aggressive gas cashier person.


As far as the legality of it, I dunno. I argued that with my manager plenty of times, because money is insured. If someone busted in and stole the safe, that money was insured. There's nowhere near thousands of dollars in the safe, so the gas should be insured as well. We didn't have to pay it back if we got a case number from the police, but you have to get a tag number. Good luck while trying to watch 24 pumps from 50 feet away.

My favorite stories of lolwut with phones i from when I was an Assistant Manager at a fast food place. People would call and say "Wow I can't believe you're open" during snow days. Well, if you didn't risk life and limb (no one can drive in any cold weather here) to pay 8 bucks for a hamburger we wouldn't.

 
Now for more stories.


I always hate when people ask me to spend more money than I intend to. "would you like to donate here?" "Can we interest you in this?" "Do you want girl scout cookies?"  No, I don't.  If I donate money to your cause, you get to put up a big press release on how you donated such and such.  You donated my money.  I don't donate for credit, but it just rubs me the wrong way.   I'm not anti-donating, just a pet peeve.  Enough of that and onto what people want to read.  I was working for another gas station that would give out free car washes if you didn't ask people if they wanted a car wash. I never bugged them, because it was when gas prices were rising and wages were not.

The worst part is people would be downright rude about it.  "Give me my free car wash." That or they would be all giddy and almost do a jig about it.  Making matters worse, my boss at the time sent in "spies" to make sure we were doing it.  I had gotten tired of hearing about how I didn't offer car washes and had like 3 free ones on a shift, so I decided to see how many I could rack up in one shift.  I don't know the exact number, but it had to be at least 30.  My manager had a talking to me and my reasoning was, "I didn't feel like doing it today."  My boss didn't know what to say and I got out of trouble.


Same store, various shifts.  I'm fat, thus have  moobs.  Middle aged men in this area seem to be hormonal primates because they couldn't make eye contact with me.  I got called honey, sugar, baby quite a bit.  After a while I started hitting on them back.  I'm straight, know it and don't care what the hormonal primates think of me.  "Thank you sugar."  "Oh you're welcome honeybuns, come back and see me."   They felt awkward after those exchanges.

I had one guy curse me out because he "didn't get any gas" because when he filled up, pulled up to pay, cut his truck off, it still said empty.  He was already mad he had to prepay.  Turns out, he has one of those "big,fancy trucks" that only reads the gas tank when it's cranked.  Oops.

Then there was the gentleman who was trying to be a douchenozzle and talk down to me by calling me son.  He was at the most 15 years older than I was.   I smiled bigger than I had before and sad "Daddy!!!! Where have you been?  It's been about 18 years!! i missed you and momma said she wants her child support."  He turned bright red with embarrassment.  Hope i didn't ruin his marriage.

 

Sorry for the books, but I figure people would enjoy the stories.

 
You should create a blog. Then i could vote for it for blog of the year on the no longer existent cheapy awards.

 
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Confucius said:
You should created a blog. Then i could vote for it for blog of the year on the no longer existent cheapy awards.
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Thanks. I really didn't mean to hijack the thread, but people were enjoying it and the world is so negative that even a little story could brighten someone's day. i'll try to remember some other stories and blog about it.

 
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